Rainbows after the storm (late loss/stillbirth/neonatal loss/sids)

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better to do it your self amjon then you can control the speed lol
 
Hi ladies I need a bit of advice if possible. Have any of you changed your consultant once you got pregnant and had already started your care plan?? I am really not impressed with my consultant and have not been happy with how she has treated me. I have had to chase letters she should have sent me such as my care plan and test results. When I went for 1 appointment she told me I shouldn't bother tracking my temperature and ovulation and she rolled her eyes at me and treated me like I was about 15. She told me that the hospital would be clear on my care plan once I contacted them when got BFP and it has been a right farce and I have had to push for everything she told me I should get. I am meeting with a community midwife on monday and I told her during a telephone chat on friday some of the issues I have had with the consultant and she said she is known for not having a very nice manner and has suggested I could change to another consultant but he might have a slightly different idea of my care plan?? what are your thoughts should I stay with the one I started with and grin and bear it or should I change to somebody who is meant to be a nicer person to deal with??
 
dextersmum said:
Hi ladies I need a bit of advice if possible. Have any of you changed your consultant once you got pregnant and had already started your care plan?? I am really not impressed with my consultant and have not been happy with how she has treated me. I have had to chase letters she should have sent me such as my care plan and test results. When I went for 1 appointment she told me I shouldn't bother tracking my temperature and ovulation and she rolled her eyes at me and treated me like I was about 15. She told me that the hospital would be clear on my care plan once I contacted them when got BFP and it has been a right farce and I have had to push for everything she told me I should get. I am meeting with a community midwife on monday and I told her during a telephone chat on friday some of the issues I have had with the consultant and she said she is known for not having a very nice manner and has suggested I could change to another consultant but he might have a slightly different idea of my care plan?? what are your thoughts should I stay with the one I started with and grin and bear it or should I change to somebody who is meant to be a nicer person to deal with??
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I'm seriously considering changing because of one doctor that may be on call when I have an emergency. He already nearly killed our baby when he told me you don't need progesterone before 4 weeks (and the baby isn't attached to anything yet) and refused to call it in. :growlmad: Luckily GNC sells a cream OTC that worked enough to keep our LO in there until I could get the prescription one. He has no idea what he is doing and I don't want to take the chance he's the only one on call again (any of the others including the MW would be fine with me).
 
Hi ladies! I am new to this site, but was so happy to see this thread! Hubby & I lost our 9 day old daughter, Evelynn, on July 28, 2011, & they are still unsure what the problem was. Their best guess is a recessive Mitochondrial Disorder, which means we possibly have the 1:4 odds of this happening again. But, we decided to take a chance & I am now 16 weeks pregnant with our rainbow. It has been a stressful 16 weeks, but we are doing the best we can (as I'm sure you all can relate). Congrats to all of you on your soon-to-be rainbows & it is nice to find some others who understand this journey... :)

Jenn
 
dextersmum said:
Hi ladies I need a bit of advice if possible. Have any of you changed your consultant once you got pregnant and had already started your care plan?? I am really not impressed with my consultant and have not been happy with how she has treated me. I have had to chase letters she should have sent me such as my care plan and test results. When I went for 1 appointment she told me I shouldn't bother tracking my temperature and ovulation and she rolled her eyes at me and treated me like I was about 15. She told me that the hospital would be clear on my care plan once I contacted them when got BFP and it has been a right farce and I have had to push for everything she told me I should get. I am meeting with a community midwife on monday and I told her during a telephone chat on friday some of the issues I have had with the consultant and she said she is known for not having a very nice manner and has suggested I could change to another consultant but he might have a slightly different idea of my care plan?? what are your thoughts should I stay with the one I started with and grin and bear it or should I change to somebody who is meant to be a nicer person to deal with??
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Tracy...I have been grinning and bearing it my whole pregnancy staying with the Dr. that I had with RJ and I actually just fired her today, 4 weeks before I give birth. I say go with you gut instincts...I ignored mine the whole pregnancy. She never listens to me or my concerns and keeps telling me that things are fine. She has always been extremely patronizing and condescending, luckily I also have an OB that has been taking care of me too and will continue my care until the baby is born and I will need to find another GP for my post natal and baby care. I would change now if you are already feeling uncomfortable.

Welcome Jenn...I am sorry for the loss of your little girl but so happy for you and your rainbow!
 
Welcome Jenn, sorry for the loss of your little girl but congratulations on your rainbow. It really is a scary time!!
I have my 12 week scan on 26th November and am terrified! Not sure why as i've never had a bad scan - just have a horrible feeling. Hoping its just because of past experiences that i'm not letting myself get attached or letting myself think things might actually work out this time. :shrug:
Kristin i'm glad you went with your instinct and fired the dr. Its so important to be confident in your care , its an anxious enough time already!! Xx
 
ladies thanks for your advice. I have spoken to my community midwife and she has recommended another consultant who she said has a lovely manner. She agrees I should have been treated better and she is going to talk to the male consultant to see if he will take over my care. My apt with the community midwife didn't go to great as the computer records she has for me still showed my last pregnancy and told me I should be 25 weeks pregnant and she couldn't delete the record as somebody at the hospital should have done that when I had my mc in July. The midwife was so embarassed and could not apologise enough. I just had to laugh at this cockup and say "now you see what I am having to deal with"
 
Jenn welcome to the group. Sorry to hear about your loss hope this is your rainbow baby x
 
going to meet a new consultant on thursday 15th Nov after my next scan so hopefully I will have more success with him.

How is every body doing??
 
Thats great Tracy, hopefully he'll be much better and you'll feel comfortable with your pregnancy in his hands. :thumbup:
Kristin, you've been quiet - isthat baby behaving in there?!?
 
I am feeling much better. I am home now which feels soooo nice and will be making 3x a week trips to the hospital for tests which I am happy about. I have another ultrasound coming in a week and a half which is fun to see baby moving around. Last Friday it was chewing on its foot and I think I know what we are having but I am still keeping it a secret! lol

Sounds like with all of my pre-term contractions and headaches he will be inducing me at 38 weeks. Which means only 3 weeks give or take a few days and I get to attempt my vaginal birth. Pretty positive day yesterday. Bubs has been a rockstar with all of its NSTs and everything so I really haven't had a chance to worry about the baby yet which is great!

Thank you for all the of the support Ladies! Love having you all here!
 
Hi Ladies

I am having a bit of a rocky day today and thought it might help to write it down. I am feeling apprehensive and overwhelmed and am currently in tears. I have been having negative what if thoughts today that I can't stop. Not feeling the same symptoms today and am questioning if something is going wrong with this pregnancy.

I am trying to get on with my life as normal as possible although I am not sure what normal is anymore because I know I am not who I was before losing Dexter and suffering mc's. I was talking to my family yesterday about organising what we are going to do at Christmas but today I don't even know if I am going to be strong enough to want to be with people at christmas and I have volunteered to have every body at our house on christmas night.

My step daugthers baby is due at the end of this month and I just want him to arrive and so we can move on from her being pregnantand learn how to cope with having a step grand child when all I want is Dexter or my own baby in my arms. her and her boyfriend are coming over on sunday (he has never bothered coming to visit before so makes me think there is an alterior motive - just my suspicisious mind probably)

I am self employed and there have been some pretty big changes in my business over the last 6 months which means I have less work and less income coming in and on one hand that is fine as it is giving me time to be at home relaxing during the first trimester and looking after our puppy but I am also getting freaked out about it but I also don't feel in the right place to grow my business. I should be going to an exhibition today but in is nearly lunch time and I haven't made a move to go because I just don't have the motivation and I am also a little scared and I don't know why???

To top it all I ordered photo calenders of Dexter for christmas presents and they have just arrived which is what made me cry because I would so much rather have him here than be sharing him on photos :cry:

maybe these irrational thoughts and masses of emotions are the pregnancy symptoms that are showing up today. Think I need to lie down and take a nap.

Sorry this is such a rant just needed to share it to get it out of my head :wacko:

Does any body else get like this or is it just me :nope:
 
glad you are home now Kristin and things are progressing nicely x
 
Oh Tracy its not just you at all.:hugs:
I'm not sure i've even really accepted i'm pregnant yet - either that or i'm not letting myself think things might be ok just in case they're not...self preservation and all that.:shrug:
I have all the 'what if's' in my mind constantly too - and i don't expect them to go away anytime soon. I haven't really had any symptoms at all for the last couple of weeks and keep thinking the worst, its so hard not to when you've had experience of these things happening isn't it?
The calenders are such a lovely idea - very sad to see when all you wish is for the real thing - but i'm sure they are beautiful and everyone you have got them for will really love them.
Sometimes the worry and emotion all build up too much for me too. I am fine for a while then have a mini meltdown. I think it's probably something all of us on this thread do?
I don't really know what to say about work - you are going through such a lot of emotions at the moment i imagine its hard to focus on anything extra. Try not to be too hard on yourself when you don't feel up to doing things and try to get them done when you are having strong days. Thats what i aim to do. Sorry i'm not much help.:flower:
 
Kristin - glad to hear you are feeling better and baby girl is behaing herself:thumbup:
3 weeks!? thats so soon!! Exciting.:happydance:
 
nicola ttc said:
Oh Tracy its not just you at all.:hugs:
I'm not sure i've even really accepted i'm pregnant yet - either that or i'm not letting myself think things might be ok just in case they're not...self preservation and all that.:shrug:
I have all the 'what if's' in my mind constantly too - and i don't expect them to go away anytime soon. I haven't really had any symptoms at all for the last couple of weeks and keep thinking the worst, its so hard not to when you've had experience of these things happening isn't it?
The calenders are such a lovely idea - very sad to see when all you wish is for the real thing - but i'm sure they are beautiful and everyone you have got them for will really love them.
Sometimes the worry and emotion all build up too much for me too. I am fine for a while then have a mini meltdown. I think it's probably something all of us on this thread do?
I don't really know what to say about work - you are going through such a lot of emotions at the moment i imagine its hard to focus on anything extra. Try not to be too hard on yourself when you don't feel up to doing things and try to get them done when you are having strong days. Thats what i aim to do. Sorry i'm not much help.:flower:
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Nicola your reply is more help than you think. Seriously if I hadn't lost babies having a day of not feeling sick after feeling sick for the last couple of weeks would be a god send but now it is just freaking me out. I just tried to explain to my husband what was going on for me today but I don't think men really get it because they are not going through all the hormone changes in their bodies. Thank you for your reply I am glad it is not just me that has the mini meltdowns :happydance:
 
Lots of love ladies x I can't wait to see each and everyone of u with ur rainbow babies x
 
Hi ladies are you all ok today? Ive had a bad few days - ive been ill with a cold and then just got myself into a total anxiety about this pregnancy for some reason. I got all these bad thoughts and cant really get rid of them. I tried to talk to my OH but he hates to talk about anything thats not positive and gets irritated with me.I had my 12 week scan yesterday and saw baby jumping all over. Measurements were on track etc which is great :) BUT as much as i love seeing the scans, it makes me love our baby even more then im filled with terror with the 'what ifs'. We told our family yesterday and i told my boss just now so its more 'real' now. My blood pressures been a bit high that last few days but im hoping thats because ive been under the weather. How do you keep your anxieties under control because ive lost control of mine a bit this week. gotta have a more positive attitude but its hard. :/
 
nicksi it is the hardest thing trying to keep positive and emotions under control isn't it. I am struggling with that too and I suppose sharing it on here helps me because like you say my oh doesn't always know what to say or understand what I am talking about. I suppose just recognise that there will be times when negative thoughts creep in but smile at the milestones you have already reached. Sending you a big hug.

How are the rest of you ladies? I am off to my weekly accupuncture session to get some relaxation lol
 
Ooh have fun Tracy. I love acupuncture but haven't had it for years!

Nicksi i think it's normal to have those 'what if....' thoughts. I think we'd be more strange if we didn't but like Tracy says, we have to try to look at the positives and milestones so far and just hope and pray things work out!!
My oh really doesn't want to hear my worries either. I'm sure he has them too but while i don't mention them he can keep them hidden at the back of his mind for now. Well thats what i think he does anyway!!
Glad to hear the scan went well :thumbup:

I got my doppler on friday and have been listening to babys hb galloping away every day.:cloud9:

How is everyone else getting on?
 
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