Pregnant AGAIN!!! How do I tell my parents... Please no judging...

[ColorMeFamous]

Here I'll kind of give you ladies some insight. About four and a half montgs ago I found out I was pregnant. I was terrified! I just cried and cried. I wasn't ready and knew this was a terrible yime for a baby. It would interfere with school and everything else. I sat down a week later and talked to my baby. I asked that she leave me and her sister for just a little while until I could have a more stable environment for the two. I asked that when she came back that she give me a sign. (I know, it sounds weird but I was desperatr!) That day I had the worst cramps, sweats, nausea, and ended up miscarrying. I was a wreck but I knew it was best for the time being. I found out after 7 DPO that I was pregnant with this one. I had no symptoms or anything but just felt like it. It was 7 days before I was supposed to get on mirena! That would have killed my baby had I not found out way early! I have been given two due dates, one on my daughter's due date and the other on her birthday! May it's a coincidence but I honestly feel like I'm supposed to keep this baby. It would be right after school ends and I'd have time to adjust before it started again. The timing is perfect! I don't know if this makes any sense but it just seems like too big of a coincidence to me. Unlike the last baby, when I found out I had the biggest tears of joy! I don't know... what do you ladies think? Am I reading too much into this?

 

[DessyMarie]

Hey girl,

I literally just turned 20 in October. I was in the exact same boat with you. My daughter is 15 months, and I found out I was pregnant with my second just before my daughter's first birthday. My mother never took my first pregnancy well at all.... so of course I was terrified to tell her about my second one not even a year later. She wasn't "happy" about the second one... but she definitely didn't take it nearly as bad probably because she had seen me with my first child and knew I was capable. But I did tell her within two weeks of finding out because I wanted to give her as much time as possible to come around, also so that she wasn't resentful of me telling everyone before her. Now shes as happy as can be! I hope this helps, and good luck! xxx

 

[ColorMeFamous]

Awe! I hope my mom takes it that well... do you live on your own? I am so nervous for this other one. Did you just know you were keeping it? Are you a single mommy?? Ughhh I'm so torn about what to do.

 

[amygwen]

It's totally up to you, I would honestly tell them as soon as possible because it will be SO stressful for you to keep it from your parents. Especially if you get morning sickness or something and you need vomit, your parents will get more suspicious then anything. It'd be easier if you told them now so you have their support. And if you do consider adoption - you can have their support for that as well. Good luck!!

 

[DessyMarie]

Awe! I hope my mom takes it that well... do you live on your own? I am so nervous for this other one. Did you just know you were keeping it? Are you a single mommy?? Ughhh I'm so torn about what to do.

Yes I do live on my own. I have since I found out I was expecting my first (she kicked me out the first time around). Also I knew the minute I found out, I was keeping her(this one is also a girl, or at least supposed to be), I figured I have one already and it'll be nice for my daughter to have a sibling close in age. Besides, this child was with the guy I have my first daughter with so of course that was another factor that meant something to me. Unfortunately, yes I am a single mother now... him and I broke up the day of my daughters first birthday party. He's in her life; however he doesn't pay support, doesn't buy her anything, doesn't work, and he no longer lives with me as he moved out. But you know what? I have a 15 month old, no man to take care of me or my children, working full time, and carrying another child at 22 weeks. It's so so hard, but Im doing it, and ust feeling Olivia move around inside me is worth every single bit of it. It's been the thing that's been keeping my head up through all of this. I was with my OH for almost 3 years, and though I left him... I didn't want to, I just didn't have a choice as he wouldn't grow up and had a second child on the way. And honestly, you need to do whats right in your heart. Do what YOU want to do. This is an issue where you need to let your heart decide whats right for you, because this baby growing is going to be apart of you.

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

Didn't you say in you post on 4th Nov that you weren't preventing pregnancy and was hoping for a baby? Just wondering why now you are pregnant you are wanting to give baby away?

 

[x__amour]

Just like the first time. They're your parents, they love you.

 

[vermeil]

Hello,

Just wanted to chime in... you know, adopted babies gets lots of love, affection and good care too. Perhaps I just have a different perspective but some people wait for YEARS to adopt. They want nothing more than to give a baby 100% of their love and care. You would be giving them the gift of a lifetime. Prospective adoptive parents go through careful screening and you can choose the lucky couple.

Just coming from someone who took years to conceive our baby, I was seriously thinking of adoption and I was told the wait was years and years! I would cry over it. We just wanted a baby to love.

Of course it`s 100% your choice, just wanted to offer a different point of view good luck

 

[missmiylove]

I know we're not supposed to be judging & all....

but you said you had gotten pregnant 4 months ago- wouldnt that have been a lesson that you should just use protection or make sure you're with a guy that actually gives a crap? esp since you have a child already you know how hard it is. Sometimes apparently ppl dont learn from their mistakes the 1st or 2nd time. So i think you should keep the child. A baby doesnt NEED a father to be happy. & I did see that you were in the trying to conceive section...why would u think of givingg it up now?

 

[ColorMeFamous]

I did use protection. As I said we used double protection. I was on the pill and he used a condom. He cares. We have been talking recently and he said he will come to the ultrasound, that he doesn't want to fight and that he will support me through this. Do you think I should keep it so I "learn my lesson?" I was in the 2WW section because I felt I was pregnant although I had no symptoms. I never said I'd keep it. I was just waiting the two weeks.

 

[wannabemomy37]

I don't think there is any need to judge at all.

I do think, though, it is a "sign" if you used 2 forms of birth control and still got pregnant. God only gives you obstacles that you can handle. Especially along with your story about your pregnancy 4 months ago, I would say something is telling you to step up to the plate and raise this baby.
You're also only 7 weeks so I would honestly think it's way way way too early to even be thinking about adoption!! If you plan on carrying it until term anyways, then you have quite some time to think about it, and honestly if you feel it moving inside you and get to see all the ultrasounds and hear all of the heartbeats....I think you'll want to keep it.
I think you have plenty of time ahead of you, and if he is starting to turn around now then I think it will all work out just fine. I think you should relax and enjoy the pregnancy while you can, before you start feeling the sickness of it all!!
Tell your parents when you feel comfortable, however definitely don't wait TOO long, or it will only come aorund and bite you in the ass in the long run.
Please feel free to PM me anytime and we can talk more.
I wish you tons and tons of luck in whatever decision you make, honey.

 

[DessyMarie]

She's here for support... not to be judged.

 

[ClairAye]

If people know you're not supposed to judge, then don't judge!
I'm afraid I'm rubbish at advice, but I hope you come to a decision that makes you happy

 

[ColorMeFamous]

Haha thanks ladies. Like I get it's a bad situation. I feel absolutelu terrible that my children have two abswnt fathers. I didn't mean for this to happen. We were so careful. This child obviously has a reason to be here. What's done is done and I have decided to not abort this child so I will deal with it as I please. I will make the best decision for both children even if it means I have to give it up. What someone says over the internet is not going to change what I choose to do for my children.

 

[Stevensmummyx]

Just keep this in mind,

If you choose to give the baby up for adoption, how will you answer the question when he/she is older 'why did you give only me up and not my sister' because if the only reason is because of the father situation you've got to be prepared to answer that x

 

[ColorMeFamous]

Well it wouldn't just be that. It would be because I can't financially support the both of them. That I couldn't give them the life they deserve.

 

[Stevensmummyx]

But its not really fair to just give away one child because of the situation, I'm not trying to be nasty or anything I just have a nack for looking at things from all angles I'm just thinking about this baby growing up, being curious about its mum, wanting to get into contact and then realising that she already has another child that she has kept x

 

[ColorMeFamous]

I understans it's good to have lots of perspectives! I talked to people that were looking to adopt just to get an idea of what it may be like. I said I wanted to be involved in the child's life and I wanted the child I have now and any future children to be involved with the adoptive baby. I asked if they would ever be open to something like that and they said absolutely. So idk. There are so many options nowadays!

 

[kajastarlight]

YOU CAN DO IT! ) but you will need a lot of support. I personally suggest first, come up with a plan - how will you deal with Dr. Apts and school? Is there a Dr. You can go to that is open when you are not in school? What do you plan to do if you end up needing bed rest? Will your school let you take time off and then resume courses right where you left off? These will be things you can plan even if you are still contemplating adoption. Then plan for what you will do when baby comes. Daycare? Babysitter trade off? A pediatrician you can take baby to that's hours will be convenient for school and then work. THEN tell your parents the good news and your plan. I bet they will be happy knowing you have thought this through and acceptance will come easy. And I was a single Mom of 2 for years. It is hard, but sooooooo worth it!

 

[ColorMeFamous]

Yikes. Quite a bit to think about!
I have school at different times so I should have time to see a dr I've gone to one appointment this semester and I'll be able to make my ultrasound as well! If I need to go on bed rest I don't think it shuld be an issue because I am due at the end of july... school ends in may. I hope I don't have to :/ that would suck! The director of my program knows what's going on and is really supportive so I hope it goes well! My daughter is in a dayhome. I had her in a daycare at 1 month old when I went bac to school I hope they are accepting of the baby :/ awe were you?? Any tips?!