pissed off about baby name!!

[Equreuil]

Use the name.

It's not really fair of them (though it sounds more like it's her OH) to put a restriction on a name just because they "might want it in the future."

The only reason I would ever NOT use a name is if it already belonged to an existing child in the family, or to a child of a close friend.

 

[xxLeighxx]

I'm gonna go against the grain here and say to really think about it before you use it. Sure, anyone has a right to use any name that they want, but relationships might get damaged and feelings might be hurt. How important is this friendship to you? How upset do you think that she will be if you use it? Can you sit down with her and have a good talk about it before you actually use it?

Well she has told me that she personally doesnt care as she doesnt want anymore children after everything she has been through, she said its her OH who would prefer if we didnt! I have only met her OH on a few occasions and he is so neanderthal and tries to rule everyones lives, so this is why she said he thinks the names 'his'! My child would never ever be around him except at there wedding and thats it!

 

[All Girls]

Use the name. She is being an ass.

She may not mind, and she has no reason to mind either way, but she should have said nothing to you and told her husband to get a grip

 

[Rafferty]

USE IT! My sil used our boy name (Ethan) when we thought we were having a boy, but turns out we're having a girl. I would NEVER have expected to have her "save " the name for us! I don't "own" the name just because I like it!! And my nephew is so totally an Ethan

 

[Pinkflower83]

Unless there's a legal document saying she owns al rights to the name then you name him whatever you want. It's not their place to tell you what to name your baby. If you love it use it I say!

 

[special_kala]

Nobody owns a name so use it.

 

[MustBeMummy]

Girls I need some advice! Basically, we are really stuck on a boys name and the only boys name we like is Roman, it was on our original list but my friend who was due 2 days before me liked it and had it as her picked boys name! Well she had a little girl 4 weeks ago after a really tough pregnancy and giving birth at 27 weeks! But shes being funny about us using it, saying she doesnt mind but her OH would prefer us not to use it 'incase' they ever have a boy! Now my OH is really pissed off as shes had her baby and it was a girl and she's adamant shes never having any more children due to a loss and 2 bad pregnancies already! We had this name on a maybe list before she had even heard it but as it was her defo boys name I feel like its 'her' name! Our children atm barely see each other and I dont see her OH, we are just really good friends!
What would you do?

Use it. She doesnt have dibs on the name. Its not like its her property or she invented the name. Seems a bit petty to me.

 

[Babushka]

I would use it because you never know what could happen in the future with friendships anyhow especially ones with controlling and bossy friends.

 

[YellowGrey]

I'm gonna go against the grain here and say to really think about it before you use it. Sure, anyone has a right to use any name that they want, but relationships might get damaged and feelings might be hurt. How important is this friendship to you? How upset do you think that she will be if you use it? Can you sit down with her and have a good talk about it before you actually use it?

Well she has told me that she personally doesnt care as she doesnt want anymore children after everything she has been through, she said its her OH who would prefer if we didnt! I have only met her OH on a few occasions and he is so neanderthal and tries to rule everyones lives, so this is why she said he thinks the names 'his'! My child would never ever be around him except at there wedding and thats it!

It sounds like you have your answer then. If she doesn't care if you use it, no worries then, right?

 

[Louise88]

I'd use the name regardless I don't get the whole I want that name so you can't have it in the end of the day just because you call your lo Roman doesn't mean she can't use the same name if she has another baby in the future. Personally I just think she's being petty

 

[pinklightbulb]

I'd just use it

 

[JJKCB]

if she really likes that style and has a boy late she could use Rowan instead

just use it, as everyone has said its just common sense

 

[Proserpina]

Just use it. Not only is it possible she will never have a boy, but her tastes in names (and those of her OH) are likely to change over the years. By the time they have a boy, it's possible they'll have moved on to a new favorite name.

And I gotta dissent from the poster who suggested a kreaytiv spealing of Roman as an alternative. You do not want your kid having to say, "No, it's Roe-man with an E after the O" for the rest of his life!

https://www.scarymommy.com/baby-name-donts/

 

[JJKCB]

Just use it. Not only is it possible she will never have a boy, but her tastes in names (and those of her OH) are likely to change over the years. By the time they have a boy, it's possible they'll have moved on to a new favorite name.

And I gotta dissent from the poster who suggested a kreaytiv spealing of Roman as an alternative. You do not want your kid having to say, "No, it's Roe-man with an E after the O" for the rest of his life!

https://www.scarymommy.com/baby-name-donts/

where as some of that link made sense, must is just rude and judgmental

my son was named after 3 of those points:

- a fictional characters name (bet you cant guess who though)
- a combination of his uncles names (the first letters of each uncles name)
- and a nickname (short for a classic name)

however no one has ever thought his name of 'Jake' is stupid

we also didn't tell anyone, we did this for lots of reasons not because Jake is a stupid name and its incredibly rude to assume you know why someone is

 

[Proserpina]

where as some of that link made sense, must is just rude and judgmental

my son was named after 3 of those points:

- a fictional characters name (bet you cant guess who though)
- a combination of his uncles names (the first letters of each uncles name)
- and a nickname (short for a classic name)

however no one has ever thought his name of 'Jake' is stupid

Though "Jake" was originally a nickname for "Jacob," it's common enough on its own now that I doubt it's what the article writer had in mind when she said "don't name your kid a nickname."

Kind of like naming your kid "Jack" instead of "John." Yes, "Jack" was originally a nickname for "John," but it's so common on its own now that I doubt anyone would think twice about it.

She also wasn't discouraging people from giving their kids unusual names when named after relatives. In fact, she said that was acceptable.

 

[Bartness]

A good friend of OH was due a month before we were and around a fire we discussed names. Both decides on Jackson/Jaxon. Both thought it was fine....however they choose Greyson when he was born...I say use Roman!

 

[Varenne]

I never understood this claiming names malarky! She can't own it. Use it, definitely. She might hate it by the time she has a boy, if that time ever comes, or you might even hate eachother! Big changes happen in life. Your son is forever.

 

[xjesx]

Use it.

How many of us grew up with people with the same names as us. How many Jessicas, Ryans, Ashleys, Michaels were in your class.

I know the difference may be that it is a friend, but just like anything else in life we can't wait around and hope for what ifs.

Also, if you are so close that this is causing animosity than surely you are so close that your friends with love to have a little "nephew" named Roman.

My hubby and I are expecting...still very early but never too early to research names...many of our friends are giving birth, it seems once a month, if any use a name that is on my list, its no reason for me to scratch it.

 

[onetwothreebp]

I would use it and if she started saying anything, I would just kindly cut her off and remind her that it was on your original list and that's all there is to it.

 

[MrsPMP]

Totally use it.