Please help us

[MissBroody]

This sounds like my time when H was first born. I was in hospital 2 nights and didn't get a wink of sleep, then gave birth and had no sleep, then the first night home he cried allll night and most of the night after for nights after that! BUT this is a phase and it will pass and get easier I promise!!! Nap when he does - ask your partner to take him so you can rest. If people visit and hes asleep, tell them you're making the most of it and going for a nap! It's not rude of you - its rude of them! I loathed having tons of visitors, especially when they stayed whilst LO napped! It made me even more exhausted! Or simply say no to visitors full stop until you're feeling more refreshed. Your LO may have colic and theres some things we tried which helped - infacol, woodwards gripe water on his dummy (are you using a dummy btw?) swaddling, drops of lavendar oil on a cotton ball in his crib, music playing quietly, feeding him in very low lit rooms at night...
Chin up, this doesn't last forever
xxxx

 

[Mum2BeJodi]

Yea forgot to say... give LO dummy if he'll take it. My LO had hers from day 3 too. There was no confusion between dummy and breast for her. Just watch though cuz I was BF for over 3 weeks then LO started to lose weight. I thought all her crying was due to the fact that she had wind so I gave her a dummy to calm her, but inface she was hungry. We all learn things and being a new mummy you learn everyday. *hugs*

 

[Bee26]

Ahhh hun, I dont miss those days! But reassured, its completely normal. I remember sitting there early hours one morning, hving had about an hour and a half sleep in 3 days, thinking "oh my god"...but it will get better - keep going, your doing brill xxxx

 

[elephant29]

I remember reading replies to posts in the early days where people would say 'it gets easier...sleep when baby sleeps' etc. It used to wind me up because I was sooo tired and didnt believe I would ever sleep again! So at the risk of winding you up, it does get sooo much easier, and really quickly as well. I am only 3 mths down the line and already the heady newborn days are a bit of a blur!

Ok. You can give a BF baby a dummy. Aria has always had a dummy. Fair enough the first few weeks she would often refuse it but after a while it worked wonders, and still does!! I believe nipple confusion comes from a bottle moreso thatn a dummy (and even then nipple confusion is very rare).

Aria would only feed from my right side. I was in so much pain and crying but if you dont want to give up BF please try and see this stage through. It is by far the hardest part and the rewards you will get when your both up and running will be amazing! Try expressing a little from your left boob before offering it to Samson. Sometimes if you are too full they cant latch on and just causes more upset. I know its controversial but I started expressing a bottle at 5 da. My Oh would take the 'nightshift' and give her the bottle and let me sleep. It saved my sanity but this is obiously your choice.

Also my LO has now been STTN for about 6 weeks and she is EBF (she no longer takes a bottle, her choice not mine). It is possible and hopefully its just around the corner for you as well!

I agree with pp who said a routine of getting LO used to night and day is really importnant. Aria now knows when its bedtime because we top and tail (not religiously if she is shattered), fresh babygrow and into her sleeping bag. I then take her into our bedroom, dimly lit, and feed her and she goes down. We started this routine at about 6 weeks but it took a couple of weeks to teek it.

During the day maybe try and get LO out in the fresh air/daylight. Get your OH to take her a long walk (BF babies can do this without needing a feed as my LO did. She would sleep for about 2/3 hours in her pram) this will let you try and sleep. Sometimes you think you wont be able to, but go in to you room, make it dark and 9/10 you will fal asleep.

Also at night when Aria would be fussing etc and I knew she wasnt hungry i'd 'buy' an hour from OH. So he would have the responsibility of LO for this hour and I could go into the room and try and relax. Sometimes it worked sometimes not (when she crys it's hard for me not to want to rush to her). OH also had the option to buy an hour from me. worked well for us.

Hope things start to get a bit easier.

xxx

 

[Lena]

Please try and get some rest. Like someone else mentioned, take it in shifts. You must be exhausted. Get some earplugs and a facemask and go lay down having DH bring you LO only when he needs feeding. Then when you get a few hours, do the same for DH. If LO is crying loads, have DH take him out in the car for a drive, put him in a sling, go for a walk (one at a time whilst the other one rests). We used to do this. DH would drive round in the car to get LO to sleep, go to starbucks and drink coffee til he woke and then come home. This would give me a few hours to rest. I really needed it the 1st few days because i was awake over 50 hours during my labour.

Please keep in mind as well, your horomones will be all over the place. It is natural to cry A LOT the 1st few weeks and its even natural to have horrid thoughts like 'what have i gotten myself into'. Theyre called the baby blues and they do pass.

 

[adamskatie]

It sounds like normal newborn behaviour to me too and I know its really exhausting. You really need to get some sleep. Newborns always sleep better in the day so definately ignore anything else that needs doing and take a nap. Can your OH hold him for a while/take him out for a walk so that you can get some sleep? I know people talk about nipple/teat confusion but you can offer him a dummy and still breastfeed. ALternatively I used to let my LO suck my little finger to settle him. Get your hubby to get some Lansinoh cream for your left nipple and do keep offering the right breast too - has you milk come in? it will get much easier when it does. You're doing a brilliant job breastfeeding him, I promise things will get better xxxxxx

Thank you - hubby and I are now doing 'shifts' so got a couple of hours before midnight then hubby took over until 2.30 and then I did 2.30 to 7.30. Managed to get 3 hours at 8 but thats it so far!
Samson is still not going down though - every time we put him in the basket he wakes and starts screaming...the in laws came over today (I wish everyone would just leave us alone so that we could bloody sleep!) and his mum told me Matt used to suffer with colic - surely if Samson does we would know by now? xx

 

[adamskatie]

Please try and get some rest. Like someone else mentioned, take it in shifts. You must be exhausted. Get some earplugs and a facemask and go lay down having DH bring you LO only when he needs feeding. Then when you get a few hours, do the same for DH. If LO is crying loads, have DH take him out in the car for a drive, put him in a sling, go for a walk (one at a time whilst the other one rests). We used to do this. DH would drive round in the car to get LO to sleep, go to starbucks and drink coffee til he woke and then come home. This would give me a few hours to rest. I really needed it the 1st few days because i was awake over 50 hours during my labour.

Please keep in mind as well, your horomones will be all over the place. It is natural to cry A LOT the 1st few weeks and its even natural to have horrid thoughts like 'what have i gotten myself into'. Theyre called the baby blues and they do pass.

Thank you - I was hating myself with thoughts like that. Its so easy to do though at 3am when you think the rest of the world are fast asleep and its only you awake and cant doze off because LO is on your chest (as he is now!) My hormones are indeed all over the shop - but my saving grace is you lot on here - clearly this is all normal. I just wish I could get him to go down xx

 

[adamskatie]

Don't worry honey I was the same. It didn't start to get better for me until about 3 weeks later. I used infacol every time she fed, but sometimes she cried because she was hungry and I didn't know she wasnt getting enough milk. Babies are use to being all snuggled up inside ur belly and when they come out in the world its scary for them. My LO wanted to sleep in our arms all the time. I thought I was goin to go crazy as I hadn't got any sleep for weeks. Sleep when the baby sleeps!! Try swaddling him, but my LO didn't like it and screamed when her arms were held down by the blanket. Most babies do so it's worth a try. Make sure you take care of yourself as well. As hubby for some help while you go get some sleep. If you need someone to chat to feel free to msg me anytime. xx

It does get better though.... it just takes a while to get the hang of things. xx

Thank you - hopefully when people stop coming round I can sleep when Samson sleeps - its just that obvioulsy when Hubby is at work I cant put Samson down, he just cries so I dont get any sleep

 

[hellohefalump]

*big hugs to you* I felt quite emotional reading your post! Like everyone is saying, it does get easier and some of the reason it's so difficult at the moment is that you're still very hormonal.

 

[adamskatie]

I remember reading replies to posts in the early days where people would say 'it gets easier...sleep when baby sleeps' etc. It used to wind me up because I was sooo tired and didnt believe I would ever sleep again! So at the risk of winding you up, it does get sooo much easier, and really quickly as well. I am only 3 mths down the line and already the heady newborn days are a bit of a blur!

Ok. You can give a BF baby a dummy. Aria has always had a dummy. Fair enough the first few weeks she would often refuse it but after a while it worked wonders, and still does!! I believe nipple confusion comes from a bottle moreso thatn a dummy (and even then nipple confusion is very rare).

Aria would only feed from my right side. I was in so much pain and crying but if you dont want to give up BF please try and see this stage through. It is by far the hardest part and the rewards you will get when your both up and running will be amazing! Try expressing a little from your left boob before offering it to Samson. Sometimes if you are too full they cant latch on and just causes more upset. I know its controversial but I started expressing a bottle at 5 da. My Oh would take the 'nightshift' and give her the bottle and let me sleep. It saved my sanity but this is obiously your choice.

Also my LO has now been STTN for about 6 weeks and she is EBF (she no longer takes a bottle, her choice not mine). It is possible and hopefully its just around the corner for you as well!

I agree with pp who said a routine of getting LO used to night and day is really importnant. Aria now knows when its bedtime because we top and tail (not religiously if she is shattered), fresh babygrow and into her sleeping bag. I then take her into our bedroom, dimly lit, and feed her and she goes down. We started this routine at about 6 weeks but it took a couple of weeks to teek it.

During the day maybe try and get LO out in the fresh air/daylight. Get your OH to take her a long walk (BF babies can do this without needing a feed as my LO did. She would sleep for about 2/3 hours in her pram) this will let you try and sleep. Sometimes you think you wont be able to, but go in to you room, make it dark and 9/10 you will fal asleep.

Also at night when Aria would be fussing etc and I knew she wasnt hungry i'd 'buy' an hour from OH. So he would have the responsibility of LO for this hour and I could go into the room and try and relax. Sometimes it worked sometimes not (when she crys it's hard for me not to want to rush to her). OH also had the option to buy an hour from me. worked well for us.

Hope things start to get a bit easier.

xxx

Thank you for your reply, all these replies give me hope. I didnt realise you could use a dummy whilst breast feeding so I will probably give that a go tomorrow when I attempt to put him down during the day.
I havent been out of the house since we got home from hospital - I did mention to hubby that maybe we should take him out in the pram for a walk - do you not think its too cold for him though?
I think I'm going to have to try expressing anyway, my breasts are so swollen and rock hard. Do you think my milk has come in? How would I know?
ps what does STTN stand for please?

xx

 

[adamskatie]

It sounds like normal newborn behaviour to me too and I know its really exhausting. You really need to get some sleep. Newborns always sleep better in the day so definately ignore anything else that needs doing and take a nap. Can your OH hold him for a while/take him out for a walk so that you can get some sleep? I know people talk about nipple/teat confusion but you can offer him a dummy and still breastfeed. ALternatively I used to let my LO suck my little finger to settle him. Get your hubby to get some Lansinoh cream for your left nipple and do keep offering the right breast too - has you milk come in? it will get much easier when it does. You're doing a brilliant job breastfeeding him, I promise things will get better xxxxxx

thank you for your reply - I think I will start to introduce a dummy.
My breasts are very swollen and rock hard - how do I know if my milk has come in? x

 

[A3my]

It sounds like normal newborn behaviour to me too and I know its really exhausting. You really need to get some sleep. Newborns always sleep better in the day so definately ignore anything else that needs doing and take a nap. Can your OH hold him for a while/take him out for a walk so that you can get some sleep? I know people talk about nipple/teat confusion but you can offer him a dummy and still breastfeed. ALternatively I used to let my LO suck my little finger to settle him. Get your hubby to get some Lansinoh cream for your left nipple and do keep offering the right breast too - has you milk come in? it will get much easier when it does. You're doing a brilliant job breastfeeding him, I promise things will get better xxxxxx

Thank you - hubby and I are now doing 'shifts' so got a couple of hours before midnight then hubby took over until 2.30 and then I did 2.30 to 7.30. Managed to get 3 hours at 8 but thats it so far!
Samson is still not going down though - every time we put him in the basket he wakes and starts screaming...the in laws came over today (I wish everyone would just leave us alone so that we could bloody sleep!) and his mum told me Matt used to suffer with colic - surely if Samson does we would know by now? xx

It could be colic but it could just be that he's getting used to being out in the big wide world and missing the comfort of being in you could you ask people to visit in a week or so to give you a break and let you concentrate on getting through this? Visitors mean well but they always seem to come at the wrong time I read in one of your other posts you wondered about getting out for a walk, I think thats a great idea, even if its a 10 min stroll just wrap samson up well and keep a hat on him as they lose most heat through their heads. Getting out of the house really helps. Its great you are managing this as a team with your hubby, it makes all the difference. Stick with it, breastfeeding is so rewarding

 

[A3my]

It sounds like normal newborn behaviour to me too and I know its really exhausting. You really need to get some sleep. Newborns always sleep better in the day so definately ignore anything else that needs doing and take a nap. Can your OH hold him for a while/take him out for a walk so that you can get some sleep? I know people talk about nipple/teat confusion but you can offer him a dummy and still breastfeed. ALternatively I used to let my LO suck my little finger to settle him. Get your hubby to get some Lansinoh cream for your left nipple and do keep offering the right breast too - has you milk come in? it will get much easier when it does. You're doing a brilliant job breastfeeding him, I promise things will get better xxxxxx

thank you for your reply - I think I will start to introduce a dummy.
My breasts are very swollen and rock hard - how do I know if my milk has come in? x

Thats your milk thats great, things will start to ease up. My sister BF her son and used a dummy from 3 days, she had extremely sore nipples and it meant they had a break between feeds. It never affected her BF xx

 

[Sam9kids]

Keep going hunni you are doing great xxxx

 

[adamskatie]

My lo had a dummy within 2 days of being born and I breast feed him until he was 1yr and 3days, his choice to stop. He didn't get nipple confusion and it was a way of seeing if he was hungry or just sucking for comfort.
it does get easier

i may start introducing the dummy then if he wont o down in his basket - could be the answer xx

 

[adamskatie]

It sounds like normal newborn behaviour to me too and I know its really exhausting. You really need to get some sleep. Newborns always sleep better in the day so definately ignore anything else that needs doing and take a nap. Can your OH hold him for a while/take him out for a walk so that you can get some sleep? I know people talk about nipple/teat confusion but you can offer him a dummy and still breastfeed. ALternatively I used to let my LO suck my little finger to settle him. Get your hubby to get some Lansinoh cream for your left nipple and do keep offering the right breast too - has you milk come in? it will get much easier when it does. You're doing a brilliant job breastfeeding him, I promise things will get better xxxxxx

Thank you - hubby and I are now doing 'shifts' so got a couple of hours before midnight then hubby took over until 2.30 and then I did 2.30 to 7.30. Managed to get 3 hours at 8 but thats it so far!
Samson is still not going down though - every time we put him in the basket he wakes and starts screaming...the in laws came over today (I wish everyone would just leave us alone so that we could bloody sleep!) and his mum told me Matt used to suffer with colic - surely if Samson does we would know by now? xx

It could be colic but it could just be that he's getting used to being out in the big wide world and missing the comfort of being in you could you ask people to visit in a week or so to give you a break and let you concentrate on getting through this? Visitors mean well but they always seem to come at the wrong time I read in one of your other posts you wondered about getting out for a walk, I think thats a great idea, even if its a 10 min stroll just wrap samson up well and keep a hat on him as they lose most heat through their heads. Getting out of the house really helps. Its great you are managing this as a team with your hubby, it makes all the difference. Stick with it, breastfeeding is so rewarding

thank you - i might suggest going asap.
My saving grace is indeed my husband, i am a very lucky woman - it just gets frustrating that he likes his sleep too much, although saying that he cant function without it! my shifts are twice as long as his! xx

 

[A3my]

thank you - i might suggest going asap.
My saving grace is indeed my husband, i am a very lucky woman - it just gets frustrating that he likes his sleep too much, although saying that he cant function without it! my shifts are twice as long as his! xx

Hy DH is the same but I couldnt have got through those early days without his help, you get so tired you can barely open your eyes dont you! I used to be so scared of falling asleep feeding him in the night in those early days so I used to feed and then get DH to wind

 

[adamskatie]

thank you - i might suggest going asap.
My saving grace is indeed my husband, i am a very lucky woman - it just gets frustrating that he likes his sleep too much, although saying that he cant function without it! my shifts are twice as long as his! xx

Hy DH is the same but I couldnt have got through those early days without his help, you get so tired you can barely open your eyes dont you! I used to be so scared of falling asleep feeding him in the night in those early days so I used to feed and then get DH to wind

I know, I must look about 110! I'm sure its all worth it though, I just want to be a good mummy and wife. Hubby gets slightly anxsious when Samson starts to cry which also puts me on edgebut we are working as such a good team. I suppose its a heck of a shock to the system when there is only 2 of you before then a screaming baby comes into the equation xx

 

[A3my]

Awww, samson is a lucky boy! He has two fab parents I forgot just how much of a shock to the system those first weeks are - my daughters are 9 and 10. I definately aged about 50 years in a week

 

[adamskatie]

Awww, samson is a lucky boy! He has two fab parents I forgot just how much of a shock to the system those first weeks are - my daughters are 9 and 10. I definately aged about 50 years in a week

Thank you xxx