Posting on other forums and offending people.

[hot tea]

Tbh I see absolutely nothing wrong with just reading. It is to gain info. I understand why some women would be very sensitive to it... But this is a public forum.

As soon as I show my face in teen pregnancy and try and offer help I get my head bitten off. It is funny but kind of hurtful. There is very pointed hate pointed at me so I have chosen not to even enter that part of the forums anymore...

I wondered why you're never over there anymore...

I attempted about a week ago, giving a girl the pros AND cons of the rhogam shot, and a girl was all HOW DARE YOU SCARE THAT GIRL HER DOC WOULDNT GiVE IF IT WAS BAD.

Hmm. Life is not quite that black and white. Sometimes it is just the pros that outweigh the cons, despite the cons existing... I just told her she didnt need to be so rude and she promptly told me that I deserved it.

 

[Lucy22]

I'm gonna be honest here and admit that I've often read sad posts and not commented.

Besides the horrific tragedy of miscarraige & stillborn babies that we see here, I've seen posts about cheating OH's, children with disabilities/special needs, people with serious financial issues, people who are depressed, relationships breaking down and family difficulties.

I don't know anyone on here in real life, so how am I supposed to know what the right thing to say is when someone is going through such a tough time? I'm usually afraid that I'll upset them even more by saying the wrong thing. And b/c I'm expecting, I doubt anyone going through the loss of a child would want to hear from me.

Sometimes I do leave hugs, or advice if I can relate to the issue. But for the most part, I keep my mouth shut. I'd rather say nothing than say the wrong thing.

Another thing to consider is that this forum is public. There are hundreds of unregistered users reading the entire forum everyday without being identified.

I hope I didn't insult anyone there, I just wanted to get across why some of us don't post on threads about difficult issues. Sorry if I've hurt anyones feelings

 

[Jasa1911]

I'm gonna be honest here and admit that I've often read sad posts and not commented.

Besides the horrific tragedy of miscarraige & stillborn babies that we see here, I've seen posts about cheating OH's, children with disabilities/special needs, people with serious financial issues, people who are depressed, relationships breaking down and family difficulties.

I don't know anyone on here in real life, so how am I supposed to know what the right thing to say is when someone is going through such a tough time? I'm usually afraid that I'll upset them even more by saying the wrong thing. And b/c I'm expecting, I doubt anyone going through the loss of a child would want to hear from me.

Sometimes I do leave hugs, or advice if I can relate to the issue. But for the most part, I keep my mouth shut. I'd rather say nothing than say the wrong thing.

Another thing to consider is that this forum is public. There are hundreds of unregistered users reading the entire forum everyday without being identified.

I hope I didn't insult anyone there, I just wanted to get across why some of us don't post on threads about difficult issues. Sorry if I've hurt anyones feelings

Totally agree with this.

This is a public forum, people often find it difficult to comment on subjects of stillbirth, miscarriage and neonatal loss so don't leave a message. I personally haven't been back in that part of the forum for fear of upsetting myself. I haven't even read my old 'loss' threads because it's too hard. But if I didnt want to share my story or have people I dont know looking at it and then not comment I wouldnt have put it on a public forum.

Not everyone has the words, but if it's there to be read it's there to be read and you get support from so many women on this site that if everyone commented or left a hug I personally would get fed up. No hugs, sypmathies and 'I'm sorry for your loss's can bring back my baby. So I would rather people only comment with advice of how cope.

Sorry if I upset anyone but I think sometimes we all need to be a bit more rational xxx

 

[hayley x]

I realise I agree with more of these replies than I thought, I guess when you're so emotionally involved its hard to think straight iykwim?

 

[keeks1987]

Ah right cool keeks.
People never meant it to her in a nasty way just think when people don't know what to see we put our foot in mouths lol.
I understand now though and I'm glad you told her about what you've read about other people's experiences, so she knows she's not alone.
Think she'll be joining the forum?

I dunno. I hope she will. It's been an amazing help to me. Maybe in her own time

 

[syntaxerror]

Tbh I see absolutely nothing wrong with just reading. It is to gain info. I understand why some women would be very sensitive to it... But this is a public forum.

As soon as I show my face in teen pregnancy and try and offer help I get my head bitten off. It is funny but kind of hurtful. There is very pointed hate pointed at me so I have chosen not to even enter that part of the forums anymore...

I wondered why you're never over there anymore...

I attempted about a week ago, giving a girl the pros AND cons of the rhogam shot, and a girl was all HOW DARE YOU SCARE THAT GIRL HER DOC WOULDNT GiVE IF IT WAS BAD.

Hmm. Life is not quite that black and white. Sometimes it is just the pros that outweigh the cons, despite the cons existing... I just told her she didnt need to be so rude and she promptly told me that I deserved it.

I missed that.
I'm not sure what a rhogam shot is but I'm sorry if people are being too trigger happy lately

 

[v2007]

TBH yes it is a public forum but there are parts of the loss sections which are not public and require special access to them and when people are requesting access without actually offering any support, it sort of takes the pee.

V xxx

 

[hot tea]

Tbh I see absolutely nothing wrong with just reading. It is to gain info. I understand why some women would be very sensitive to it... But this is a public forum.

As soon as I show my face in teen pregnancy and try and offer help I get my head bitten off. It is funny but kind of hurtful. There is very pointed hate pointed at me so I have chosen not to even enter that part of the forums anymore...

I wondered why you're never over there anymore...

I attempted about a week ago, giving a girl the pros AND cons of the rhogam shot, and a girl was all HOW DARE YOU SCARE THAT GIRL HER DOC WOULDNT GiVE IF IT WAS BAD.

Hmm. Life is not quite that black and white. Sometimes it is just the pros that outweigh the cons, despite the cons existing... I just told her she didnt need to be so rude and she promptly told me that I deserved it.

I missed that.
I'm not sure what a rhogam shot is but I'm sorry if people are being too trigger happy lately

Well it is to be expected in that part of the forums. I am so much happier in the second tri board. Buuuut I do have so much valuable info because I am a young mom to a three year old, it seems a shame.

Rhogam is given to women who are RH negative blood type. It helps protect your baby is your baby is of a positive blood type. It is not necessary if your partner is a negative blood type as well, and should be avoided if it is possible. BUT rhogam also saves babies lives in the case of positive baby, but only the consecutive ones. Not the first.

 

[evasmum]

TBH yes it is a public forum but there are parts of the loss sections which are not public and require special access to them and when people are requesting access without actually offering any support, it sort of takes the pee.

V xxx

I think the OP has totally misunderstood the point of your original post in the loss forum. I think it was irrational of her to jump over here and post about it, once again drawing attention to the loss boards which is unwanted.

I thought there was a forum rule which did not allow posting about other threads? (might be wrong)

 

[evasmum]

While this thread has lots of views would anyone like to signthe Grazia Magazine and Sands petition which is campaigning for better care for pregnant women in the UK to prevent death of babies? If so the link is in my signature.

 

[hayley x]

good idea evas mum x

 

[hot tea]

I think you are being a bit harsh to the OP. She had very good intentions.

 

[keeks1987]

TBH yes it is a public forum but there are parts of the loss sections which are not public and require special access to them and when people are requesting access without actually offering any support, it sort of takes the pee.

V xxx

Yeah, I understand

 

[sequeena]

If you read but don't comment it must feel like the ladies who have suffered horrendous losses are there for your entertainment (obviously not as I would hate to think anyone can be so morbid) and bless you for wanting to help your friend... just remember a hug and a few kind words goes a long long way

 

[sequeena]

While this thread has lots of views would anyone like to signthe Grazia Magazine and Sands petition which is campaigning for better care for pregnant women in the UK to prevent death of babies? If so the link is in my signature.

I have signed

Yes the original thread was aimed at those who read and ran, back when page views could be seen on that part of the forum. It was not specifically aimed at the OP at all. You wouldn't believe the hundreds of pageviews their threads would get and only 10 or so replies

 

[Lucy22]

While this thread has lots of views would anyone like to signthe Grazia Magazine and Sands petition which is campaigning for better care for pregnant women in the UK to prevent death of babies? If so the link is in my signature.

I have signed

Yes the original thread was aimed at those who read and ran, back when page views could be seen on that part of the forum. It was not specifically aimed at the OP at all. You wouldn't believe the hundreds of pageviews their threads would get and only 10 or so replies

But the views of unregistered users are counted too, so that could be a reason that they're so high. Also, if someone goes in to a thread, comes out and goes back in, it counts as another view. Thats how they end up getting so high.
Unregistered users, or non members can view most of the whole forum without us knowing. Thats all I'm trying to get across

 

[sequeena]

While this thread has lots of views would anyone like to signthe Grazia Magazine and Sands petition which is campaigning for better care for pregnant women in the UK to prevent death of babies? If so the link is in my signature.

I have signed

Yes the original thread was aimed at those who read and ran, back when page views could be seen on that part of the forum. It was not specifically aimed at the OP at all. You wouldn't believe the hundreds of pageviews their threads would get and only 10 or so replies

But the views of unregistered users are counted too, so that could be a reason that they're so high. Also, if someone goes in to a thread, comes out and goes back in, it counts as another view. Thats how they end up getting so high.
Unregistered users, or non members can view most of the whole forum without us knowing. Thats all I'm trying to get across

Of course, but a 100+ viewers won't all be unregistered or people who have commented and are going back to the thread. I understand people don't know what to say but if you're not going to say anything at all then don't read it. Just my opinion of course xx

 

[hayley x]

unregistered users cant view the loss section! x

 

[sequeena]

unregistered users cant view the loss section! x

Oh, well that puts to bed that theory.

Makes sense though!!

 

[torch2010]

Some people ey!! I pop into all sections just to be nosey really. Teen mum one in particular as I fell pregnant at 15 with my first and often see posts I think I can help on.

By the way, well done you for helping your friend. I lost my son last year at 25+5 weeks and I am currently expecting our Rainbow baby

Its only now, 16 months on that I see the effect baby loss has on everyone around you. If you need to talk feel free to PM me xx