Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[bananaz]

Well, I have had a shit sleeper who gradually became a good sleeper (DS) and an initially good sleeper who gradually became a shit sleeper (DD). And I can tell you, the first way is easier psychologically! At least that way you feel like you are eventually managing to "fix" the problem and get your LO sleeping properly, you feel like it's all paying off. Whereas when you have a good sleeper who turns bad you just feel like you must be doing something wrong!

I think our run of good nights is due to be broken tonight, she's been awake a couple of times already and it's only 11 p.m., she's currently moaning a bit but not properly awake. I'm pretty sure it is teething though. Her bottom gums are definitely sore because she wouldn't let me touch them this evening and I can see the tooth clearly under the gum. She's just had Nurofen half an hour ago so hopefully that might settle her a bit!

Oh I know what you mean. My LO was never an amazing sleeper as a young baby but for a while she seemed to be making developmentally-appropriate progress, and when that stopped and everything went backwards I was totally crushed and felt like I was losing control. Of course I had never actually been in control of anything but my instinct was still to blame myself and that made everything so much worse.

I hope the Nurofen helps and your LO settles down for the rest of the night We were dealing with teething here last night too. I forgot to give her ibuprofen and she cried out every couple of hours all night long, poor thing.

 

[Aimee4311]

Hey y'all! I've been silently stalking this thread for a few weeks now, but this is my first post.

For the last couple of weeks Josalyn has been waking several times per night. Shes generally very easy to get back down. It normally takes only 2 minutes or less. I don't know if the increase in wake ups is because of a growth spurt or what. She mastered sitting unaided within the last 2 weeks and she cut her first 2 teeth about 4 weeks ago.

I'm just wondering if this is likely a short phase, or if I need to change things up if its a sign that what I'm doing isn't working.

We bed share, and normally (though not always) feed to sleep along with rocking or some other movement. Other times I feed her, then rock her to sleep. When she wakes in the night, sometimes patting her will work, but normally the quickest easiest thing is offering the boob.

I've even thinking that offering the boob during her wake ups may be causing more wake ups (object permanence), so I've been trying other methods to settle her before offering the boob. Often though, this doesn't work and makes the wake ups longer and more difficult.

Right now I'd like to minimize the night wakings to 2-3 if possible.

Any advice from you wonderful ladies?

 

[Twister]

I can't do this anymore. I feel like her sleep is getting worse again. She can't seem to sleep for more than 3 hours and me and oh have just had a hellish time trying to resettle her and I completely lost my rag again It's 2:30am, she's been awake for 1.5 hours and she's showing no sign of going back to sleep. I don't understand it.

She's started waking half an hour after going to bed instead of an hour after going to bed. Then 2 hours after that, followed by a 2-4 hour stretch, then the same again. Although the past few nights its been every 2-3hours it feels like.

She has 2 naps a day usually at least an hour long each, rarely exceeding or reaching 2 hours in length. If for some reason she only naps for 30minutes then I'll usually throw in another cat nap to prevent over tiredness.

I'm so tired, I feel like I can't do this anymore. Oh is currently in there trying to settle her because I just can't. I feel like crap. I've let her cio a few times but haven't been consistent with it, need to decide if I truly want to go down the cc/cio route or not. I don't think any other methods would work tbh but it's so hard hearing her cry.

People have been saying sleep starts to improve at around 7 months, she's almost 7 months so I'll be interested to see if this rings true for her. I'm at a loss as to why she won't sleep for longer than 3 hours most of the time though. It's definitely not hunger. I agree with the others, its super tough going from having a relatively good sleeper to an absolutely crap one. Makes you feel like you've done something seriously wrong.

 

[seaweed eater]

Sorry about all the teething trouble! I hope all the teething babies are sleeping more restfully soon

Noelle, it's interesting to hear about that phase you went through where C was fighting bedtimes. I'm guessing my LO's separation anxiety will get worse before it gets better, but it's nice to know that it might pass eventually (in weeks, not months). Boo, I hope Jack slept well in the end and that you have a better bedtime tomorrow

Twister, lots of to you. Can you remind us, what are you doing to settle LO when she wakes?

Aimee, sorry to see you here friend. Are you open to having her sleep in her own space? Munchkin's sleep improved a lot (from 5ish wakings to 2ish) once we moved him to his own room from our room (not bedsharing). Other than that...if you were open to letting her cry, you could do what we tried and bite the bullet and just try to stop nursing to sleep altogether. That didn't work great for us in the sense that Munchkin was still unhappy with it after several days, but it did help his sleep a whole lot, and I think another baby might have adjusted better. J seems like a more easygoing baby than Munchkin so I wouldn't be surprised if you tried that and had an easier time, but it would still involve letting her cry. I don't know what else to tell you. We are trying the NCSS gentle removal thing but I don't think it has really helped at all. But that might be something else you could try if you want to avoid crying.

 

[Aimee4311]

I'm still trying to decide what to do. OH and I have been sick with a stomach bug the last few days, so I'm going to wait at least a few more days til everyone is feeling 100%.

I've been considering going closer to your route, Seaweed, and starting to have DH start put her to sleep. But I know that will cause her a lot of tears...it may help her break the nursing association when going to sleep/trying to stay asleep though.... So far, in the last 5 months, Josiah has only been able to get her to sleep 4 times. Once was yesterday for a nap while I was sick. So I'm hoping she's becoming more accepting of him getting her to sleep.

Oh, and pretty much the only thing she's not laid back about is her sleep! It has to be me putting her to sleep (usually), I have to nurse her and bounce her, then put her down very gently once she's completely out. I've tried y'all's suggestion of putting her down still partially awake, and that leads to horrible angry screams!

I'm still trying to figure out what's best for us!

 

[seaweed eater]

Munchkin is not that easygoing about other things either that's why it wasn't a surprise to me or DH when he put up such a fight about sleep. I also know exactly where he gets it from...my parents said I was hard to sleep train, too!

Have you ever tried getting her asleep and then waking her up a bit as you put her down? Munchkin would never go down actually awake until a few times recently, but he tolerates being woken up on the way. I think it is a good way to show him where he is so that he's not surprised when he wakes up, and it also may have served as a foundation for helping him learn to settle without nursing (although who knows really).

 

[Twister]

I usually just feed her as its the easiest way. Lately she's been doing this thing where when I try and replace boob with her dummy she pulls away and refuses it even when 'asleep' its making it 10x harder to get her back in her cot.

 

[stephie_corin]

Gah....

WW37 kicks butt
Stomach flu for the entire household TWICE in three weeks is worse
Sitting up in cot in sleep is annoying
Standing unaided is YAY but also affecting sleep
Naps are too long and causing late bedtime and early waking, probably night wakings too
Hubby away lots, grrrr


Stephie if you want C to sleep longer for his naps you could look at beginning to extend wake times very slowly (will means transition to two naps but would keep the early bedtime - this is what we did - as per the baby whisperer), so he gets longer naps. He's at the age my LO began to respond to this and dropped to two naps. Ps where are you n expat?

Everyone else, I have been reading, sorry to see new faces here (because your not getting sleep - not be use I'm anti social!) and sorry to see some problems with the longstanding members!

Bananaz just realised E looks remarkably similar to my DD, very beautiful photo.

X

Hi Sunnie, that sounds awful! You poor thing!

We are in Dubai. Culver was born here and we have been here almost 5 years. He actually responds well to a longer wake time, so I think it's worth a shot. I'm not sure if you remember, but what waketimes were you doing at 6-7 months? He's currently doing 2.5-3 hourly waketimes with three naps... Maybe he is awake too much?! He slept 7-530 last night (with about 7 wakeups) and day sleep was three hours.

ETA- his natural pattern is 3 x 30 min naps but sometimes I can rock him back to sleep.

 

[stephie_corin]

I can't do this anymore. I feel like her sleep is getting worse again. She can't seem to sleep for more than 3 hours and me and oh have just had a hellish time trying to resettle her and I completely lost my rag again It's 2:30am, she's been awake for 1.5 hours and she's showing no sign of going back to sleep. I don't understand it.

She's started waking half an hour after going to bed instead of an hour after going to bed. Then 2 hours after that, followed by a 2-4 hour stretch, then the same again. Although the past few nights its been every 2-3hours it feels like.

She has 2 naps a day usually at least an hour long each, rarely exceeding or reaching 2 hours in length. If for some reason she only naps for 30minutes then I'll usually throw in another cat nap to prevent over tiredness.

I'm so tired, I feel like I can't do this anymore. Oh is currently in there trying to settle her because I just can't. I feel like crap. I've let her cio a few times but haven't been consistent with it, need to decide if I truly want to go down the cc/cio route or not. I don't think any other methods would work tbh but it's so hard hearing her cry.

People have been saying sleep starts to improve at around 7 months, she's almost 7 months so I'll be interested to see if this rings true for her. I'm at a loss as to why she won't sleep for longer than 3 hours most of the time though. It's definitely not hunger. I agree with the others, its super tough going from having a relatively good sleeper to an absolutely crap one. Makes you feel like you've done something seriously wrong.

Sorry things are so rough twister. Thinking of you and hoping things improve soon xxx

 

[stephie_corin]

Ok I think I'm going to cry!

We are officially having the worst bedtime we have had since the day he was born!

All was fine and normal, he had his 9oz bottle got his wind up, had his song time and then down to bed as usual. Usually will self settle with either not a single peep or a teeny bit of fussing

Tonight as soon as I walked out the room he started to scream. Left him for 5 mins but ear-piercing awful scream like in pain. So went back in to settle. Repeat over and over. Has now been screaming for 45 mins. Wtf?!?! I actually have no idea what to do! He screams as soon as we walk out.

The only thing I can think is he was fussy at my friend's today. I wondered if he was in pain then so gave calpol. Have just given ibuprofen now also.

Ohh I'm so sad about this. I've noticed him crying when I leave the room for naps as well recently. But today he self settled for nap fine. And last night for bed not a peep. It's so random...

Boo I hope Noelle is right and it passes quickly! Sounds really tough!!

 

[bananaz]

I can't do this anymore. I feel like her sleep is getting worse again. She can't seem to sleep for more than 3 hours and me and oh have just had a hellish time trying to resettle her and I completely lost my rag again It's 2:30am, she's been awake for 1.5 hours and she's showing no sign of going back to sleep. I don't understand it.

She's started waking half an hour after going to bed instead of an hour after going to bed. Then 2 hours after that, followed by a 2-4 hour stretch, then the same again. Although the past few nights its been every 2-3hours it feels like.

She has 2 naps a day usually at least an hour long each, rarely exceeding or reaching 2 hours in length. If for some reason she only naps for 30minutes then I'll usually throw in another cat nap to prevent over tiredness.

I'm so tired, I feel like I can't do this anymore. Oh is currently in there trying to settle her because I just can't. I feel like crap. I've let her cio a few times but haven't been consistent with it, need to decide if I truly want to go down the cc/cio route or not. I don't think any other methods would work tbh but it's so hard hearing her cry.

People have been saying sleep starts to improve at around 7 months, she's almost 7 months so I'll be interested to see if this rings true for her. I'm at a loss as to why she won't sleep for longer than 3 hours most of the time though. It's definitely not hunger. I agree with the others, its super tough going from having a relatively good sleeper to an absolutely crap one. Makes you feel like you've done something seriously wrong.

Agh I'm so sorry, that's tough. If she you don't think she's hungry and she isn't really eating much during these wakings I'd suggest having your OH take over for a few nights, if possible. It might help remove some of the incentive for the wakings and it would give you a much-needed break.

How long did she cry when you left her to it?

Edit: About the long night wakings, that also happened with my LO at that age (and many other people on here experienced the same thing). I really do think they can be developmental, though of course that's no consolation when it's the middle of the night and you're exhausted

 

[bananaz]

Ok I think I'm going to cry!

We are officially having the worst bedtime we have had since the day he was born!

All was fine and normal, he had his 9oz bottle got his wind up, had his song time and then down to bed as usual. Usually will self settle with either not a single peep or a teeny bit of fussing

Tonight as soon as I walked out the room he started to scream. Left him for 5 mins but ear-piercing awful scream like in pain. So went back in to settle. Repeat over and over. Has now been screaming for 45 mins. Wtf?!?! I actually have no idea what to do! He screams as soon as we walk out.

The only thing I can think is he was fussy at my friend's today. I wondered if he was in pain then so gave calpol. Have just given ibuprofen now also.

Ohh I'm so sad about this. I've noticed him crying when I leave the room for naps as well recently. But today he self settled for nap fine. And last night for bed not a peep. It's so random...

Aw hon that's terrible, big hugs to you My LO had a night like that a few days ago. It took over an hour to get her to sleep when normally it takes <10 minutes. I'm still not sure what the issue was, but she went back to normal the next night. Hopefully it's just a random blip for Jack too.

 

[Sunnie1984]

Gah....

WW37 kicks butt
Stomach flu for the entire household TWICE in three weeks is worse
Sitting up in cot in sleep is annoying
Standing unaided is YAY but also affecting sleep
Naps are too long and causing late bedtime and early waking, probably night wakings too
Hubby away lots, grrrr


Stephie if you want C to sleep longer for his naps you could look at beginning to extend wake times very slowly (will means transition to two naps but would keep the early bedtime - this is what we did - as per the baby whisperer), so he gets longer naps. He's at the age my LO began to respond to this and dropped to two naps. Ps where are you n expat?

Everyone else, I have been reading, sorry to see new faces here (because your not getting sleep - not be use I'm anti social!) and sorry to see some problems with the longstanding members!

Bananaz just realised E looks remarkably similar to my DD, very beautiful photo.

X

Hi Sunnie, that sounds awful! You poor thing!

We are in Dubai. Culver was born here and we have been here almost 5 years. He actually responds well to a longer wake time, so I think it's worth a shot. I'm not sure if you remember, but what waketimes were you doing at 6-7 months? He's currently doing 2.5-3 hourly waketimes with three naps... Maybe he is awake too much?! He slept 7-530 last night (with about 7 wakeups) and day sleep was three hours.

ETA- his natural pattern is 3 x 30 min naps but sometimes I can rock him back to sleep.

How random, we are in Dubai as well!

I think Seren was doing about the same as C a that stage, but some babies can tolerate longer awake times.

I'd just add 10 mins to the first awake time and hold it there for three days and then extend again.

We also found extending each awake time by 10 mins helped a lot, so after three days you increase the second awake time by 10 mins and leve the first awake time with just the 10 mins increase, then work your way back around again, does that make sense?

I just waited until she did tired signs and did 10 mins of quiet time before putting her down.

Hope that helps! X

 

[stephie_corin]

Sunnie, small world! I'm sending you a message! Thanks for the tips, really appreciate it!

 

[Boo44]

Good point Polaris! Hope tonight isn't so bad for you. We've sometimes had multiple wakings early on only to get a nice long stretch after midnight.

I'm convinced our babies have their own forum. Bedtime has been like a dream recently, but Boo, Charlie is really fighting it tonight!

Lol I can just imagine it!

'Hey guys let's fight bed time tonight!'

 

[polaris]

Good point Polaris! Hope tonight isn't so bad for you. We've sometimes had multiple wakings early on only to get a nice long stretch after midnight.

I'm convinced our babies have their own forum. Bedtime has been like a dream recently, but Boo, Charlie is really fighting it tonight!

Lol I can just imagine it!

'Hey guys let's fight bed time tonight!'

'I think mummy's starting to think she has my sleeping figured out, give me a few new ideas quick! Has anyone been through this and managed to revert back keeping her awake all night again, and if so, how did you do it?'

 

[Twister]

Thanks for the replies. Absolutely shattered today. I let her cry for about 5ish mins. Then she started getting really upset so I went to her. A few nights ago she cried for 30mins which was awful so I went in. And since then I hadn't done it again because I felt so guilty. I think part of it is because I'm not sure if I'm doing it right, and I don't want to 'cause damage' by doing it wrong which is silly but you know what I mean? I guess if I'm going to do it I need to be more consistent with it and do it at ALL sleep times, not just at night, is that right?

I think I might start getting oh to help at night a bit more, but mainly on weekends has his job involves driving so obviously he needs to be well rested for that. Tonight I'm going to try and settle her without feeding her. It's hard because in the middle of the night all I can think about is going back to bed and boobing her is the quickest/easiest way to get her back down (although even that is coming increasingly difficult now). I guess I should expect some tears.

I feel like I'm doing it all wrong.

 

[Twister]

Oh and forgot to add, she settles fine for naps and bedtime, sometimes even self settling and she's rarely bf to sleep at those times.

Eta: except for this nap, she's not settling for her first nap very easily. Probably because she's overtired from last night

 

[MrsButterfly]

Twister - I'm just popping in here but wanted to say my lo's sleep was absolute hell 6-7months. I cried about it most days I was so shattered. Could have written your posts. i tried everything but in the middle of the night my resolve was non existant so cc and CIO were all tried but i couldnt stick to it so we co slept as it meant i got *some* sleep.

Then after he turned 7 months, one day he woke up a different baby. I've since seen on here that's quite common. So I'm really hoping same happens for you.

 

[Twister]

Thanks. That's giving me some hope.

It's just frustrating because I thought her sleep was improving, she did a few nights of only waking up twice and it was great. Roll on 7 months!