pre-IVF anxiety... Help!!

[elencor]

I'm so glad your feeling better and with optimism
My appointment today was just to take my bloods for the karyotype and thrombophilias study, but I had called and knew my doctor would be there so hoped to talk to him, we saw him for a couple of minutes and he explained a couple of things regarding the tests and the medication, but he was in a hurry. We'll have an appt with him in 2-3 weeks when all the results are back.
I'd really love twins more than anything in my life but to be honest I'd probably be terribly scared the whole pregnancy, and also I don't think my doctor will approve but we'll see. I see what you mean with the not wanting to do egg retrieval ever again, I'm really scared of having to do that more than once, I think I'd rather move to embryo adoption, for now thats plan B

 

[WinterBub]

I think it makes sense to start with one. Pregnancy is no joke, and I think the whole industry seems to have had to reorient itself after things like Octomom happened. Lol. I'm a bit mixed on the whole thing: love the idea of twins, but not sure that I would cope with a twin pregnancy/the first 3 years. I think your RE has a good plan, Megan. Trying 2 this time around sounds like a solid decision Good luck! When do you plan to do the next transfer? And when do you start meds/prep for it?

What was so bad about the egg retrieval? Was it the meds and that stage, or the actual retrieval (or both)? My RE said I wouldn't be on heavy meds, so not sure if that's specific to me, or he was downplaying the whole thing! Also hoping to only have to do it once... In all honesty, I think we will only give IVF one shot. I'd do multiple transfers, but as we have our LO, this is our last avenue to explore. If it doesnt happen, I'll have to make peace with it. Interesting that you'd do embryo adoption, elencor I have a friend who wants to have a baby by herself- she's looking into a program where you do the egg retrieval for free, but in exchange you donate some of the eggs that they collect. Not sure on all the details, though.

When you say karyotype, elencor- do you mean to check if you carry anything? I had that done already, and it does provide real peace of mind.

 

[Megan0625]

I think it makes sense to start with one. Pregnancy is no joke, and I think the whole industry seems to have had to reorient itself after things like Octomom happened. Lol. I'm a bit mixed on the whole thing: love the idea of twins, but not sure that I would cope with a twin pregnancy/the first 3 years. I think your RE has a good plan, Megan. Trying 2 this time around sounds like a solid decision Good luck! When do you plan to do the next transfer? And when do you start meds/prep for it?

What was so bad about the egg retrieval? Was it the meds and that stage, or the actual retrieval (or both)? My RE said I wouldn't be on heavy meds, so not sure if that's specific to me, or he was downplaying the whole thing! Also hoping to only have to do it once... In all honesty, I think we will only give IVF one shot. I'd do multiple transfers, but as we have our LO, this is our last avenue to explore. If it doesnt happen, I'll have to make peace with it. Interesting that you'd do embryo adoption, elencor I have a friend who wants to have a baby by herself- she's looking into a program where you do the egg retrieval for free, but in exchange you donate some of the eggs that they collect. Not sure on all the details, though.

When you say karyotype, elencor- do you mean to check if you carry anything? I had that done already, and it does provide real peace of mind.

As of right now, we are planning for a May transfer (end of May) If finances don't allow it, we will postpone but that's what we are really wanting. I would start birth control on day 3 of my next period (so probably around April 9), and then start the Lupron injections about 10 days later. I think they said for an FET, it's a 45-day prep period.

As for the egg retrieval, aside from the high cost of that part of the process (my meds alone were almost $4000), the injections just took a massive toll on my body and my mental health. I had a lot of side effects and was doing 3 injections a day. There's a minimum of 2 shots a day once you start the cetrotide, which is a blocker of early ovulation, and that one would cause softball-sized welts on my stomach, which would last about 24 hours for me :/. That, the daily ultrasounds and bloodwork, plus the retrieval itself was a painful recovery (luckily only for a few days). I did not end up with OHSS luckily, but I did just have a lot of bad gas pain in my abdomen and GI issues, and obviously my ovaries were very sore because they removed 36 follicles. That was just the hardest part of the journey and I'm hoping that it's behind me and I don't have to do it again . It's different for everybody, but I do think all the hormones are just a lot for the body. I ended up even having full body eczema and flushing of the skin because of the rapid rise in estrogen. That pretty much cleared up after I stopped the meds and had my egg retrieval procedure. Then I just had to deal with the massive bruises on my butt from the progesterone injections lol. It's odd because during the process, I didn't feel like it was that bad, but when I look back on it, I realize how much of a toll it took. I was just so exhausted and could barely stay awake some days, had massive mood swings and would just cry, my stomach was red, sore, and sometimes itchy (the cetrotide and menopur were the absolute worst), and we didn't tell anybody we were doing this so I just felt very much alone (aside from my supportive partner).

 

[elencor]

I'm not sure if the karyotype shows genetic diseases, I think it just show the shape of the chromosomes to see if they're normal. Well I hope not to get to the point where I have to do embryo adoption... But egg retrieval scares me a lot for some reason, I haven't even researched it much I prefer not to know the details. And I'm scared of my genetic material being bad or going through many many transfers to achieve nothing, I like to know embryo adoption is there as an option in case things go wrong. I am not enjoying all the uncertainty and the unknowns.

@Megan0625 can I ask a question? Once you start your period and start taking the meds to stimulate the follicles and all that, how many days go between the start of the period and the egg retrieval? Because I've read many times it's about 10 days but my doctor said something about taking meds for about 20 days so I think I'm missing something

 

[elencor]

I have a friend who wants to have a baby by herself- she's looking into a program where you do the egg retrieval for free, but in exchange you donate some of the eggs that they collect.

That's really interesting if things go bad with this IVF cycle I might have to research it

 

[WinterBub]

I thought it was a really interesting idea. She is living in the UK, and it does seem to be a thing there. Not sure if egg sharing is a thing/legal everywhere. It's an interesting idea for sure.

Thank you for the description of the egg retrievals, Megan. Eep, yeah- not super keen to go through that, and I understand why you wouldn't want to have to do it again. FX that the next transfer is successful and thats the end of that for you. I'm a little scared of OHSS. I have PCOS and a really high egg reserve, so that seems to put me at higher risk Good question for me to ask. Nobody has even mentioned it to me thus far!

 

[Megan0625]

I'm not sure if the karyotype shows genetic diseases, I think it just show the shape of the chromosomes to see if they're normal. Well I hope not to get to the point where I have to do embryo adoption... But egg retrieval scares me a lot for some reason, I haven't even researched it much I prefer not to know the details. And I'm scared of my genetic material being bad or going through many many transfers to achieve nothing, I like to know embryo adoption is there as an option in case things go wrong. I am not enjoying all the uncertainty and the unknowns.

@Megan0625 can I ask a question? Once you start your period and start taking the meds to stimulate the follicles and all that, how many days go between the start of the period and the egg retrieval? Because I've read many times it's about 10 days but my doctor said something about taking meds for about 20 days so I think I'm missing something

Hmmm... If I remember correctly, it starts with calling on day 1 of period, then you start taking birth control pills on day 3. You take those for about 14-21 days (depending on the clinic), and that is the time period where they are looking for ovarian suppression and that way they can control the cycle. Then you go in for your baseline ultrasound and to check for cysts, and then you start your stims once you are given the okay. I started stims 2 days after my cyst check. You do your subcutaneous injections for about 8-12 days depending on your response (I think the average time from start of injections to egg retrieval is 10-12 days). I did 10 days of injections, then I did my trigger shot and went in 36 hours later for egg retrieval. I hope that helps!

 

[Megan0625]

I thought it was a really interesting idea. She is living in the UK, and it does seem to be a thing there. Not sure if egg sharing is a thing/legal everywhere. It's an interesting idea for sure.

Thank you for the description of the egg retrievals, Megan. Eep, yeah- not super keen to go through that, and I understand why you wouldn't want to have to do it again. FX that the next transfer is successful and thats the end of that for you. I'm a little scared of OHSS. I have PCOS and a really high egg reserve, so that seems to put me at higher risk Good question for me to ask. Nobody has even mentioned it to me thus far!

I think I would go through egg retrieval one more time if I had to (if none of these embryos are good) because my RE did say that sometimes embryo qualities just vary from batch to batch. One cycle might be great quality, but the next might not be, so I would allow myself to go through it one more time, and he said he would change the protocol if necessary to focus more on quality rather than quantity. They did retrieve 36 follicles, 22 of which were mature, so it's possible I lost some quality. But I'm still hopeful for my remaining 3 embryos! I think all the pain of the retrieval and side effects are definitely all worth it, and if they have any reason to worry about OHSS, they will freeze the embryos and have you do a frozen transfer Try not to worry too much about it because everybody's experiences are different. I would just be mentally prepared for the worst but be aware that you may have no side effects and a very easy recovery And some women have no side effects from the injections either! My estrogen just sky rocketed to over 4300 before they even did the trigger shot, so I think my body didn't like that very much. My clinic also pairs the trigger shot with Lupron (called a dual trigger shot), which apparently decreases chances of OHSS, so you could always ask your clinic about that as well.

 

[WinterBub]

Thank you for the info/advice! I will ask about lessening my risk factors, as that honestly seems really scary. If I do the genetic screening (which we will do if we go ahead with IVF), it would be a frozen transfer for that reason, anyway.

I wonder if the second egg retrieval would be easier in some ways? I hate not knowing what to expect/what is going on. Although, with that being said, obviously hope that it doesnt come to that, and you get a BFP with the next transfer

Hope all is going well for you too, elencor. Did you have your follow up appt that you mentioned?

 

[Megan0625]

Thank you for the info/advice! I will ask about lessening my risk factors, as that honestly seems really scary. If I do the genetic screening (which we will do if we go ahead with IVF), it would be a frozen transfer for that reason, anyway.

I wonder if the second egg retrieval would be easier in some ways? I hate not knowing what to expect/what is going on. Although, with that being said, obviously hope that it doesnt come to that, and you get a BFP with the next transfer

Hope all is going well for you too, elencor. Did you have your follow up appt that you mentioned?

Thank you I do think the second egg retrieval would be a bit easier, especially since they know how I responded the first time and can adjust my medication doses to prevent me from over-responding. I also would definitely do genetic testing if I have to do a second retrieval, so I would be freezing my embryos instead of doing a fresh transfer, which would put a bit less stress on my body. I'm definitely hoping for a successful FET though. I received my official pricing sheet yesterday and it will be around $3700 plus the cost of meds, so it's honestly a little less than I expected.

I hope you both are doing well!

 

[LeeMcMee]

Hi! I came here looking for tips etc because we are about to go through IVF. We did 4 IUIs and then 2 cycles on our own that were just medicated. I have PCOS, hypothyroid, and 1 uterine fibroid. My friend just did IVF and she's not 12 weeks pregnant! She told me to get an auto injector for the shots so they hurt less (cuz she did one on her own and it hurt more than when she used the auto injector). So I bought one online for $125. Back at the end of 2021 we were going to start IVF but the meds for us were also around $4k because the pharmacy they sent me to didn't accept my insurance. Later on I had people telling me I could probably have them use another pharmacy. We waited until this month to pay for everything because long story short we were receiving my husband's inheritance and used some of that for the money owed. I also was able to get my nurse to switch pharmacies so I only paid $1k instead of $4k! Even still we wouldn't have had the money back then.

So my last birth control pill is tonight and then on Monday I'm going in for my baseline bloodwork and ultrasound. I'm starting stims around April 1st if all is good. I received all my meds in yesterday and god damn there's a lot lol. I appreciated reading your message a few messages back about your experience with the meds. I'm expecting the worse for egg retrieval cuz nothing goes right for me lol even when I did the iodine test in my uterus way back I ended up being allergic to the iodine and I was in so much pain and couldn't move for like 2 days. I know everything is worth it tho!

 

[WinterBub]

Glad to hear the pricing was better than expected, Megan! And it does seem like with each cycle they learn more and more about you personally. So, hope you never have to do another cycle, but at least there are some silver linings for ladies that happens to.

Welcome, Lee! Wishing you good luck as you start IVF. Please let us know how it all goes

AFM- met with the RE on Friday, and he advised IVF (which was expected). He seemed to think that im pretty likely to be successful- have no problem falling it staying pregnant, my issue is egg quality. So, just have to hope we get at least a couple of healthy embryos. The tentative plan is to start in July/Aug/Sep. I forgot to ask about the Lupron Maybe I'll set up an appt with the Dr (not just the ivf coordinator) before we would start.

 

[Megan0625]

Hi! I came here looking for tips etc because we are about to go through IVF. We did 4 IUIs and then 2 cycles on our own that were just medicated. I have PCOS, hypothyroid, and 1 uterine fibroid. My friend just did IVF and she's not 12 weeks pregnant! She told me to get an auto injector for the shots so they hurt less (cuz she did one on her own and it hurt more than when she used the auto injector). So I bought one online for $125. Back at the end of 2021 we were going to start IVF but the meds for us were also around $4k because the pharmacy they sent me to didn't accept my insurance. Later on I had people telling me I could probably have them use another pharmacy. We waited until this month to pay for everything because long story short we were receiving my husband's inheritance and used some of that for the money owed. I also was able to get my nurse to switch pharmacies so I only paid $1k instead of $4k! Even still we wouldn't have had the money back then.

So my last birth control pill is tonight and then on Monday I'm going in for my baseline bloodwork and ultrasound. I'm starting stims around April 1st if all is good. I received all my meds in yesterday and god damn there's a lot lol. I appreciated reading your message a few messages back about your experience with the meds. I'm expecting the worse for egg retrieval cuz nothing goes right for me lol even when I did the iodine test in my uterus way back I ended up being allergic to the iodine and I was in so much pain and couldn't move for like 2 days. I know everything is worth it tho!

I wish you all the best! Yeah, I was so shocked when I saw the amount of meds lol. It is crazy that all of that gets injected into our bodies. You are absolutely right though, all of it will be worth it You never know, you may have a completely different experience with the meds. Like I said, I actually felt pretty okay for the most part, but I definitely started feeling the side effects after about days 5-6 (when I started the Cetrotide), but I didn't realize the extent of it until I looked back on the experience after. I swear I must have gone into a bit of shock during all the treatments lol. It felt like time went by so fast during all the injections, egg retrieval, and embryo transfer but nearly stood still during the tww.

Let me know how everything goes! I'm excited to hear about your BFP story

 

[Megan0625]

I have one small update. I decided to talk to my boss and let him know that we are family planning and actively trying to get pregnant. Normally, I wouldn't have had that discussion, but I work in a neuroscience research lab and he renews my contract every year based on job performance, etc. Between that and some dangerous chemicals I work with, I decided to talk to him about me wanting to have kids in the near future to make sure he was supportive (because if it isn't going to be a supportive environment, I would honestly look elsewhere) and to let him know someone else would need to start working with some of those chemicals. As a woman, working in the STEM field is actually very difficult at times because many women in STEM are looked down on if they decide to have kids because they don't see them as committed to work and to science. Well, he was incredibly supportive and it feels like a massive weight was lifted. He told me he is extremely happy with my job performance and that my job is here for me regardless, and he would even support me taking an extended maternity leave when the time comes. I just feel extremely lucky to have this kind of support and I feel like I can go into my FET with so many fewer worries.

 

[elencor]

Congratulations @Megan0625 ! That's amazing, in my case I work a very specific job in the field of science too and my contract is about to expire so it's really not the moment to tell coworkers but as soon as I can it will be a really heavy weight being lifted, provided they take it well like your boss lol

I've had a couple of really bad weeks because of stress and anxiety regarding an important thing I had to do at my work, I feel a lot better now that it's passed and feel optimistic and happy btw we got the results from the thrombophilias study, karyotype and some other tests and it is all good

 

[Bevziibubble]

@Megan0625 that's great they were so supportive

@elencor I'm so sorry you've had a few bad weeks. I am glad things are starting to get better now

 

[Megan0625]

Congratulations @Megan0625 ! That's amazing, in my case I work a very specific job in the field of science too and my contract is about to expire so it's really not the moment to tell coworkers but as soon as I can it will be a really heavy weight being lifted, provided they take it well like your boss lol

I've had a couple of really bad weeks because of stress and anxiety regarding an important thing I had to do at my work, I feel a lot better now that it's passed and feel optimistic and happy btw we got the results from the thrombophilias study, karyotype and some other tests and it is all good

I totally understand that! I wouldn't have told my supervisor now except that we have a few changes happening at my job right now and I felt like I had to tell him so that I made the right decision to stay in this lab. But now I feel like a massive weight has been lifted because I think it was a worry I had for a long time.

I also have difficult weeks with experiments that give me a ton of anxiety, and some of my experiments involve highly toxic chemicals, so now I feel relieved that my boss knows which chemicals I won't be able to work with and such.

And I'm so glad for you about your karyotype results! I hope everything can go according to plan

 

[WinterBub]

Great news on your test results, elencor! Hope that your stress eases at work

Megan, that's so great! I think it is so hard to be a woman in childbearing years at work. My SIL had real trouble advancing at work, because without saying it, they were clearly worried she would want to have kids soon. In fairness, she did have two babies not that long after all this was happening. Ha! Anyway- so glad that your boss was understanding and supportive

 

[WinterBub]

Megan- just a quick question: do you remember how fast you could move on the ivf treatment once you decided on it? How long did it take to order your meds in etc? We might be losing IVF insurance coverage, so may be moving things up and trying to go ahead asap. I need to call the IVF coordinator and discuss tomorrow.

 

[elencor]

Megan- just a quick question: do you remember how fast you could move on the ivf treatment once you decided on it? How long did it take to order your meds in etc? We might be losing IVF insurance coverage, so may be moving things up and trying to go ahead asap. I need to call the IVF coordinator and discuss tomorrow.

Our doctor called us today! He says the moment we want to start we just have to tell him and meet him the first day of my period, he'll do an eco and then prescribe the medication to start right away, so it's a lot faster than I thought, in my case at least.
Keep us updated!

By the way the weight loose journey is going better than I thought I've lost another two kilograms