Rainbows after the storm (late loss/stillbirth/neonatal loss/sids)

[amjon]

are you ladies on progesterone supplements? i had low progesterone in the beginning, it was 8. I was sure I would Mc.. i was immediately put on vaginal suppositories and am convinced i would have MC if they did not give them to me.

I'm on them. The doctor discussed putting me on them before I was pregnant (from BFP). I think I did need it as my temp started to drop and was below CL and about where it is the day before AF. I called the emergency number and got Dr. Idiot who told me progesterone doesn't matter before 4 weeks because the baby isn't attached to anything and is just floating around down there (after I told him I had two days of BFP). Luckily I found an OTC cream at GNC until I could get in to see the sane doctor for the script.

 

[Krippy]

Welcome Debbie and our other newcomers, I know you from other threads!

I am doing ok Tracy...Thank you for asking! I am starting to feel overwhelmed with everything that has been going on in my life. Everything is great, baby is good, appts are going well, I have started to get my sugars under control with insulin...I just feel like there isn't enough of me to go around. Friends are wanting to see me, I have appts to get to, my husband and mom work a lot and I don't have a vehicle so getting around is sometime a challenge. I really just want this baby to be here! I have another ultrasound on Friday to check the size of the baby for the last time and hoping that it hasn't grown too much so that I can have my vaginal birth!

On a brighter note my brother and his wife had a healthy baby girl this morning...Makes me jealous that their little one is here safe and sound and I still have to wait 2 and half weeks but I think nesting is settling in and I just can't relax!

So excited for your scan tomorrow Tracy...I am sure you are ready to see your LO! I didn't get a doppler bc I was worried that if I didn't use it right or couldn't find the HB I would panic but that is just me. I know a lot of people who swear by their doppler and couldn't live without it. Do what feels right to you hun!

 

[_Lexi_]

Hey ladies. Sorry haven't been around for awhile. I'm now 9+1. Sickness/nausea for the most part has eased off, touch wood. Seeing as by 5 weeks with Joshua I was being sick 50+ times a day with hyperemesis, these first few weeks have been quite easy.

Had the stress of moving house a few weeks ago, starting to settle in, but the oh was away all last week, all this week, and the week after he's coming back next Tuesday for my midwife appointment though. Hoping to then get a date for 12 week scan. I had a scan at 6weeks. Saw a tiny baby with a flicker of a heartbeat. They also saw a second sac, but they THINK it was just fluid/blood and going to check again on my next scan.

We received results from all Joshua's genetic testing saying they don't think they'll ever find a cause, but think it was a very rare mitrochondrial disorder. They've said we have anywhere from a 25-100% chance of it happening again in all future pregnancies.

Tracy, I bought an angelsounds doppler in my last pregnancy with Joshua. I picked his heartbeat up at 8+3. I stopped using it as soon as I felt his first kick as I trust my body to know when something's wrong more than a doppler. We only found out I had no fluid as I hadn't felt him move for 2 days, if I'd of relied on my doppler, I'd of found a strong heartbeat. I've tried finding this one, but can't get it yet. Going to leave it a few days and try again. It's still early to be picking it up at home, so I'm not too concerned.

I know what you mean about instinct. From the very start I would wake up screaming/crying in the early hours saying the baby was going to die and wasn't coming home. Everyone told me I was being paranoid. I bought clothes, bottles and a steriliser. I refused to buy a pram, a moses basket, a cot, anything like that. Our spare room was still a junk room and hadn't been decorated for a baby. I knew all along he'd never make it, and new I couldn't cope with those things in the house.

I too have been promised extra scans, and will be consultant led. My problems with low fluid, failing placenta, and Joshua's iugr only started after 20 weeks, so I imagine my extra appointments will start then. Just waiting to find out uf they want me to have another cvs at 13 weeks to compare with Joshua's results.

Phew, that's my essay over with!! Hope all you ladies are doing ok xx

 

[dextersmum]

Kristin it sounds like you have a lot to do in a short space of time so don't do too much otherwise you won't have any energy for when the baby gets here. It is lovely news about your brother and his wife but I understand what you mean about being a little jealous that they have their little one here safe and well BUT I am sure your little one will be her safe and well before you know it and the 2 cousins can grow up together and have a play mate

I am excited about my scan but as ever it is tinged with nervousness too but only to be expected as this is my 5th pregnancy in 2 years and I have had plenty of experience of scans but i am hopeful that everything will be ok.

Lexi it is lovely to see you on here. Does your husband work away a lot or is this a one off? I know it must be frustrating not having a specific reason for losing Joshua but I just hope that it is so rare that it never happens to you again and that this rainbow is here to stay and come home with you

Amjon it is hard isn't it when you don't trust or like the GP or consultant. It makes things harder and a bit more stressful I think and you are doing the right thing trying to find somebody you like and trust. Is it too much to ask for the medical profession to care about us and what we want

I am not sure if I will buy a doppler as think it might become an obsession of mine lol. I have already told my midwife that I will be a paranoid pregnant lady especially when I start to feel the baby moving as it was lack of movement with Dexter that told us there was a problem but I did leave it for a couple of days until my midwife apt before doing anything because I wasn't sure what Icould do or if I was imagining things but I tell you I will be on the phone to my midwife with the slightest concern and she has told me that is ok

I have just been to check on my puppy as I could hear him barking and when I found him I couldn't help laughing as he was in the conservatory behind the open door barking at 2 magpies that were on our garden. if you know the rhyme about magpies it is 2 for joy so that made me smile and then he did the same thing and I looked again and this time it was 3 magpies and it is 3 for a girl so more smiles. And I have never seen the magpies in my garden before just hope they are a lucky omen

 

[lch28]

amjon that dr sounds awful.. im so glad you were able to find some at GNC and that the other doc wrote you a prescription for it.. when I lost Sophia , I lost my mucus plug a week before labor. I called my doctors office to tell them and the nurse told me that "you cant lose a plug at 23 weeks" .... umm .. what?!?!? I also told her that Sophia hadn't moved in over a day, she said it didnt matter because i wasn't 28 weeks. She wasnt moving because she was breech in my birth canal, and I could only feel her kick in my lady parts. I told her I felt pressure and all these things and they just made me feel crazy. I was begging for an ultrasound or a cervical check. They refused to see me until I was bleeding 4 days later. By time i got checked i was 4cm dilated and it was too late. Needless to say I have a new doctor who i adore and any time i call him with ANY concern he gets me right in. I wonder every damn day what could have been if they had listened to me. Maybe i could have had a rescue cerclage.. but the what ifs dont bring her back, so i try to avoid those thoughts.. it just bothered me so much, when i was 4 cm, the doctor goes "oh my hun, your 4cm dilated, unfortunately we only do a cerclage if you are 3cm and below! you are going to have the baby" well, maybe if they had seen me evrey time i called the past week, or maybe had i not waited an hour in the waiting room, id qualify for the rescue stitch.. okay. rant over.. lol


krippy glad to hear about your little niece! totally understand the jealousy. your LO will be in your arms before you know it!

tracy i did not buy a doppler. I knew id be obsessed with it and would freak out if I couldnt find HB. before i felt movement it was hard to never have assurance that all was well, but now i am getting regular movements its much easier not to have a doppler!

lexi it must be so hard not to have an exact cause for what happened , Im so sorry about that. I hope you get the care you were promised !

dextersmum hope your scan is great hun. What kind of puppy do you have?

 

[amjon]

amjon that dr sounds awful.. im so glad you were able to find some at GNC and that the other doc wrote you a prescription for it.. when I lost Sophia , I lost my mucus plug a week before labor. I called my doctors office to tell them and the nurse told me that "you cant lose a plug at 23 weeks" .... umm .. what?!?!? I also told her that Sophia hadn't moved in over a day, she said it didnt matter because i wasn't 28 weeks. She wasnt moving because she was breech in my birth canal, and I could only feel her kick in my lady parts. I told her I felt pressure and all these things and they just made me feel crazy. I was begging for an ultrasound or a cervical check. They refused to see me until I was bleeding 4 days later. By time i got checked i was 4cm dilated and it was too late. Needless to say I have a new doctor who i adore and any time i call him with ANY concern he gets me right in. I wonder every damn day what could have been if they had listened to me. Maybe i could have had a rescue cerclage.. but the what ifs dont bring her back, so i try to avoid those thoughts.. it just bothered me so much, when i was 4 cm, the doctor goes "oh my hun, your 4cm dilated, unfortunately we only do a cerclage if you are 3cm and below! you are going to have the baby" well, maybe if they had seen me evrey time i called the past week, or maybe had i not waited an hour in the waiting room, id qualify for the rescue stitch.. okay. rant over.. lol

When I lost Taylor I was seeing a MW. When I called she told me she didn't think it was a problem that I hadn't felt her move in over a day because she was still little and could hide out in there. I was nearly 27 weeks. I decided to go to the hospital anyway and they couldn't find a heartbeat. The MW never even visited me once in the hospital (but still billed me for the whole pregnancy).

I met my new OB today. She said I didn't need new bloods as I just had them in May. They did do a clean catch urine, so I guess they're looking for UTI. She referred me to the MFM and also was glad I'm going to the hematologist. They wanted to do an U/S today, but I told them I wanted to wait awhile. They'll probably do one at my next appointment when I'll be 10 weeks.

 

[lch28]

good call on waiting hun, i got an ultrasound at 6 weeks and they didn't see anything.. not even a sac.. i came back a week later and there was the baby with a beautiful hb. i regret that early scan because i felt sick to my stomach for a week. How rude of that MW.. I just hate when doctors try to make us feel like we are crazy and annoying. We know what is normal for our baby. Wish she had taken you more seriously. I am not sure if you posted this before but did you ever find out what happened? Was it a cord related? Sorry, hope you dont mind me asking hun

 

[amjon]

good call on waiting hun, i got an ultrasound at 6 weeks and they didn't see anything.. not even a sac.. i came back a week later and there was the baby with a beautiful hb. i regret that early scan because i felt sick to my stomach for a week. How rude of that MW.. I just hate when doctors try to make us feel like we are crazy and annoying. We know what is normal for our baby. Wish she had taken you more seriously. I am not sure if you posted this before but did you ever find out what happened? Was it a cord related? Sorry, hope you dont mind me asking hun

The cord was wrapped around her neck, but the U/S they did to confirm death showed VERY low fluid levels, so I was told that something else was probably going on. We will never know for sure what happened.

 

[lch28]

Im sorry hun. It must be so hard to not know for sure.

 

[dextersmum]

hello ladies I am just back from my hospital apt and am pleased to confirm that scan went well. I am showing at 8 wks 5 days so have gained 3 days and the baby was kicking about and had a great herat beat rate so everything is good so far

I had an antenatal apt afterwards and went to meet the new consultant and although I didn't get to meet him I met one of his team who was able to answer all of my questions and write out a very thorough care plan for me so I know exactly what is going on.

I have 2 weekly scans upto 16 weeks for re-assurance then the normal scan at 20 weeks and growth scans at 24,28,32, and 36 weeks and will see my consultant again at 16 weeks, 20 weeks and I think following each growth scan. I am to stay on aspirin and heparin for rest of pregnancy, and stop the progesterone at 16 weeks. So I now feel fully informed and know what is happening and the dr said I should not be stressed as I am pregnant lol and I told her I won't be now I know the plan

Ich we have a weimaraner puppy and we have been told he is big for his age and will grow into a big dog lol

I am still feeling pretty sick at stupid times and usually when I move even just getting up from the couch so I am going to try some anti sickness travel bands to see if they help as a friend has recommended them to me

hope every body else is well xx

 

[nicola ttc]

Tracy - so gld to hear the scan went well! And put you 3 days ahead!!

The new consultant sounds fab - definitely a good move changing consultant teams, looks like you hve every reason to feel confident with the new team.

 

[sweetbuthyper]

hey ladies,

ok the fear set in yesterday, i saw beans heart beat last week, i'm now around 8 weeks and everythings fine bb hurt and sickness is horrendous but i can't shake the feeling that it will all be fine uptil the 21 week scan, we will get past it and start to feel safe and then i will go into labour again.

finding it really hard to be happy bout being pregnant i love bean already and it is very much wanted i just would really like a fast forward button to get me through the next 7 months.

 

[lch28]

aww hun i felt the same pretty much until i passed 23 weeks (when I lost Sophia) I found that i really just had to take it one day at a time, one appointment at a time. I am just starting to buy things now. I felt like it would go on forevre but can honestly say it has flown by. Positive thoughts hun

 

[dextersmum]

I wish I had a fast forward button for all of us as that would certainly help the stress levels but unfortunately we don't have it so I suppose it is just one day and one appointment at a time and I lot of hope (and sharing our feelings on here with other ladies who understand)

AFM my sickness has gone to another level seems to be with the slightest movement. I was out holding a ladder for my husband today and I looked up to see what he was doing and had to open the bin lid so I could throw up seriously just from looking up lol and that was with wearing my anti sickness wristbands. Don't get me wrong I am not complaining it is just a bit embarassing standing outside your house throwing up in your bin or having to carry a plastic bag in my car incase I feel sick by the time I have sat down

 

[nicola ttc]

Morning ladies. :wave:
Oh Tracy, poor you - although throwing up in bin outside your house while hubby is up a ladder watching did make me laugh, i'm sorry!!

1 week til scan day for me! Eeeek. So nervous and excited!
I've been using my doppler most days and can find baby within seconds usully. He/she must've moved up a bit too s i used to have to put it right on my scar line but now it's just above.

I totally understand the feeling that things are going to go wrong at a certain point.. i think we all have our different stages we want to get past but as we don't have that much wanted time machine, we'll all just have to try to get each other through til one by one, we're all holding our rainbows!!

I'm going to do a due date list on the front page so we can tick each one off!!
If you can tell me your edd i'll add you!

 

[lch28]

my EDD is February 15th. I will most likely go earlier because my stitch is coming out at 36 weeks on Janruary 18th

 

[dextersmum]

I will let you know after my 12 week scan Nicola when they officially date me.

Kristin how are you doing chick??

 

[Krippy]

Doing ok...Time is slowly dragging by. I have been having lots of contractions and back pain all weekend and losing bits of my plug, which I know can mean nothing but I just can't wait for this baby to be here!

I am sooo happy for your positive scan news Tracy! How exciting to see that little HB just a beating away. So beautiful!

Can't wait to hear about your scan in 1 week too Nicola! So much exciting and positive news coming our way!

 

[Baby Bell]

Hi ladies , I can't believe ow much iv missed on this thread, I was posting when it first started but I must have unsubscribed by accident. I hope hope everyone is well

Dextersmum congratulations

I'm going to take a wee while and read through what's been going on

 

[dextersmum]

ooohhh keep us posted on progress Kristin I am so excited to find out what you have. Have you chosen names yet??

what about the rest of you ladies will you find out the sex of your baby before you give birth and have you thought of names??