Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[AllyTiel]

Im not going to get in the habit of feeding her when she hasn't needed feeding in the night in so long.

Are you sure your LO isn't waking to be fed? Just because she didn't need feeding before, doesn't mean she isn't hungry at night now. My LO used to sttn, some nights she still will do that and others she will wake to feed up to four times. Just saying, I think it is very important to rule out hunger as a cause for her waking.

I agree with this. My LO didn't used to wake this much and she guzzles my milk down every time. Also, if I wake up hungry I can still go back to sleep....
my LO never cries in the night either, she just kinda grunts. But even then, I give it a max of 15 mins before feeding her. X

I think it's such a tough call to make. On one hand, you want to feed a hungry baby, but on the other hand, you don't want to encourage night feeding out of habit rather than necessity (unless you enjoy it, which is fine). Different sources say different things - Ferber insists a baby doesn't need to be fed at night after 3 months while Weissbluth says breastfed babies may need 2 night feeds until 9 months. Both of these experts are actually fairly similar in their approaches to sleep, but they disagree greatly on these points.

I made an attempt to night wean my LO a few weeks ago, but I got the sense she wasn't ready. We just started on solids and she had really severe reflux as a young baby, so I don't want to go there quite yet if she still needs her calories. I'm also aware that there is a HUGE growth spurt at 6 months and she may need to eat more in the night at that time. I think that's the last major one, if I'm correct? At LO's 6 month checkup I'll discuss this with her doctor and if she's ready, we'll go ahead and slowly/gently cut out the night feeds.

And thats the thing. We just have to try and use the best mommy sense we can to do the best thing for our LO's.

 

[stephj25]

Im not going to get in the habit of feeding her when she hasn't needed feeding in the night in so long.

Are you sure your LO isn't waking to be fed? Just because she didn't need feeding before, doesn't mean she isn't hungry at night now. My LO used to sttn, some nights she still will do that and others she will wake to feed up to four times. Just saying, I think it is very important to rule out hunger as a cause for her waking.

I agree with this. My LO didn't used to wake this much and she guzzles my milk down every time. Also, if I wake up hungry I can still go back to sleep....
my LO never cries in the night either, she just kinda grunts. But even then, I give it a max of 15 mins before feeding her. X

I think it's such a tough call to make. On one hand, you want to feed a hungry baby, but on the other hand, you don't want to encourage night feeding out of habit rather than necessity (unless you enjoy it, which is fine). Different sources say different things - Ferber insists a baby doesn't need to be fed at night after 3 months while Weissbluth says breastfed babies may need 2 night feeds until 9 months. Both of these experts are actually fairly similar in their approaches to sleep, but they disagree greatly on these points.

I made an attempt to night wean my LO a few weeks ago, but I got the sense she wasn't ready. We just started on solids and she had really severe reflux as a young baby, so I don't want to go there quite yet if she still needs her calories. I'm also aware that there is a HUGE growth spurt at 6 months and she may need to eat more in the night at that time. I think that's the last major one, if I'm correct? At LO's 6 month checkup I'll discuss this with her doctor and if she's ready, we'll go ahead and slowly/gently cut out the night feeds.

And thats the thing. We just have to try and use the best mommy sense we can to do the best thing for our LO's.

every mummy knows what is best for her own child, I'm sure you are doing absolutely fine

 

[Button#]

Ashley has always been a bad sleeper as well and last night it was really getting me down. He used to do 5-6 hours stretches followed by every 3 hours when he was about 3 months old which was fine until the 4 month sleep regression hit. We got through that at about 7.5 months and he started sleeping 5 hour stretches for about 3 weeks then we hit the 8 month sleep regression as well as the clocks changing. Now we have 1-2 hour battles at least once a night to get him back to sleep after he's woken up.

Ashley has a good bedtime routine and I don't feed him to sleep at bedtime and he goes down awake and settles himself. He also wakes up at different times in the night so I'm pretty sure he's waking out of hunger rather than habit. He's just learned to pull himself up to standing so when I'm trying to settle him at night he's trying to climb! It's really frustrating and he won't even go to sleep when I put him in bed with me which has always been my guaranteed way of getting him to sleep. I won't do sleep training though, especially as he goes down so well at the beginning of the night, so I'm stuck until he decides to sleep better.

 

[Noelle610]

Ashley has always been a bad sleeper as well and last night it was really getting me down. He used to do 5-6 hours stretches followed by every 3 hours when he was about 3 months old which was fine until the 4 month sleep regression hit. We got through that at about 7.5 months and he started sleeping 5 hour stretches for about 3 weeks then we hit the 8 month sleep regression as well as the clocks changing. Now we have 1-2 hour battles at least once a night to get him back to sleep after he's woken up.

Ashley has a good bedtime routine and I don't feed him to sleep at bedtime and he goes down awake and settles himself. He also wakes up at different times in the night so I'm pretty sure he's waking out of hunger rather than habit. He's just learned to pull himself up to standing so when I'm trying to settle him at night he's trying to climb! It's really frustrating and he won't even go to sleep when I put him in bed with me which has always been my guaranteed way of getting him to sleep. I won't do sleep training though, especially as he goes down so well at the beginning of the night, so I'm stuck until he decides to sleep better.

I'm sorry things started getting better for you and then you hit the second sleep regression! How unfair is that?!

 

[Button#]

Ashley has always been a bad sleeper as well and last night it was really getting me down. He used to do 5-6 hours stretches followed by every 3 hours when he was about 3 months old which was fine until the 4 month sleep regression hit. We got through that at about 7.5 months and he started sleeping 5 hour stretches for about 3 weeks then we hit the 8 month sleep regression as well as the clocks changing. Now we have 1-2 hour battles at least once a night to get him back to sleep after he's woken up.

Ashley has a good bedtime routine and I don't feed him to sleep at bedtime and he goes down awake and settles himself. He also wakes up at different times in the night so I'm pretty sure he's waking out of hunger rather than habit. He's just learned to pull himself up to standing so when I'm trying to settle him at night he's trying to climb! It's really frustrating and he won't even go to sleep when I put him in bed with me which has always been my guaranteed way of getting him to sleep. I won't do sleep training though, especially as he goes down so well at the beginning of the night, so I'm stuck until he decides to sleep better.

I'm sorry things started getting better for you and then you hit the second sleep regression! How unfair is that?!

I've heard this one is shorter than the 4 month one but we'll see. Like you said before it helps to think longer term and it's also reassuring to hear stories from people who have come through it with secure happy children.

 

[Noelle610]

Ashley has always been a bad sleeper as well and last night it was really getting me down. He used to do 5-6 hours stretches followed by every 3 hours when he was about 3 months old which was fine until the 4 month sleep regression hit. We got through that at about 7.5 months and he started sleeping 5 hour stretches for about 3 weeks then we hit the 8 month sleep regression as well as the clocks changing. Now we have 1-2 hour battles at least once a night to get him back to sleep after he's woken up.

Ashley has a good bedtime routine and I don't feed him to sleep at bedtime and he goes down awake and settles himself. He also wakes up at different times in the night so I'm pretty sure he's waking out of hunger rather than habit. He's just learned to pull himself up to standing so when I'm trying to settle him at night he's trying to climb! It's really frustrating and he won't even go to sleep when I put him in bed with me which has always been my guaranteed way of getting him to sleep. I won't do sleep training though, especially as he goes down so well at the beginning of the night, so I'm stuck until he decides to sleep better.

I'm sorry things started getting better for you and then you hit the second sleep regression! How unfair is that?!

I've heard this one is shorter than the 4 month one but we'll see. Like you said before it helps to think longer term and it's also reassuring to hear stories from people who have come through it with secure happy children.

Yes, I too have heard that. Hang in there mama. You're doing great.

 

[bananaz]

Sorry to hijack but I just have to vent. Last night was the worst ever She was up every 45 to 60 minutes all night. Each time I gave her a few minutes to settle herself but she wasn't going for it. Sometimes she wanted to eat, sometimes she wanted to be bounced, sometimes she wanted me to sing to her. Once she was crying really hard, so I picked her up and started to soothe her but she leaned toward her crib and when I set her back in it she immediately went to sleep?! I mean, WTF is going on?? I don't know how I'm going to function today.

 

[Noelle610]

Sorry to hijack but I just have to vent. Last night was the worst ever She was up every 45 to 60 minutes all night. Each time I gave her a few minutes to settle herself but she wasn't going for it. Sometimes she wanted to eat, sometimes she wanted to be bounced, sometimes she wanted me to sing to her. Once she was crying really hard, so I picked her up and started to soothe her but she leaned toward her crib and when I set her back in it she immediately went to sleep?! I mean, WTF is going on?? I don't know how I'm going to function today.

You can vent here anytime! How awful, you must feel like crap today.

Do you think maybe something was bothering her, like a tooth popping through?

I find those nights very frustrating, when it seems like LO wants to sleep but just can't.

 

[lysh]

I am reading all of this and my anxieties are high!!! lol I am wondering, between teething, growth spurts, WWs (never heard of that before) that sleep is going to be a distant memory for a long time. It is comforting to hear you manage the best you can as a working mom with lack of sleep. I start in 2 weeks.

 

[Noelle610]

I am reading all of this and my anxieties are high!!! lol I am wondering, between teething, growth spurts, WWs (never heard of that before) that sleep is going to be a distant memory for a long time. It is comforting to hear you manage the best you can as a working mom with lack of sleep. I start in 2 weeks.

Eek I'm sorry to make you anxious! I too feel like there's so much out there that can disrupt sleep. Scary, isn't it? Your LO might suprise you. I always dreaded my LO getting sick, thinking it would disrupt her sleep and she would be up all night like some babies. She's got quite the stuffy nose right now and she actually seems to be coping okay with it. She's not the best sleeper, but that doesn't both her. Some kids teethe really well. Just because your LO wakes frequently doesn't necessarily mean she'll be sensitive to the other things that cause night wakings. You never know.

The Wonder Weeks is book is actually pretty awesome and I highly recommend it. It really helps to understand why and when babies are extra fussy and helps to show there's a light at the end of the tunnel through each phase. They get farther apart as the baby gets older, so that's nice too.

All of that aside, we do what we have to to survive. This feels so never-ending for us now, but how many 3 year olds do you know that don't STTN on a regular basis? We will all sleep again!

 

[bumpbear]

My 7.5 month old has not slept more than 2 hours in a row in the last three months. From 2am she starts waking every 40mins to an hour. She used to sleep through the night 12 hours before that. I honestly don't know why it's fallen to pieces: we've tried everything 'no cry' style, but nothing works. I think we have reached the point now where we are going to attempt CC as we can't go on like this anymore. DH has called in sick to work on a couple of occasions due to sleep deprivation and his performance is slipping. I am a zombie, have cracked and spoken harshly to LO on a couple of occasions and feel like I can't be the good mum I'd like to be anymore. LO has dark circles and is constantly yawning. It will be good for all of us to get a nights sleep, so if it takes a bit of crying, so be it. I am going to use the sleep easy solutions DVD method. The DVD has been passed around my mother's group and has worked for everyone who has tried it within 3 nights. I hope it works for us too. Provided LO is well and not cutting a tooth, we start tomorrow night!

 

[Noelle610]

My 7.5 month old has not slept more than 2 hours in a row in the last three months. From 2am she starts waking every 40mins to an hour. She used to sleep through the night 12 hours before that. I honestly don't know why it's fallen to pieces: we've tried everything 'no cry' style, but nothing works. I think we have reached the point now where we are going to attempt CC as we can't go on like this anymore. DH has called in sick to work on a couple of occasions due to sleep deprivation and his performance is slipping. I am a zombie, have cracked and spoken harshly to LO on a couple of occasions and feel like I can't be the good mum I'd like to be anymore. LO has dark circles and is constantly yawning. It will be good for all of us to get a nights sleep, so if it takes a bit of crying, so be it. I am going to use the sleep easy solutions DVD method. The DVD has been passed around my mother's group and has worked for everyone who has tried it within 3 nights. I hope it works for us too. Provided LO is well and not cutting a tooth, we start tomorrow night!

I'm so sorry, that sounds awful! I am not against CC by any means, if the child is of the right age and the parent is ready. Sometimes children need to be taught to self-soothe. It doesn't come naturally to all babies in my experience. Best of luck! From what I understand, consistency is key.

I understand your need for sleep in correlation to being a good mom. I am well-rested today and I miss LO and wish I could be spending time with her even though I'm at work, since I actually have some energy! After a bad night I find myself easily irritated and counting down the hours until bedtime. I'm not as present and engaged. I just feel I could be a better parent with some consistently good sleep.

 

[stephj25]

The Wonder Weeks is book is actually pretty awesome and I highly recommend it.

I second this

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Noelle - I'm going through the same thing though my LO is younger than yours. She was one of those "magic" babies that started to sleep 7-9 hours starting 6 weeks. But 10 week hit and she regressed. I changed nothing in her routine, but she's all over the map now. Some nights she wakes up every 2 hours, some nights she sleeps 4 hours before waking up and... last night though she was up every 90 mins, I'm so friggin exhausted. I have to say that I am one of those moms who still work out though (I did boot camp today). I find the days I'm the most zombie like a workout really helps giving me energy. I definitely recommend it.

My biggest pet peeve is when some random person meets my baby for the first time and the first thing they ask is "does she sleep though?" ughhhh she's like 2.5 months old, what do you expect??

I know this will pass for us all. A baby will not necessarily be a better person just coz she/he sleeps through, lol!

 

[Noelle610]

Noelle - I'm going through the same thing though my LO is younger than yours. She was one of those "magic" babies that started to sleep 7-9 hours starting 6 weeks. But 10 week hit and she regressed. I changed nothing in her routine, but she's all over the map now. Some nights she wakes up every 2 hours, some nights she sleeps 4 hours before waking up and... last night though she was up every 90 mins, I'm so friggin exhausted. I have to say that I am one of those moms who still work out though (I did boot camp today). I find the days I'm the most zombie like a workout really helps giving me energy. I definitely recommend it.

My biggest pet peeve is when some random person meets my baby for the first time and the first thing they ask is "does she sleep though?" ughhhh she's like 2.5 months old, what do you expect??

I know this will pass for us all. A baby will not necessarily be a better person just coz she/he sleeps through, lol!

Those 90 minute nights are killer! When I would read about them before I had a baby, I thought, "How would I even cope?". But somehow, you do.

It's great that you are working out. I really need to get back into yoga. I've found even a brisk walk in the sun really does help. You would think it would make you MORE tired, but in the end it helps to revive you. I also think it helps me sleep when she's sleep and I do suffer from a bit of postpartum insomnia unfortunately.

You have got to love those people. I met a woman the other day with a 3 month old and I asked, "How is he doing". She said, "Great, he only gets up once at night!". I wasn't even asking about his sleeping, but I'm sure she is so used to having people inquire about it that that was her standard answer!

It sounds like your LO is a naturally good sleeper and will be once again. Being sick can really mess up their schedule for a bit. Hang in there mama!

 

[aliss]

Philippe woke 3x last night, at 9 days.

Honestly Noelle I gotta tell you.... as much as we mothers of bad sleepers (well, me FORMER) love to blame ourselves, I really do think we are given what we are given and there is only so much we can do.

I always blamed myself for Alex waking every 1-2 hours the first 6 months-12 months of his life and not STTN until 2 years old but tbh.... I think it was just the 'luck' of the draw??

I too remember wanting to throttle people whose baby woke 1-3x a night (and tbh I still do, if they don't realize how blessed they are). But then I secretly hope they learn the hard way with #2

 

[stephj25]

15 days after the beginning of this wonder week - Olivia only woke up once last night!! yay! I felt a little top heavy in the morning but hey ho - it might actually be over.
Just thought I would share for those that are struggling, it won't be long for you either hopefully xxx

 

[Noelle610]

Philippe woke 3x last night, at 9 days.

Honestly Noelle I gotta tell you.... as much as we mothers of bad sleepers (well, me FORMER) love to blame ourselves, I really do think we are given what we are given and there is only so much we can do.

I always blamed myself for Alex waking every 1-2 hours the first 6 months-12 months of his life and not STTN until 2 years old but tbh.... I think it was just the 'luck' of the draw??

I too remember wanting to throttle people whose baby woke 1-3x a night (and tbh I still do, if they don't realize how blessed they are). But then I secretly hope they learn the hard way with #2

Wow. Aliss, you deserve this... the universe owes you! I told you the next one would be a good sleeper

I completely, 100% agree that some babies just aren't predispositioned to be "good" sleepers. It's hard not to ask, "Why me?!" sometimes.

I'm generally a pretty good-natured person, but I must admit to secretly wishing that the two moms in my baby group with kids who have STTN since 6 weeks old go through the 8 month regression or have a more difficult time with the second. It's awful, I know!!! LOL. But I hate being asked, "Oh, she's still not sleeping?" when we get together.

 

[Noelle610]

15 days after the beginning of this wonder week - Olivia only woke up once last night!! yay! I felt a little top heavy in the morning but hey ho - it might actually be over.
Just thought I would share for those that are struggling, it won't be long for you either hopefully xxx

WOW, Steph! I really hope this is the start of the pattern. And hope you got some sleep as well. It's so hard when you're used to waking every 1-2 hours!

 

[stephj25]

15 days after the beginning of this wonder week - Olivia only woke up once last night!! yay! I felt a little top heavy in the morning but hey ho - it might actually be over.
Just thought I would share for those that are struggling, it won't be long for you either hopefully xxx

WOW, Steph! I really hope this is the start of the pattern. And hope you got some sleep as well. It's so hard when you're used to waking every 1-2 hours!

I woke up at 6 and couldn't get back to sleep again, I kept checking on Olivia to make sure she was still breathing