Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[Noelle610]

Anti I think some older babies don't really show reliable sleepy signs. I would try 3 hours awake and do it for a week. She will need some time to adjust and will likely fight it at first

Aliss, we've had that... Ugh! I think it's developmental. Not sure if there's a solution.

 

[anti]

Thanks, will try that. She's gone down for her nap with no screaming today!

 

[NotNic]

Noelle I would consider sttn one where I didn't wake up because of my lo. I would also say that if I didn't need to see to him, but he moaned or mumbled that he slept through too. So if he didnt need me to settle him then he slept through if that makes sense. Technically as Finlay does move (sit up / crawl) while appearing to be asleep I guess some mums might claim that as sttn, but personally I wouldn't. On the flip side some of us would consider 10-4 as sttn because we'd have enough sleep in that period BUT personally I found mum's claiming their babies as sttn when doing this, a bit upsetting to me as I felt like their babies were sleeping better than mine. In fact my son could sleep for 6 hrs too, but he might do it at less sociable hours like 8-2ish.

 

[polaris]

I would love if Clara would sleep for 5-6 hours at any time, I'm not fussy! She has honestly never slept for that long in her life.

Larkspur, I thought your LO sounded very similar to mine when I read your earlier post. I really like your plan and I am going to borrow some bits of it. I like the idea of snuggling with the lovey while nursing to create good associations.

The funny thing is with Clara that she doesn't actually nurse to sleep most of the time except during the night and usually self-settles easily at nap times. But I still feel that she depends on nursing to get herself in the right frame of mind for dropping off.

I have tried spacing out her feeds during the night and also had some luck in resettling her without feeding in the early part of the evening but during the night it is just a nightmare, if she wakes after two hours (which she always does) she will cry for an hour until I give in and nurse her. I find it really difficult to have that much crying during the night even if I'm there trying to comfort her because it's waking up everyone in the house and then everyone's miserable and sleep deprived.

She is very persistent and stubborn in her personality. I do feel that eventually I will end up doing CC with her but I'm going to wait another month or so in the hopes that her sleep will improve with more gentle methods. I do think separation anxiety is adding to it at the moment so the timing doesn't seem great for CC.

Noelle, DS did/does sleep through for 12 hours without me hearing a peep from him, however he didn't do this until he was older, maybe 14 or 15 months. As a baby he would have cried out quite a bit in his sleep or when transitioning sleep cycles even if he didn't need me to go in to him. I still counted it as sleeping through if I didn't have to go in and resettle him.

 

[mrsbeano]

I think that some Mums are just lighter sleepers than others. I know when its DHs night I mentally switch off a bit more and don't always hear him but he makes a lot of noise in between sleep cycles as it gets closer to the morning.

It is definitely sttn if I don't have to get out of my pit. The mums who class it as not sttn have got good sleepers lol.

There was a tv programme on last night and it said that there were very few bad sleepers but that most children need to learn to sleep. I think I beg to differ! I see where she's coming from in that most kids aren't innately good sleepers but there are definitely bad sleepers too who don't have a medical issue.

 

[gaiagirl]

I have an issue with the whole 'bad' and 'good' sleeper thing, and I have to catch myself all the time with it too. In reality, infants and young kids don't sleep like adults. They are not evolved that way and it's totally normal to sleep lightly and wake often.

They're definitely so variable and some people luck out with babies that do sleep like adults, lol. But not me! Average normal infant here

Anyways I guess the point is just that I sometimes need the reminder that this is all NORMAL! And babies do grow up into older kids that sleep more like I do. I think those programs like to scare us into thinking that unless we buy a book and follow a sleep program our kids will never sleep. But a five year old who is stressed about bedtime every night really isn't the norm!

Ahhhhh ok rant over.

On this front...only two wakings after 9pm but they were full wakings where he actually needed put back to sleep whereas often it's 4-5 short partial wakings. Can't decide which I prefer! Lol

 

[Noelle610]

Interesting perspectives, thanks ladies.

I would consider it STTN if Charlotte made noise that woke me or sat up/crawled while seemingly asleep. If I don't have to get out of bed and "help" her go back to sleep, I consider it sleeping through. She's always in a different position when she wakes, so I assume she moves around a lot even when I don't hear her. I figure I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and go straight back to sleep. I still consider myself sleeping all night.

 

[gaiagirl]

Aliss - that was F's wake ups last night at 1 and 5. As soon as he started cooing I knew he was really waking so I grabbed him and started rocking. The first wake up took an HOUR and he went back down at 2, then the 5am one just took maybe 20 min...this is really abnormal for him. Since like 6-8 weeks he hasn't really had any MOTN parties! I reeeeeeaaally hope that's not a new pattern.

 

[NotNic]

Sorry Noelle I didn't quite explain myself properly. I would count it as sttn when F moves if I didn't need to sort him out. Everyone fidgets in their sleep. Trouble is when he sleep crawls he gets very distressed and cries in his sleep too - so I have to move him. Even though he appears to be asleep, I wouldn't say it was relaxing sleep so not sttn. Also as the phrase says sleep through the night, I am not expecting to get him until morning when its time to get up (are you listening Finlay?! ).

So, naps have gone weird. He seems to only want one nap a day. Today I did get a second 20 min one but he fell asleep in his cot sitting down collapsed over the teddies he was playing with. When I found him like that I moved him and within 5mins he was awake. I'm hoping that once his top four teeth have come through (two broke through yesterday and it sounds like the next two are very close) some normality might return. He's 42wks tomorrow so it could be ww issues too.

 

[MiniKiwi]

Uff another rubbish night.. I went to bed at 11:30pm and have been up since 3am. So tired I actually feel like vomitting

 

[Noelle610]

Uff another rubbish night.. I went to bed at 11:30pm and have been up since 3am. So tired I actually feel like vomitting

 

[NotNic]

Hey I'm just catching up on last nights 'Bedtime Live (UK)' Anyone else been watching it?

 

[Noelle610]

Hey I'm just catching up on last nights 'Bedtime Live (UK)' Anyone else been watching it?

No, tell us about it!

 

[NotNic]

I don't know if you can watch it outside of the UK but basically Channel 4 are doing a live weekly show starting at 8pm looking at different families each week who have problems getting their babies or young children to sleep. There are cameras in the family home and a sleep specialist talks each family through the sleep plan and technique they've agreed on through an ear piece giving them live support. The TV show checks on the families progress and has short films on other sleep issues and the science of sleep. The Dr who is part of the presenting team is not a fan of CIO preferring gentler approaches. I think the plan is that they follow the families they help to see if the techniques work and they can stick with it. Pretty interesting stuff (for people with sleep issues. The TV critics weren't so keen) https://bedtimelive.channel4.com/

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Uff another rubbish night.. I went to bed at 11:30pm and have been up since 3am. So tired I actually feel like vomitting

sounds horrible I always feel nauseous when I'm sleep deprived too. Like all of our organs are related somehow...

Our night was slightly worse than usual but nothing I can do about it since Sofia is sick. She's been sneezing and coughing all day and went to sleep at 6 pm (about an hour earlier than usual). She did sleep through till 4:15 am but woke up then coughing and annoyed. I ended up feeding her to calm her down to go back down. She went down again at 5:30 am and slept till 8:30 am.

Oh ya and she had pooped at 4:15 am too I have tried feeding her different food and different times of the day and with no fail still there's pooping at around 4 am. Not sure what to do about it anymore...has anyone had persisting poop issue in the middle of the night around 6/7 months?

 

[Noelle610]

I don't know if you can watch it outside of the UK but basically Channel 4 are doing a live weekly show starting at 8pm looking at different families each week who have problems getting their babies or young children to sleep. There are cameras in the family home and a sleep specialist talks each family through the sleep plan and technique they've agreed on through an ear piece giving them live support. The TV show checks on the families progress and has short films on other sleep issues and the science of sleep. The Dr who is part of the presenting team is not a fan of CIO preferring gentler approaches. I think the plan is that they follow the families they help to see if the techniques work and they can stick with it. Pretty interesting stuff (for people with sleep issues. The TV critics weren't so keen) https://bedtimelive.channel4.com/

Sounds interesting! I can't imagine a wide audience of people would be into this... Just moms of bad sleepers like this group

 

[Noelle610]

Uff another rubbish night.. I went to bed at 11:30pm and have been up since 3am. So tired I actually feel like vomitting

sounds horrible I always feel nauseous when I'm sleep deprived too. Like all of our organs are related somehow...

Our night was slightly worse than usual but nothing I can do about it since Sofia is sick. She's been sneezing and coughing all day and went to sleep at 6 pm (about an hour earlier than usual). She did sleep through till 4:15 am but woke up then coughing and annoyed. I ended up feeding her to calm her down to go back down. She went down again at 5:30 am and slept till 8:30 am.

Oh ya and she had pooped at 4:15 am too I have tried feeding her different food and different times of the day and with no fail still there's pooping at around 4 am. Not sure what to do about it anymore...has anyone had persisting poop issue in the middle of the night around 6/7 months?

So sorry she's ill!

The poop thing is just so weird. If it were right after bed, I'd think it was a diet issue... but at 4am I can't imagine why she's doing it. Have you asked your ped?

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Noelle - no but I think I should at this point. It's been exactly a week of this and it's very odd...

 

[Noelle610]

Yeah, it's officially weird! Let us know what he says. I bet it's an easy fix.

 

[bananaz]

MiniKiwi - I hope last night was better?

Shadowy - I agree with Noelle, time to ask a doctor about the morning poops! I'm surprised it's still going on, I thought it would've gone away by now.


We are on day 3 of just setting LO down in the crib and walking away for naps and it's still working! She just plays for 5-10 minutes and then goes to sleep, vs. all of her previous naptime self-settling which involved a lot more fussing and intervention on my part. This is so easy it feels like cheating! I'm in shock.

Of course it's obvious that this development is entirely due to my skill as a sleep guru rofl so I have to share a tip that I think helped us, which is to put her in her crib with the light still on. It could just be a coincidence, but I think being able to orient herself to the crib and see where her loveys are before the light goes out helps.