PND Support Thread

[mightyspu]

Marchbean and Hattie, sorry to read you are having a hard time.

Marchbean, you need to let your gp or councillor know how bad it has gotten. Could you write them a letter? It'll be hard to admit your feelings and harder to see them on paper, but you deserve to be getting the right course of treatment.

Hattie, try and take each day at a time. The big decision over access can be sorted when you are more able to cope with it. Do you know how long it takes for your meds to kick in? It could be that there is a while until you feel the benefit?

I hope things improve for both of you soon.

 

[Mrs G]

Hi everyone

I am not really sure if I belong on here as i have not talked about how I feel to anyone but I just needed to get this all out.

We were ttc for about 18months and then needed IVF. Luckily I got PG first time and had an easy pregnancy. I had to have an elective section cos dd was breech and not turning and I really feel this might be the root of all my feelings. A friend of mine said she struggled to bond with her babies after section and felt like they had just been delivered in a carrier bag!! I totally understand this now and I feel like I did nothing to bring her into the world.

I love her and please don't get me wrong I do everything I should for her, but I do question if I love her enough. She is a difficult sleeper, she doesn't settle til about 11 most nights and we are up 3 or 4 times in the night. A find myself getting really resentful to her. This morning she was sick straight after I changed her and I burst into tears.

I am starting to think someone was trying to tell me something when I couldn't get pg naturally and that in having her we made a big mistake. I know this is a terrible thing to say. We let her cry it out for 10 minutes last night and I felt nothing. How can it not upset me??

I just feel like I was not supposed to be a mother and that I am really not cut out for this job.

Sorry for the rant.

Kath
xx

 

[mightyspu]

I also had a section, I feel like a cheated somehow, like I got a bit tired and gave up. (after 23 hours of labour I had not dilated at all and was exhausted) you're not alone in the way you feel. And you do love your dd enough. You wouldn't be doing this if you didn't. do you have a sympathetic hv or gp you can talk to? They may have some ideas to help you feel better.

 

[akaash.]

Last night i woke up and as usual thinking about how bad i feel.. i have been diagnosed with pnd but just wont let myself believe its pnd making me feel like this .. anyway

when i woke up i dont know why but the last few months felt like a dream it felt like i had been dead for the last few months .. like i wasnt myself.. it was kindah the feeling you wake up after being drunk.. reality hits you..

I was soooo worried and upset didnt know what to do ... i looked at other half but didnt want to wake him as this has happened before .. i just felt like i had gone mad!! literally!! it was so bad .. didnt want to worry anyone so kept it to myself ..

started reading a pnd leaflet.. symptoms ect.. made me feel a little better but i just thought i cant go on .. just wanted to end my life!!

i have blamed so many things for making me feel like this .. but just wont accept that its me being anxcious ect..

Im taking AD's for 2 weeks now ..

Has anyone had anything similiar ..???!!
Is this me being anxcious ect or am i rigght have i gone mad ..!!!??

Sorry xx
Tarah xx

 

[dellnbump]

im really confused as to whats wrong with me i need help from some of you guys on here please as i have tryed calling my health visitor but had to leave a message as she isnt there at the moment.

firstly it all began a few weeks ago my little boy will be 3 weeks on saturday i totally love him millions. Firstly i have been suffering from really bad headaches since i gave birth i have been taking nurofen and that for them but they dont seem to be shifting. The first week when I was back home from the hospital i felt brilliant but now I feel awful my heads constantly sore which makes me not think straight i feel like all my thoughts are in my head its really weird to explain. I also have a weird feeling nervous feeling in my stomach all the time and i keep getting hot sweats which i think is related to anxiety but not completely sure. I cant get motivated to go out or get ready i just want to wake up sleep and do the same all day. Does anyone know whats wrong with me it's got really bad now and my head kills

 

[akaash.]

cant you call emergency doc ? sounds like pnd .. ive got it and its very annoyying i cant be bothered to get up in the morning just want to slouch constantly and have been crying all day

xx

 

[mightyspu]

im really confused as to whats wrong with me i need help from some of you guys on here please as i have tryed calling my health visitor but had to leave a message as she isnt there at the moment.

firstly it all began a few weeks ago my little boy will be 3 weeks on saturday i totally love him millions. Firstly i have been suffering from really bad headaches since i gave birth i have been taking nurofen and that for them but they dont seem to be shifting. The first week when I was back home from the hospital i felt brilliant but now I feel awful my heads constantly sore which makes me not think straight i feel like all my thoughts are in my head its really weird to explain. I also have a weird feeling nervous feeling in my stomach all the time and i keep getting hot sweats which i think is related to anxiety but not completely sure. I cant get motivated to go out or get ready i just want to wake up sleep and do the same all day. Does anyone know whats wrong with me it's got really bad now and my head kills

I'd say take it easy woman! you gave birth 3 weeks ago, give yourself a break! If you don't want to get up and go out, don't! Although I can recommend getting fresh air and seeing people, don't feel under pressure to be superwoman. Is there someone who can help with shopping/chores etc??

Don't forget your hormones are going into overdrive, so that might explain your headaches and night sweats. I had night sweats once my milk had come in and they stayed around for a couple of weeks. Chat to your GP and see if they have any hints. Hope you feel better soon.

 

[dellnbump]

im really confused as to whats wrong with me i need help from some of you guys on here please as i have tryed calling my health visitor but had to leave a message as she isnt there at the moment.

firstly it all began a few weeks ago my little boy will be 3 weeks on saturday i totally love him millions. Firstly i have been suffering from really bad headaches since i gave birth i have been taking nurofen and that for them but they dont seem to be shifting. The first week when I was back home from the hospital i felt brilliant but now I feel awful my heads constantly sore which makes me not think straight i feel like all my thoughts are in my head its really weird to explain. I also have a weird feeling nervous feeling in my stomach all the time and i keep getting hot sweats which i think is related to anxiety but not completely sure. I cant get motivated to go out or get ready i just want to wake up sleep and do the same all day. Does anyone know whats wrong with me it's got really bad now and my head kills

I'd say take it easy woman! you gave birth 3 weeks ago, give yourself a break! If you don't want to get up and go out, don't! Although I can recommend getting fresh air and seeing people, don't feel under pressure to be superwoman. Is there someone who can help with shopping/chores etc??

Don't forget your hormones are going into overdrive, so that might explain your headaches and night sweats. I had night sweats once my milk had come in and they stayed around for a couple of weeks. Chat to your GP and see if they have any hints. Hope you feel better soon.

thanks you have made me feel alolt better already as i feel so down its unreal

i was thinking the same its only been 3 weeks my hormones are still everywhere i need time for them to settle back down

i dont really have anyone to help as my mum doesnt keep very well and my boyfriends parents are from wales but i manage as my oh has the car he helps out alot. thankfully. im not sure if the way im feeling is related to this thread but i will give my health visitor a phone tomorrow and hopefully get a hold of her . thanks for the help xxxx

 

[mightyspu]

No worries, I hope your feelings pass, but if not, you're one step ahead of the game. sorry that there is no one close by. Do you have sure start centres in Scotland? I find mine very useful, it puts me in touch with other mums. Or you could try Netmums to see if there is something in your area.

 

[cathandbaby]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After i had my baby i had terible PND and had to be referred to the local Crisis Team. It has been a long slow process but i got better and am now back in work.

But now i'm going through a terrible time. I'm just SO down and cant pull myself back out of it. I didnt come into work on Monday becasue i simply couldnt face it. Cant be bothered with anything and its getting to the stage where i just dont want anyone to talk to me. My boss just made a stupid comment that was a bit off hand and i now feel like bursting into tears.

I feel like i need some time to get myself together again. I really REALLY dont want to have to do it but i think i might have to go to the doctors and get signed off work for a while. Otherwise i might end up doing something stupid whilst i am here and i love the job and dont want to lose it

But then everyone will know that i'm off becasue of depression and will think differently of me.

I just cant cope anymore - what should i do?

 

[mightyspu]

They don't have to know why you are off, but depression is nothing to be ashamed of. Half of your work colleagues have probably been depressed at some time or another. If you are not ready to be back at work, then it's best that you take time to get yourself better. Hope you feel better soon.

 

[Raggydoll]

Hi Cathandbaby,

This is pretty much how I've been feeling lately.

I have PND and anxiety. It incredibly low and ended up in hospital for 10 weeks. Things have slowly got better and I've built a lovely relationship with my daughter. I love being with her.

In July i made the decision to return at the beginning of September. At this point things were better but still difficult. It was only as the date got closer I wish I hadn't set the date whilst still struggling as I was now really enjoying my time with my daughter. I also started to feel guilty for the way things were in the first few months and wished I'd enjoyed her more.

Anyway I went back to work, but now I find I'm feeling so down. I feel really anxious and I'm finding it hard to concentrate. I just want to make up the time I lost with my daughter.

I'm also finding it hard to get off to sleep, which is making me feel run down. I'm finding it hard to keep up, I'm also studying and I've got an exam next month but I'm so behind.

I know I should ease the pressure on myself but this is the second time my work have paid for these units.(I was meant to be taking the exams in June but dropped out of college when I was admitted to hospital)

I really don't know if I should take some time out. I did want to return part time but it's not an option with my job.

 

[akaash.]

feeling dazed and tired is this normal in pnd ..
in my own world thinking and worrying about my feelings
theres defo something weird about the way im feeling .. just constant thoughts going through my mind and everything ive done today doesnt seem real.. just feeling weird and confused..!!
not interested in anything apart from thinking/worrying about me and my feelings
is this normal ?

 

[mightyspu]

akaash, have you felt any better since being on the ads? Can you feel any improvement? Or can people close to you, partner, family etc, see that you are better at all? If not, I suggest you need to chat to your GP about how you are feeling. It could be part of the pnd, or it could be side effects. Your GP would be better able to advise on the next course of action. I hope this helps.

Raggy, Do you have to pass these exams now? Is there a time limit for you to get this qualification? I know work have paid for them, but could you defer for a year?

Write down in list the things that are stressing you out and why. Can they be managed? Think of how they would stop being an issue and try and find a way to realise that. If there is no obvious solution, move onto the next item on the list and concentrate on that.

Is it possibly for you to do your job part time with another company? Do you have an occupational health department that you could speak with?

 

[akaash.]

Everyone can see a improvement from when i first had pnd but i know ads havnt had effect yet just waiting ... X

 

[mightyspu]

Do the ones that you are on take a long time to take effect? should be feeling a little better by now? Can you speak to your doctor to see if your feelings are normal for this medication?

 

[akaash.]

yes ive been back and they said it can take up to a month and everything i feel is deinatley normal in pnd.. did you suffer 'it' xx

 

[mightyspu]

Well that's something I suppose....... :s well it's not much help, but switching meds would take a while to kick in too. I just wish it could be more instant. Do you mean do I suffer from PND? If so, yes. I caught it early. Ive had depression before so thought I might get low. I just feel bad for not being able to cope without help, that I should be able to do this on my own, kwim?

 

[Gracie23]

I'm new to these forums...I'm just trying to find someone that is going through what I am, My family lives in another state and I don't have a strong bond with my husbands family yet...so I have no one to talk to but my husband and most days I think he is talked out (I tend to just repeat myself) He has not snapped yet but I can see it wearing on him =(

I posted a reply earlier to a woman and just going to post it here, ust to see if anyone else does this and what I can do to get through some of it. (My sister has be breath in and out when i call her sobbing on the phone...so far it's all I got to settle my crying)

I cry uncontrolably 4-5 times a day (I lock myself in the bathroom and turn out the lights and just cry until I stop) My husband has to drive when we go out because I lose it at the drop of a hat and I have yet to realize what sets me off. I think about death and the different ways I could kill myself on a daily basis and cry because I'm scared, I don't have a closeness with god because of losing 2 babies to miscarriage and it just seems like I get punished for everything...but I am scared that if I kill myself I will never see my children (I never think of harming my baby, but I know that can also mean severe pnd) I make myself believe that my husband is cheating on me and that my children hate me, almost like I make up senarios in my head of what is going on and make myself believe it and because I do this I pick fights with my husband. (He is still learning to cope with my pnd and assures me everyday that he is going to help me battle this) I can't be anywhere but home for too long because I start to worry about when I'm going to just snap and have a breakdown.

I used to be happy and I used to laugh and have fun....now I sit here and just zone out when i'm not crying. My mind is such a dangerous place for me right now =(

I am currently on Wellbutrin XL 150mg (been on for a month) and started Zoloft 100mg today. I go back in 4 weeks for a followup on meds...I need these to work...I'm scared of losing my husband, my kids, my life

 

[mightyspu]

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way, I hope you can start to feel better soon. You're not alone, a lot of women have experienced similar feelings. I wish something I could say would make you feel instantly better. do you have a sympathetic friend close by? I only say this as it helps me to get out of the house, but you say you can't go far atm. How about if you set yourself small goals, the corner shop for 5 minutes for example, and work up to longer trips?

Feel free to send me a personal message whenever.