questions for those who cosleep or used to cosleep

[flowers04]

my lo is 3 months old and we have recently put her in her cot, i am very keen for her to learn to self settle but this just isn't happening

the past few nights she has been waking up after sleeping for an hour so i give her a dummy - she constantly spits this out and starts crying so i end up bringing her in our bed, i then feed her and she goes to sleep

what i wanted to know was those that co sleep or used to co sleep how did you find putting lo into cot afterwards - did it take a long time for them to settle - what problems did you come across?

i enjoy having lo in the bed but i don't want it to become difficult later down the line

even in the day she won't settle to sleep herself, has to breastfeed or be rocked to sleep - i know this is a bad habit but i don't know what to do

what is best, should i continue to try putting her in the cot and then bring her to our bed or is it okay to co-sleep and then try put her in the cot from 6 months?

i'd love to hear your experiences - thanks

 

[mommyof3co]

With my 2 that we coslept with we did it until 11mo and then my youngest until 12mo, that was all night. My youngest is 27mo and he still comes to our bed in the middle of the night. I found it was much easier moving them when they could understand what bedtime was and I knew they knew what I was saying. When I moved Casen to his crib in his own room at 11mo he slept through from day 1 it wasn't an issue at all. Hayden has done well but we like him coming in our room at night so we haven't stopped that

 

[princessellie]

she used to take a long time to settle, but i got to the end of my tether one night and left her in the cot to cry, it sounds awful i know but i was just so wound up with her crying, anyway she cried for about an hour then fell asleep, its a bit extreme i know but since then if i put her in the cot she will self settle quite quickly, 5-10mins (ish) she does have a cry first and i feel bad listening to her but i know it works and i know she will still love me in the morning hehe

i used to cosleep quite a bit but since i got pregnant i am worried she will kick me, cos she is quite a kicky baby, plus i didnt want her to feel abandoned when the new baby arrives and she is suddenly put into her cot and the new baby is in the bed lol, so i put her back into her cot next to my bed, we often fall asleep with her holding my hand, just so she knows im still there, which is severely cute lol

x

 

[TigerLady]

Personally, I don't think it is a bad habit that they need forced out of by a certain age. I have been following my LO's lead on when he is ready to be more on his own.

When he was a newborn he needed held everytime he slept -- around the clock. Now, at nearly 5 months, he has progressed to taking naps on his own in his cot or on his play mat and self soothing to sleep about 30% of the time (the rest I rock him to sleep and then lay him down). He also sleeps in his Arms Reach co-sleeper for the first half of the night and then bed shares the second half.

When he was 3 months old I was still rocking him to sleep every night and bed sharing 100% of the night. I just consistently try to move him toward more independance -- putting him down when he is tired and letting him try to self soothe. But picking him back up if he starts crying (I let him fuss for several minutes, but don't let him cry). I put him down on his own when he falls asleep, but pick him back up if he wakes and won't resettle. By doing this, he has slowly progressed to staying on his own more often.

If he doesn't feel well he gets extra cuddles and I don't try to make him sleep on his own unless he wants to. I actually find now that I have to put him down for him to sleep soundly (which is different from even 2-3 months ago).

TBH, you will probably find loads of parents (in this section especially) that don't try to force their LOs to be independant right away and don't think that co-sleeping and nursing to sleep establish bad habits.

 

[JennTheMomma]

My son is 2 years old and still co-sleeps, and he will continue to do so until he feels he's ready to stop. Hunter takes naps by himself and can self settle. I don't have to do anything, he just falls asleep by himself. At 3 months he still had colic and needed to be rocked asleep. I don't think you can force your child to be independant. Independance is something that happens with time and guidence.

 

[Blob]

I co slept with Tabs until she was around 5 months, she just seemed to want her own space. Now even if she wakes up she wont sleep with us Guess it all depends on the child?
She couldnt put herself to sleep and i still need to hug her at night but then she does sleep fine. If she wakes up in the night she puts herself back to sleep. It just came naturally

 

[Rosella]

I found that neither myself nor my baby were sleeping that well when co-sleeping - she would feed on and off all night, and as she got bigger would thrash her legs and arms which were continuously waking me up! i felt exhausted!!! From about 3 months i kept putting her in her moses basket - she didn't necessarily stay there all night though, and when she got to 5 months we moved to a bigger flat and I was able to put her in a cot in her own room. I think this has made a massive difference to the quality of her sleep and mine!

I had to ease her into the cot though - i would use the technique to feed her to sleep and then put her in asleep - once she was a bit more used to being in there i tried to make a conscious effort to put her in her cot awake. I find she goes to sleep easily at night - usually because she is exhausted, but it can still be a battle to get her to nap going into the cot awake during the day. If she is ready to nap it's not a problem but if the timing is off then she just won't sleep. i have found that having a daytime routine has really helped too - i know exactly how much she has eaten and slept each day - and that makes a huge difference at night - and hence how easily she will go to sleep when put into the cot. At least you can rule out hunger as an issue. Breaking the feeding and rocking associations with sleep are difficult but i think you have to be consistent about it and just work at putting her down in the cot awake. Give her some time to settle - if she isn't then pick her up or stroke her - or whatever feels comfortable for you. You can also feed her till she's just about to drop off and then pop her in the cot. I think the longer you leave it the more difficult the habits are to break. Clearly for some/ lots of people it is not an issue to co-sleep for ages etc as per the replies above - i think it is such a personal thing in terms of what is right for you and your baby! i have had to go back to work and just knew i couldn't function on the quality of sleep i was getting. Good luck!!