Pregnancy after our preemies support thread!

[AP]

Honestly I can't quite believe the statement from the OP here. Sandi, you are one calm lady to have put this quite as well as you have.

The thread has been great and it will be great in the future to look at the stats, it would be a shame to have it let down.

I completely understand how gestation can be a sore subject when you are a mum to a preemie.Both ways. There's the

A)How come their baby was gestationally younger yet less issues
Or
B) Their baby was gestationally older and therefore they haven't had it as hard.

It took me a long time to fully understand it wasn't about gestation. I still have pangs of jealousy when i seen near-term preemies on here, i will admit, but i will never say anything other than give my support. One day in NICU or 100, is one too many.

I used to be very bitter towards others because they had an older (gestationally speaking) preemie, but I have learnt a massive deal on Baby And Bump, and through friends and Bliss, and Dona's Bliss meetings. And lottie's experience opened my eyes when I met her here.

There isn't a place for it. Every preemie, every story is different.

 

[indy and lara]

Honestly I can't quite believe the statement from the OP here. Sandi, you are one calm lady to have put this quite as well as you have.

The thread has been great and it will be great in the future to look at the stats, it would be a shame to have it let down.

I completely understand how gestation can be a sore subject when you are a mum to a preemie.Both ways. There's the

A)How come their baby was gestationally younger yet less issues
Or
B) Their baby was gestationally older and therefore they haven't had it as hard.

It took me a long time to fully understand it wasn't about gestation. I still have pangs of jealousy when i seen near-term preemies on here, i will admit, but i will never say anything other than give my support. One day in NICU or 100, is one too many.

I used to be very bitter towards others because they had an older (gestationally speaking) preemie, but I have learnt a massive deal on Baby And Bump, and through friends and Bliss, and Dona's Bliss meetings. And lottie's experience opened my eyes when I met her here.

There isn't a place for it. Every preemie, every story is different.

I think when you have been on the otherside of pregnancy you have a different view.

I went into labour at 35 weeks this time and never expected,even at that point to have a baby who was okay for 2 hours and then stop breathing. The docs expected her to go to NICU but with a APGAR of 9 we thought we were out of the woods but we weren't and still ended up at NICU.

Then on the otherside of the coin I found it very, very hard to cope after Bobo died, hearing about other 24 weekers who survived. And yes, as unpretty as it is to admit, I was jealous. But Bobo's situation was unique to him and his own set of circumstances.

 

[nkbapbt]

I think it's 100% natural to be jealous hon. I don't think even thinking "why me" or "why my child" is wrong. I have to admit when I talk about Lakai and how he is doing apart of me feels bad, like I am bragging and though I am not...I hate to think of the preemie mom's who have 23-24 weekers who didn't survive or who are not doing well that might be hurt, jealous or sadden by reading it.

 

[aob1013]

Jealousy is so so so so normal!

I was saying to sb22 only last week how only now, nearly 6 months months after it all happened how i am only now starting to get jealous of other mums near full term. I am aslo jealous of the nurses (who i am thankful for as they saved his life and worked so hard) who changed his first nappy, held him first, touched him first, looked into his eyes first, gave him MY milk first, responded to his cried first, doing my job because my body is so shit and i couldn't do it myself!!!

 

[AP]

I think it's 100% natural to be jealous hon. I don't think even thinking "why me" or "why my child" is wrong.

Course not, it's part of the healing process, as is discussing this as well, because I'm sure we will all have had something to think about tonight, and I hope we can all help each other to accept our situations and in turn respect others.

 

[25weeker]

Indy and Lara I feel the same as you wondering why couldn't both my girls have survived. I would imagine it's perfectly normal but doesn't make it easier.

Lottie my mum lives in NI and if I were to get pregnant again I wouldn't tell her until I really needed too. In other words until I couldn't hide it anymore! My mum is such a worrier and I couldn't deal with her panicking as well as my own fears!

Don't belong in this thread but like to know how everyone is doing. You are all very brave taking the plunge again. I am not sure I ever will!

 

[Lottie86]

HAPPY 30 WEEKS SANDI!!!! I'm sooooo thrilled for you to have got this far

 

[AP]

Ooooooh myyyyy gooooood!?!

 

[you&me]

Happy happy 30 weeks SB.....yay!!!

I watched one born every minute on catch up last night, and there was a midwife who said something along the terms of: 'no woman who goes through childbirth is a failure, how can they be? Regardless of how baby comes out etc, having a child is not a failure'...it was something like that anyway...so so true, I never ever looked at it like that before.

Ally, your body is not shit!!

Lottie, just seen your new ticker....does that mean bubba in the oven is a girly?

 

[Lottie86]

I have no idea what bump is Boy would be better for us really as unless we end up having to build an extension to provide a downstairs bedroom and wetroom for Findlay then they'll both be sharing a room.


Feeling a bit sorry for myself today as I have run out of my antisickness tablets (should be getting new supply on Thursday ) and so I feel pants. I've been sick 3 times this morning already and I'm still feeling really queasy so I'm all shaky and wobbly which isn't great when it comes to carrying Findlay around everywhere. I can't wait until my prescriptions arrive back at the gps!!

 

[aob1013]

I can't wait to feel sick again hehe!

 

[aob1013]

Oh and Happy 30 weeks Sandie! Soo happy for you!

 

[Mumof42009]

Sorry to butt in on your thread lovely ladies, I drop by now and again to keep up with how your pregnancy's are going and could not believe anybody would ever say they class 30 weeks as term doesn't matter what gestation up until 37 weeks its classed as premature.
Happy 30 weeks sb xx

 

[you&me]

I saw the post, but didn't comment earlier.

30 weeks is far from term...my first was born at 29 weeks, weighing just 2lbs 5ozs and spent 7 weeks in NICU/SCBU...

 

[AP]

You&me, I was born just after 29 weeks!

You know, its funny, i never understood prematurity at all when I was young. My dad used to get drunk and tell me how i weighed just less than a bag of sugar, and i used to reply "Yeah yeah i know" but when you're younger you dont even think about what that actually means!
And i remember telling someone at school that my mum had me nearly 3 months early and they said "That's impossible"
If only I could show them now.....

How has everyones days been?

I woke up certain my FFN test was today, its not, it's tomorrow

Alex slept all night no complaints, without a bedtime bottle! I got into the habit of using it to get her to sleep but last night she drank milk about an hour before bed so refused anymore. i popped her into her cot and it was touch and go but after a bit of grumbling, she went to sleep. We were delighted, it was the one habit we needed to break before baby arrives.

Watch this, ive jinxed it now

My double buggy is up! so i had a mess around yesterday while DH was at work

https://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs254.snc6/180266_499747444317_514829317_5909783_6789202_n.jpg

 

[clairec81]

Happy 30 sandi! Love the double buggy. We got a side-by-side but i love yours, baby is gonna be v comfy in there and Alex looks happy with her new seat too.

 

[AP]

Hey girlies, how r we all doing. You're too quiet!

I Had another positive ffn test today , but had an unexpected scan too which was a nice surprise. My update is in my journal (just click my pregnancy ticker and it'll take you there)

 

[Anna_due Dec]

I saw the post, but didn't comment earlier.

30 weeks is far from term...my first was born at 29 weeks, weighing just 2lbs 5ozs and spent 7 weeks in NICU/SCBU...

ok i agree that 30 weeks is far from term BUT at the risk of being unpopular. I don't know if anyone has noticed the mummy in questions tickers. Maybe "term" is the wrong word but "great chance of survival and no long term implications" would probably be accurate. I've had a variety of prems 27, 31 and 34 weeks so i've spent a lot of time in the nicu and i know the number doesn't indicate size or health but the statistics are good. I think she was just saying from her perspective 30 weeks is a gestation that for her seems like a dream...In fact i think she was saying "congratulations you're at a pretty safe level" For me i just wanted to get to 34 weeks, for others just getting to 24 is enough. We've discussed "perspective" before. I agree we need to be careful about what we say but as i said take a look at he tickers and i'll think you can see what "perspective" she's looking from. I don't think she meant any harm. Having said that i'm hoping everyone reaches the magic 38 weeks xx

 

[nkbapbt]

I think you have a point Anna...and maybe it's totally what she meant. I don't think I feel personally comfortable assuming on her behalf though. All I can say is, while I respect her situation...she has been following this thread (maybe not super closely but she has been in and out) and knows how stressed Sandi is..so to say to a woman who is stressed in the manor in which it was said (what I found most upsetting myself) was the main issue IMO.

Not to mention Sandi was born at 29 weeks..so let's face it all around that comment hits home for Sandi in a few ways. I would think? Sandi correct me if I am wrong?!

 

[AP]

Yeah.

But its not the first time on this thread or forum that someones been hurt by her. Sorry its the second time ive been made to feel like ive got this far and shouldnt worry.