Please help us

[adamskatie]

Hi ladies,

This is the first time I've come over to this section and I havent much time to read past posts to help me but we're really struggling.

I had quite a traumatic time this week - waters broke on Monday, booked into be induced which got delayed and a finally gave birth to my little man on Wednesday (I didnt sleep Tuesday and Wednesday night due to being in hospital etc).

We came home with my son on Wednesday night which was so lovely to bring Samson home but hubby and I didnt get to sleep until 6am Thursday morning because he cried all night (I did manage a couple of feeds). He was so good all day yesterday but stupidaly we didnt take advantage of it and have a few naps so ended up staying up again all night with Samson crying and being really griserly.

Feeding has really improved and he is being winded straight after and burping, farting, and bringing up wind but he just wont settle. We had family up today and my auntie held him for 2 hours while he layed there and slept - they went and he has been crying since (4 plus hours) he falls asleep on us but just wont go down.

I am so tired and trying with all my heart to be patient but my body feels like its just shutting down - hubby is able to get bits of sleep but I'm just not able to.

Am I being just stupid and this is really what babies do or do you think there may be something wrong with Samson? If he had colic wouldnt I know by now? (I know he hasnt because he does have a few good sleeps).

I'm so desperate for sleep and I feel so sorry for my little man that he may be in so much pain.

Hubby has been amazing but because I'm breast feeding there is only so much he can do.

ANY help / suggestions / guidence would be SOOOO appreciated xx

 

[SophiasMummy]

the only thing i can suggest hun is when your LO is asleep you should definiatly sleep too esp as your BF. dont worry about cleaning or house work just get as much sleep as you can no matter what time of day it is eventually LO will calm down and get himself into a routine. hope it gets better for you soon xxx

 

[FLUMPY1984]

You have to remember hun its all new for a baby so soon. What you could try is swaddling him with a blanket that may work he may just need that bit of comfort if you know what i mean. Make sure hes winded ok and you can give him infacol or 2.5ml of gripe water watered down in cooled boiled water as a newborn if hes a bit windy.

Dont worry hun it will get better once he gets used to things. Why not try expressing so your oh can share feeds...helps a little.

Good luck hun and dont worry you will be fine xx

 

[blahblahblah]

I'm sorry to tell you, but that sounds pretty normal for a newborn.

The best thing you can do is take turns as much as you can. It's easy for your hubby to get a nap. For you, it needs careful timing. Straight after a good feed, send hubby and baby out for a walk, and have a nap then. You'll have a much better chance of sleeping if there are no distant baby noises!

It will get better, but it takes some time and practise.

 

[FLUMPY1984]

the only thing i can suggest hun is when your LO is asleep you should definiatly sleep too esp as your BF. dont worry about cleaning or house work just get as much sleep as you can no matter what time of day it is eventually LO will calm down and get himself into a routine. hope it gets better for you soon xxx

a good idea...forget everything your house is going to be a tip for a week or so with a newborn...dont worry about it just get some rest x

 

[~NEL~]

Firstly congrats on your LO x

I found inthe first few weeks Infacol really helped my DS bringing up wind and therefore was a more relaxed and slept okish.
The first few weeks were the hardest until LO settles into a routine, be patient and defo sleep when he sleeps. Good luck

 

[Peardrop]

First I will say - it's normal! Your baby has been warm and cozy inside you and now he is out in the big and scary world. You are his one constant. He wants to be with you. My LO was the same and I ended up making a little nest on the sofa and slept there with him in my arms for the first 3 weeks! The lack of sleep hits you hard but you do adjust. Others ways of coping could be:

- shifts with your partner
- safe cosleeping
- sling/moby wrap

Ollie began to go down into his cot at 3 weeks (we kept trying but without getting stressed) and by 6 weeks he would spend the night there after feeds.

There is a newborn tips thread which is good. Search for that.

Lastly sleep when you can during the day or even if it's not sleep then rest.

Are you BF or FF?

 

[MrsNovBaby]

That sounds normal for a newborn - he will get better Sleep when he does and take it in turns with DH to get some kip.

Have to say that 13 weeks ago I was in the same boat as you and now LO sleeps through, so there is an end in sight.

Good luck and I love the name xx

 

[Raggydoll]

Congratulations on your LO. x

Swaddling was an absolute lifesaver for us in the first couple of weeks. We also rolled a blanket into a sausage ans secured it at the bottom of her basket.

My massage teacher taught me the six minute hold. When your baby is crying hold them in one position for six minutes.

Take care. x

 

[adamskatie]

First I will say - it's normal! Your baby has been warm and cozy inside you and now he is out in the big and scary world. You are his one constant. He wants to be with you. My LO was the same and I ended up making a little nest on the sofa and slept there with him in my arms for the first 3 weeks! The lack of sleep hits you hard but you do adjust. Others ways of coping could be:

- shifts with your partner
- safe cosleeping
- sling/moby wrap

Ollie began to go down into his cot at 3 weeks (we kept trying but without getting stressed) and by 6 weeks he would spend the night there after feeds.

There is a newborn tips thread which is good. Search for that.

Lastly sleep when you can during the day or even if it's not sleep then rest.

Are you BF or FF?

Thanks Peardrop - I am breast feeding at the moment but have come very close to bottle feeding so that I can use a dummy. It would break my heart to do this but I'm affraid I wont be able to cope. He will only feed off my left breast which has now began to blister and bleed.

I just keep crying I dont know what to do - I've already started using the infracol but why isnt it working??

 

[Raggydoll]

First I will say - it's normal! Your baby has been warm and cozy inside you and now he is out in the big and scary world. You are his one constant. He wants to be with you. My LO was the same and I ended up making a little nest on the sofa and slept there with him in my arms for the first 3 weeks! The lack of sleep hits you hard but you do adjust. Others ways of coping could be:

- shifts with your partner
- safe cosleeping
- sling/moby wrap

Ollie began to go down into his cot at 3 weeks (we kept trying but without getting stressed) and by 6 weeks he would spend the night there after feeds.

There is a newborn tips thread which is good. Search for that.

Lastly sleep when you can during the day or even if it's not sleep then rest.

Are you BF or FF?

Thanks Peardrop - I am breast feeding at the moment but have come very close to bottle feeding so that I can use a dummy. It would break my heart to do this but I'm affraid I wont be able to cope. He will only feed off my left breast which has now began to blister and bleed.

I just keep crying I dont know what to do - I've already started using the infracol but why isnt it working??

Dentinox is really good. The thing with infacol is it takes a while to work and needs to be used constantly.

 

[SophiasMummy]

really try to get him to feed from your right breast aswell so that your left breast can have a rest else it will be double sore which isnt going to help you feeding and put cream on your nipple after every feed preferably one that doesnt have to be wiped off before you feed LO again. xxx

 

[A3my]

It sounds like normal newborn behaviour to me too and I know its really exhausting. You really need to get some sleep. Newborns always sleep better in the day so definately ignore anything else that needs doing and take a nap. Can your OH hold him for a while/take him out for a walk so that you can get some sleep? I know people talk about nipple/teat confusion but you can offer him a dummy and still breastfeed. ALternatively I used to let my LO suck my little finger to settle him. Get your hubby to get some Lansinoh cream for your left nipple and do keep offering the right breast too - has you milk come in? it will get much easier when it does. You're doing a brilliant job breastfeeding him, I promise things will get better xxxxxx

 

[lindsayryan]

Bless you its so hard at the beginning, and it sounds like your LO is exactly like mine was....He didnt sleep more than 1 -2 hours until he was around 6 weeks and there was plenty of nights where there was no sleep at all but there is light at the end of the tunnel as he has slept through for the last 2 months.

Firstly id say try to sleep when he does at first i didnt do this lasted about a week and a half and i soon learnt i had to because OH couldnt help in early days as every time he was awake he would want to be fed! My LO would only feed off my right boob and would get into a right state every time i tried to feed him on left so i know how hard that is and how painful it gets, just keep trying and eventually he will get it! I used to feed him off the right first and then try and switch him so he wasnt stressed because of hunger....also expressed so didnt loose supply. It is too early to even attempt a routine IMO so i would just let your baby lead you, feed on demand and let him decide when he is going to sleep I had to co-sleep at the beginning as it was literally the only way i could get 10 mins so do it if you feel comfortable, i was one of them people who said i will never co-sleep blah blah blah....soon changed believe me! I slept on the couch and in bed with him (still do for the odd hour) When Leo got to about 6 weeks i started doing a bedtime routine with him and made the day times noisy and started putting him in his basket when fast asleep and found he started to sleep for about 5 hours which was heaven (not that i slept for that long as always checking him....still am now but even 2 hours sleep is like heaven in the early days) I just kept up with the routine and now he goes down whether asleep or awake and will stay there all night. Unfortunately tho had to start FF at 9 weeks as he stopped gaining weight and thats when the massive change happened started to sleep for 8 hours instantly

It will get easier, and you will get to sleep again! Good luck, oh and with the dummy my HV said it is fine to give one after 3 weeks of BF so did and that worked a treat! so hand in there a couple more weeks xx

 

[henny]

My lo had a dummy within 2 days of being born and I breast feed him until he was 1yr and 3days, his choice to stop. He didn't get nipple confusion and it was a way of seeing if he was hungry or just sucking for comfort.
it does get easier

 

[Mum2BeJodi]

Don't worry honey I was the same. It didn't start to get better for me until about 3 weeks later. I used infacol every time she fed, but sometimes she cried because she was hungry and I didn't know she wasnt getting enough milk. Babies are use to being all snuggled up inside ur belly and when they come out in the world its scary for them. My LO wanted to sleep in our arms all the time. I thought I was goin to go crazy as I hadn't got any sleep for weeks. Sleep when the baby sleeps!! Try swaddling him, but my LO didn't like it and screamed when her arms were held down by the blanket. Most babies do so it's worth a try. Make sure you take care of yourself as well. As hubby for some help while you go get some sleep. If you need someone to chat to feel free to msg me anytime. xx

It does get better though.... it just takes a while to get the hang of things. xx

 

[New Mrs W]

Welcome and congratulations on the safe arrival of Samson! I too had a horrendously long labour with no real sleep for about 3 days when Frankie finally arrived, so I understand how tired you must be

It does get easier, and I think a few people have said it already but it is such early days yet, try not to get too bogged down with things being difficult because it all changes so quickly. You will soon recognise his different cries and what they mean.

With regards to him crying, do you think he could still be hungry? I can remember when Frankie was so young I would feed him and about half an hour later he would be crying again and I thought he couldn't possibly be hungry but as soon as I offered the breast he was straight on and feeding. Maybe he wants more food? You could try that? Also, with it being such a long labour, your baby might not be feeling too amazing at the moment either, he has been through a lot after all!

If you are still worried about him tell your MW and ask her what she thinks. I remember calling my HV and she came down and spent a couple of hours with her so she could see how he was feeding and napping etc. Really helped me.

It sounds like you're doing a great job though, keep up the good work xx

 

[happigail]

I'm sorry to tell you, but that sounds pretty normal for a newborn.

The best thing you can do is take turns as much as you can. It's easy for your hubby to get a nap. For you, it needs careful timing. Straight after a good feed, send hubby and baby out for a walk, and have a nap then. You'll have a much better chance of sleeping if there are no distant baby noises!

It will get better, but it takes some time and practise.

THIS ^.

It will get better....

Also try establishing night and day, it wont help right away, but will help you hugely in a short while, at night keep it dark, quiet and put in specific night time only clothes, Sampson will learn in time that dark is boring and start to sleep in that time slot. Sorry this doesn't help you now, but it will.

 

[kiri]

what i found best to get my lil one to sleep is get a blanket wrap him real tight not to tight i think its a real comfort for them..i used a dummy to and im brestfeeding he does not need it all the time only a few times a day i think 2 thats a comfort hope this helps good luck

 

[Peardrop]

You've had some great advice. Sorry I reread your original post and noticed that you are BF. BF is not natural and easy! It's a shock to find that out. I was in agony. It's your breasts getting used to being used. Get an expert to check your babies latch etc. Use Lansinoh cream. It's a lifesaver and a MUST. I was advised to rest a side for 24 hours if it became too sore but it was very important to express. It might be a little early for you to do this which is why the latch check and Lansinoh is vital as it might be all you need to feel more comfortable. It is normal though.

Also it is instinctive for a baby to be near it's Mum for the first few weeks and to feed fairly constantly as this helps the milk to come in fully and to regulate it. Whenever possible allow your baby to feed (pain permitting) and to hold (which he wants anyway).

My OH and I watched 7 series of the American TV programme Entourage in the first 3 weeks with Ollie in my arms. Looking back it was a lovely way to spend an evening. I recommend!

Ollie had a dummy from 3 days old, given by a midwife. I think nipple confusion is fairly rare. (could be wrong but I think so).

You are doing brilliantly. It's a shock but you will be a pro in just a week or two. Good luck.

PS Love your LO's name. My maiden name was Samson.