Please help!

[fluffyblue]

Hi hun thats why they have a "dating scan" apparently its so hard to measure as Deb says a "splodge" when its so tiny. All things affect it like bowels, full bladder etc - u could also have an anterior uterus which is even harder to date.

When I was 4w 3d ish, I was misdiagnosed with an ectopic had surgery booked - HCG came back doubled they rescanned me 12 hours later and saw the sac and yolk sac only. They rescanned me a week later, I had a fetal pole, the week later a HB. It took two weeks to get a HB. Also I have had about 4 early scans (between 4-9 weeks) and on 1 of them I measured something like 33mm and the following week I measured 25mm because they simply could not get it right thats why they dont like scannning to often, believe you me, I hated it too !!

Also since my LMP and knowing my exact dates my beanie has grown ive been put forward 8 days now !!

So as you can see nothing is straight forward OR black and white in early pregnancy !!




I know its so hard and I really really feel for you but you need to try and keep positive.

 

[clownfish]

i'll try...

i've had a nice bath and am in dressing gown and slippers...


and i'm gonna go wake DH up as he's fallen asleep on the sofa and settle down to watch some TV together..

next mission impossible.... reach the next 10 day scan!


Thanks guys... sorry for being such a negative bug... just really tough.


On to tomorrow.

 

[Pippasdvision]

Dont worry about being a little negative it is only natural. Be as strong as you can and we are all here to help u through any way we can.

 

[debgreasby]

We're all here for you

 

[bernina]

Don't ever feel bad for feeling down or negative. Every single woman feels that way at some time during their pregnancy, and most probably feel it a lot more than once! We're all here for each other

 

[Pippasdvision]

Hay clownfish how are you doing?

 

[clownfish]

suffering tbh.. but trying not to post on here about because i dont like bringing you all down.

I've come down with a horrid cold, and cant take anything proper for it 'just in case' ...

think i picked it up from all the comings and goings to Dr's offices and hospital trips...

had a weird brown thing when i wiped today, like a single clot, but brown... surrounded by nothing... just on its own...

Also realised the stupid receptionist booked me in for the 25th... thats 12 days from the last one..

so i'm on 10 days from now, but i've lost all hope i'm afraid.

I'm sure its a MMC.. 5.5 weeks, exactly the same as last time.


Sorry guys, i know you want me to be all positive but i feel like hell, and i cant cope any more.


Just want it over.


Our time will come, but realistically... this isnt it. Spotting, low rising HCG, 5.5 when i should be 6.5 and no heartbeat...

there isnt gonna be a happy ending here. I'm sure of it.



Think i'll stay quiet for a few days, and just update you guys if i MC or after the scan results come back.

You dont need me bringing you all down when you all have healthy pregnancies and wonderful heartbeats.


love and good wishes to you all. x

 

[roonsma]

Bless you sweetheart were all here for you, if you want to post feel free, many of us have been through similar situations, you do what's right for you Hun xx

 

[camishantel]

oh hun that is what we are here for... I have been exactly were you are and completely understand... but don't not post because you are afraid of bringing us down as it is nice to have a outlet

 

[bernina]

I totally agree with Cami. This is exactly what this forum is for, especially the Pregnancy after Loss section. We've all been there before and we can handle it.

For what it's worth, I felt exactly the same way you did, honest. I was ready for the u/s to be done and over with so I could stop my progesterone and complete my mc. I just knew nothing was living in me, especially with all the brown sludge coming out. I couldn't fathom how all this stuff that looked like death was coming out and there could still be something alive in there.

Miracles do happen, sometimes when we least expect them.

Thinking of you!!

 

[Pippasdvision]

We dont want you to post and be postivie love. We just want you to be okay, whether that is with a viable pregnancy or not. My heart goes out to you for the situation you are in as I went through something similar that did not end well (though 6 years ago) and I remember how I could not grieve coz I didnt know one way or the other. One min I would find some hope the next I would fell like my world was ending, then I would accept the enevitable and finally find a glimmer of hope again. We just want you to know that we are all here for you. you are not burdening us. This is called a community for a reason, communities stick together and see eachother through the difficult times.

 

[clownfish]

You are all such lovely ladies it's quite incredible. Even the people in my life don't seem to understand like you guys do. Other than my husband everyone is managing to say the wrong thing, even if they say it with care.

I've booked a private scan for Thursday evening. £75 seems alot to be told bad news, but then again £75 seems like nothing to pay to re-gain some sanity in my life.

Trying to function like this is near impossible, and heading into week 3 of this I cannot hang in there any longer.

Thursday, 8pm, D day!

X

 

[bernina]

I'm so glad you went ahead and booked an earlier scan. I think the money will be very well spent, no matter the outcome. I'll be thinking of you and wishing you the very best at that scan.

 

[Pippasdvision]

I could not agree more. I know it sounds like a lot of money but this has been an awful rollercoaster for you and you now have the light at the end of the tunnel. Lots of virtual hugs coming your way. Lol I wish they made computers squishy and cuddly pointy edges get in the way somewhat.

 

[cindersmcphee]

Have been reading the thread and praying for good news for you. I had a miscarriage last month. Started spotting brown, had a scan and nothing there. HCG levels when taken had fallen to less than a 100 and then had full bleed. Dont give up hope loads of good signs that hcg high and that bleeding has stopped

 

[clownfish]

Hi Cinders, thanks so much for taking the time to read.

I have weirdly found some hope from somewhere. I'm not sure I like having hope because it's going to hurt all the more if it's bad news tomorrow, but I do feel alot calmer for now with some glimmer to hold on to.

Wish I could stop 'feeling' altogether though for a bit. Just 0 emotions right now would be helpful. Need to find the off switch for the next 36 hours til after the scan, then I don't mind what emotions come out.

hope everyone else is doing OK today. Xxx

 

[debgreasby]

Pleased you getting an earlier scan .. i can only imagine the emotional rollercoaster you are on.

 

[Beadette]

I hope the scan brings good news for you Hun xx

 

[clownfish]

Thanks guys..

I havent told DH about the private scan... not sure why... just for some reason want to face it on my own this time...

is that bad? Wondering if he's gonna get cross/hurt that i did it without telling him...

he's just been through so much and he thinks we're waiting for the scan next Wednesday, just dont want to send him on another rollarcoaster for the whole of tomorrow waiting for the scan...

maybe its just selfishness on my part.. just cant handle the stress of telling him, and him stressing even more, and it becoming a bigger and bigger deal...

guess i'm hoping against all the odds there is a HB and then i know he'll be so happy he wont be cross at me for sneaking off without telling him..

if it goes the other way then i will have made life alot harder for myself i think, but at least i will have shielded him for the pain of being told at the scan that it died.

Aggghh!

 

[Pippasdvision]

Have you someone to take with you? could oyu not tell him at the last min 8pm he shoudl be home from work.