Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[bananaz]

Seriously why won't she stay asleep I've nursed her 3 times till she's asleep, sat with her in my arms for 15 minutes the last time just to make sure, then as I was putting her in her cot she spat her dummy on the floor and all hell broke loose. I hate when she does this. So frustrating.

It's so hard to reconcile this behavior with all those adorable smiley pictures you've posted of her! I'm sure after the third try at putting her down she becomes less cute though. I hope she gives you a break soon.

 

[Twister]

Aww thanks, she's such a little darling during the day. I can cope if she refuses to nap bit night time sleep is so much harder to deal with! I'm putting it down to the fact that she had a poor second nap yesterday and is overtired. Hopefully today will be better.

I think (I hope) I may have gotten her down finally, only took 50 minutes! I'm off to bed hopefully she will sleep for another couple of hours.

 

[Twister]

She slept for a grand total of 30 minutes before she wanted to get up for the day

 

[polaris]

I am seriously thinking about going back to co-sleeping for a bit. I don't know if that's a silly idea or sensible!

Both of us are quite unwell at the moment with a rotten cold and the last two nights I have brought her into bed with me at about 10 or 11 p.m. (a combination of her not settling at all in the cot and me not feeling well enough to cope with going in and out to her room every hour or less). Anyway the first night she was really unwell and awake crying a lot in distress so neither of us got very much sleep. Last night she was quite distressed at about 10 p.m. and I had to get her up for an hour and walk round with her to calm her down, then I brought her into bed with me and she actually settled down and slept for pretty much the rest of the night. She stirred a couple of times but went straight back to sleep when she realized I was there and she had a very brief feed at 4 a.m. but other than that straight through to 6.30. Now I realize this could be a once off due to being exhausted after the night before or whatever, but this is totally different to when we used to co-sleep when she still woke every hour and needed resettling or a feed or whatever.

So here are my reasons for and against:

For co-sleeping:
She would be happier with that sleeping arrangement (no question about that)
She would possibly sleep better?
I would possibly sleep better in that I wouldn't have to get out of bed a million times a night.
I might be less tired and irritable during the day

Against co-sleeping:
All the reasons that I stopped in the first place.
Our bed is too small for three of us so OH would have to sleep in spare room
Would it end up being a long term arrangement, which I don't really want?
What about naps and evenings before I go to bed, would she start refusing to settle in cot at all (which was the case in the past)
It feels a bit silly to go back after all the work I did to get her comfortable settling in the cot.

Thoughts anyone? I never had this with DS, he never wanted to co-sleep and actually I ended up having to move him to his own room at four months (earlier than I had planned) because we were disturbing him. But Clara is so different to him in regard to sleep.

 

[polaris]

Twister, your LO reminds me of Clara in regard to sleep. Clara is also the easiest baby in the world during the day and no-one can believe the difficulties I have with her sleeping. I do think some babies just do not naturally sleep well no matter what we do. Wish I had useful advice...

Seaweed, I agree with bananaz. Unfortunately for many babies nap transitions occur over an extended period. Some babies seem to be fine with abrupt transitions but others it just takes longer. DS always struggled with nap transitions and we are still going through this as he drops his final nap at the moment. Some days he needs a nap and some days he doesn't. If the average for going through a nap transition was 6 to 9 months, you could bet that DS would be going through the nap transition for the entire three month period rather than just dropping the nap at some point during the time-span. I think the only way to get through it is to be flexible and go with the flow for a bit, if your LO needs a third nap some days then I would just go with that and give him a later bedtime those days and an earlier bedtime when he only has two naps. It does make for disrupted sleep for a bit but I don't know of any other way to do it for babies who need more gradual transitions.

Stephie, so sorry you had such a terrible night too hun.

 

[Twister]

Ugh naps have been all over the place today. Because she woke so early she napped early too which wouldn't have been a problem if it weren't for the fact that she only slept for 45 minutes. She's just had her second nap which she only slept for 30 minutes, tried to get her back to sleep as she's obviously still tired but no dice so I've brought her down but she's so cranky. No doubt im going to have to put her down again soon especially as its only 1:30pm and there's no way she'd last till 6 or even 5pm for bed

 

[Noelle610]

Polaris, it sounds like a good case for co-sleeping. How does OH feel about it? I think it has to be a family decision.

Twister, we had some 2 and some 3 nap days during that transition. Would your LO possibly do a short nap around 4pm to tide her over until bedtime?

 

[bananaz]

We are on day three of pre-5am wakeups here

For some reason the early wakings irritate me more than any of her other bad sleep habits and I've found myself getting seriously angry with her. I think a lot of it is that she's so hard to handle during the day and I'm just not ready to start dealing with that so early in the morning. If she were a happy self-entertaining cherub while awake that might be okay at 4:45 but instead she's a pissed off little dictator who hits me and screams if I do anything other than hold her and read Madeline a thousand times in a row. This gets really old really fast when she acts this way for 10+ hours every day.

She's now getting completely hysterical and beating my leg with her Mother Goose book (which I just read to her 4 freaking times!!) so I should probably go.

 

[bananaz]

Also, WTF is with this rhyme??

As I went to Bonner
I met a pig
Without a wig
Upon my word and honor

 

[socitycourty]

We are on day three of pre-5am wakeups here

For some reason the early wakings irritate me more than any of her other bad sleep habits and I've found myself getting seriously angry with her. I think a lot of it is that she's so hard to handle during the day and I'm just not ready to start dealing with that so early in the morning. If she were a happy self-entertaining cherub while awake that might be okay at 4:45 but instead she's a pissed off little dictator who hits me and screams if I do anything other than hold her and read Madeline a thousand times in a row. This gets really old really fast when she acts this way for 10+ hours every day.

She's now getting completely hysterical and beating my leg with her Mother Goose book (which I just read to her 4 freaking times!!) so I should probably go.

Ok I'm sorry for laughing out loud here about her beating your leg with a book....it's just funny.

But I agree about the early morning wakings being irritating. Pre-and even during pregnancy I could spring out of bed at 5 a.m. no problem even after going to bed at 11 p.m.

But I think the problem is my sleep is so interrupted that I am in a good deep sleep between 4-6 a.m. and then she wakes me up and I feel very groggy and then I feel really mad almost like rage. I just wake up thinking give me a f*cking break!!

I also agree about hard to handle during the day.I was in tears yesterday becuase I was trying to go in the kitchen and do the dishes and she would scream, cry and rattle the gate.

Also I can't get much done during her 40 minute naps (sometimes only 1 now) let alone catch my breath and figure out how I'll survive this.

so I totally feel your pain. I just got up and I'm in a rather bad mood already

 

[socitycourty]

Also, WTF is with this rhyme??

As I went to Bonner
I met a pig
Without a wig
Upon my word and honor

written by an insane, hallucinating, sleep deprived parent? LOL

 

[Noelle610]

We are on day three of pre-5am wakeups here

For some reason the early wakings irritate me more than any of her other bad sleep habits and I've found myself getting seriously angry with her. I think a lot of it is that she's so hard to handle during the day and I'm just not ready to start dealing with that so early in the morning. If she were a happy self-entertaining cherub while awake that might be okay at 4:45 but instead she's a pissed off little dictator who hits me and screams if I do anything other than hold her and read Madeline a thousand times in a row. This gets really old really fast when she acts this way for 10+ hours every day.

She's now getting completely hysterical and beating my leg with her Mother Goose book (which I just read to her 4 freaking times!!) so I should probably go.

I understand. Charlotte's fairly demanding too, so I NEED "alone" time before she wakes. Anything before 6am is just torture if I'm nto working that day. I love being with her, but I value my sanity too.

What's the rest of Elsie's schedule like now? When is bedtime? How do you respond to the early morning wake-up?

 

[bananaz]

Ok I'm sorry for laughing out loud here about her beating your leg with a book....it's just funny.

But I agree about the early morning wakings being irritating. Pre-and even during pregnancy I could spring out of bed at 5 a.m. no problem even after going to bed at 11 p.m.

But I think the problem is my sleep is so interrupted that I am in a good deep sleep between 4-6 a.m. and then she wakes me up and I feel very groggy and then I feel really mad almost like rage. I just wake up thinking give me a f*cking break!!

I also agree about hard to handle during the day.I was in tears yesterday becuase I was trying to go in the kitchen and do the dishes and she would scream, cry and rattle the gate.

Also I can't get much done during her 40 minute naps (sometimes only 1 now) let alone catch my breath and figure out how I'll survive this.

so I totally feel your pain. I just got up and I'm in a rather bad mood already

Man, those 40 minute naps are awful, I'm so sorry you're still dealing with those on top of the nighttime stuff. I think you're totally right about being in a deep sleep at 4-5am and that contributing to the early morning rage (and yes, there is definitely rage here sometimes, haha)

written by an insane, hallucinating, sleep deprived parent? LOL

OMG you're totally right!

 

[Boo44]

Ohh bananaz big hugs from me. I too absolutely hate early morning wakings with a passion so I understand feeling angry!! Hopefully it's just a random phase. I try to console myself that whenever LO starts a new random thing it *usually* only lasts 2 wks max...

 

[Twister]

I get early morning rage too. Especially after a night of 2 hourly wake ups. Anything before 7 am is torture to me, 6am is tolerable I guess but I'm really not a morning person at all.

Just been trying to get her to nap, she wasn't having it and I was loosing patience so I left her to cry for 10 minutes while I laid on my bed and wallowed. Feel awful about it and when I came back her face was soaking wet definitely don't think she's ready for any kind of crying sleep training yet, and neither am I tbh. She's asleep now after a cuddle, how long for I don't know. Today has been crappy.

 

[bananaz]

I understand. Charlotte's fairly demanding too, so I NEED "alone" time before she wakes. Anything before 6am is just torture if I'm nto working that day. I love being with her, but I value my sanity too.

What's the rest of Elsie's schedule like now? When is bedtime? How do you respond to the early morning wake-up?

Yeah, just 10-15 minutes of alone time really can make a world of difference.

For the past week and a half she's been down to only one nap which is around 10:30am-12:30pm, then she goes to bed around 7:30pm. I know that that is a really long awake time for her age but she was having early wakings back when she had an afternoon nap too so I'm not sure what to think. In fact, when we switched to this schedule that's when she finally started sleeping in until 6am. I wish I knew what changed!

The first night she woke early I waited for 10 minutes see if she would resettle herself, then when she didn't I thought "Well maybe she's just a little hungry" so I went in, changed her diaper, nursed her and put her back down. Didn't work, she was up for the day.

The second night I waited for a half hour. She tried to resettle herself twice during that time but she couldn't and finally she started getting hysterical so I went in, changed her diaper, and tried patting her back to sleep. Didn't work, she was up for the day.

This morning I let her fuss for a bit and when it was clear she wasn't going back to sleep I just resigned myself to my fate and got her up.

 

[bananaz]

Ohh bananaz big hugs from me. I too absolutely hate early morning wakings with a passion so I understand feeling angry!! Hopefully it's just a random phase. I try to console myself that whenever LO starts a new random thing it *usually* only lasts 2 wks max...

Unfortunately I'm starting think her sleeping in until 6am was the random phase rather than the other way around

 

[Noelle610]

Maybe this kind of approach would work:

https://www.sleeplady.com/baby-sleep/rise-shine-the-early-waking-toddler/#.UX7-Unc0iSo

I do think that last wake time is too long. I would try to gradually shift the nap to 1pm by increasing the time she's awake 20/30 minutes every few days. It's going to put you in an undertired/overtired loop that's hard to break.

 

[bananaz]

Maybe this kind of approach would work:

https://www.sleeplady.com/baby-sleep/rise-shine-the-early-waking-toddler/#.UX7-Unc0iSo

I do think that last wake time is too long. I would try to gradually shift the nap to 1pm by increasing the time she's awake 20/30 minutes every few days. It's going to put you in an undertired/overtired loop that's hard to break.

Thanks, I think you're right. She's going to be starting daycare part-time soon so the nap is going to have to move later anyway. To be honest the main reason I haven't moved it yet is because I really need a break by 10:30

 

[Noelle610]

Maybe this kind of approach would work:

https://www.sleeplady.com/baby-sleep/rise-shine-the-early-waking-toddler/#.UX7-Unc0iSo

I do think that last wake time is too long. I would try to gradually shift the nap to 1pm by increasing the time she's awake 20/30 minutes every few days. It's going to put you in an undertired/overtired loop that's hard to break.

Thanks, I think you're right. She's going to be starting daycare part-time soon so the nap is going to have to move later anyway. To be honest the main reason I haven't moved it yet is because I really need a break by 10:30

I hear you