Pregnancy after our preemies support thread!

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Basically now it comes down to us needing to decide whether we want to discuss with them letting her grow her wings now to save her suffering or whether we want to carry on and see what happens with the pregnancy knowing there's a high chance of her growing her wings before she's born or if she does battle on her having a lot of lifelong medical and developmental problems and possibly losing her later on.

If I go into labour anytime soon they are unlikely to be able to help her anyway as with her growth problem they prob won't be able to get lines and tubes into her due to her being so tiny.

I'm just gutted and have no idea how to even begin thinking about this :cry::cry::cry:

I guess this shows that Mummy's instinct is always right as I knew something wasn't right right from the start of the pregnancy :cry:
 
I honestly dont know wat to say to lottie or tasha, but i am honestly thinking of u both right now xxx
 
This world is so fookin cruel :cry:

Mummy instinct is always right Lottie...I am just so so sorry you are going through this. :hugs:

Does the chromosome abnormailty differ from child to child in it's severity and affects? (sorry if I am being insensitive asking (tell me to bugger off if you want to), I am trying to understand :hugs:)
 
tasha... I am kind of lost here...

I am so sorry hunn ! massive hugs ! =(

I would take you for a coffee or something if I could but I am stuck in this hospital too...

What exactly happened hunn... ?

-------------------------------------

LOTTIE- I am so sorry too hunn =(

I am already emotional with my personal life roller coaster, but i am emotional for you girls too !
Tears wont help, but i can deff fell your pain !
 
lottie - o my God, I know it is personal and you should choose carefully, BUT
I would give it a chance...
I believe and TRUST in God, and I know that faith is keeping my little girl baking...
You have a totally different history, but give it a try....

I tried everything before Jesus, and when I finally tried faith it worked =)

If you decide to let her go, we will be here for support hunn, I cant imagine how hard this can be!

- yeah, the mom instinct are always right...

I had a bad instinct about my baby girl too, but now even againt my instincts I have Faith, Hope and I pray hard and everyday for her...
 
you&me said:
This world is so fookin cruel :cry:

Mummy instinct is always right Lottie...I am just so so sorry you are going through this. :hugs:

Does the chromosome abnormailty differ from child to child in it's severity and affects? (sorry if I am being insensitive asking (tell me to bugger off if you want to), I am trying to understand :hugs:)
Click to expand...

Yes it can vary but the bad news is that Bumpity is already showing problems that Findlay didn't have when I was expecting him and one that he didn't have as badly and didn't have this early on before he arrived which means that it is likely that she is more severely affected :( Now the consultant should have my results (as it says on the letter that genetics have sent a copy to her) I just need to wait for her to sort out Bumpity's detailed cardiac scan to check her heart in close detail to see if she is showing any signs of heart problems yet or not. I'm supposed to be seeing the consultant again on the 29th although not sure if she'll bring that appt forward now or not.

I knew that something was wrong from really early on and as scans have shown severe symmetrical growth probs so early on (growth issues started from 18 weeks if not earlier) etc I knew in my heart what the results were going to come back with but reading it in black and white makes it really hit home hard. I can't even cry as I think I've run out of tears now, I'm just physically and emotionally worn out. Once I've done Findlay's afternoon physio and other bits and he goes down for a nap I think I might try and see if I can have a bit of a nap myself.
 
:-( Try and get some rest if you can hun...

I hope they bring the heart scan forwards, would it be worth trying to call them tomorrow to see if they can?

Would there be any chance of moving back down near your mum so you have more support close by?

Hotmum, I am catholic, and I tell you; sometimes God is shit at his job...why would he make people that don't deserve the pain suffer?...I really don't buy all the 'god will only give you what he thinks you can deal with' stuff much :nope:
 
No unfortunately not due to my OH's job. It's really crap as with my Mum's health there is no way she can come up :nope: The care I had down there were so much better than the care up here when I was expecting Findlay so I really wish we could just head down there as everyone I saw down there from the midwives, to the consultants and theatre staff, to the NICU staff and health visitors were amazing.


Hotmum: I do believe in God (I'm Catholic) and have been praying since day 1 and it still happened. I know these things have to happen to someone and I wouldn't wish this chromosome abnormality on my worst enemy but it is still so hard to deal with.
 
you&me said:
sometimes God is shit at his job...why would he make people that don't deserve the pain suffer?...I really don't buy all the 'god will only give you what he thinks you can deal with' stuff much :nope:
Click to expand...

i have to agree with that!
 
Lottie...I have no words. I was hoping and wishing so hard, that things would play out so much differently for you and bump. I am just so sorry. :hugs:

Tasha...I am so sorry you are going through this again. My heart just aches for you. :hugs:

I wish there was more I do or say ladies.

I agree with the god comments...I am not really religious and that is why. Why does god make good, kind, wonderful people suffer? Repeatedly? I know all the reasons people tell me...but it's just not good enough! No one deserves to suffer like this...let alone twice!
 
Sorry for whats going on with you Lottie xxxxxx :hugs: Take your time and do what you think is best. what a heartbreaking scenario. :hugs:

Tasha i'm not sure what has gone on but i want to give a giant :hugs:
 
I normally just lurk around this thread seeing how you ladies are getting on and wishing you all my best wishes but just wanted to say:

Tasha - I am so sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you.

Lottie - So sorry to hear your news but you appear to be a very strong person and a fantastic mum so I am sure you will find the strength to work through this.

:hugs::hugs:to you both
 
Lottie, I know we have spoken a little before, but had to come on the thread to let you know I am thinking of you. I feel as if we have a connection because of our girls, sadly for all the wrong reasons. We both knew, didnt we? Even when everyone around us was saying otherwise. No matter what happens with Bumpity, I will be there for you, I promise :hugs: Lots of love chick :hugs:

As for me, for those of you that dont know, yesterday at 24+1 it was confirmed that Bubble has grown her angel wings. So I am finding it really hard to believe in a god right now, I mean seven miscarriages and for the second time in my life I am sitting at home waiting for an induction to go and give birth to my daughter knowing that there will be no screams from her, only silence, knowing that I will spend a few short hours with her trying to create memories then go home with some photos, empty arms and a broken heart. I know (after being told by a woman moments after my scan yesterday), that it is said that god doesnt give you what you cant carry, but believe me when I say I cant carry this pain again, I just cant. Burying your child once is so wrong, and now to be thinking of burying her little sister with her is, well beyond words.

Sorry if I offend anyone
 
Tasha...I am pretty sure you did not and could not offend anyone by what you have said. You are grieving deeply, you have 100% right to feel however you want..and be angry at whomever you want and question what/who ever you want.

So do you Lottie..and if anyone says otherwise, they can deal with me. Just saying.

:hugs:
 
Tasha there is no way you could ever offend anyone by that post. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I'm truely broken hearted for you. I sit here and cry. I wish I could give you the biggest hug right now. :hugs:
 
Again i'm just a follower of this thread but wanted to say how sorry i am to hear your in this situation Lottie. I was in a totally different situation but at 19 weeks my fluid levels were so low they said the only real option was to induce labour. I was devastated and remember the word they used was 'termination', i kept saying to DH on the way home 'but i don't want a termination', such a terrible way to put it. Nothing i can say or anyone else will help but try to stay as strong as you obviously are. If praying works do it, if crying works do it, if shouting works - do it. Do whatever works for you and the only advice i feel i can give is talk to your husband, i shut mine out a bit and forgot that he was going through it too, once i let him in it helped. Thinking of you :hugs:
 
Thanks everyone for the support, it's much appreciated. I just feel a combination of broken and numb at the moment. It's so hard when I've been living with the effects of this chromososme abnormality 24/7 for 2 years as I can't even kid myself that things might not be so bad like I perhaps could if it was a condition I had no experience of/didn't know much about as I know exactly what the reality of this is and it's not good.


Tasha: You have been such a fantastic support to me over the past few weeks, you'll never know how much help you've been. Always here for you too :hugs::hugs:
 
Tasha- can't put into words how sorry I am for you darling,sending you massive hugs xxx
Lottie- sorry your going through such a hard time xxx

You are both so brave x
 
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