Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[mrssunshine78]

Thanks Sunshine. My main concern is too much daytime sleep making night sleep worse... But I think we will run with it and see how it goes!

I understand that concern!!

 

[mellyboo]

Jordyn woke up 3 times last night went to bed at 8 and its 930 and she's not awake yet so weird

 

[seaweed eater]

Sorry about the early wakings. I hope all the early wakers start sleeping in!

Polaris, I'm sooo glad to hear things are going better with Clara I hope Thomas starts doing better without that nap soon. This has been a long transition for him, hasn't it? At least it's the last one, right?

Melly, hope the rest of your night goes well!

NotNic, good luck at work I hope the transition continues to go well for F!

Stephie, the naps sound great if they are working for you. I think you'll know right away if it's too much daytime sleep. Most likely what will happen when he's ready to drop to two naps is he'll start either fighting the third one or fighting bedtime. Of course some babies don't do the logical thing, but mine is one who generally needs routine for his sleep patterns, and even he was pretty clear about dropping the nap.

Regarding teething, it seems like some babies make it clear when a tooth is about to erupt, but ours didn't. We've had a million false alarms, he's pulled at his ears for months, his gums have been swollen for months, he's always chewed on everything, he even went through three weeks of loose stools a couple months ago, and everyone from daycare to my mom to our doctor has told us the first one was on its way when it wasn't. And of course his sleep is pretty variable in any case so there was no telling from that. I was just telling someone yesterday an hour before I discovered the tooth that teething has become a joke for DH and me -- like when he has a bad night we say "I bet it's teething, ha ha." I was honestly shocked that it really was this time.

Speaking of which, our night was MUCH better!! A bit short but only 2 brief wakings. I will soooo take it. Today was the day we were planning to reevaluate starting sleep training again, but I think we'll wait a few more days to get a baseline that's not disrupted by teething pain (and to make sure that's not a factor before we start something new).

 

[Noelle610]

Great news seaweed!

 

[stephie_corin]

I am apologising again, and profusely, for posting so much about me, me, ME on this thread today.

But, I have one more quick question about naps. So far Cs sleep tonight has been the same as if he had his usual three 30 min naps. For those who missed my earlier post, I have extended his middle nap and it's been 1.5-2 hours yesterday and today (with am and pm nap being 30 mins). The only result (so far) seems to be a later bedtime.

I have a great DH but he works long hours and we are expats so I have no family whatsoever to help. This means I look after Culver pretty much 24/7, his whole 6.5 months of life. I love him. We all love our LOs, I know! But mamma is tired!

Is there a good developmental reason why he should take a long nap instead of a cat nap at midday? Because to be perfectly honest, 6pm bedtime is easier for me than a 7pm bedtime, especially if he is having the same number of night wakings and same early waking in the morning. If it's better for him I will rock him to sleep and hold him as long as he needs, but if there is no benefit then (selfishly) I may just let him cat nap and aim for earlier bedtime.

In the same vein, how long should I stick to the extended nap routine to be able to judge if it is improving night sleep? Sorry that's two questions!

Sorry for the essay!!!

 

[Noelle610]

I am apologising again, and profusely, for posting so much about me, me, ME on this thread today.

But, I have one more quick question about naps. So far Cs sleep tonight has been the same as if he had his usual three 30 min naps. For those who missed my earlier post, I have extended his middle nap and it's been 1.5-2 hours yesterday and today (with am and pm nap being 30 mins). The only result (so far) seems to be a later bedtime.

I have a great DH but he works long hours and we are expats so I have no family whatsoever to help. This means I look after Culver pretty much 24/7, his whole 6.5 months of life. I love him. We all love our LOs, I know! But mamma is tired!

Is there a good developmental reason why he should take a long nap instead of a cat nap at midday? Because to be perfectly honest, 6pm bedtime is easier for me than a 7pm bedtime, especially if he is having the same number of night wakings and same early waking in the morning. If it's better for him I will rock him to sleep and hold him as long as he needs, but if there is no benefit then (selfishly) I may just let him cat nap and aim for earlier bedtime.

In the same vein, how long should I stick to the extended nap routine to be able to judge if it is improving night sleep? Sorry that's two questions!

Sorry for the essay!!!

1st, post away. This thread originated as a totally self-indulgent rant by yours truly! It's good that others are actually getting something out of it.

There is no reason you can't do three catnaps and an early bedtime if that's what you prefer. As long as you respect appropriate wake times, he'll be fine. It all evens out. It's common for good nappers to need less sleep at night and vice versa.

 

[stephie_corin]

Thanks Noelle. I so appreciate all the advice and support I get on this thread from you and others. 6 babies were born to family and friends within weeks of Cs birth and he is the only one not sleeping through the night, and not only not sleeping through the night but waking every hour! I'm not glad others are as sleep deprived as me but it is nice to know others are going through/have been through the same thing. Makes me feel less crazy and like I'm failing parenting 101.
Xxx

 

[Sunnie1984]

Gah....

WW37 kicks butt
Stomach flu for the entire household TWICE in three weeks is worse
Sitting up in cot in sleep is annoying
Standing unaided is YAY but also affecting sleep
Naps are too long and causing late bedtime and early waking, probably night wakings too
Hubby away lots, grrrr


Stephie if you want C to sleep longer for his naps you could look at beginning to extend wake times very slowly (will means transition to two naps but would keep the early bedtime - this is what we did - as per the baby whisperer), so he gets longer naps. He's at the age my LO began to respond to this and dropped to two naps. Ps where are you n expat?

Everyone else, I have been reading, sorry to see new faces here (because your not getting sleep - not be use I'm anti social!) and sorry to see some problems with the longstanding members!

Bananaz just realised E looks remarkably similar to my DD, very beautiful photo.

X

 

[Noelle610]

Thanks Noelle. I so appreciate all the advice and support I get on this thread from you and others. 6 babies were born to family and friends within weeks of Cs birth and he is the only one not sleeping through the night, and not only not sleeping through the night but waking every hour! I'm not glad others are as sleep deprived as me but it is nice to know others are going through/have been through the same thing. Makes me feel less crazy and like I'm failing parenting 101.
Xxx

I feel like moms of "bad" sleepers are made to feel it's some failing on their part. Sure, we sometimes are responsible for bad habits, but it's largely down to personality. Most parents with babies that STTN simply got lucky.

Try not to compare, though I know it's hard. My DH and I were just talking about this this morning. Our baby used to be a shit sleeper and now she's great. Her daycare buddy was a great sleeper for the first 6 months and now sleeps like crap. I think I'd prefer it our way! A good sleeper early on is not a guarantee of things to come!

 

[Noelle610]

Sunnie that sounds awful! mama

 

[Boo44]

Ok I think I'm going to cry!

We are officially having the worst bedtime we have had since the day he was born!

All was fine and normal, he had his 9oz bottle got his wind up, had his song time and then down to bed as usual. Usually will self settle with either not a single peep or a teeny bit of fussing

Tonight as soon as I walked out the room he started to scream. Left him for 5 mins but ear-piercing awful scream like in pain. So went back in to settle. Repeat over and over. Has now been screaming for 45 mins. Wtf?!?! I actually have no idea what to do! He screams as soon as we walk out.

The only thing I can think is he was fussy at my friend's today. I wondered if he was in pain then so gave calpol. Have just given ibuprofen now also.

Ohh I'm so sad about this. I've noticed him crying when I leave the room for naps as well recently. But today he self settled for nap fine. And last night for bed not a peep. It's so random...

 

[Noelle610]

Oh Boo so sorry! Give in 30 minutes or so and see if the ibuprofin works.

We went through a phase with Charlie where she would scream when we left the room at bedtime. She'd throw her pacifier and lovey on the floor. It was so frustrating! Like Jack, she had always been easy at bedtime. It was taking 45 minutes - 1 hour to get her down. It passed quickly... I think it was just a phase.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

eeeek Seaweed remember how I told you to give your LO Advil for teething before bed? Well I forgot to do it myself even though I knew Sofia's second tooth was on the way :/ So she woke up at 3:00 am in pain. I went in and gave her the Advil but it took her till 4 am to go back to sleep....

Damn I should take my own advice!!! Can't wait for this second tooth to be out.

Boo - so sorry to hear you had to hear Jack crying so much! Hope it passes soon. I don't have the stomach to hear Sofia cry at all since she hasn't cried before bed in so long.

Sunnie - awwww so sorry about the stomach bug,... I found sitting in sleep disturbed sleep for us too. But it only took 2 nights so hope it passes soon for you too.

 

[Boo44]

I'm a bit worried its separation anxiety now Today I left him for 2 hrs at my SIL's as a sort of 'taster' for next week. He was absolutely fine. He doesn't have separation anxiety that I've noticed really. But tonight this was definitely as soon as we walked away the screaming would start...

OH has gotten him to sleep now by standing in sight and shhhhing. But I'm feeling awful because I like him to self settle.

Noelle what did you do to help Charlotte during that stage? As with everything, I'm panicked now that this will be his new normal

 

[Noelle610]

Boo, I hear you - I'm a worrier too!

I didn't really do anything different. I'd give her 5 or 10 minutes to fuss to see if she'd put herself to sleep and if not, I'd lay her down, give her her pacifier and her little blankie, say goodnight and walk out. It started to get really frustrating because I value my evenings and like to go to bed early, but I was spending so much time soothing her. I think it lasted 2 weeks.

 

[Boo44]

Ok 2 weeks. I'll prepare myself...

Did she sleep ok once she was off?

I know! Was a shock, we have had the same routine for months on end and so OH had our tea ready and we both ended up eating cold food

 

[Noelle610]

She did! She slept through the night without a peep after she finally went down.

 

[NotNic]

Boo, Jack and Finlay are so similar it's scary. I'd swear they are virtual twins!! As soon as Finlay learnt to crawl he mastered standing up very quickly. We then had about 2 weeks of rubbish bedtimes. He would stand and scream. We never had a problem before with bed times. We just kept laying him down, leaving the room and going back in as the cries got loud. It was knackering but each night it got better. We just stayed consistent in not going in too soon and making sure he didn't get too much attention. Knowing i was going back to work made me a bit tougher with clingy-ness. I tried my best to be firm but it was tough. It also got much better once he learnt how to sit back down again. Not sure if that's what's happening with Jack but we found lots of practice in the day helps. Now he calls out and if we don't go to him immediately he often sits down and entertains himself.

Thanks for your work well wishes! Today was alright for both of us. Finlay had 3, 30-45min naps but needed reassuring. Twice he fell asleep on the key workers but was put to bed and didn't disturb. He enjoyed playing, ate well (even had seconds) and looked shattered when we picked him up! Fingers crossed for a good night! xx

 

[polaris]

I feel like moms of "bad" sleepers are made to feel it's some failing on their part. Sure, we sometimes are responsible for bad habits, but it's largely down to personality. Most parents with babies that STTN simply got lucky.

Try not to compare, though I know it's hard. My DH and I were just talking about this this morning. Our baby used to be a shit sleeper and now she's great. Her daycare buddy was a great sleeper for the first 6 months and now sleeps like crap. I think I'd prefer it our way! A good sleeper early on is not a guarantee of things to come!

Well, I have had a shit sleeper who gradually became a good sleeper (DS) and an initially good sleeper who gradually became a shit sleeper (DD). And I can tell you, the first way is easier psychologically! At least that way you feel like you are eventually managing to "fix" the problem and get your LO sleeping properly, you feel like it's all paying off. Whereas when you have a good sleeper who turns bad you just feel like you must be doing something wrong!

I think our run of good nights is due to be broken tonight, she's been awake a couple of times already and it's only 11 p.m., she's currently moaning a bit but not properly awake. I'm pretty sure it is teething though. Her bottom gums are definitely sore because she wouldn't let me touch them this evening and I can see the tooth clearly under the gum. She's just had Nurofen half an hour ago so hopefully that might settle her a bit!

 

[Noelle610]

Good point Polaris! Hope tonight isn't so bad for you. We've sometimes had multiple wakings early on only to get a nice long stretch after midnight.

I'm convinced our babies have their own forum. Bedtime has been like a dream recently, but Boo, Charlie is really fighting it tonight!