Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[jessicatunnel]

So glad things worked out Megan, and it's awesome you had such a good night too!

 

[MrsPear]

MrsPear - Her adjusted age is barely 4 weeks.

DH and I are thinking it might be an issue with what I'm eating. we have a sneaking suspicion that she has an intolerance to cow's milk protein so, starting today, I'm on a dairy-free diet. We're off to the doc's on Thursday to see what he has to say. Thankfully she's still gaining weight at a good rate, but the blood in her stool is getting worse which may also explain her fussiness. I'm hoping we caught it early enough that there won't be any lasting issues.

She's ben pretty lethargic all day but, given how her night was, it's understandable.

I hope you get to the bottom of it soon. Things like this are so much more stressful when you're too tired as well xx

 

[mrsbeano]

Yuck. Mummy insomnia is the worst. We had an awful day yesterday that culminated in me having to leave town without getting my errands done with a screaming baby all the way home.

I was so upset and DH just doesn't understand. He thinks he's a wonderful child and the truth is he is 100% better for DH. But for me, all he wants is to be held. I can't do anything all day. He won't just sit and entertain himself in the pushchair. As soon as we arrived yesterday he woke up after a 20 minute nap and screamed until I gave up and went home an hour later. He screamed until we were practically outside the front door again.

I tried to get an early night but didn't fall asleep until 11 and woke up at 1.30 waiting for him to wake up. He woke at 2 and I didn't get back to sleep.

I spent the whole day and night just thinking how disappointed I am that I don't enjoy being a Mum. I have a month left on maternity leave and feel like a spoilt brat that I haven't enjoyed it. Every other Mum doesn't want to leave their child and I'm looking forward to it. It isn't enjoyable to spend my days with him. DH just looks at me like I'm a monster.

I'm glad that your LOs sleep is improving. Ours is all over the place, still heavily disrupted by rolling and last night he decided he wanted food again. There will always be something until he is 2/3 years old, I can just tell that he is going to be that child.

I don't know why I signed up for this.

 

[MrsPear]

Yuck. Mummy insomnia is the worst. We had an awful day yesterday that culminated in me having to leave town without getting my errands done with a screaming baby all the way home.

I was so upset and DH just doesn't understand. He thinks he's a wonderful child and the truth is he is 100% better for DH. But for me, all he wants is to be held. I can't do anything all day. He won't just sit and entertain himself in the pushchair. As soon as we arrived yesterday he woke up after a 20 minute nap and screamed until I gave up and went home an hour later. He screamed until we were practically outside the front door again.

I tried to get an early night but didn't fall asleep until 11 and woke up at 1.30 waiting for him to wake up. He woke at 2 and I didn't get back to sleep.

I spent the whole day and night just thinking how disappointed I am that I don't enjoy being a Mum. I have a month left on maternity leave and feel like a spoilt brat that I haven't enjoyed it. Every other Mum doesn't want to leave their child and I'm looking forward to it. It isn't enjoyable to spend my days with him. DH just looks at me like I'm a monster.

I'm glad that your LOs sleep is improving. Ours is all over the place, still heavily disrupted by rolling and last night he decided he wanted food again. There will always be something until he is 2/3 years old, I can just tell that he is going to be that child.

I don't know why I signed up for this.

Do you know yesterday I could have written this myself. I feel so ashamed. I really love Joni, but I was trying to explain to OH, a lot of the time I don't actually enjoy being with her. I really think it's tiredness that does it. I feel like such an awful person inside because I don't think it's normal to feel this way. I think we may both be a bit depressed. I can't tell you what a relief it is to know that I am not alone though.

Yesterday she cried for over an hour when I was trying to get her to take her first nap, so I ended up just putting her on the playmat and going on the computer to calm down. She finally had a nap of less than 30 minutes and then was still crying afterwards. I wanted to get ready to go to the library so I had to just put her down crying whilst I got dressed etc. Then we caught the bus, and she slept for about 20 minutes. So she was still knackered and we didn't have any fun at the library. She slept about the same on the way home, was completely overtired at home and we spent about 1.5 hours rocking, singing, doing anything to get her to sleep and she had about 15 minutes in all that time. Finally she went to bed (what a relief) and since 1:30 she's been up at least once an hour if not several times.

So all in all, I feel like my days are a real battle to get her to nap, dealing with the aftermath of not having a nap, and dreading nighttime when I won't get any sleep.

I'm sorry to be on such a downer. I just feel so sad todya. Big hugs Mrsbeano, it truly isn't just you

 

[mrsbeano]

Do you know yesterday I could have written this myself. I feel so ashamed. I really love Joni, but I was trying to explain to OH, a lot of the time I don't actually enjoy being with her. I really think it's tiredness that does it. I feel like such an awful person inside because I don't think it's normal to feel this way. I think we may both be a bit depressed. I can't tell you what a relief it is to know that I am not alone though.

Yesterday she cried for over an hour when I was trying to get her to take her first nap, so I ended up just putting her on the playmat and going on the computer to calm down. She finally had a nap of less than 30 minutes and then was still crying afterwards. I wanted to get ready to go to the library so I had to just put her down crying whilst I got dressed etc. Then we caught the bus, and she slept for about 20 minutes. So she was still knackered and we didn't have any fun at the library. She slept about the same on the way home, was completely overtired at home and we spent about 1.5 hours rocking, singing, doing anything to get her to sleep and she had about 15 minutes in all that time. Finally she went to bed (what a relief) and since 1:30 she's been up at least once an hour if not several times.

So all in all, I feel like my days are a real battle to get her to nap, dealing with the aftermath of not having a nap, and dreading nighttime when I won't get any sleep.

I'm sorry to be on such a downer. I just feel so sad todya. Big hugs Mrsbeano, it truly isn't just you

Thank you for responding. Feeling pretty lonely here and as you say, its nice to feel as though there's someone else there who understands, although I am also sorry that you're having a rough time of it.

I KNOW its the sleep deprivation and its a really vicious circle. Quinn has had 2 separate weeks where he has STTN. By the end of the second time around, I managed to relax enough and also STTN. The next night he woke up again and the previous nights I was still up waiting for him.

Just feeling sorry for myself. I need to snap out of it. I've told my husband that he needs to be home from work ASAP at the moment and I'm going to make an effort to go out on my own before I lose the plot completely.

I am giving up on trying to get out and about during the day with Quinn though. It is too stressful to try and get him to nap outside of his cot and I've had enough of being the only person with the screaming baby in the pram. Yesterday I cried in Boots ffs!

Never, ever, ever again. Ever.

 

[MrsPear]

Do you know yesterday I could have written this myself. I feel so ashamed. I really love Joni, but I was trying to explain to OH, a lot of the time I don't actually enjoy being with her. I really think it's tiredness that does it. I feel like such an awful person inside because I don't think it's normal to feel this way. I think we may both be a bit depressed. I can't tell you what a relief it is to know that I am not alone though.

Yesterday she cried for over an hour when I was trying to get her to take her first nap, so I ended up just putting her on the playmat and going on the computer to calm down. She finally had a nap of less than 30 minutes and then was still crying afterwards. I wanted to get ready to go to the library so I had to just put her down crying whilst I got dressed etc. Then we caught the bus, and she slept for about 20 minutes. So she was still knackered and we didn't have any fun at the library. She slept about the same on the way home, was completely overtired at home and we spent about 1.5 hours rocking, singing, doing anything to get her to sleep and she had about 15 minutes in all that time. Finally she went to bed (what a relief) and since 1:30 she's been up at least once an hour if not several times.

So all in all, I feel like my days are a real battle to get her to nap, dealing with the aftermath of not having a nap, and dreading nighttime when I won't get any sleep.

I'm sorry to be on such a downer. I just feel so sad todya. Big hugs Mrsbeano, it truly isn't just you

Thank you for responding. Feeling pretty lonely here and as you say, its nice to feel as though there's someone else there who understands, although I am also sorry that you're having a rough time of it.

I KNOW its the sleep deprivation and its a really vicious circle. Quinn has had 2 separate weeks where he has STTN. By the end of the second time around, I managed to relax enough and also STTN. The next night he woke up again and the previous nights I was still up waiting for him.

Just feeling sorry for myself. I need to snap out of it. I've told my husband that he needs to be home from work ASAP at the moment and I'm going to make an effort to go out on my own before I lose the plot completely.

I am giving up on trying to get out and about during the day with Quinn though. It is too stressful to try and get him to nap outside of his cot and I've had enough of being the only person with the screaming baby in the pram. Yesterday I cried in Boots ffs!

Never, ever, ever again. Ever.

Haha parallel lives, I cried on the bus

It does help going out and about- I don't actually care what other people think of Joni crying but I just wish that I could enjoy my time being out with her instead of just desperately trying to stop her crying xx

 

[Noelle610]

MrsBeano, I know how you feel. Don't be too hard on yourself for not enjoying motherhood right now. Not everyone enjoys having a baby and I think that feeling is intensified by lack of sleep. My grandmother had 11 children (yes, you read that right) and she always claimed not to like the baby stage. But she LOVED kids. It feels never-ending at this time, but Quinn won't be a baby forever.

I love my "me" time. I often feel guilty about it. My moms group has a facebook page and many of the moms are constantly posting about how much they miss their babies when they are at daycare. Well, I'll be the first to admit that I often don't miss Charlotte. I often enjoy having someone else do the stressful things, like feed her (reflux) and get her to nap. Yesterday I took a day off of work and I still sent Charlotte to daycare. I needed a day to nap, watch bad TV, clean my house and put up our Chrimstmas tree.

It gets better. I know it does, because I choose to believe what the other moms on this board tell me Hang in there, mama.

 

[Noelle610]

So Charlotte slept straight through the night. I put her down at 6:30pm. She was extremely snotty and her tummy hurt from being constipated. My DH is away for work and I go to bed super early, so I gave her a dream feed at like 8pm and she only took a couple ounces. I thought for sure we were in for a tough night.

BUT, we weren't! Of course I woke up multiple times and checked on her, concerned she was ill since she hadn't felt well. She was just sleeping away. The best part was when I went to check on her at 5am and I decided to get up for the day for work. She lifted her head, looked at me, and put it right back down. I was very proud of her for settling so well!

I feel like I'm jinxing this good sleep by writing about it and next week we'll be back to hourly wakings. Oh well, guess it does me no good to think that way. It just feels too good to be true and I tend to be very superstisious

 

[mrsbeano]

Wow Charlotte! She seems to have 'got it' Hopefully you can start to relax and sleep normally too.

It is something to think actually. I don't have to enjoy the baby stage. Especially when you have a sleep depriving kind of baby. DH can just think I'm a monster. Everyone says that having kids is the best thing ever but maybe it'll just take a couple of years to get to that point.

 

[MrsPear]

Awww Noelle that's brill!! You will adapt to her sleeping patterns I am sure. I think the reflux has had a lot to answer for, poor Charlotte couldn't sleep before even though she clearly knows how. Your LO is a good month older than mine so I have hope that Joni will follow at some point! xx

 

[Noelle610]

If Charlotte can do it, I'm pretty sure any baby can haha.

 

[jessicatunnel]

Alright girls. In terms of sleep, last night was our best night EVER. She missed her last nap of the day, so had been up for four hours when she went to bed. She went to bed at six. When we went to bed at 9, I thought it was strange she hadn't woken yet, so I checked on her and she was still asleep, but I hit her dresser walking out, and it made her wake up so I fed her and she went right back to sleep.

Fast forward 6 hours (3am), I wake up and think WOW, why hasn't Lilly waken up yet??
I glanced over at the monitor and saw it was UNPLUGGED. I plugged it in, and about five minutes later Lilly started screaming, turns out her arm was stuck through the crib bars. I fed her, cuddled her, and put her back down. Then she slept until 8am, waking several times but no crying and she settled herself back to sleep.

I know she woke between 9 and 3 when the monitor was unplugged, and it breaks my heart knowing she was probably crying for me and I wasn't there. :/ I basically did unintentional CIO.

She's fine and happy today though.

I gotta say, even though I feel awful about last night, it was nice getting a whole six hour stretch of sleep, then getting another five hour stretch after feeding her.

 

[Noelle610]

Alright girls. In terms of sleep, last night was our best night EVER. She missed her last nap of the day, so had been up for four hours when she went to bed. She went to bed at six. When we went to bed at 9, I thought it was strange she hadn't woken yet, so I checked on her and she was still asleep, but I hit her dresser walking out, and it made her wake up so I fed her and she went right back to sleep.

Fast forward 6 hours (3am), I wake up and think WOW, why hasn't Lilly waken up yet??
I glanced over at the monitor and saw it was UNPLUGGED. I plugged it in, and about five minutes later Lilly started screaming, turns out her arm was stuck through the crib bars. I fed her, cuddled her, and put her back down. Then she slept until 8am, waking several times but no crying and she settled herself back to sleep.

I know she woke between 9 and 3 when the monitor was unplugged, and it breaks my heart knowing she was probably crying for me and I wasn't there. :/ I basically did unintentional CIO.

She's fine and happy today though.

I gotta say, even though I feel awful about last night, it was nice getting a whole six hour stretch of sleep, then getting another five hour stretch after feeding her.

Jessica, how close is your room to Lilly's? I don't think you necessarily did CIO - I think she may just be settling after a few minutes of fussing. I'll admit, I no longer use our monitor. I find we both sleep better with it off. Charlotte's a loud sleeper and I would often mistake her transitioning through sleep cycles as her "waking" and unintentionally go to "help her". If she needs me, I can hear her. Our rooms are right accross the hall from each other.

Glad you got some rest!

 

[katrinalorien]

Pear + bean - I have definitely thought about all of this. Sometimes I wonder if Lily will be an only child, despite my aversion to only having one. DH in fact said last night "you want to go through THIS again?" I hate that its put a strain on my relationship, taken away everything I was excited about, and generally soured the experience. But I know it will get better (at least I'm choosing to believe that) and it is getting better, at least for the moment.

Haven't gone through teething though...

Noelle - wow your nights are getting better! I'm so glad for you!

jessica - try not to feel bad - she's happy this morning, so she probably doesn't remember much of it. When I wake up in the middle of the night (at least before I had a kid...) and go back to sleep sometimes I can't remember it. I'm glad you got some sleep

Our sleep last night was strange again. She went down at 7:20ish, then up at 10:30 to eat. (It had been three hours so I was going by my 3 hr rule). Then she got up at 1:00, and it had only been 2 1/2 hours, so I tried to resettle her without eating. She did eventually go to sleep (and really it took only about 15 min tops), and then woke up at 3:30. Well it had definitely been a while since her last feed then (5 1/2 hrs!) So I definitely fed her at that point. She was HUNGRY too let me tell you. Then she woke up at about 4:50 ... or something.. I don't really remember because I looked at the clock, got up to switch her diaper, but before I had her diaper ready she was asleep again. Then up for the day at 7:10 ish.. so now its 8:45 and she's taking her first nap.

All in all, a great night.

 

[jessicatunnel]

You know I've been thinking and I think you may be right. Her room is across the hall from ours, about six feet between us. And if I'm upstairs during her nap and don't have the monitor I always hear her when she wakes up or cries. Surely I would have heard her if she cried last night, even without the monitor.

Maybe I have been going to her at night when its not needed.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Bananaz - OMG I just read your update! So if the ex is MIA he definitely has no leg to stand on. You can now have a big sigh of relief and remember we are all here for you

Mrsbeano - I totally can related! My baby is pretty easygoing during the day and used to sleep well BUT once she got sick and started teething, things went south and her sleep got terrible. While I was adjusting to her more frequent wakings, I developed insomnia. I would go to bed but lay awake until she would wake up, and even after she went down I still couldn't sleep. I went through weeks of getting 1-2 hours of sleep every 24 hours. I was a mess, crying like 6 times a day and not getting outta the house. I finally went to the doctor and he told me to start taking Melatonin which I'm still taking though my LO's sleep has improved. It took a few days for Melatonin to really work but now it's doing its magic

Noelle - OMG sweetie I'm so happy for you Remember when you opened this thread feeling desperate for some sleep? Does that feel like a long time ago now? Go Charlotte!

So last night my mom was here to keep my company while DH is outta town. Sofia went to bed at 7:45 pm with no soother and no fuss and my mom and I slept at around 10 pm. Sofia woke up at 2:45 am for feed. I fed her and then went downstairs to sleep some more (I always do this in the middle of night coz I'm terrified of not falling back asleep in my own bed, ughhh). But after 20 mins I heard crying so I came back up. Apparently Sofia was gassy so my mom had picked her up to help her. I was all pissed off coz I was training her not to need PU or soother but I had forgotten to tell my mom.

So I had to put her down again and let her fuss for like 3 mins. Then I went in, reassured her and left again. I had to do this for a good hour until she slept (I prob went in like 10 times). During this time she was actually asleep just fussing . I guess she had thought it was morning time coz my mom had picked her up, lol! So finally she slept at 4:00 am and stayed down till around 7:45 am when she woke up for the day.

I feel bad that I had got annoyed at my mom coz she was just trying to help I apologized this morning and made her a big breakfast. She apologized too coz she feels she made Sofia more awake. I do hope that things go back to normal tonight...

I wrote an essay lol! Hope you guys all had a great night

 

[Noelle610]

You know I've been thinking and I think you may be right. Her room is across the hall from ours, about six feet between us. And if I'm upstairs during her nap and don't have the monitor I always hear her when she wakes up or cries. Surely I would have heard her if she cried last night, even without the monitor.

Maybe I have been going to her at night when its not needed.

Your setup sounds just like ours. Try it without the monitor for a night. I bet she suprises you Although you may not sleep much be worried at first!

We got breathable bumpers for Charlotte's crib. We too had that "stuck in the bars" issue, she rolls everywhere. They really helped!

 

[jessicatunnel]

You know I've been thinking and I think you may be right. Her room is across the hall from ours, about six feet between us. And if I'm upstairs during her nap and don't have the monitor I always hear her when she wakes up or cries. Surely I would have heard her if she cried last night, even without the monitor.

Maybe I have been going to her at night when its not needed.

Your setup sounds just like ours. Try it without the monitor for a night. I bet she suprises you Although you may not sleep much be worried at first!

We got breathable bumpers for Charlotte's crib. We too had that "stuck in the bars" issue, she rolls everywhere. They really helped!

Thanks guys for your encouraging words.

I think I'm going to!
I've been looking into the breathable bumpers. This is only the first time this has happened, but I don't want it happening again! She was so scared.

 

[Noelle610]

Noelle - OMG sweetie I'm so happy for you Remember when you opened this thread feeling desperate for some sleep? Does that feel like a long time ago now? Go Charlotte!

Thanks Shadowy Lady! It does feel strange to have this experience after starting this thread. Let's just hope it lasts... I don't feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief yet

 

[Noelle610]

You know I've been thinking and I think you may be right. Her room is across the hall from ours, about six feet between us. And if I'm upstairs during her nap and don't have the monitor I always hear her when she wakes up or cries. Surely I would have heard her if she cried last night, even without the monitor.

Maybe I have been going to her at night when its not needed.

Your setup sounds just like ours. Try it without the monitor for a night. I bet she suprises you Although you may not sleep much be worried at first!

We got breathable bumpers for Charlotte's crib. We too had that "stuck in the bars" issue, she rolls everywhere. They really helped!

Thanks guys for your encouraging words.

I think I'm going to!
I've been looking into the breathable bumpers. This is only the first time this has happened, but I don't want it happening again! She was so scared.

I know, it's so sad! It also disrupts everyone's sleep, so no fun.