Posting on other forums and offending people.

[v2007]

While this thread has lots of views would anyone like to signthe Grazia Magazine and Sands petition which is campaigning for better care for pregnant women in the UK to prevent death of babies? If so the link is in my signature.

Signed a few weeks ago and posted the link on ma FB

V xxx

 

[v2007]

TBH yes it is a public forum but there are parts of the loss sections which are not public and require special access to them and when people are requesting access without actually offering any support, it sort of takes the pee.

V xxx

Yeah, I understand

The why make this thread.

 

[heather91]

I can understand why you're upset, but I do agree with evasmum in that singling out a post and posting it in here isn't really fair. The ladies in the loss section are grieving and yes they may be annoyed by how many page views they get with so few replies.. and why shouldn't they be? I'm sure not everyone that views the threads have as good intentions as you had.

 

[nickyXjayno]

Tbh I see absolutely nothing wrong with just reading. It is to gain info. I understand why some women would be very sensitive to it... But this is a public forum.

As soon as I show my face in teen pregnancy and try and offer help I get my head bitten off. It is funny but kind of hurtful. There is very pointed hate pointed at me so I have chosen not to even enter that part of the forums anymore...

Why are they like that with you?

 

[hot tea]

Tbh I see absolutely nothing wrong with just reading. It is to gain info. I understand why some women would be very sensitive to it... But this is a public forum.

As soon as I show my face in teen pregnancy and try and offer help I get my head bitten off. It is funny but kind of hurtful. There is very pointed hate pointed at me so I have chosen not to even enter that part of the forums anymore...

Why are they like that with you?

I made a thread asking whether they supported planned teen pregnancy/their stance on teen pregnancy, as pregnant teens. Like, in retrospect. It was a discussion thread. I made it very clear in the first post it was not meant to be offensive or judgemental... Especially seeing as I am a teen parent (had my son at the age of 17). I am twenty and this is my second... I feel very very young.

That was my first post made in that part of the forums. I had absolutely nooooo idea that a lot of the teen posters in there actually planned their pregnancies. After they got seriously offended I apologised, but they continued to literally call me names, laugh at every single thing I said, and mock me. It was horrifying.

I did have some posters actually message me privately and tell me they thought it was awful. But still.

 

[keeks1987]

Oh my word. This has proper plagued me all day, it's been playing on my mind all flipping day.

For me, this is gonna be my last post on this topic. As I've previously stated in my other posts my reasons for doing this thread and the initial intention, I am not going to keep trying to explain myself. I'm sorry if people are hurt, it, believe it or not, was not my intention.

I wrote that I understood just then because I understood what was meant. For me personally I'd have appreciated at least an attempt for understanding towards me. The initial thread which mine was asking about did not make it clear, hence why I felt it was a massive get lost to those who hadn't gone through the same things. Which is what I have already written previously.

Thank you all for comments which I found helpful. I'm glad you understood where I was coming from.

I think that after a day of stressing bout a forum thread, I'm gonna have a break from BnB. No one should have to stress bout this kinda thing.

 

[kittycat18]

As soon as I show my face in teen pregnancy and try and offer help I get my head bitten off. It is funny but kind of hurtful. There is very pointed hate pointed at me so I have chosen not to even enter that part of the forums anymore...

Why are they like that with you?

It wasn't directly at her. She posted a thread asking if Teenagers supported Teenage Pregnancy and it offended some of the girls in Teenage Pregnancy who were TTC or had fertility issues. It got a little out of hand but it wasn't all aimed directly at Hot Tea. Not by me anyway.

 

[heather91]

Tbh I see absolutely nothing wrong with just reading. It is to gain info. I understand why some women would be very sensitive to it... But this is a public forum.

As soon as I show my face in teen pregnancy and try and offer help I get my head bitten off. It is funny but kind of hurtful. There is very pointed hate pointed at me so I have chosen not to even enter that part of the forums anymore...

Why are they like that with you?

I made a thread asking whether they supported planned teen pregnancy/their stance on teen pregnancy, as pregnant teens. Like, in retrospect. It was a discussion thread. I made it very clear in the first post it was not meant to be offensive or judgemental... Especially seeing as I am a teen parent (had my son at the age of 17). I am twenty and this is my second... I feel very very young.

That was my first post made in that part of the forums. I had absolutely nooooo idea that a lot of the teen posters in there actually planned their pregnancies. After they got seriously offended I apologised, but they continued to literally call me names, laugh at every single thing I said, and mock me. It was horrifying.

I did have some posters actually message me privately and tell me they thought it was awful. But still.

You're the same as me! First at 17, second at 20. I don't want to be offensive now but from EXPERIENCE, a lot of girls who have babies young that were planned for go really OTT in defending their decision. I did too because afterwards I realised it was a really STUPID decision to make (although I love DD with all my heart of course and wouldnt change her)

 

[hot tea]

As soon as I show my face in teen pregnancy and try and offer help I get my head bitten off. It is funny but kind of hurtful. There is very pointed hate pointed at me so I have chosen not to even enter that part of the forums anymore...

Why are they like that with you?

It wasn't directly at her. She posted a thread asking if Teenagers supported Teenage Pregnancy and it offended some of the girls in Teenage Pregnancy who were TTC or had fertility issues. It got a little out of hand but it wasn't all aimed directly at Hot Tea. Not by me anyway.

No, it was definitely aimed at me. There was a group of girls who literally bullied me like it was the grade school playground. At the end they ruined the thread on purpose. They even said they were as they did it!

I should add that there were a few who were objective. It was just the one group of girls who took it way out of proportion. Now there is pointed dislike and rudeness whenever I post in there. It is just that group, but they are thorough.

 

[nickyXjayno]

Ah right, sorry to hear that Hot Tea.
I've said somethings that have come out wrong or people have taken the wrong way which can be really unpleasant.

keeks are you talking about the thread v2007 made?
I did have a read but it didn't seem like they were making out for people to get lost, think the internet is evil in this way as you can't see people's facial expressions so things get missunderstood.
From what i could see they were upset that people had requested membership to the private section but weren't doing anything but looking.
I get stressed about forum stuff sometimes, makes me feel right sad but you aint alone .

 

[hot tea]

Tbh I see absolutely nothing wrong with just reading. It is to gain info. I understand why some women would be very sensitive to it... But this is a public forum.

As soon as I show my face in teen pregnancy and try and offer help I get my head bitten off. It is funny but kind of hurtful. There is very pointed hate pointed at me so I have chosen not to even enter that part of the forums anymore...

Why are they like that with you?

I made a thread asking whether they supported planned teen pregnancy/their stance on teen pregnancy, as pregnant teens. Like, in retrospect. It was a discussion thread. I made it very clear in the first post it was not meant to be offensive or judgemental... Especially seeing as I am a teen parent (had my son at the age of 17). I am twenty and this is my second... I feel very very young.

That was my first post made in that part of the forums. I had absolutely nooooo idea that a lot of the teen posters in there actually planned their pregnancies. After they got seriously offended I apologised, but they continued to literally call me names, laugh at every single thing I said, and mock me. It was horrifying.

I did have some posters actually message me privately and tell me they thought it was awful. But still.

You're the same as me! First at 17, second at 20. I don't want to be offensive now but from EXPERIENCE, a lot of girls who have babies young that were planned for go really OTT in defending their decision. I did too because afterwards I realised it was a really STUPID decision to make (although I love DD with all my heart of course and wouldnt change her)

I figure it is something like that. I am no stranger to the situation... I know how it feels. I didnt expect what happened, though perhaps I should have!

 

[littlenic]

Hot tea - how awful, there really are some mean people on here. The ttc thread was great for me but boy have my eyes been opened since moving into 1st and particularly 2nd trimester threads.

 

[Vickieh1981]

Ahhh the initial post mentions my reply in the stillbirth forum. I did specify on there that I wasn't upset personally with her posting. I said that even when there are reasons for looking (as there always are when these threads come up as those who gawp never reply anyway) that some angel Mummies still get upset and a lot of them would prefer the whole forum was private.

I didn't have a go. I was just saying and my first loyalties will always be to the girls on there who are now good friends of mine.

Even in the private section there are people who try to request to just be nosy. I took down my little girls pictures even in therebecause there were a couple of people who hadn't ever posted.

 

[nickyXjayno]

Hot Tea just read that thread and omg, it started off ok then went a bit nutso!
*hugs*

 

[syntaxerror]

I'm over there occasionally.

I don't post threads because I don't particularly feel like discussing most of the last year yet.

I haven't posted replies because I haven't had much I could say beyond "I'm sorry for your loss." I wouldn't want to hear the same words repeatedly; I don't imagine that me doing the same to anyone else could possibly be helpful.

/confessions of a lurker.

 

[kittycat18]

No, it was definitely aimed at me. There was a group of girls who literally bullied me like it was the grade school playground. At the end they ruined the thread on purpose. They even said they were as they did it!

I should add that there were a few who were objective. It was just the one group of girls who took it way out of proportion. Now there is pointed dislike and rudeness whenever I post in there. It is just that group, but they are thorough.

I suppose some people just got very offensive over the fact that they had been TTC I don't agree with teenagers trying to have children when they aren't in the position to and I fully understand that mistakes happen because it happened to me... I'm just sorry that it got so out of hand and that you don't feel welcome anymore. I will admit that after going back and seeing some of the replies you received, it did get very offensive and I don't support what certain girls said.

 

[Fergie]

Sorry only read the first few pages.

I think that what the OP did was lovely. I only wish that my friends had been so thoughtful and understanding when i lost my wee lass at 26 weeks.

Hugs xx