Lets be positive together! lol

I haven't got my deck yet, but as soon as I have and feel confident I'll practice on you and then you can tell if you think I'm getting the hang of it

My cousin said the best one to start with is a Rider Waite.
The strange thing is, generally I have no belief, faith or trust in anything unless I can see it with my two eyes.
But after ttc for such a long time and going through so much crap. My attitude now is, whats the worse that can happen? nothing worse than i've already experienced.
I have been pregnant twice, the first took me 3 years to conceive ( I did have one failed attempt at iui in that time) and I fell when I wasn't trying it was a complete shock, but I had a m/c at 6 weeks. Which at the time was the worst thing I thought could possibly happen.
Then 6 months later I feel pregnant again, this time I thought the worse that can happen is ectopic, and I really believe now that because I thought that, was the reason it happened, (a bit superstitious I know) and there were so many complications, it all ended at 8-9 weeks with a ruptured ectopic, severe internal bleeding and emergency surgery. I lost my left tube. and was told I was "very lucky". But at the time I felt very unlucky. I had been in and out of hospital from 5 weeks,(scans, every 48 hour hcg checks) and twice I was told I m/c and twice I was told I had P.U.L, (pregnancy unknown location). not once did they spot the ectopic.
This all happened in June last year.
Its only been since last month, that I decided I'm trying again, but this time not one negative vibe is going to escape my body.
I go to university and I am just coming up to the end of my 2nd year studying fine art.
I didn't know wether to continue next year or take a gap year, it wasn't in my heart to stay, and you need a bit of heart to do art, so I decided to get my first reading (this year) and I got the Gail one, she told me :
Linking in around you, Im shown that your path is about to send a lot of changes to you, and mainly these will be connecting to pregnancy, which I feel your very much awaiting
Im shown you do worry this wont come into your life, and because I sense this is something you want quite badly it can cause a bit of frustration around you, but spirit want to assure you that happier times are ahead and that 2011 will be very highlighted around positive change for you.
As soon as she predicted it would happen soon (she said conceive april, bfp may) it confirmed for me that i wasn't going back to uni, and i was now actively ttc, i went out i got my prenatal vitamins, agnus castus, opk's, cbfm i was like 'its on!" lol
Talmom, with regards to your long cycles, what have the doctors said,have they always been long?
i think to get you your bfp as predicted we need to get that

under control.
did you try agnus castus? its supposed to help regulate cycles, also evening primrose is supposed to be good too. and acupuncture and reflexology may work for you too. i had acupuncture last year before i fell pregnant i fell in the second month of having it. i'm going to look online see if i can find anything else that can help. also next month i'll let you no if the cbfm is worth getting, i expect for you it would be good at pinpointing when you ov, ho long is your cycle at the moment? and the other thing, do you have a fertility friend chart?
i think i might have just bombarded you, lol i wrote you a novel to read! enjoy dear. xx






