Party and people not turning up

[LaughOutLoud]

So DD wanted a birthday party for her school friends. As Halloween is round the corner, the venues an entertainers were already getting booked up so I thought I'd have her birthday during half term holiday. We invited 23 kids and only 9 turned up!
I only knew of 2 kids who couldn't make it and 6 others told me day before and or 2 days before the party that they not attending. Rest of them just didn't turn up.

I didn't invite any cousins because I thought I'd end up with too much of a high number of kids and had all the food and preparations done for a whole load of kids. All the food went in the bin and it seemed like a massive party for just 9 kids, not forgetting all the effort we made and all the money spent on food/gifts/games etc.

If I knew only 9 would turn up I would have invited DD's cousins and I felt so guilty for not having included them.

Is this normal for people to just not turn up or at least let us know that they wouldn't make it?

 

[sabby52]

I find it is completely normal for people not to show and not let you know Dec is having a party this week and he invited his whole class, I sent the invites into school and the beginning of October and asked people to RSVP by 15 Oct, 2 people got back to me :/ I send a letter to school with Dec to remind parents to let me know if their kids were coming, he now has 17 kids from his class coming, imagine if I had just assumed they werent coming :O

I always RSVP if we are going or not.

I hope your little girl had a great day anyway x

 

[LaughOutLoud]

I find it is completely normal for people not to show and not let you know Dec is having a party this week and he invited his whole class, I sent the invites into school and the beginning of October and asked people to RSVP by 15 Oct, 2 people got back to me :/ I send a letter to school with Dec to remind parents to let me know if their kids were coming, he now has 17 kids from his class coming, imagine if I had just assumed they werent coming :O

I always RSVP if we are going or not.

I hope your little girl had a great day anyway x

Thanks for your reply. I assumed people are coming even though they hadn't responded! Felt like a waste of a party. Think I'll be sticking to just family from now on!

 

[Rhio92]

Connor had a party last year, we invited 10 people, 1 said they couldn't make it, 6 said they could, 4 turned up. It was so disappointing. Luckily some brought sibling along, so I said they were welcome to join in and have food. Connor had a great time regardless.

 

[LaughOutLoud]

Connor had a party last year, we invited 10 people, 1 said they couldn't make it, 6 said they could, 4 turned up. It was so disappointing. Luckily some brought sibling along, so I said they were welcome to join in and have food. Connor had a great time regardless.[/QUOTE


It seems to be common then, just not appearing! I always think it's rude not to make an effort and specially not informing if not coming. Oh well, you learn!

 

[pandacub]

I think it's soo rude not to rsvp (seriously, how hard is it to send a text?) When Jacob was at nursery, his friend had a party and invited everyone, there were about 15 invites I think, and 4 turned up.

 

[Blu10]

I agree its so rude not to RSVP and to say youre going then not turn up is super rude. It happened with DS first party we invited 20 kids had 15 say they were coming and 9 turned up. Last year we invited 25 though and 23 turned up. We had people texting the day before though to say they were coming after having the invite for a month x

 

[Andypanda6570]

I feel awful for you..It's not right, it is NOT acceptable and NO I don't feel it's the norm...Should have , could have, would have, doesn't matter now..I am so sorry that this happened.. XO

 

[OmarsMum]

Yup normal, we went to a classmate birthday party on Friday only 4 including us came from school. The mum hired an entertainer, cotton candy & popcorn machine & a slide but she invited cousins. I honestly don't favor school peers over cousins.

 

[DCS]

I hate that this is the norm. It's so unfair. We went to a party last weekend. And my DS was the boys only school friend. The rest I'm assuming were family. I felt so sorry for the mum and the kid.
DS wants a party for his birthday and I'm reluctant to hire a place. £105 plus the time and energy making food and buying decorations etc and planning, I just don't have any of that to waste. DS doesn't even have any cousins.

I thought it was just basic politeness to rsvp and stick to it or let the parent know if you can't make it.
I'm sorry this happened to you.

 

[alibaba24]

This seems to be the norm but I find it incredibly rude. Even if you say you are going then have to cancel you should always let the patent know. Were having our first "official" party in January and I'm kinda dreading this type of thing happening as were going to a lot of effort

 

[LeannieB]

I always let the parent know if we can come or not asap. We had a big joint party in the summer for one of my boy's and another boy in his class. It was much easier having two of us doing the arrangements etc. We found a lot of people were late replying so in the end we just made up extra spare party bags etc just incase. My boys birthdays are July, August and September, so next year we are having one big party at home for all of them. Barbecue and bouncy castle etc xx

 

[MindUtopia]

If someone hadn't responded, I would assume that they weren't coming. But I think it's different if they had said they were coming and then didn't show without any explanation. Last year, none of the kids RSVPed to our daughter's party until the day before. It was a small party (we'd only invited 5 of her friends), mostly for family, so it didn't make a whole lot of difference. But we went from having no kids to suddenly three about 24 hours before!

 

[lau86]

I always rsvp whether I'm going or not. It's just rude not to. The host has to get food ready etc so for me it's just common courtesy that they know numbers. This is one of the reasons ds1 hasn't had a party yet!

 

[Jazzy-NICU]

Had exactly the same so my sons birthday party. His birthday is the end of August so did invitations for preschool friends before the holidays. The amount of people who didn't RSVP was ridiculous. I knew some people wouldn't make it because of holidays etc but at least they RSVPd to say that!
It takes 2secs to send a text! We had about 12 not RSVP and not turn up, 2 who said they were coming and didn't and 1 who came without rsvping. About 16 kids in total so DS still had a lovely party but it's just the rudeness of it!
I would never not RSVP!

 

[LaughOutLoud]

Thanks Everyone for your replies. Our family is large and have many cousins but think I wouldn't be excluding them next time and don't think we will be having another wasted attempt at a school party for a looooong time!

 

[OmarsMum]

Thanks Everyone for your replies. Our family is large and have many cousins but think I wouldn't be excluding them next time and don't think we will be having another wasted attempt at a school party for a looooong time!

I feel the same, Omar wants a "big" party, but I'm still not sure, I want a small party with those we know in addition to cousins, but he wants to invite school friends. I might invite a friend or 2 from school but that's it.

 

[tallybee]

It's definitely common but completely rude. People seem to not think at all.

 

[missk1989]

We almost cancelled Isaac's party the week before as only 2 had rsvp from nursery and many family had gone away for half term. On the Tuesday one more replied and asked if she could bring a sibling and by Friday (2 days before) we had 14 coming. I had ordered online a week earlier all the stuff for party bags and games and so had to spend the day before running round and getting extras. Luckily I made more just in case which was good because 18 turned up. Most of those were siblings that they had not thought to mention and just brought along expecting them to be fed.
It was great in the end but way too stressful. I dont think I will be putting so much effort in next year.

 

[lindseymw]

We've been lucky really and have found the majority of people rsvp & turn up. For Joshua's, there was 16 invites and only one didn't let me know either way (they turned up.)

It seems to be norm, when speaking with other parents, that most rsvp (either way.)

If we had rsvp'd then couldn't turn up, I would text to explain as soon as I knew.