*** Pino's Journey Through It All ***

[Pino6161]

Hi, My is Saundra, I have actually been part of this website for a long while and have been through a lot. This first post will be a lot and I apologize for that!!

Let's start with the fact that I am 24 y/o and I have been trying on and off for a little over 6 years. I married my best friend back in 2010 but we have been trying longer than that. We have been together 8 years now.

I have gone through 3 MC's and they all happened the first 2 years of trying, nothing has happened since.

I am originally from Arizona, and about 3 years or so ago we moved to Oklahoma to be closer to my family. TTC was tearing my marriage apart and we saw it as a fresh start. It did not turn out that way at all. My mom and brother accused me of stealing and I honestly just missed home, so me and my OH decided to back to AZ and on the way home I found out my husband cheated on me more than once. I have no idea how I got passed it, but there was a lot of soul searching involved. This was almost a year ago now and looking back now I figured oout for the most part what was going on with him. I know it does not excuse it but it really does help knowing the reasoning. My husband first stepped out right after he turned 25. For some reason it hit him hard. The woman, or child I should say as she was barely 19 thought he was the same age. My theory is it was some sort of mid life crisis. About 2 months after we moved to AZ a close friend of his said there were good jobs in Texas and he should go. At that point I could still barely look at him, and of course our sex life had a hard hit. So he left. He got a job and I followed about 2 months later. I was extremely upset that he wanted to go alone in the first place, but we honestly needed it. A month before I moved here I met up with a old friend and he and I had a few to many. I stopped everything before it got to far, but I still told my husband.

We are getting to where we need to be but we put a bit of a hold on TTCing through it all. If something happens it happens.

I know it all sounds extremely horrible and both me and my husband were in the wrong. There is a bit more to the whole story but I figured it is time to let the past be the past and try my best to live life.

I just got my first AF in almost a year this week and it has been a ride lol. I was scared it was gone forever.

My period has never been normal or on schedule but this time around it really scared me.

I still have not gone to a doctor and I am absolutely terrified but this year is going to be a year of changes and I need to put on my big girl panties and just get it over with. It's better to know than to be in the grey... Right??

We are currently living in Odessa, Texas and my OH works for a company called Weatherford. He works in the oilfield and is on call 24/7. With the gas prices going own and the price of oil tanking they have hit his hours hard, and we are terrified he will be laid of this upcoming week. We are praying it doesn't happen, but it is not looking good as of right now.

I am currently not working conventionally, I care for a 5 y/o all day as he does not start school until next year.

I am thinking about going to bed, but hopefully I am on here a lot more often to get back in the swing of things.

Questions and comments are always welcome as I am an open book

 

[MrsBeany85]

Thank you for sharing your story so far, I think it was very brave of you. Everybody has a history and relationships aren't always easy but it's how you deal with things that matters. I wish you the best of luck and hope you get what you want! I found out my DH had a bit if a " thing" with soneone he worked with 4 years ago and it still kicks me in the gut when I'm feeling "that way out". We're stronger than ever now and I know he adores me so things always work out. Good luck!!x

 

[kittiecat]

stalking your journal Pino! Thanks for sharing with us what's been going on, that's very brave of you . Relationships can often have their hurdles and tbh mine hasn't always been perfect. I've said on here before that my OH has a gambling addiction (which is more under control now) and although he has never cheated on me, dealing with that at times has been like dealing with a mistress in that he would lie to me and sneak off to do it when I didn't know and would try to hide it from me. A lot of people said I should've left him but you love who you love right? And aside from his gambling he is a lovely man. It's just a horrible disease....Anyway sorry I kinda hijacked your journal there! Sounds like you two have come a long way in rebuilding your marriage and hopefully you will come out of all this stronger than ever

 

[preg_pilot]

:wave: pino.
Thanks for sharing

 

[Pino6161]

Things have been going well in the recent sense. My period lasted a little longer than normal, but since I have not had one in such a long period of time, I am not too worried. We got a new puppy last week. There was a 4 month old Husky/Border Collie that someone found roaming in the streets so we took her in. She is very skiddish and jumpy. Around men she is absolutely terrified. Just from her behavior she was abused. She is doing much better now that she has settled in. Reina (My Chihuahua) doesn't like her much but they mostly give each other distance.

Since all of the cheating things me and my husband's sex life took a huge hit. As of lately the last month or so it is getting back to normal which is about 3 times a week or so. Although today as a rarity was 3 times We are reconnecting on a personal level again, actually talking and having productive conversations without arguing.

Hopefully everything planned will stay on track

 

[countrygirl86]

Hi Pino! It's so nice to hear from you again. You have been through A LOT. I can't imagine how hard it must be dealing with DH's infidelity. You are such a strong person and I'm glad you are back on here