Plus size ladies?

[Kas75]

Im in the same boat as some of you and have had a terrible time with midwives and then a consultant who reduced me to tears with some very hurtful comments!
To start with the midwife could not care for me so now I have to have hospital based care because she didnt have a large cuff to take blood pressure and because they are a mobile unit and move around so the bed they use is not suitable for a larger lady. They have put me at high risk so had to see a consultant and I had to inform him that they request I have hospital care for my antenatal apts! The first time I went to see him he was very rude and a disgrace to the human race, I won't go into everything he said cos if the tears start to flow i'll be at it all day with these hormones lol I was 16 weeks pregnant and he asked if i'd had a scan and when I replied yes he asked if they found anything!! I was totally in shock and couldnt even respond, I was on my own and left in tears after more hurtful comments. My partner is fuming and wants me to report him but so far ive not had to see him again and i'd refuse too aswell. I can't enjoy this pregnancy as it is so really didnt need such hurtful and negative comments from someone who is paid to look after us as such! I'm 22 weeks now 23 on monday ive had no problems what so ever to this point. But still the things he said make me think something will go wrong and its a horrible feeling! I'm still taking things one day at a time, cant pick a name, havent bought anything at all as of yet. I'm disgusted that he has made me feel this way. I don't even wanna go back for my apts which I kno is silly and i'll have too but what a pig!

I hope nobody else ever feels this way at a time thats meant to be full of happiness, my lil girl moves around and I can feel her but she doesnt move everyday I cant wait for that as my mind will be reassured everyday then! Midwife reckons regular movements from about 24 weeks so not long now The midwives at the hospital ive seen since are much better I will say that.

It feels good to get it out cos apart from my partner ive not really told many people at least here I kno that some of u will understand exactly where im coming from.

Good luck ladies and lotsa love

Kas xxx

 

[Angharad87]

...when i had my first midwife appointment i told her i was worried and she said, if you weren't physically able to carry a child because of weight then you wouldnt be pregnant...

If only all midwives were this awesome. Sorry for your loss earlier this year though

 

[Mother Hen]

Don't ever let anyone feel bad about yourself. I've been lucky and everyone I have dealt with so far have been supportive and professional. I was ready for rude comments though! I have my speech ready for anyone who can't treat me with respect.

Nobody knows the path I have been down with my weight and how long it has taken me to get pregnant. I lost the weight 3 times over the last 10 years and I was never able to conceive. Well, I'm fat again and I am pregnant NOW and I'll be damned if someone is going to make me feel bad about it. We'd been trying for 10 years (5 years *seriously* trying) and this is when my body chose to cooperate.

I've not had any problems with my pregnancy! My midwife found the heartbeat in about 2 minutes at my 16 and 22 week appointments. The scans have been fine. Yes, the sonographer always puts in the notes that it was technically difficult due to my BMI, but I can tolerate that because I am sure it's true to some extent.

I'm usually the one that brings up my weight, and so far, I've been treated with respect and have usually come out feeling better. I think that's how it should be. Don't put up with anyone making you feel bad!

 

[Kas75]

I have PCOS aswell so its taken us 8 years to get to this point so totally understand, I do have a son whose 12 now we have been trying since he was 4! We had 2 miscarriges last year so of course have been very anxious this time around! As the weeks go on i'm trying to get my head around it. This is happening now and we could not be happier when she's here the icing really will be on the cake! And that consultant can eat his words!

 

[Cazlabump]

At my 12 week scan i had to go and see the doctor afterwards (some skinny young blonde thing) and she just went on and on and on about my weight ( I have a BMI of 35, but dont look *too* overweight) she was saying how there may be complications, i might not be allowed an epidural, will need extra scans, a glucose test. i was just a bit *woah* first pregnancy, i didnt feel MASSIVE yet i was being told how much harder labour and the pregnancy would be. Yeah cheers for that. Gah. Heres my 21week 3 days bump pic, do i honestly look massive to the point im going to have complications?! xx

 

[jools21]

I am terrified enough of childbirth as it is without being told how hard I am going to have it etc, these people have medical degrees and I truly think that there should be a compulsary module dedicated to bedside manner!

So glad I started this thread to know I am not alone!

 

[bumphenders]

At my 12 week scan i had to go and see the doctor afterwards (some skinny young blonde thing) and she just went on and on and on about my weight ( I have a BMI of 35, but dont look *too* overweight) she was saying how there may be complications, i might not be allowed an epidural, will need extra scans, a glucose test. i was just a bit *woah* first pregnancy, i didnt feel MASSIVE yet i was being told how much harder labour and the pregnancy would be. Yeah cheers for that. Gah. Heres my 21week 3 days bump pic, do i honestly look massive to the point im going to have complications?! xx

I think this is what they're going to tell me when I go, my BMI is 36! (I have changed my appointment 2 times because I really don't wanna go) I would rather my midwife tell me all the things this consultant person is going to tell me.

*sigh*

 

[Mother Hen]

My BMI is quite a bit higher than that and I've already met with the anaesthetist and I'm all good for an epidural. Try not to worry.

 

[bumphenders]

I don't think I want an Epi, but I just don't want someone who gets paid god knows how much money to sit their and look down their nose at me and tell me what I already know.

My midwife didn't really mention my weight, she just said it was normal for people with a higher BMI then 35 to be referred..Mine is 36 -_-

 

[Mother Hen]

For me, the consultant highly recommended that I get an epi because I am more likely to encounter difficulties and need either a C-section or an instrument delivery. With an epidural already in, I'm ready for anything I might need done. I can see the logic, so I am going with it. And yes, it is because of my weight, but he was very nice about it and I never felt judged.

 

[twinmomma]

I'm currently 240, 17 weeks pregnant with twins. Its been frustrating because I work with this cute little skinny girl who has a nice round bump and I just look more fat! My mother keeps wanting to take pictures of me every month but it just ends up embarrassing me. It is so frustrating! But really, when it comes down to it, I just want my babies to be healthy, thats what matters in the long run! We can lose the weight after our babies are here

 

[amyleigh89]

It's a joke. What do they really want us to do? Starve? Yes, we probes should have ben a healthy weight before we fell pregnant but shit happens. Making hurtful comments doesn't help.
I am 5 foot3 and have a BMI of 41. Makes me sad that I'm not going to be showing very soon and it's likely people will just think I've munched 1 too many mince pies this Christmas. (girl at work is thin and only 12 weeks and already has a lovely bump). But, at the end of the day we are still bloody gorgeous and however bad they make us feel... Our weight isn't really going to affect our pregnancies very much at all. We are as likely sto experience problems as a person with healthy weight.
Am tempted to admit the fact I had a bit of cake today, and 4 biscuits AND a pack of quavers next time I see my MW. I'm not going to make excuses for my weight anymore. I/we am/are what I/we am/are.
Also... In my head I am telling myself that my bubs will be kept doubly warm this winter! x

 

[amyleigh89]

OMG I have to go for a consultant apt in december. Please someone tell me they haven't had a bad experience.

I'm sorry he was a git to you xx

Im in the same boat as some of you and have had a terrible time with midwives and then a consultant who reduced me to tears with some very hurtful comments!
To start with the midwife could not care for me so now I have to have hospital based care because she didnt have a large cuff to take blood pressure and because they are a mobile unit and move around so the bed they use is not suitable for a larger lady. They have put me at high risk so had to see a consultant and I had to inform him that they request I have hospital care for my antenatal apts! The first time I went to see him he was very rude and a disgrace to the human race, I won't go into everything he said cos if the tears start to flow i'll be at it all day with these hormones lol I was 16 weeks pregnant and he asked if i'd had a scan and when I replied yes he asked if they found anything!! I was totally in shock and couldnt even respond, I was on my own and left in tears after more hurtful comments. My partner is fuming and wants me to report him but so far ive not had to see him again and i'd refuse too aswell. I can't enjoy this pregnancy as it is so really didnt need such hurtful and negative comments from someone who is paid to look after us as such! I'm 22 weeks now 23 on monday ive had no problems what so ever to this point. But still the things he said make me think something will go wrong and its a horrible feeling! I'm still taking things one day at a time, cant pick a name, havent bought anything at all as of yet. I'm disgusted that he has made me feel this way. I don't even wanna go back for my apts which I kno is silly and i'll have too but what a pig!

I hope nobody else ever feels this way at a time thats meant to be full of happiness, my lil girl moves around and I can feel her but she doesnt move everyday I cant wait for that as my mind will be reassured everyday then! Midwife reckons regular movements from about 24 weeks so not long now The midwives at the hospital ive seen since are much better I will say that.

It feels good to get it out cos apart from my partner ive not really told many people at least here I kno that some of u will understand exactly where im coming from.

Good luck ladies and lotsa love

Kas xxx

 

[emily3399]

Hi ladies i just wanted to share my experiences....i am on baby number 3 and after my 2nd baby ballooned to 22 stone my heaviest ever and got down to 16Stone so really didnt want to gain again but it crept back up to 16.10 before i concieved.

Now i am 25+5 and and pre pregnancy was 16stone 10lbs and am now 19.0stone dead on so have gained just over 2 stone already and im not even in the 3rd tri. I have worried about my weight non-stop the whole pregnancy it has drove me insane but i have finally accepted i am pregnant and can lose weight when baby is here.

I have the same 2 belly thing going on that some of you talk about the top is lovely and bumpified and looks ok in clothes but naked oh no different story flabby bit hanging at the bottom doesnt look attractive. Nontheless OH first felt baby move about 2 weeks ago and really feels more or less every movement now that i feel when hes having a feel anyway lol. I and he can also see baby wriggling and kicking its quite amazing. So for those of you who worry about been plus size and oh's seeing feeling baby wriggle dont worry it will come i promise

For those of you who have had problems with consultants midwives and sonographers.. i am very sorry you have come across the problems you have. It is shocking how they can treat people with such a lack of respect and it infuriates me. However i can only praise the medical team that are looking after me they have been great and have mentioned my weight but been very dignified about it, and for those who have been told you will have problems in delivery... well i have had 2 natural deliveries with no assisted deliveries and no complications... and infact the 2nd labour was only 15 mins from waters breaking at 5cm and my dd been born so to me its nonsense.

I add on my bump pic at 25 weeks and am very proud to do so

 

[chachacha]

I'm bloody miserable today. Went to my consultants appointment and have gained 7kg since week 11. They really made a massive fuss, despite the fact I don't have any issues caused by being overweight. But because I was in the obese category I was told not to gain any weight, and now I am getting lectured.

I don't pig out. I was going to the gym and losing weight before I fell pregnant. I haven't been able to go for the last few weeks due to pelvic pain. Other than starve myself, what do they expect me to do?

I'm so fed up of the consultants. I don't want scans and check ups every four weeks. I have so many appointments that it's driving me crazy. And my poor husband has to miss work to drive me because public transport round here is so terrible!

 

[VintageEnvy]

I still cant see kicks from the outside yet and OH can't feel anything at all so Im glad that you have been able to. Gosh I hope we can eventually its something that would just be wonderful because Im so scared Im not going to be able to.

 

[jules7521]

Well today's appt with the new OB was good and bad I guess. I had to switch ob's this past week because of the last one making horrendous comments..and much to my dismay this new guy well.. reminds me of Howard Stern as an OB. He had a filthy mouth and when i mean filthy, within the first 2 mins of our " conversation" the word f*ck, shit, damn and a few others came out. I just don't know anymore and I'm feeling really deflated. He did tell me however he will do whatever it takes to keep little one and myself as healthy as possible till delivery. But wow he uses shock therapy. My future mother in law smokes in the house.. I've tried talking to her and she has basically told me if I don't like it there is the door. So when the new doc walked in he smelled cigarette smoke on us and asked who smoked and we told him and his exact words were " well if she wants a f*cked up grandkid with health problems so be it" She has no intentions of not smoking around the baby when it's born either.
I am just feeling really deflated. Between these doctors being total jerks and now my OH's mom I just want to crawl into a hole. OH's mom wont acknowledge the baby with anything but resentment and unfortunately my OH and I have no where else to go right now so we are stuck here. She dotes on OH's oldest son and pays all his bills and speeding tickets and anything he wants ( he lives 5 states away) and when we tried to show her something we bought for the bean tonight she changed the subject.

At least one good thing came out of today though.. my high risk consultant did their nt results slightly different then many others here. I had a scan at 12 weeks and a blood draw then and another blood draw 2 days ago for the 16 week. They then combine all the results to give a better result then the 2 tests at 12 weeks. Bean came back negative for all chromosomal abnormalities..no downs,, no trisomy 18 no cerebral palsy etc..I am over the moon

Anyhow ty for letting me vent my OH and I are really happy this little one is coming even though it wasn't planned and we are both older ( i'm 37 and he's 45) and I cant wait to be a mom even in this hostile environment.

 

[jules7521]

how was everyone's weekend?

 

[bumphenders]

i've had an ok weekend, nothing really interesting happened.
How was your weekend?

 

[MrsRalphie]

Wow! Thank you ladies for sharing. It really helps knowing that I'm not alone in this. Sometimes I feel like im the only plus sized mommy out there. I've been really down on myself I've gained 16 lbs since becoming pregnant. Having lost 80 to get preggers! Thank you beautiful ladies! Well get thru this!