PND-my husband won't talk about it

[schoolteacher]

I told my husband about a month ago that I thought I had PND -well I'm not sure if its PND or 'normal' depression which Ive had before. Also my baby is 9 months old so if it is PND its delayed!
Anyway he wouldn't talk about it with me, he basically just pretended I never said it. Yesterday I tried to bring it up again but he said he didn't know what to say. I was having such a bad day i thought my head would explode. I ended up having to go out the house for a few hrs to calm down. My baby (bless him) was playing up and I just couldn't stand it any more. I feel like all we do is sit on the sofa night after night, in 10, 20 years time I fear we're still be sitting on the sofa rotting our lives away. It doesn't help that DH is 17 years older than me. He is making me feel much older than I am and I hate it.
So I just tried to talk to him again about it and he said 'he doesn't no what to say'. He got really cross and basically said along the lines of 'we have, an alright life...no ones died....' basically he doesn't understand depression at all. What can i do to make him understand and help me?
Thank-you.

 

[babyhopes2010]

what a ****!

so sorry he is being so awful
pnd is hard enough without having a non supportive husband. my husband didnt understand it so researched alot without me asking.

having pnd and not dealing with can be v dangerous.

i had severve pnd after my first didnt get help until 7 months. this time im already getting medical support as its way worse than last time

 

[iluvmyfamily]

It isn't that he's being awful. He just has NO clue what it's like to have a baby and have his hormones go all out of wack. It's normal for you to start thinking how your future will be, especially after having a baby. It's like once a baby comes along, reality really hits and you start panicking about the future and how things will be, if things will change and if so, will it be for the better or the worse. Your life does become limited, because there's only so much you can do with a baby around, but that doesn't last forever. It's only temporary and babies grow up very fast. I have 5 and even though my youngest is 3 weeks old, I know before I know it she'll be crawling, then running and talking and then she'll be in Preschool and Kindergarten. She won't be in diapers anymore so that will be one less thing to stress over when it comes to pottytraining and diapers. Once your baby is in school, that's when your freedom comes back somewhat and you can do more. I know it seems so far away but it really isn't. I look at my 5 yr old and 7 yr old today and I'm like "I can't believe they're already in Kindergarten and second grade!" I look back to their baby pictures and it just feels like the years flew by. It will always fly by. Truth is, you want time to slow down just so you can catch your breath. Just so that you can take your time planning out your lives together. Believe me. But it's definitely normal for you to feel like this. DH not listening or having much to say about it, is typical honestly. He has no idea what's going on in your mind and heart. I would write him a long letter explaining everything. Sometimes writing it down helps. Talking to him face to face isn't doing any good. Yes, no one has died and that's a blessing, but that doesn't mean you're not suffering. DH used to say "you don't have it THAT bad" when I would be depressed or angry with him. I hated those words because it had nothing to do with that. Everyone has their own problems and struggles. Somewhere out there someone is struggling harder than I am but that doesn't mean my feelings are miniscule. I always hated when people talked that way to me so I know how you feel 100%. I would write him a letter and take it from there. If he still doesn't get it, leave him alone and take care of yourself. Don't worry about him. Afterall, you're the only one who can help you. (hugs)