Please Help - Single Parent and Pregnant x

[Kd44]

Hey im really looking for some advice / support?

I am a single mum to a fantastic 3.5yr old girl. After a relationship that spanned over 10 years I left her father when she was only a few months old. Things had become extremely negative and abusive whilst i was pregnant. after a long struggle and lots of changes to his life we have finally been in a good place for around 6 months. I was aware that he felt we would be getting back together and have really had to work at managing this! Although he's changed a lot and i have considered the possibility of us getting back together i have always known deep down it would have never worked.

Anyway i have recently found out i am pregnant (nearly 8 weeks) - the baby is not his. I am ashamed to say this has happened following (a protected) one night stand. Basically my life is pretty complicated in every way at the mo - i started a new job this monday, im in a bit of a pickle with where we should be living - lots and lots of stuff all at once basically!

I have told some friends, daughters dad and my mum. [Removed as per forum rules]

I havent told the father yet - really want to get it over with but feel it will be better to wait another week or so until things are a bit more certain.

ive always wanted my daughter to have a sibling but just never expected or wanted it to be like this?! I am feeling nervous and frightened of being a single parent to 2 particularly given the circumstances?

Would love to hear from anyone particularly those who've had any sort of similar experiences??

Sorry for the long post! Thanks for listening

xxx

 

[Wobbles]

Thread approved.

I have edited some details that do not follow our forum rules.

 

[emeraldbaby]

Welcome.
Im sorry to hear you are going through a hard time.
I can't completely relate, as I am only expecting my first child now... But I will be a single Mom.
I know finding out you were pregnant must've been a shock to you, things of that magnitude take time to process. That being said, please don't make any rash decisions concerning baby within you. Fear can make us do things we later regret.
I don't know what you are planning concerning the pregnancy because some of your post was edited, but to state the obvious, this baby is yours and deserves just as much consideration as his/her big sister.
Everything will work out. No doubt you will have both good and bad days, but you are strong and will get through them. Hugs x

 

[AnnabelsMummy]

i can relate a bit..

I am a single mum, to 2. The relationship ended when i was about 3/4 months pregnant. I had just started college, when i found out too.

Personally, i found pregnancy, the hardest part, in terms of being a single mum of two. People always assume that you're in a relationship with the father, there's all these things geared towards involving the man - so much so that i felt like i was really alone.

do you have support, eg, your mother or a really close friend? who can help support you, and maybe be in the labour room with you etc.

Get your daughter involved a bit (especially as she's a girl), my little girly, although didn't really understand, i felt like it was a special thing we shared (and that's way better than sharing it with a man).

In terms of having 2 kids on your own, i really enjoy it, sometimes it's quite difficult and you feel like you're going crazy (although you get that with one), and other times it's so amazing. It's also nice in a way, because it's all my way, and the kiddies have a very stable life, they know what's going on and what to expect.

Also in terms of telling the father, he might want to be involved? etc.

sorry about the ramble ha!.. feel free to PM me if you wanna chat or anything! I'm good at listening and know what it can be like!
x

 

[Coopers_mummy]

Hello. I can relate. I have a 3 year old boy and he is my world. I am currently 15 weeks pregnant with my second child. A total surprise after being told I was infertile. I had been seeing a guy on and off for 3 months. First time we slept together I got pregnant. When I told him he wanted to be involved for about a week then he went off the idea. He didn't want to give up his sports car and made it very obvious he felt I wasn't good enough for him and he didn't want a "fat" gf when I got a bump. What an idiot!! It's fair to say I wasn't too sad to see him go. As far as I'm concerned this is my baby the same as my son. We are doing it together. He comes to my appointments and scans and his reaction means everything to me. Would rather share it with him. I do have a very close family and have sooo much help and support so I don't need a man an like someone else said you get to do it all your own way. Name them what unlike, dress them how u like, pram, nursery, everything is up to you I love being a single mum