Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[lysh]

I do not have a lot of time to reply or update....but it just hit me how it is funny how much we focus on getting our kids to sleep now and yet one day we will be fighting to get them out of bed and up in the mornings! lol

 

[AmyS]

Miss Vintage - That's a long wake time, 1-4! I wouldn't worry too much about ruining your hard work - if he's getting sick, he might have needed a little more cuddles!

detterose - What did you find out from the doctor? Could be teething too - it can hurt to suck on a bottle. (I scrolled down, and see Stephie says the same thing!) Glad you figured it out and got some rest in!

Stephie - I haven't got a nap plan yet! I'm so unsure about it. If I do some form of cc/cio, then I'll need to take a couple of days off of work I think, so that we can do it a few days in a row over a weekend. I'm not sure how they do it in the next room - when I go in tomorrow, I'm going to talk to the lady who watches the kids in there and find out - since Chloe could be going over there in the next few months, it would make more sense to do things that way.

Is Cully fighting bedtime by crying or just not acting tired? A few times last week, I tried to put Chloe down and she would pop back up and start acting silly, so I let her crawl around and tried again about 30-45 minutes later. I know it's hard to lose your adult time in the evening though! With his long wake times, it's kind of hard to have an earlier bedtime!

Lysh - I completely agree with you! I always joke that someday I will get my revenge - when she's a teenager, I'll be getting her up at 5am to help me clean or something.

polaris - Today, I am stressed!!!!!!!!!
_____________________

So yesterday at daycare, she had a couple of good naps, BUT, they had to hold her for them. They told my hubby that she has the stamina of 10 babies, and that when they put her down to CIO, she will not stop crying until they pick her up - and they have to pick her up, or she keeps all of the babies awake! I feel awful about this.

I don't know how to handle this exactly. I don't really want to do cc or cio. As I said to Stephie up top, I'm going to talk to the lady in the next room up tomorrow and see exactly how she does naps in there, and then maybe we will just start doing things that way. Unfortunately, that won't help her in her current room, but I don't know how to do things my way that the providers can/will follow through with at daycare. Ugh.

 

[stephie_corin]

Amy, I hope you do find a solution. I do think CIO/CC just doesn't work for some babies. I'm not saying its a bad thing - just that some babies are super resistant to it. Could they wear her in a carrier? Would she nap that way? I hope something works soon! What about extending her waketime right out so she ets one good nap?

Cully just doesn't seem tired... I feel like he would stay up forever if I didn't rock him and rock him and rock him... I didn't want to do this but I think I will have to make a 'no naps past 4 and if its past 4 then only 15 minutes' kind of rule, which is not really GWTF!

Lysh, I agree - we spend so much time thinking about this

 

[AmyS]

Amy, I hope you do find a solution. I do think CIO/CC just doesn't work for some babies. I'm not saying its a bad thing - just that some babies are super resistant to it. Could they wear her in a carrier? Would she nap that way? I hope something works soon! What about extending her waketime right out so she ets one good nap?

Cully just doesn't seem tired... I feel like he would stay up forever if I didn't rock him and rock him and rock him... I didn't want to do this but I think I will have to make a 'no naps past 4 and if its past 4 then only 15 minutes' kind of rule, which is not really GWTF!

Lysh, I agree - we spend so much time thinking about this

You can still be GWTF and have a few necessary rules! Especially to preserve your much needed adult time!

My mom claims that my brothers and I never really napped as babies - and of course this is before the age of reading baby books and knowing what babies "should" and "should not" be doing. What happens if you just let him go and go and go? Does he get really cranky? Do your nights REALLY get bad then? I was surprised last week that Chloe would sleep so good after a day of basically no naps - it didn't even "catch up" with her this weekend like I feared it would. Maybe it's all a myth!

I don't think I could get them to wear her - I think they'd find it difficult to attend to the other babies that way. She hasn't fallen asleep in her carrier either, now that I think about it! Or her stroller...she is a stubborn gal! They unintentionally extended her wake time a few times last week when she didn't nap in the morning, and she still only managed 30-40 minutes with someone holding her. I don't think she can be fooled! I really don't think I will end up doing CIO/CC. It's just not for me or her. I am tempted to just start transitioning to floor naps like she'll take in the next room - I just need a plan!

 

[polaris]

Hi everyone.
Clara had another pretty good night last night, she did a three hour stretch at the start of the night which was fantastic! And she has been asleep two hours already this evening without a peep! So things are maybe turning a little corner for us, fingers crossed.

Stephie, I have given up on trying to get Clara to bed early. She is doing much better with a bedtime of 8.30 or 9. I don't generally let her sleep past 4 or 4.30 at the absolute latest. I am also thinking of limiting her morning nap to 1 hour. I would love to have her in bed early. Thomas was always fast asleep by 6.30 or 7 and it was wonderful to have adult time in the evenings. The only thing that saves my sanity at the moment is that I have got them both napping at the same time from about 2.30 to 4 so I have 1.5 hours of child free time during the day. But this means that Thomas generally doesn't want to go to bed until 9.30 or 10 by which time I am ready to drop from exhaustion!

Amy - Clara would also be the baby who screamed so persistently that she woke all the other babies. When we did CC with her she cried pretty much all night for the first night. I don't think she slept more than three hours the whole night and cried the whole rest of the time. I agree with Stephie that it just doesn't seem to be a good fit for some babies, whereas other babies respond really quickly to it and just go to sleep! With regard to your nap dilemma, I think that's a good plan to speak to the person in the next room and make a plan from there. Floor naps definitely could work. That is what we do and sometimes she feeds to sleep and sometimes she self-settles while I lie beside her. That might work if daycare could lie next to her while she fell asleep?

 

[lysh]

Amy- I have a stubborn girl too, so I can relate!!! I am so done with naps....some moms LOVE naptime.....just never been easy here. I have decided to give up on nap training.....it is just not going to work with my girl. She will nap for 30 minutes (typically) in her crib and the rest with me. I tried CC, CIO, Pick up, Put down, Singing lullabies, rocking, patting.....it is not worth the stress anymore! At some point she will grow out of this and when I go back to work she will adjust for whoever is watching her and if she doesn't we will deal with it!!!! Maybe when we wean it will be easier for her, who knows!

I sometimes do wonder if these 'sleep books' make us more crazy than they are worth. My MIL once said to me (when I was reading this books like crazy) to put the books down and listen to my baby. She said every baby is different and I need to listen to mine. I just kind of ignored that advice and kept reading....I am starting to understand why she said that.

Polaris- Hope things are getting better for you! My dd goes to be at 8 or 8:30...wakes up between 5 or 6 (if I am lucky). She just will never be a baby that sleeps 11-12 hours a night.

Stephie- I know how hard it is being 'on duty' all of the time. I like 'me' time too. It is hard when I am working because 'me' time is running around and getting ready for the next day, especially since dd goes to bed 8 or 8:30. Good luck with the earlier bedtime!


Again, every baby is different, but for those who might eventually use some sort of sleep training (night or for naps) I suggest not waiting until they are too old. We did some training (cc) just to get my daughter into her crib when she was 4 1/2 months old. I was about to go back to work and I needed to be able to go to sleep after 7...I use to go to bed with her every night because she would only sleep bfing all night long. I get that is earlier than what some experts recommend, but it was not for her to learn self-soothing, it was for her to allow us to put her into her crib which was not happening without some crying. At that point, I still got up whenever she wanted to nurse and for a while I was getting out of bed sometimes 8+ times a night. When she was slightly older, we did some CC to spread the feedings out a bit to at least 2 1/2 hours. When she cried before that time was up, DH would go and comfort her. She caught on fairly quickly, and after that she naturally spread feedings even further and further until I was only getting up twice a night. Eventually went down to one and then at around 11 months she pretty much STTN unless her routine was disrupted. When we did CC, she never really went past 10 minutes. There was a few times when she did almost 15, but rare. Now that she is older and more aware, I do not think I could do it. The one time I tried it with naps it was a disaster. I really think 6-9 months is the most opportune time....again, just my opinion based on recent experiences!

 

[seaweed eater]

Hey :wave: will have to catch up with you all a bit later, just a quick update from us. We just got home from a few days out of town with family...remember ages ago when I said Munchkin would need to sleep in the travel crib? That was this week!

He did well with it, though in a way oddly similar to the last round of ST -- extremely intense crying at bedtime the first night and then basically fine. I'm really not sure what to make of this pattern. I don't like it! If he is able to learn so quickly, shouldn't there be a way to avoid the trauma?

Things have been chaotic again, though, because as if the new bed weren't enough, our first experience with croup Sunday night nearly took us to the ER. Nothing scary last night, but still the usual miserable cold and fever. I'm guessing I'll catch it from him next. I'm so glad it hasn't been anything serious but still ready for all of us to be healthy again!

More later, wishing all of you a good night

 

[detterose]

Well it wasnt an ear infection. The doctor said it is a respiratory infeftion he has still but that doesnt explain the last 2.5 weeks because he got it after the wakings already begun. And the teething has only flared up in the last few days because I can tell he teethes as soon as he starts refusing his bottles. So I guess we are back at square one.. -sigh- How are the rest of you ladies xxx

 

[kitabird]

I give up! LO gets up at different hours for different lengths of time every night, there's just no pattern to it at all. The length and timing of his naps don't seem to have any bearing. Neither does anything else I do. He just does what he feels like doing, so I may as well stop trying to analyse it and accept that I'm doomed!

 

[lysh]

I give up! LO gets up at different hours for different lengths of time every night, there's just no pattern to it at all. The length and timing of his naps don't seem to have any bearing. Neither does anything else I do. He just does what he feels like doing, so I may as well stop trying to analyse it and accept that I'm doomed!

LOL....that was my LO for the LONGEST time before she started to STTN. Now, she just wakes up at different times. I got excited she was going to wake up at 6...back to 5. Naps were and will probably always be without a schedule, different lengths etc. until she is old enough to stop napping OR we are on a one nap a day schedule...who knows! I think some babies just do what they feel like doing and that is about it!

 

[lysh]

So yesterday naps were once again a disaster. She fell asleep at 9:10 in the morning (earlier than usual). I tried to put her in her crib (I always try, never know!) and surprisingly she stayed asleep. This NEVER happens for her morning nap...usually I try and she wakes up and that is it until the afternoon nap. So she slept for 30 minutes in her crib (typical) and then slept on me for another hour and a half. I figured we were screwed for the afternoon and we were....she was overtired and beside herself, so I had no choice but to let her nap at 4:30...tried to get her down earlier but she was not having it. So she slept for an hour on me. Bedtime was rough...she was tired, but not as tired because of her late nap. I pretty much had to sing 'Hush Little Baby' 10 times to get her to calm down because she refused to easily go into her crib. While I was singing and trying to calm her down, I went to lift my hand to pat her belly and she panicked, screamed loudly and threw her hand on top of mine. She thought I was going to leave her. My heart broke. I just continued to sing and then eventually she drifted off to sleep. I am telling you, the older they get the harder it is!

 

[polaris]

Last night was rubbish again after two good nights. Oh well, at least she has a couple of better nights!

 

[stephie_corin]

Amy, I've been thinking of you guys and I think if CC was going to work by now it would have, right? They've been doing it at daycare since she started? I know you said you probably won't go down that path but it crossed my mind today that it already seems ineffective with her. Or is the concern that because you're not doing CC at home that it's making the CC at daycare ineffective? It's such a tough situation. I really feel for you both.

SE, so sorry about the croup! I hope Munchkin is feeling much better now and I hope you had a nice break.

Detterose, I'm so sorry you don't have an answer. I've felt like that for months. I almost find myself hoping a doctor will find something so at least there is an explanation.

Kita, this is such a bad age for sleep. Even friends whose babies STTN have had sleep disruptions around this age. It doesn't make it any easier but I do think its normal. Hugs to you.

Lysh, I'm struggling with the late nap some days too - it's so tricky! My heart jerked a bit when you said she cried and grabbed your hand poor baby! It does get harder the older they get!

Polaris, sorry that you had a bad night after two promising ones! I hope tonight is better for you. I can't believe some nights Thomas goes to bed so late, you must be so exhausted!!! At least you get a little bit of time to yourself, but it's not much!

So today I didn't rock him for any naps and he did a 30 minute nap in the morning and then a 1.5 hour nap at 1pm (he SS twice!) and we had a 5 hour awake time before bed. It was a spectacular disaster... I had to rock him for ages to get him to sleep because he was so overtired! Work in progress I guess.

 

[AmyS]

SE - Croup?? Oh my! I hope he's feeling better now! That would be scary, even if it wasn't too bad. Chloe had a mild case of RSV this winter, and that scared me into trying to relactate, because I thought it was my fault that she got sick right after my milk dried up. (Ouch.)

detterose - Hang in there! He will be feeling better soon! Too bad the teething pain comes and goes.

kitabird - Do you think you're in the middle of the 8 month regression? I hear that can be a "fun" one.

lysh - Yay for napping in the crib, but sorry it led to a late afternoon nap. How heartbreaking that she panicked and grabbed your hand!! I am not looking forward to those days - I am such a pushover! I can't stand to see sad little babies.

polaris - She's keeping you on your toes! I see Clara is almost 1!!! How exciting - do you have a big party planned?

Stephie - As you can see, I've been getting suggestions from everywhere! Including the elusive Noelle... I agree with you, I really don't think any sort of cio/cc is the answer here. They've already been trying that and getting nowhere! For now, I have ordered velour sheets for her daycare crib (like the ones she has at home), and I'll just keep putting her down for naps like I have been. As long as night sleep is going okay, I will TRY not to stress.

No rocking for naps and ss twice!!! That's great!! Even though your bedtime was bad, I think he's moving in the right direction again! I can't imagine chloe going strong 5 hours later, yikes! That's a long wake time!
_____________________

Chloe had an ok night, with one hour long wake time from 2:30-3:30am, and then she was up at 5am. I couldn't get back to sleep after getting up at 2:30, because I have a sinus and ear infection - ouch. Thank goodness I work in a doctor's office and have access to things that will cure me quickly, I hope.

I pick Chloe up at 1pm today - so I hope she got a nap in this morning, otherwise she will fall asleep on the way home. That could be a disaster car nap! I hate those!

 

[polaris]

We had an odd day today, we all slept in until 8 a.m. (after a really rubbish night) which meant that Clara didn't want to take a morning nap. We had arranged to meet a friend at 11 and I hoped she might take a catnap in the buggy on the way but she didn't. Of course she fell asleep in the buggy on the way home and actually ended up sleeping for almost two hours!! She was starving when she woke up as she'd had no lunch! Anyway she was in really bad form for the rest of the day, as was Thomas because he didn't fall asleep for his nap (very unusual for him!). So we had a bit of a stressful evening but they were both fast asleep by 7.30 which makes a nice change!

Sorry to hear about so much illness going round! Amy, I hope you feel better soon, and SE, I hope Munchkin is much better now and that you don't catch it!

Stephie, fab news about the naps, shame about the bedtime. Five hours is too much for Clara too although she sometimes seems to want to stay awake that long.

Lysh - that is how Clara reacts if she catches me trying to sneak away too soon. Total panic and freak out. It's so strange because my son never wanted us to stay with him when he fell asleep. Actually he wouldn't go to sleep if there was someone in the room with him. Clara is the opposite. I always thought that it was because I had got him used to falling asleep on his own when he was young, but now I know that it was just his personality because it wouldn't have worked for Clara!

 

[Miss Vintage]

Hi everyone, well, we've had mixed nights. Another long night waking, I had to hold Leo until he fell asleep, I tried to put him down drowsy but he was having none of it! But since then things have been better. He's self settled at bedtime the last 3 nights, and yesterday and this evening we didn't even have to go in once. Night wakings are still rough but I finally am allowing myself to feel we might be turning a corner. At least I can hope there will be no more rocking!

SE, I hope munchkin feels better soon

 

[AmyS]

Thread on 2nd page = everyone's baby sleeping wonderfully??

Miss Vintage - Awesome news on the self settling!

Hope everyone else is doing okay!

We had a good night, but Chloe did wake up at 9:45pm. She was kind of having a temper tantrum, so I went in to see what was wrong and realized I had left her bedroom light on!! It's on a dimmer switch, so it was turned all the way down, but I don't usually switch it off until I check on her right before I go to bed. I forgot! She seemed so mad about it!

 

[mellyboo]

Seriously struggling with our afternoon nap since little miss decided to only wake up 2 times a night on avg now.

 

[detterose]

I don't want to speak too soon but the last 2 nights have been good. Last night he slept from 7-5.30 without waking and the night before 6 til 11 then 11.30 til 6.30. He is still only half finishing his bottles though.

 

[AmyS]

Seriously struggling with our afternoon nap since little miss decided to only wake up 2 times a night on avg now.

How long is her morning nap? Would it work to cap the morning nap a little shorter so that she's tired enough for the afternoon?

Two times a night is great!! I'd take that forever if it meant NO MORE REGRESSIONS!!!