Performance Issues

[SeptDreams]

I really appreciate hearing anyone's response because I feel like this is another thing people don't really talk about or have trouble talking about.

I have been with DH for 7 years - and have always felt proud of how active our sex life was. After our miscarriage though he has had on and off issues performing. I know he feels terrible about it and so do I. The first few times it happed it- I was terrible and burst out crying.....but now i just try and tell him its okay and be supportive while totally freaking out inside my head (OMG it's CD14). He states its just when he thinks about how sad and terrible it all was it consumes him. I don't discuss my ovulation days etc with him since we just are EOD or EDD. We took 2 months off kind of - and were doing wonderfully this month - and than it happened once, twice, thrice. Ahhhh!

We were nervous because he had testicular cancer a few years ago and thought it may be related, but he has an exceptional bill of health. The odd thing thats throwing me is he'll go weeks at a time - no problem. Every freaking day....and than it happens....

Any advice??

 

[redrose89]

Didn't want to just r&r. I have no advice, I'm sorry. But, I hope it gets better for you.

 

[kleinfor3]

hmm...I don't really have what I would think is good advice...seems that he is overthinking it a bit. I totally understand your frustration about the thinking its day 14 and all. If your sexually active the other weeks and he's doing fine maybe he is more in tune with day 14 than you think or maybe your sending off signals and he's catching on to them about you ovulating, he could be getting nervous or anxious or scared about a repeat mc. Maybe you should give him some reading material about pregnancy after loss and successful pregnancy after loss facts and numbers. That could ease the pressure and you both can work thru it together. Try taking the 'work' out of it and have a little fun too. If it still seems to be an issue in 2 months I'd mention it to your doc. Maybe he'll have some medical advise he can give you. HTH and hope you get some swimmers on your day 14!