Pregnancy after our preemies support thread!

[Lottie86]

Yay! What time is your scan at? Hope it all goes well and we'd love to see a picture later

 

[AP]

Woo hooooo danielle good luck!!!!!!!

 

[you&me]

Thanks Lottie ...it is at 12.30pm.

 

[Lianne1986]

good luck hun!!! xx by the way thts flew by!

 

[you&me]

Thanks Sandi and Lianne.

It has come around so quick...as long as everything goes okay; I am not going to be able to remain in denial anymore am I?

 

[Lottie86]

A question for those with more than 1 preemie:

Is the NICU journey 'easier' a second time around as you sort of know what to expect? I know it will be a different journey to last time as of course all babies are different anyway and my fetal med consultant is making a big thing now of pointing out she won't be like other babies of her gestation due to other issues but I was thinking of it from the point of view that this time we understand the preemie 'lingo', understand a lot of the equipment, are certainly well and truly used to tubes, wires, monitors and what the numbers mean so we won't be leaping 6ft in the air panicking everytime something beeps etc like we did when Findlay was born. Did you find this to be the case or am I falsely reassuring myself here?

 

[Lottie86]

I am not going to be able to remain in denial anymore am I?

No not when you see that denial has arms and legs waving around

 

[you&me]

Meet Pippin!!

 

[Lottie86]

Awwww hello Pippin!

 

[Olivias_mum]

A question for those with more than 1 preemie:

Is the NICU journey 'easier' a second time around as you sort of know what to expect? I know it will be a different journey to last time as of course all babies are different anyway and my fetal med consultant is making a big thing now of pointing out she won't be like other babies of her gestation due to other issues but I was thinking of it from the point of view that this time we understand the preemie 'lingo', understand a lot of the equipment, are certainly well and truly used to tubes, wires, monitors and what the numbers mean so we won't be leaping 6ft in the air panicking everytime something beeps etc like we did when Findlay was born. Did you find this to be the case or am I falsely reassuring myself here?

I definately found it easier the second time, i think mainly because i knew what everything meant so wasnt as shocked by it all. Grace had alot of problems that Olivia never had but having been there before made it a hell of alot easier. xx

 

[Lianne1986]

wooo hello pippen. how did it go dani? are ur daes still the same.

everyone

 

[you&me]

wooo hello pippen. how did it go dani? are ur daes still the same.

everyone

After all my paranoia, it went perfectly well...so far so good...dates are measuring spot on, so still due 27th November

 

[Lianne1986]

awww thats fab! so happy for u xx

 

[Lottie86]

Can I have an off topic rant please!

Our geneticist phoned me this morning about us arranging an appt for us to see a geneticist in Edinburgh to get another persons view on the chromo issue and he said he'd thought of another option seeing as the ethical option was no longer possible due to how late I'd got my amnio results.

The geneticists suggestion this morning was that I have Miss Bumpity, spend as much time with her as I'd like when she is born and then have her fostered He said if we wanted to stay in contact with her we could but wouldn't have to and then if her care needs reduced as she got older we could choose to have her back but again we wouldn't have to if we didn't want to I was absolutely horrified at him even suggesting this!! I told him that would not be a route we'd be looking at going down and I said to him about we are waiting to hear from social services about getting a carer for Findlay for a few hrs a week of respite care (as to date we don't get any so I don't get a break at all) and he said to speak to her and she might be able to tell me more about fostering

I have to agree with what my Mum said the other day about she thinks the hospital are worried we might take legal action about the fact that due to hospital admin cock ups meaning we had the amnio so late we have been given no option but to put Miss Bumpity through all that she is now likely to go through, we'll almost certainly have to move house in the future (as whilst we could extend our house to put a bedroom and wetroom for F downstairs there's no way we could extend to put 2 of each in which is what we will likely need now with Miss Bumpity ) etc and I wonder if the geneticist is 'suggesting' this so that if we did take legal action the hospital can then turn round and say 'well we gave you an alternative option so you didn't have to look after 2'. It's the only reason I can think of that he would even be suggesting the idea
He's making it sound like all we care about is how much work it is going to be which isn't the case at all as whilst yes of course it will be an awful lot of hard work and stress with 2 of them (and Dave mentioned to them being concerned about the effect on me and my health as he is at work full time) our main concern is of course for her and the fact that we no longer have the option of sparing her going through everything she will likely go through as whislt it would absolutely break me I would do anything to spare her going through everything.

I was in the car with a lady from the special needs group F goes to when he phoned and she and the other Mum's at the group were disgusted by what the geneticist had suggested so at least I know it's not me overreacting and that what he said was bang out of order.

 

[you&me]

Oh Lottie

He was bang bang out of order for suggesting it, just trying to cover their own arses by the sounds of that!!!

 

[dawnmc]

Hi Lottie, didn't want to read and run, not been on this forum for very long, but just wanted to ask if the consultant has actually taken the time to listen to you in this?!?! I don't know what it is like to be in your position, but the way they have gone about it is treating Miss Bumpity as an 'it' as opposed to a person. grr makes me mad, and I too am disgusted with the suggestions made.

Dawn x

 

[bob2331]

Lottie,

I cant believe that, im so sorry! I cant believe a consultant would say something like that!

 

[Lottie86]

We were speaking to the consultant and the geneticist for well over an hour on Tuesday and we made sure we clearly put our side across for why we were wanting to go for the option we were and our GP had spoken to the consultant and put our view across the day before as well but the conversation just seemed to go round and round in circles I even ended up in tears several times (and I do not do crying in front of other people, hell even Dave has hardly ever seen me cry as I don't like doing it in front of others!!) as I am so upset at the thought of putting her through everything Findlay has been through. The geneticist just kept saying that this time a baby wouldn't have to wait so long for everything to be done as they'd be anticipating the problems this time so whereas Findlay had to wait longer for things as they needed to try and exhaust every possible option and try and work out why he had the issues before resorting to things like continuous tube feeding, surgery etc whereas this time they'd do things quicker as they'd know the cause of the issues which yes may be true but that is not the point our point is thta she would still have to go through the stuff whether she went through it sooner or later.


Needless to say a complaint will be going in to the hospital/health board about what the geneticist said today and I have got an appt to see my gp tomorrow afternoon to speak to her about it and let her know how distressed I am by someone suggesting what he suggested

 

[Lianne1986]

im so sorry lottie hun. tht is just an awful thing to say and like dani said from he way i read it, it does sound like they are tryin to cover there own arses.

 

[you&me]

I would definately write in a letter of complaint, and copy it to four places: Your family GP, The hospital manager, The Primary Care Trust...and the Consultant's overhead if there is one.

They can't go around adding distress to your situation, you have enough to think about, and even if what he suggested was something you was even contemplating, then it is your decision to approach them for advice etc, not vice versa.

F**king undiplomatic idiot!!!!!!!!