Please help!

[Neko]

If at all possible, take your DH with you. He can be there for support or celebration as needed.

 

[clownfish]

Ok. I told hubby about the scan last night. He got cross that I was going to keep it from him, but I said he couldn't get cross with me because I didn't keep it from him in the end!

Then I burst into tears. He gave me a massive hug and said we were one unit and that I wasn't allowed to shut him out. We go through this together he said.

knew there was a reason for marrying him.

Sadly doesn't change much this evening as he works at a hospital and doesn't get off til 8.30pm so I'll still be going on my own.

But he'll be waiting for me when I get home.

I dont mind going on my own.I can internalize pretty well and almost prefer the take the initial hit and deal with it my own, gives me head space to gather my thoughts without having to think of others that way. Then I can go straight home to hubby.

And if it's a Miracle and it's good news then hubby can come to the scan on the 25th as it'sat his hospital so he can just nip off on a break to join me.

Now I just have to get through the day!!!!!

 

[debgreasby]

Will be thinking of you hunni x

 

[Pippasdvision]

I am really glad you told him and that he took it so well. Sometimes we forget why we have partners/husbands. Clownfish I will be praying for you all day and you and your family are in our (mine and my husbands) thoughts. I hope it all goes well for you do let us know.

 

[Beadette]

Clownfish - I hope with everything that things are ok! And I'm glad you told your hubby! Xxxx

 

[bernina]

Thinking of you today and hoping for some very good news!!!

 

[camishantel]

I am thinking of you hun

 

[clownfish]

Ok guys...

Its not great news...

but its not the worst...


We are still in limbo.. because they found a faint heartbeat... but the featus hasnt grown.. infact she measured it smaller than the scan a week ago.. 0.36

so she says although we have a chance cos there is a HB, although its faint... but its very slim because sticky doesnt seem to be growing...

so somehow it hasnt grown but has gained some kind of heartbeat... but a very faint one.


so where there's life theres hope? Or its just fading away and needs to be let go?

 

[Pippasdvision]

Bloody Nora! sorry for the language. Could it be that the measurement was wrong? I am so sorry you are still being pulled from pillar to post. Did the sonographer make any sensible suggestions?

 

[bernina]

How very frustrating, I am so sorry. I know at this point you just want a definitive answer and to get on with things. But a heartbeat is a heartbeat, and it couldn't be there if there wasn't life pumping through your baby. Yes there is a chance it's too weak and can't make it, but there is an equal chance that it will keep growing and thrive. My SIL had a similar thing happen and was told that the odds of the baby making it were 50/50.

I have also read that these early scans are nearly imposible to measure, the baby is just too small and depending on if you're looking at it lengthwise or head on, the measurements could totally change.

What are your next steps?

 

[clownfish]

Bloody Nora! sorry for the language. Could it be that the measurement was wrong? I am so sorry you are still being pulled from pillar to post. Did the sonographer make any sensible suggestions?

my favourite phrase...

're-scan in a week'

 

[clownfish]

What are your next steps?

No next steps...


Just hang in til Wedneday. I did what i could to help... it didnt work.. so now we have to find the strength to wait it out..

nought more we can do.

 

[camishantel]

sorry about your appointment today... it sounds like what happened to me in september... I hope it turns out differently for you hun but I am here if you want to talk in september my baby had a hb started very faint but wasn't growing then hb went up and had a little growth then hb stopped but dr said could have went either way as easy for measurements to be off so hopefully wed brings you the news you need and out of limbo as I know that is the worst

 

[Amos2009]

Clownfish- so sorry you are having to go through this. Sometimes I wish it were a yes or no, not all this in between and limbo.
Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you.

 

[clownfish]

Thanks guys.

Moment of amusement through the tears last night...

They gave us a scan of sticky .. Bit odd in the circumstances but I guess you paid for it, so you gets it.

So brought it home and showed it to hubby. He looked at me and asked what we were going to do with it, I shrugged, eyes full of tears.

But as he looked down at it again he smiled and looked up at me again, and u could read what he was thinking.

We both giggled and I said, 'it's definitely got your nose,' hee hee. He then went on to discribe this squiggle as a pound sign or s map of the UK!

Nice light moment for those few minutes.

Last miscarriage it was difficult to be with weach other ad my Bro had had an horrific bike accident a few days prior and was in intensive care in a coma with his head smashed in, two broken legs, two broken arms, smashed ribs and lots of other problems. I mc'd a few days later so basically just Mc'd in intensive care as I refused to leave his side.

At least this time hubby and I are together and we feel very close at the moment. It's a good feeling in amongst all the bad stuff.

Thinking of getting signed off for a week as work is pretty high pressured and I'm just on the verge of tears all day, not sleeping/eating well and just feel very close to losing it. My fear is I've wind up losing it infront of some mega CEO and cause alot of damage.

Will talk to boss again this morning.

Hope everyone has a good day today. Nearly the weekend. X

 

[fluffyblue]

Hunni i dont know if it helps but my consultant got my growth measurements wrong too, I had had a scan on the Monday and that was bang on for dates etc, but when the other consultant scanned me a week later she put me back 5mm and at that stage (was about 6/7weeks) it made a hell of a difference, so she scanned me again on a different machine and ended up putting me ahead two days, she then got quite angry with herself and blurted, "i hate internal scans, everythings squashed together, you dont get to see a proper angle etc and I wish we didnt have to do this to women in your situation"

I got some comfort from that because she is a uk leading miscarriage specialist who realises that giving us this information in our fragile state is very "mindbending" as I call it.

It wasnt until I had an abdominal scan that I felt comfortable with growth etc.

I had 5 early internal scans so I do know how you are feeling and unfortunately it is a waiting game

x

 

[Pippasdvision]

Bit of a two edged sword that do you have lots of stuff you can fill your day with if you are not in work? I found it worse sitting at home waiting for things to happen as I did not have anything to occupy my mind. I do agree that something high pressued is not the right thing to be doing either.

 

[clownfish]

scan day again tomorrow... that'll be scan 5 in total so far...

found a worse senario than losing it through MC or MMC....

'slow fetal growth rate'... (IUGR)


I know we cant talk about the 'A' word on here, but i swear i will never find the strength to do that even if the doctors tell me i have to do to growth/deformity problems.

I have no idea where i would even begin to get that kind of energy from.


I'm begging life that whatever the outcomes are, i can cope with it.. but PLEASE dont ask me to choose to do do that. I tried to sort of bring it up with DH and the thought had clearly already occurred to him (why hadnt it occurred to me before???) but he just said, 'don't' because he couldnt bare to talk of it either..

I cant believe i found a path darker than a MC/ MMC... i didnt think that was possible..


I just have to hope like hell we dont end up there...


Needing some serious karma payback/good luck tomorrow. We need good growth and a strong heart beat, we deserve this.. i know we do. We are good people.

 

[debgreasby]

We all have amazing strength that we never thought possible.

 

[clownfish]

We all have amazing strength that we never thought possible.