PAL Winter 2010/2011 Mummies Group

[KimmyB]

girls

I fear I need your help again...Not really sure where to start so here goes...I feel like I'm actually going crazy. No other way to describe it. I am moody all the time, incredibly snappy with DH (who is a fantastic husband and doesn't deserve the abuse), quite tearful, easily upset. Archie is such a good baby and yet i sometimes find myself losing patience with the little guy when he's being a *slight* handful I am over-run with washing, ironing, cleaning and find myself worrying about it and unable to get to sleep at night (even when I'm dog tired) There just isn't enough hours in the day and I'm struggling. My family is a massive help and will take care of Archie whenever, I only have to ask. But the when he's gone I miss him terribly and feel like a failure of a mummy coz I can't juggle the house, a baby and work! Also there is very rarely spare money for treats and I feel like a complete frump, my body is a disaster area, I only have a handful of clothes that actually fit. I'm also still mourning my pregnancy (only way I can put it) and wondering about number 2 (I know, crazy! Can't even cope with 1 baby nevermind 2) So what the hell is wrong with me? Its fine if no-one understands I just needed to get that off my chest and don't think DH really understands. Help me

 

[MissyMojo]

aww sweetheart xxxx

to admit how your feeling is amazing - how is ur relationship with HV?? maybe ask them to have a chat,

its hard to juggle a baby and house nevermind throwing in work.
i have a homestart helper who comes once a week for 2 hours, she looks after maddox while i have 2hrs to catch up with h/wrk and is a godsend,

dont feel guilty for asking some help whether its h/wrk or home life

one thing i remind myself cnstantly is it took 9m for my body to change and grow n stretch to create our babies, and we have to allow 9m at least to go back to what we were

why not take Archie out on walks in the pushchair 2/3 times a week, the fresh air can help blow away cobwebs and is an esy free weight loss exercise

sending you love n hugs xxx

 

[TripleB]

Oh Kimmy, that's what we're here for . I think you've penned pretty neatly how lots of us feel and like Jo I think it's amazing you can admit how it's getting you down. I can totally sympathsize with the out-of-control feeling with the housework. Our place has never been such a state. Its not surprising when we're all spending more time in the house but have our hands completely full, things mount up. But hunni, you're allowed to let things slip - you've got your hands full with Archie and work too. I now only iron the essentials (used to be a bit anal and iron everything), do what I can with the washing (basket is overflowing) and just clean when it needs doing rather than being on top of it all the time. I still find myself doing it mostly on the weekend because there's just no time in the week. Sounds like you've got a great hubby, can he help with the housework? As for feeling snappy even though Archie is a good baby - I certainly hope this is normal! Florence is also a treasure most of the time but I've found myself telling her off when I'm at the end of my tether. Agree you could contact HV but want you to know you're not alone (you should see the state of my body, I blame it on the c-section!) xxx

 

[Tulip]

Phillippa did you and Wrigs go to ASDA perchance?

Jo, I hope you feel better soon poppet.

Kim - frankly I think we're all feeling the same as you. D is an angel, aside from the frequent wakings, but I do snap at him sometimes. I don't iron and I don't clean - if I'm on top of washing, we have clean plates/mugs/cutlery/filled bottles and both D and I are fed then I'm fairly happy. If hubby wants to polish the flush button on the bog (like this morning) then he can do it himself.

You're doing fantastically and youre not going mad. If it's any consolation this place looks like a chinese laundry atm because I've just washed D's 3-6 gear and am trying to sort his 0-3 to sell. My HV says she'd worry if the house didn't look like a shit tip, she'd be concerned I wasn't spending time with the baby xxxxx

 

[TripleB]

If hubby wants to polish the flush button on the bog (like this morning) then he can do it himself.

- love it!

Also love your new Dillon montage - is that Jo's handiwork?

xxx

 

[Tulip]

Thanks! No its by Lindsay (WhisperOfHope) - same lady that did Jo's. She's got a siggy shop on the forum if you want one of Flossie xx

 

[fluffyblue]

Hi girls hope we are all well.

Kimmy - im feeling the same as yourself sometimes, this is my third child and you would think I have it to a tee by now but they are all different, Ollie is very demanding and doesnt sleep and constantly whines all the time, I do snap but I have a very good OH who will just take him off me and make me go and do something like go for a walk, drive, even just have a cuppa or a bath and to be honest it works.

I know it sounds daft but I was thinking of starting a journal/blog simply because sometimes I feel writing it down, as you have, really helps let it out and if someone wants to read and give advice then even better? Maybe that might help.

Im lucky as well OH does all the housework but to be honest when he goes to work I do struggle to keep on top of it as Ollie needs constant attention, I also have a 10 year old at home who is hard work too, although she can be a big help she is very hormonal and clingy and demands as mch attention as Ollie does.

As for ironing forget it, I just wash put it in the dryer and put it away and iron it when I need it, I got past that years ago.

I know how you feel about feeling like a frump at the mo, I am living in one pair of jeans and leggins with tops at mo. Im thinking of trying ebay as sometimes you can get some bargains.

I also loves Jo's quote about the 9m time scale never ever thought about it like that.

We are allowed to feel this way, we have done the most wonderful thing in the world and brought life into it and if we spent all the time doing things we are "expected" to do would we have happy children - no I dont think so !

Im not very good at giving advice so sorry if it seems a little about me !! But you are doing a wonderful job and have a gorgeous child and try not to worry this feeling does pass, i dont know how ive got an 18 and a 10 year old and Ollie and still smile !!

 

[Tulip]

Ooh yes I demand you two both start journals! I stalk Jo and Phillippa but don't manage to post a lot xx

I went to Primark last week and bought 2 pairs if jeans and some new tops to tide me over til I'm back in my 8/10s with a flat(ish) belly. Feel much better wearing tops that don't cling to what looks like a 16-week bump.

xxx

 

[MissyMojo]

journaling definately helps

clothes - i live i jarmie bottoms, 1 pair of joggers, a pair of stretched out leggings, and 1 pair of jeans - which heaving on ive pulled the belt loops away frm jeans! and old vest tops i wore while preg and stretched.

i think as mummies we all get a lil bit hard on ourselves and as women we always compare ourselves to others,

we'll all get there

 

[wish2bmama]

aw kimmy I def am feeling the same feelings here too.

Well said Jo!

 

[KimmyB]

Aw girls what the hell would I do without you lot You're all so busy with the LO's and yet you find time to write all that, god I'm almost blubbing again!
Only ever seen/spoken to my HV once and we didn't really click unfortunately Was thinking of going to see my GP (I have a history of anxiety/depression) but by the sounds of it the way I'm feeling is "normal" to a certain degree (ofcourse I'll keep an eye on it and if it worsens I'll get straight to the docs)
Thanks for all the advice on the ironing/cleaning, don't know why I get myself in such a state about it :/ Although I think it stems from my mum, she's a brilliant person but very particular about tidiness/cleanliness so I always feel judged by others if the house is abit of a mess (although they never say anything) Hubby will help with the housework if I ask him to (typical man doesn't see a mess even when there is one!) but then he's at work full time so has very little time to help with things like that.
I may start a journal...I did start one when ttc archie but no-one read it so I felt like a bit of a loser
Nic, had to laugh at the bog button polishing
I spoke to DH a little about how I'm feeling, difficult to get it across though (forgot to mention we have never argued half as much as we do since little man arrived, had a complete meltdown at the weekend but we're over it now and back on track) So DH has had Archie all afternoon whilst I went shopping (spent far too much money that we don't really have but I was so desperate for a treat) then went for a late lunch with the girls (my friend told me she's expecting her 3rd baby ) which was nice. I'm now laid out on the sofa whilst DH is at the footie and Archie man is in bed.
We've also planned a date for thurs evening, mums having little man and me and the hubby are going out for tea, looking forward to it

What would I do without you girls!!

 

[TripleB]

That's fab Kimmy - sounds like you have lots planned to cheer you up, do keep an eye on it though (and don't be daft we would read your journal!). How great is it to have a support network like this - love ya ladies! xxx

 

[Tulip]

Kimmy do this questionnaire: https://www.testandcalc.com/etc/tests/edin.asp it's the PND scale and will tell you if you should speak to someone xxx

 

[wish2bmama]

OMG! I am SOOO tired!! AAHHH!! I just want a good long nap

 

[Tulip]

Honey you are doing SO well on your own Not long til hubby is home for snuggles xxx

 

[fluffyblue]

OMG Nik i did the test i got a 10 im depressed - im not depressed im just tired!

 

[Tulip]

That is exactly my problem!!

 

[hb1]

Hey All - Sorry for being AWOL - Ollie being a little minx ( Wish - my heart goes out to you - seriously - with OH away I really don't know how you are doing it - you are one strong lady!! )

Kimmy I think getting OH to do the housework is the way to go - I am really lucky that OH has done this on his own accord - he does EVERYTHING and I just look after Ollie ( when I say I should be doing more his response is - you're all ready doing everything you need to ). He also takes Ollie for an hour or so when he's home from work so I can get a nap ( with Ollie not sleeping well and being awkward in the day time and breastfeeding on demand I am def feeling shattered ).

You def shouldn't feel bad about not having time. Glad you have got some you time now - but def make sure this is an ongoing thing not a one off, you don't want your batteries to get low again....

Haven't done the test but getting tested/questioned by the HV on Firday. On the HV note - she has been twice now and this next visit is only 2 weeks after the last one - the MW said she would prob visit once then make the next appt 6 weeks later - does this mean that she is worried about me - she has written "no concerns" in my red book both visits and not mentioned anything to me....???

Hope everyone is well

hx

 

[MissyMojo]

it may be she just wanted to chck you were managing BF ok?

my HV runs a weekly session at youth club from 8-11 and its for weighing baby and essions on weaning, relationships, sleep, pelvc floors, healthy eatin etc so i see her loads

 

[KimmyB]

Thanks Hb, such a lovely OH you've got there I will definitely try to have more "me" time. Got hubby to do the ironing tonight
Nic I got 15 on that test but am feeling much better today...Will give it another week to see if it's hormone related then will get to the doctors if I need to.
Wish you are one strong lady and put me to shame. You're doing amazingly on your own
Loves all round xx