pre-IVF anxiety... Help!!

[Megan0625]

Hi everybody, just sending a quick update that my beta results are in and I was right, I'm not pregnant. I'm going to stop my meds and wait for my period. I'm extremely sad and disappointed but not exactly surprised. I'm hoping to move on and do a frozen embryo transfer in a couple of months, but we will see. Thank you all for your support.

 

[elencor]

Oh so sorry, I was hoping your intuition was wrong. Once you start can you just implant an embryo every month?
I'm sure you will end up with your baby

 

[Megan0625]

Oh so sorry, I was hoping your intuition was wrong. Once you start can you just implant an embryo every month?
I'm sure you will end up with your baby

I really don't know, I think I could technically do an embryo transfer as early as next month (it takes time to prep for a few weeks), but I think I want to give my body at least a month's break. I'm more worried about coming up with another $5000, but at this point, I'll probably take out another loan. This whole process is so incredibly hard. I have a follow-up consult with my RE on March 15 to come up with a plan. Hoping to transfer 2 embryos next time.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I'm so sorry

 

[WinterBub]

Oh, I'm so sorry. I had really hoped that your intuition was wrong, too. Take some time for yourself to recuperate. I hope that your RE has some insights for you at your appointment in a couple of weeks. I'm sorry- I wish this wasn't all so hard.

 

[elencor]

We'll be doing icsi-ivf in may, next week we'll meet with our fertility specialist to talk in detail the next steps. I'm really anxious about the money, also we've decided not to tell our relatives or my work colleagues in order to avoid the stress and possible job prospects repercussions, as I have a temporary contract which must be renew in june, this means I'll have to do it all during my holidays since there isn't any good fertility clinic close to our home, it'll be 5 hours drive (2:5 each way) to every appointment... So it all feels really complicated, I had hoped to fall pregnant naturally before it but it's time to face reality, it's next to impossible with the sperm count we have.
I understand it must have been really difficult to face a failed IVF after all the preparation but just wanted to say we must stay strong and we'll soon have babies in our arms how many embryos left do you have?

 

[Megan0625]

We'll be doing icsi-ivf in may, next week we'll meet with our fertility specialist to talk in detail the next steps. I'm really anxious about the money, also we've decided not to tell our relatives or my work colleagues in order to avoid the stress and possible job prospects repercussions, as I have a temporary contract which must be renew in june, this means I'll have to do it all during my holidays since there isn't any good fertility clinic close to our home, it'll be 5 hours drive (2:5 each way) to every appointment... So it all feels really complicated, I had hoped to fall pregnant naturally before it but it's time to face reality, it's next to impossible with the sperm count we have.
I understand it must have been really difficult to face a failed IVF after all the preparation but just wanted to say we must stay strong and we'll soon have babies in our arms how many embryos left do you have?

That sounds like a good plan! I also didn't tell much family or many friends and I definitely didn't tell my work supervisor because I sign annual contracts and didn't want that added stress. Of course, that meant it felt very isolating and only told my family after it failed because I went into a really deep depression. I have a very understanding supervisor at work, but I just don't want to risk him not renewing my contract, I'd rather wait until I know I'm pregnant, and then I'll talk to him about it. It also helps that my fertility clinic is about 2 miles from my job so I was able to do all my appointments on my way into work. Wow, 2.5 hours each way is rough! But it's worth it if it's a good clinic and will help give you a healthy baby. The last week has been extremely hard and I've been grieving, but I'm starting to pick myself up and prepare myself mentally for my next transfer (hopefully in May). I'm very stressed about money, but I want this more than anything so we will just have to make it work! We have 3 day 5-6 blastocysts left, and 2 of them are very good quality (though we didn't do the genetic PGS testing). When I have my appointment next week, I'm planning on asking my RE if he would consider transferring 2 embryos at the same time to help increase the chances of one sticking. I honestly don't know how many more failures I can take.

I am rooting for you! Looks like we will be doing a cycle around the same time Let me know how your appointment goes! It always helps to have someone else to talk to during these treatments, it's so tough!

 

[elencor]

So nice we are going to be May IVF buddies! Maybe we'll be pregnant together

I'm debating whether to transfer one or two, of course that depends on the number and quality of embryos I get but it's a hard choice, I'mthinking two at the moment.

On another note I just received the whole budget and it's almost 12.000 euros including all the expenses (if I can do a fresh transfer, which maybe not because I have too many follicles, if delayed transfer around 2k more) , plus around 4000 for each successive transfer. Im having a hard time getting my head around it but it is what is it

 

[Megan0625]

So nice we are going to be May IVF buddies! Maybe we'll be pregnant together

I'm debating whether to transfer one or two, of course that depends on the number and quality of embryos I get but it's a hard choice, I'mthinking two at the moment.

On another note I just received the whole budget and it's almost 12.000 euros including all the expenses (if I can do a fresh transfer, which maybe not because I have too many follicles, if delayed transfer around 2k more) , plus around 4000 for each successive transfer. Im having a hard time getting my head around it but it is what is it

Uggh, yeah I know, the cost is very scary and depressing. That's what I keep telling myself: "it is what it is". There's no other way for me to get pregnant, so we will unfortunately just have to deal with these costs. My costs are basically the same so I definitely empathize! My next transfer will be about $5300, plus the cost of medications, but it's what we have to do I suppose. It will definitely all be worth it when we have little ones in our arms

 

[WinterBub]

Hi Megan. Sorry again for your loss. I hope you're doing ok, and giving yourself some time to grieve. I take it that they adjust with each transfer, so fingers crossed your Dr learned something that will make the next transfer a success.

Can I live through both of you in May? The cost side of stuff is really absurd. And I get what you mean about accepting reality, elencor. I saw my OB today, and had to face the fact that my chances of a healthy pregnancy without IVF are slim. Confirmed that egg quality is my issue, and there's no work around other than IVF. We're going to see the RE at the end of the month, and thinking about taking a few months off and then doing IVF late in the summer (August?). Would love to see you both get pregnant in the meantime!

 

[elencor]

@WinterBub I'm sorry your having these kind of issues too, hopefully IVF will work perfectly for you, and who knows, your chances of getting pregnant naturally might be slim but they exist! Please keep us informed. And how is the weight loss going?

 

[WinterBub]

I have a different issue- getting pregnant isn't the hard part for me. I seemingly have egg quality issues, so the challenge is having a healthy baby. So, the genetic testing is the point for us.

I've lost two pounds over the last two weeks, but seems I'm unlikely to lose this week. I've been really good at walking/working out. But we went out for sushi and then had pizza one night/the next day. So, that seems to have ruined the week. How are you going??

 

[WinterBub]

I also thought that this was really helpful re: glucose! (just ignore the stupid title of the article). I'm going to try some of her tips

Why a spoonful of vinegar makes biscuits less fattening | Daily Mail Online

 

[elencor]

Same as you, I started the week very well but the weekend has been disastrous so I haven't actually lost any weight in the past month or so, but starting today I'm going to be a lot more serious about the diet... At least I haven't gained back any of the weight that I lost.
Genetic testing sounds like an amazing plan for you then, I wish you all the luck. I'm sorry you're having these heartbreaking kind of problems

 

[WinterBub]

Thank you! Sorry that we're all here for different reasons.

Will see what happens tomorrow when I officially weigh in. Oh well, lesson learned that I need to keep at it. I worked out extra today, but that probably isn't going to claw back the week. Good luck to you restarting, too!

 

[Megan0625]

Hi Megan. Sorry again for your loss. I hope you're doing ok, and giving yourself some time to grieve. I take it that they adjust with each transfer, so fingers crossed your Dr learned something that will make the next transfer a success.

Can I live through both of you in May? The cost side of stuff is really absurd. And I get what you mean about accepting reality, elencor. I saw my OB today, and had to face the fact that my chances of a healthy pregnancy without IVF are slim. Confirmed that egg quality is my issue, and there's no work around other than IVF. We're going to see the RE at the end of the month, and thinking about taking a few months off and then doing IVF late in the summer (August?). Would love to see you both get pregnant in the meantime!

Thank you! I'm so sorry you are having these problems too. I had my appt with my RE today and am feeling hopeful again. He did say my remaining embryos are grade A, so they are very good quality (no genetic testing though, so I'm not sure about that part). Obviously we don't know exactly what happened, it could have been an embryo issue or it could just have been an implantation issue. He did say he is open to transferring 2 embryos next time, so the chances of one sticking will be 60-70% rather than 40-50%. If this next one fails, I will probably do an ERA (endometrial receptivity assay) to see if there is a time where my uterus is most receptive if I'm having an implantation issue. I feel really good about transferring 2 though, so fingers crossed May is the cycle where I will get pregnant!

 

[elencor]

Thank you! I'm so sorry you are having these problems too. I had my appt with my RE today and am feeling hopeful again. He did say my remaining embryos are grade A, so they are very good quality (no genetic testing though, so I'm not sure about that part). Obviously we don't know exactly what happened, it could have been an embryo issue or it could just have been an implantation issue. He did say he is open to transferring 2 embryos next time, so the chances of one sticking will be 60-70% rather than 40-50%. If this next one fails, I will probably do an ERA (endometrial receptivity assay) to see if there is a time where my uterus is most receptive if I'm having an implantation issue. I feel really good about transferring 2 though, so fingers crossed May is the cycle where I will get pregnant!

It is likely one of us end up with twins can you imagine? I think a want a two embryo transfer to improve my chances since I'm not going to have money to do this many times, my doctor is kind of against it though, I'll talk to him tomorrow about it

 

[WinterBub]

I'm glad that your appt went well, and you're feeling hopeful, Megan! FX for twins when you do your transfer in May. And same for you, elencor! Good luck for your appt tomorrow, and please let us know how it goes. Hope that you guys can be bump buddies come May. We're going to see the RE at the end of the month, I'm curious now to see what he says about one embryo vs two.

 

[Megan0625]

It is likely one of us end up with twins can you imagine? I think a want a two embryo transfer to improve my chances since I'm not going to have money to do this many times, my doctor is kind of against it though, I'll talk to him tomorrow about it

My doctor prefers to start conservatively and transfer one embryo at a time, but since we have a long history at his office (we realized our first appointment was in December 2019!) and he knows the emotional journey this has been, he offered to transfer 2 embryos instead of one But he definitely typically starts with one embryo at a time. I honestly would love twins though. It would also be so nice to never have to do this again!

 

[Megan0625]

I'm glad that your appt went well, and you're feeling hopeful, Megan! FX for twins when you do your transfer in May. And same for you, elencor! Good luck for your appt tomorrow, and please let us know how it goes. Hope that you guys can be bump buddies come May. We're going to see the RE at the end of the month, I'm curious now to see what he says about one embryo vs two.

Thank you!!! I'm feeling excited again and I'm hoping this will be the month. My RE always starts with one embryo instead of 2, and I know there are even restrictions in some states and countries that prevents doctors from transferring more than 1 at a time. He just knows I've had multiple IUI failures, and now IVF, and he knows that we can't financially and emotionally keep having failures, so he actually offered the possibility of transferring 2 embryos next time. I'm very thankful! Just really hoping I don't ever have to go through the whole egg retrieval process ever again.