Please read...BFP threads

[blueeyedgirl1]

Guys, I'm sorry but I'm going to put this out there...

There's a rule asking people not to post BFP threads in the TTC forums and I think this should apply even more to TTCAL.

It's upsetting for those of us struggling to get our BFPs to read about all you happy ladies. Whilst I know you must be over the moon, some of us are still really struggling with our losses and getting back on the TTC wagon.

I'm very happy for you all, but please stop rubbing it in my face.

I'm sure I'll get flamed for this, but it's making me not want to be part of the forums anymore and I think that's sad. This is the only place I had to talk about my loss and trying to move on.

 

[Niamh22]

sorry i meant no offence i put it on as i thought it would give hope that all ladies including myself who has been struggling took almost a yeat to concieve after first Mc to lose it again and then get a BFP so quickly i was happy and wanted to share the joy with ladies who have supported me. i will not come back for updates as wouldn't want to upset anyone further not sure if i can delete the thread but will try i thought that even though it is a TTC forum people would still be happy clearly i was wrong and i am sorry for being out of order

 

[blueeyedgirl1]

It's not just your thread Niamh, there's been several over the last few weeks.

 

[Niamh22]

I know but surely if you are TTC and people have supported you then you would want to tell them the good news as you have shared thoughts and feelings with them that you have not with anyone else. well that is my opinion i am sorry for your losses and how you are feeling but i thik perhaps as it is a TTC forum everyone here is the same and would want to share that news with the people here when it happens. as i said i willnot come back to update only to offer advice to people who i have been in the same situation as

 

[HollieQ]

I've noticed there's been loads, not just in here.. If you report the post to a mod (I have done a few times) they move it to the right section like - instantly! xxx

 

[blueeyedgirl1]

Actually not all of them are moved, I've reported a couple which never were moved.

BFP announcements have their own section of the forums, and are discussed more openly in the TWW section...

 

[Niamh22]

again of course they are openly discussed in the 2ww wait section it is what everyone is there for why wouldn't you tell them that it worked???? if you are WTT then i would say do not read the 2WW if you are not in it. perhaps i am out of line saying probably am as if you read what i have put in my thread apologising i am getting more confused and wound up by some of the comments. well wound up is the wrong thing but perhaps i will contact the administrator to have things cleared up

 

[iluvbump]

again of course they are openly discussed in the 2ww wait section it is what everyone is there for why wouldn't you tell them that it worked???? if you are WTT then i would say do not read the 2WW if you are not in it. perhaps i am out of line saying probably am as if you read what i have put in my thread apologising i am getting more confused and wound up by some of the comments. well wound up is the wrong thing but perhaps i will contact the administrator to have things cleared up

Personally i had no problem with u sharing your good news.
Yes it is sad that we lost a baby and some have been TTC for so long and of course people don't want to see that someone has conceived while they are still trying. But i still believe congrats are in order im sure that the day any of us conceive again we would love to share the news too.

I just think okay maybe Niamh shouldn't of posted that in TTC after loss but she only wanted to share her great news and i think she just hoped that people would congratulate her.
xxxx

 

[Niamh22]

that is what i mean there are lots out there who are trying to concieve a xmas baby and have a thread on it i am now getting the impression that for those who succeed they will not be able to update the thread and that is were my confusion lies

 

[iluvbump]

Well hun i will just keep a look out for your posts on First trimester. i cannot wait to see if ur little bean sticks this time and have my fingers and toes x for you!.
xxx

 

[Niamh22]

thank you x

 

[iluvbump]

No prob hun.
Good luck.

x

 

[blueeyedgirl1]

Please see link.
"The only place where we allow it to be mentioned is in existing 2WW threads. This rule is in effect in the rest of the TTC area (apart from the BFP Anouncements)."

Niamh, I'm not personally attacking you, so please stop acting like I am. It's not all about you.

 

[Niamh22]

Well it does seem like u are u moved my post started this thread after my announcement. that seems like an attack on me. only my oh knows and i told here for support and congrats u ruined it by making me wrong for doing so. so i have taken it personally

 

[Miss_C]

I posted this elsewhere and feel it is relevant here as well.

can I just say that forums such as this have helped me on my ttc over 40 journey, and been a massive help when that journey ended a couple of weeks ago. I used to be on another forum and had been there for the entire 12 months before I got my BFP. Everyone in the group of over 40 with a toddler ttc#2 were brilliant, every minth when we got our BFN's every sent cyber hugs and chocolate and you knew that if you were feeling crappy about yet another negative these women would understand. I spoke to these women for an entire year and got my BFP a couple fo weeks befre Christmas we were all ecstatic. We all posted Merry Christmas wishes to each other on Christmas day. I was feeling rotten, vomitting everywhere, watermelon boobs already and really dsore and generally feeling very very very crappy and it was shattering my romantic illusions of sitting around the christmas tree with the best pressie already growing inside me - wouldn't have changed a thing etc etc but wished everyone was feeling the same way.

I got shot down in flames for "complaining" and how insensitive I was and inconsiderate when they all wished they were looking at a bfp on christmas day. WTF - I had known these women for a year and wasn't looking for sympathy, just sharing the irony of the journey.

In my book every single BFP I read is a bloody happy story and should be shouted from the rooftops anywhere, yes it hurts when you are still ttc but we are all here after a loss and hoping an praying for the same thing and in my opinion it is really really really selfish to rain on someone elses parade at what will be the happiest and most scariest time in their life. A time when they are gonna need the support a BFP woo hoo but what if I lose it again, we all have the same fears etc etc. If you are that selfish and wrapped up in your own little world then being a parent should be seriously thought about. You have to be the most totally UNSELFISH person on the planet to be a great parent.

If I have offended anyone I am sorry for causing further pain but don't take back anything.

 

[mummyk2b]

can i clarify something? (when i first joined it was after a BFP so i just introduced myself in first trimester so i don't know how this all works).

i will now post in ttcal to offer and get support and hope to 'get to know' other people in the same situation, offer advice, etc. if i am lucky enough to get a bfp, do i just disappear? i'm not suggesting i make a big song and dance about a bfp when i get one (although i agree that seeing 'good news stories' gives me hope, so i like to see them!) but do i not even say, "i won't be on here anymore as i've moved into first trimester?" it just feels cold.

i'm not asking this to cause a debate, i just feel as though either way can be taken as offensive and i don't want to upset anyone.

baby dust to all.

xx

 

[HollieQ]

can i clarify something? (when i first joined it was after a BFP so i just introduced myself in first trimester so i don't know how this all works).

i will now post in ttcal to offer and get support and hope to 'get to know' other people in the same situation, offer advice, etc. if i am lucky enough to get a bfp, do i just disappear? i'm not suggesting i make a big song and dance about a bfp when i get one (although i agree that seeing 'good news stories' gives me hope, so i like to see them!) but do i not even say, "i won't be on here anymore as i've moved into first trimester?" it just feels cold.

i'm not asking this to cause a debate, i just feel as though either way can be taken as offensive and i don't want to upset anyone.

baby dust to all.

xx

No, you're just not allowed to make a thread solely for announcing your bfp in TTC. But of course you can mention it on any group discussion thread/other thread where you're already involved with, or relevant threads, for eg if you got a bfp using the cbfm

I like seeing bfps, but that's just the way the rules are, maybe they'll change...because there seems a lot of us who love the bfp announcements! xx

 

[blueeyedgirl1]

Well it does seem like u are u moved my post started this thread after my announcement. that seems like an attack on me. only my oh knows and i told here for support and congrats u ruined it by making me wrong for doing so. so i have taken it personally

I'm not able to move posts, Niamh. I'm not an administrator.

Seeing as I'm the only one who feels this way (although I think the rules are there for a reason) I'll drop it. I was personally looking for a supportive forum where BFPs weren't rubbed in my face but perhaps BnB isn't that place.

 

[Niamh22]

I think it is the place for you but while yyou are WTT perhaps a TTC forum is not the best and miscarriage support may be more appropriate just a suggestion if it is upsetting this much for you, as in TTC people will update to say they have a BFP and that is likely to be quite often. x

 

[nattys]

I'd be shouting my BFP from the rooftop

Congrats