Pregnancy after our preemies support thread!

[Sherri81]

Wow, Greg had eyelashes and nipples and he was born at 25 weeks.

Devon definately had long eyelashes, but I never unwrapped her long enough to see if she had nipples. I felt weird unwrapping a dead baby; especially since they let her cord really long and clamped, so my hand was always brushing something cold and hard, or cold and rubbery, if she was even slightly loosely wrapped.

You know, I wouldn't even know what to say to people anymore with their comments. Which is partially why I have refrained from telling people with this one. I think I tell more strangers about this pregnancy, than actual close friends and family, because the strangers can't comment since they don't know my history.

As for hospital bags... I don't even know what to do. I've never had one. With both, things happened so fast, so unexpectedly, and so early, that packing a hospital bag was nowhere in my thoughts...

I didn't want to make you feel guilty SB. Sorry. It's just you and Lianne are at like my goal gestation. And I want to fast forward and be where you are, or cut out my uterus with this baby in it, and just put it in one of you, because you both seem so much better at having babies than me.

 

[AP]

You know sherri, i used to feel like that, but realisation that Alex was 27 weeks, and she encountered more issues at birth than I've seen in some earlier babies, I realised it's not always about gestation. I wish it was sometimes, I'd feel better by the day.

Tough journey this, I tell you!

 

[nkbapbt]

I agree gestational age has little to do with future outcomes the more and more I talk to other preemie parents and just research premature births. I know so many 35 weekers with no brain bleeds who have really bad CP. I know 23 weekers who had no bleeds and are on track. It's such a gamble any way you toss it. That's why being a preemie mom is so tough! BAH!

Its not that preemies are born without nipples, lol they are just not that dark until later as their skin matures. Because if you notice Lakai's skin is very see through and not fully mature there, hence the lack of nipples despite the fact I have darker skin and more melatonin in my skin than most people due to being Cree and Hawaiian. And Lakai has the same skin colouring.

Lakai had eyelashes but they were very fair as were his eyebrows.

Since Sherri said her "magic" number, I am curious if everyone else has one? Mine is oddly 32-34 weeks. I am nervous about 35 weekers, I think the NICU nurses scared that into me. They were always saying "never trust a 35 weeker" and though I know plenty who are totally awesome, it's just something that stuck with me. Crazy!

 

[AP]

My one is 29 weeks. I know thats not much, but I was born then, thats my next one.
Then 34. Thats all I ask.

Nic I did think of the brain bleeds - both Alex and Lakai have the same grade yet they were born weeks apart, and were both so lucky to be where they are now after that. Every preemie is different. EVERY preemie is.

At my 20 week scan the sonographer checked babys brain and said everything looked perfect. I felt like screaming "That doesnt mean everything WILL be ok" My heart was in my mouth.

 

[Lottie86]

I am nervous about 35 weekers, I think the NICU nurses scared that into me. They were always saying "never trust a 35 weeker"

I'm not sure if I've got a magic number to be honest. At 35 wks Findlay should have needed to do nothing but feed and grow when he was born yet he had to be resuscitated when he was born and couldn't breathe on his own to start with. There was another baby in with him who was born the same afternoon at the exact same gestation and they needed no breathing help at all and went straight into the nursery whereas Findlay had to work his way through intensive care to high dependency to the nursery. Even the nurses said his issues were very very uncommon in a baby of his gestation.

To be honest my goal is exactly the same as it was when I was pregnant with Findlay, just to make it to 23/24 weeks and then just take it day by day from there.

RE nipples: You couldn't see Findlay's when he was born either

 

[AP]

Yep see - sorry to use lottie as an example - but Findlay is a lil tot, older than Alex. And he was a 35 weeker!

All we can wish for is healthy babies in the end, whatever happens.

PMA and

 

[nkbapbt]

Sorry Lottie, I didn't mean to make you feel like I was calling Finlay out there. =( I always stick my foot in my mouth!

I totally agree every preemie is different! Nipples or no nipples.

Sherri you should totally introduce Greg in the VIP sticky, you have no idea how much hope seeing a thriving older preemie give prem moms! Plus I am sort of curious to see a 25 weeker with nipples! lol.

 

[Sherri81]

you don't think its too late to add Greg to the VIP section?? I mean, this happened almost 7 years ago...

You know, there was a time when they thought Greg might have had a small bleed, maybe a grade 1 at the worst. But it was never confirmed, and he regained his tone etc after a day or so. Basically, he was desatting more and bradying more, and his muscle tone went floppy. So they called us in to let us know the worst case scenario, but since it was a holiday weekend, there was no one to run the CT scan. So we had to wait a day or so, but by then, he was back on track.

OMG, hearing that you can't trust a 35 weeker scares me! I never knew that was even a saying in the NICU. Hell, I thought all 35 weekers were like little monsters would would go home after 3 days. What the hell?? Why can't you trust a 35 weeker??

See, the gestation I pray to get to is 32-34 weeks. But 35 I thought would be perfect and I would ask them to remove the Shardkur and the baby at the same time, under general. Now I'm scared...

So hey, I had a HUGE, MASSIVE fight with my husband tonight. Like my blood pressure was so high I was seeing stars and my heart was just a thudding away... So anyways, I walked away once I felt like it was getting too much, and I started meditating right away to bring my blood pressure down, and it came down within 5-10 minutes. But the question is, do you think I hurt the baby at all with this?

 

[AP]

Sherri you won't hurt the baby with stress. It's generally stress and huuge shock that 'can' send you into labour, and that's pretty hard to do too. We're talking, masssssssive shock.

 

[nkbapbt]

Sorry I really didn't mean to scare you. It's just what I heard all the time. Not to mention the "toasterhead" comments referring to the toaster like shape some preemies heads take on. You have to understand that I spent almost 24/7 in the NICU, I was there morning, noon and night. I was and I am still very close with lots of people who work at the NICU, BC Children's and such. One of my closest friends is Lakai's ex neonatalogist (you probably met her Sherri)...so I probably know things I shouldn't! And likely shouldn't share.

Sorry ladies.



I am going to scare you again...but you should avoid get into situations like that right now Sherri. This is just my humble opinion, but drastic and repeated (not saying you fight all the time clearly) spikes in your blood pressure can cause preterm labor, and low birth weight babies. I am positive it would need to be more than one time though, so I wouldn't worry too much about this one time. Sandi is right...MASSIVE spikes and shock.

Try and take it easy. Easier said than done. I have had some dozy with my husband...mostly because well we haven't had sex in 13 friggin weeks.

On that note...let's TMI...So while at the doctor today, my husband ran back to the dr's office to ask the receptionist (who we know very very well) to ask our dr if we could have sex again. What I didn't know is he asked her to call ME on MY cell. So here I am waiting to check through at the fruit stand at the market. 5pm...tons of commuters there because it's right by the seabus (like a water bus). And I am listening to my voice mail on SPEAKER PHONE and I hear "Hey Nic, sorry but Dr. Schwarz said it would not be safe for Kyle and you to have intercourse right now, sorry sweetheart. Have a lovely weekend!"

Uh, thanks a bunch Queenie and my husband! LOL I will never listen to my vm again on speakerphone. Every person in line was staring at me. And really how do you explain that?

 

[AP]

Nooooooooway waaaay Nic



Sherri - yeah Greg would be of interest in the VIP section, most people who have just had preemies go googling and it's so much more nicer and 'real life' to hear about preemies that have grown up. Ykwim? I'm sure he's come a long way!

Well today is 27&3, when I went into labour with Alex. Holy fook.

 

[Lianne1986]

Morning Sandi! sending u

u must be feeling a lot of mixed emotions today?

 

[you&me]

SB

 

[AP]

I am, it's weird, there was a bit of excitement leading up to it.

I don't remember a hell of a lot that day because I was in a bad way that whole week(a lot of horrible stuff had happened) i had been to the doctor two days before begging them to help me but the doctor just signed me off for the rest of the week. :/

It was a totally normal day apart from the crap though. OH had gone to work at 4pm, i was in pain but it went away.so I went to the shops to stock up on chocolate

On the way back I decided I couldn't be arsed cooking. So I stopped at the chippy. I only bought a bag of chips, and told them getting back up the street took me forever for some reason!

In the house I settled down, had my chips and went for a shower.

I came on here and sat down with a malteasers ice cream. I started having pains so i Posted a thread in third tri.

oH got home from work just then so I called nhs 24 and they made an outpatients appointment for midnight.

It was contractions, but the dude at outpatients had no idea, neither did the midwives at triage until 2am. I'm not sure if I was just dealing with the pain well, or just didn't express it as much as I should have. They left me and OH in a room for an hour u til I ended up shouting a swear word. They came and I was 9cm dilated.

oH caught one of the midwifes who was looking after me in tears, she'd obviously got an arse kicking for leaving me.

So, moral of the story? When in labour, shout. oh and shave your legs. You just never know....

 

[Lianne1986]

oh sb.

the shaving the legs bit made me laugh, b4 i went to the hospital i shaved my legs just in case

no1 believed i was in labour with tyler either. they was gonna send me home. at the point of me havin him they only thought he was 4 weeks early. my dates got mixed up.

they left tyler struggling to breathe for almost 8 hours b4 they took him down to SCBU.
then at 3am the dr woke me and told me he had deteriorated and needed takin to another hospital to b ventilated, i started to get up and get myself and things 2gether only to b told i wouldnt be allowed to go. but i could go dwnstairs to scbu and sit with him whilst they stabalised him, at 1st i said no. i thought he was goin to die and i thought the less i saw of him the easier it wud of been to say goodbye if i needed to. something i will regret thinking foreva. i did go down to see him. i had had stitches and sitting down was horrible and it wa sso uncomfy lol

then the scbu nurses made me wave bye to him at the door. tht has to be the hardest thing i have eva eva eva had to do.

the hospital i was at wanted to keep me in, but i made my mum cum and pick me up the next day i told the nurse if they didnt dischare me i would discharge myself, i wanted to get to my baby.

sorry to ramble on, its been a while since i spoke about this

 

[AP]

Don't be daft lianne, it's good to get it out!

It's funny how you think medics are prepared for these possibilities. The midwife who discharged me said if they had sent me home we would have had no chance. :/ tbh I doubt I would have got home, or even out the hospital doors lol, I was blind with pain.

Makes you realise. I'll be going into hospital foot stamping and they'll bloody see to me, believe me

 

[Lianne1986]

yea i think this time if i have so much as a twinge i'll be straight in there haha.

i dont care how stupid i'll look lol x

 

[AP]

Girls I posted in third tri because I have a concern and I'm sure you're think I'm bound to be paranoid today but its really not about that:/ but can yous have a peek?

 

[Lianne1986]

ur def not bein paranoid. just causious. even if u get checked to put ur mind at ease xx

 

[AP]

They r gna look at my profile and go-PARANOID BIRD.