Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[lysh]

I wish my DH could do night feedings.....I wish lo would not refuse bottles at night. As a working mom now it is wearing on me. Last night was a battle as she woke up every 2 hours or less. I let her fuss a bit the second half of the night and she did resettle but I am still awake watching the monitor. If DH could help more it would take all the pressure off of my shoulders.

 

[NotNic]

Finlay sttn (roughly 8pm - 7am) with an 11pm dream feed from 8 weeks, though we never sleep trained as such. He naturally went longer as he got older and we introduced a bedtime routine very early on around 4 weeks. We needed to do this to deal with the colic. I also tried not to put him down asleep if I could help it as I read somewhere that it is good to encourage them to go to sleep on their own and to self soothe. 7 weeks is definitely not too young to help them wind down in time for bed.

Naps wise though it took much longer for him to get the hang of napping, rather than getting exhausted and passing out.

 

[bananaz]

Aimee - My LO went through a similar pattern (regression at 5 months, down to one waking for a bit, then suddenly waking 3-4 times a night). I still don't really understand what happened but it does seem to have gotten better for us, so hopefully it will for you too!

Shadowy - Yay for sleep, but I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I hope the rest helps you recover

MiniKiwi - Haha, what the heck? Well that's awesome! Hopefully this is the start of a trend.

lysh - I can sympathize, it's definitely tough being the only person handling all of the night wakings. Does she only wake for food? Maybe you can designate a shift for your husband when LO has recently eaten so you can go to sleep without worrying about it? When my girl was sleeping really horribly my mom came over to help for a couple of nights and she took over all of the wakings from bedtime until midnight. This not only gave me a solid predictable chunk of sleep, but it also helped LO learn that she didn't need to eat to go back to sleep (when I went into her at night she always wanted to nurse!)



My LO kind of sort of almost slept through last night! Well she actually woke 3 times but she settled herself each time without any intervention on my part Unfortunately she decided to get up for the day at 5am but I actually felt rested for once so I didn't really mind.

I've been getting a lot of pressure from my family and my therapist to increase her solids, so I've started giving her three "meals" a day. I hate to say this, but I think it may be helping. I mean, she went almost 11 hours without eating! Or it could just be a total fluke, and I'm trying to create logic where there is none to make myself feel better

 

[Aimee1003]

Wow Bananas!! Congrats! Coleton only woke up 2 times last night. The first time he was up 1.5 and was very unsettled. I gave him tylenol and he slept 4 hrs straight. I haven't had 4 hrs straight in a week! So maybe he is teething!!!

I wonder if we should up Coleton 's solids? He gets 1-2 meals a day. He is under weight so the Dr said solids are for fun but main nutrition should be breastmilk because it has more calories (I know that is for all babies but with C they do not want solids to replace any breastmilk) . We are not allowed to him any other liquids either the entire first year- no water or juice.

 

[Aimee1003]

Probably should mention he is underweight due to a medical reason before someone assumes I don 't feed him...lol

 

[Noelle610]

Hi ladies I'm looking for some advice

LO had developed yet another cold/cough type illness since yesterday with high temps which has put him right off his food. When your LO hardly has any bed time bottle what do you do? Just leave over night as usual, or wake for a 'dream feed' at 11pm ish? I've not had this problem before! And don't really want to fall back into night feeding, as we haven't done that (touch wood) since 14 weeks. Obviously though because he's ill I don't want to do anything wrong!

Another q is - when LO isn't ill etc - I appreciated the advice re earlier bedtime in an attempt to eliminate his random but persistent early wakings but I've come across a problem! LO only really likes to have milk/food 4 hrs apart and doesn't really get hungry (is quite fussy with milk as I've posted about before).
Currently he has bottles and food around 7.30am, 11.30/12, 3.30pm and 7pm before a bed time around 7.30pm (often more like 8pm by the time he's asleep)

If that 3.30pm bottle is much later he has less at 7pm. I'm trying to make his bed time 7pm but I'm really struggling with bringing the bedtime bottle time earlier! Noelle I remember you said your LO is fussy too but you brought her bedtime forward - how did it affect her bottles?

As my LO doesn't usually have night feeds I may be more concerned than average re how much he takes....

When Charlotte was sick recently we offered a dream feed and fed on demand when she woke. We don't do night feeds anymore either. We were doing a dream feed for awhile, but we stopped over Christmas mostly out of laziness and she slept right through it! Anyway, she did not seem to want night feeds even after we gave them when ill. In fact, she woke from teething I tried feeding her to soothe her back to sleep and she refused. I know feeding at night when ill causing problems for some, but that wasn't our issue.

When do you offer solids? I typically offer the bottle first (Charlotte is fussy with her milk too and prefers food!) and then solids an hour later. This seems to work well. At night, she will have two bottles closer together. her days go something like this:

7am - bottle
8am - breakfast
10am - bottle
12pm - lunch
1pm - bottle
4pm - bottle
5pm - dinner
6pm - bottle

 

[Noelle610]

Hi ladies. So Charlotte had been sleeping beautifully the past week or so. She did great in New York over Christmas and slept through the night the past three nights at home! Naps have been excellent too with a 90 minute one in the morning and afternoon with minimal fuss. I'm probably totally jinxing myself, but I do hope this offers up some hope for those of you that are struggling.

Last night was awful though! C had a fever of 102 and just could not settle. It was odd because she was in a great mood all day and had no other symptoms - no cold, tummy ache, nothing. She went down easily at 6:30pm, but then woke 45 minutes later and wouldn't sleep until midnight. She then woke at 2am, 4am and 5:30am for cuddles. She did sleep in until 7:30am and is now napping at 9:30am. I think it's probably just a virus. We're going to see how she does tonight and if she isn't better take her to the doctor. Luckily my mom is here to help!

I wanted to add that we do three "meals" a day and the introduction of heavy solids has seemed to improve Charlotte's sleep. I know it's said that's untrue, but we've seen the opposite here. I don't know if it's because she is filling up during the day (she much prefers food to milk) or because it's helped her reflux. I also noticed she began sleeping better once I switched from combination feeding to all formula. Again, I know it's considered a myth that formula helps babies sleep longer, but I'm wondering if there is a connection for us. Perhaps I was eating something on a regular basis that was bothering her? I always fed breast milk at night assuming it would help her reflux. Just some observations.

 

[bananaz]

Wow Bananas!! Congrats! Coleton only woke up 2 times last night. The first time he was up 1.5 and was very unsettled. I gave him tylenol and he slept 4 hrs straight. I haven't had 4 hrs straight in a week! So maybe he is teething!!!

I wonder if we should up Coleton 's solids? He gets 1-2 meals a day. He is under weight so the Dr said solids are for fun but main nutrition should be breastmilk because it has more calories (I know that is for all babies but with C they do not want solids to replace any breastmilk) . We are not allowed to him any other liquids either the entire first year- no water or juice.

I was concerned about solids replacing BM too which is why I hadn't increased the amount before (also because I'm lazy, haha), but so far her nursing hasn't been affected as far as I can tell. To be fair she doesn't eat massive quantities - at most she'll have maybe 1/2 of a jar of pureed veggies or fruits at a "meal." In the mornings I give her rice cereal made with breast milk since I figure that's an easy way to sneak some extra milk and calories into her diet. I also always make a point of giving her the solids after a breastfeed so that she's filling up on milk when she's actually hungry and the feed isn't replaced.

Congrats on having a better night! It does sound like it could be teething-related, so hopefully it will be over soon and in the meanwhile you can manage his discomfort with Tylenol

 

[bananaz]

Noelle - So sorry to hear Charlotte isn't feeling well again I'm glad you managed to get her down for a nap. Hopefully whatever she has will be gone by tonight!

Last night was one of the best nights we've had in a long, long time. Elsie went down at 6:45pm and didn't wake up until 3:45am! 9 freaking hours! More amazingly, I was in bed asleep for 7 of those hours She did try to get up at 5am again but I left her in her crib and she actually went back to sleep until 7am after playing and fussing for a bit.

Someone should probably kill me now, I'm pretty sure we're not going to have a night this good ever again lol

 

[Aimee1003]

I think I will call the nutritionist and have her give me a set amount of solids to feed him. All this guess work is killing me. In his case, what is too little, what is too much??? He is gaining though so that is good.

Bananaz- wow! 9 hrs! That is awesome. And sleeping in til 7!!!!!

Noelle- sorry C is feeling poorly but I am glad her sleep is mostly better. It has been a long road to get there!!!

Did yall read the studies I posted about babies this age not sttn? It made me feel so much better.

 

[MiniKiwi]

Bananaz! That's awesome You must feel like a new woman after 7 hours straight. Interesting what you mentioned about the solids too, I'm going to offer Mia more food I think. She's BLW and has 2 meal times but tbh at dinner time she'd sit and eat for an hour if I let her. She's SO into food!

Noelle, sorry Charlotte is sick again but it really does sound like you've turned a corner since you started this thread! I hope she's better soon and keeps sleeping away!

I'm honestly shocked by Mia these lat few days/ weeks since she got out of hospital. I'm lying next to her now, she took herself off to sleep after 20 minutes of looking at her hands. No bouncing or walking. She's so inconsistent so I won't get my hopes up but something has really changed lately. Those months of rocking all seem worth it if she's learned to sleep by herself now. Btw, is this considered self soothing? If I'm lying with her? I don't care, just curious

 

[libbylou]

Sadly solids never made a difference for us. We do BLW but LO is very efficient and eats a lot...not kidding, one night she ate more lasagna than I did!! I was like wow I wonder if she'll sleep better tonight? Yeah no she was up after 2.5 hours that night

Last night was friggin awful.
DH and I went out for dinner and I spent the entire time worrying that LO would wake up and scream the house down while my friend was watching her (I've never left her with anyone other than DH and my mum and even that is rare, so it was tough to leave!).
She slept while we were gone, but woke up 20 mins after we got home (after 3 hours of sleep) and screamed for 3 hours unless I was rocking her or patting her back while she lay on her tummy in the crib...except I threw my back out and can hardly move so mostly she just screamed...she finally screamed herself out at 1:30am

Both of her naps have been horrendously short today and I'm ready to cry (ok I've totally already cried like 3 times today), all I wanted was a nap while she was sleeping but clearly that's not going to happen

 

[Larkspur]

Eight wake-ups last night. That is all.

 

[MiniKiwi]

Aww Larkspur it does get easier. At it's worst, we were rocking Mia to sleep for 4/5 hrs a night and up to 3/4 hours during the day. It was honestly tough. We're (touch wood) coming through it now and I'm so glad we didn't sleep train (no judgement at all to anyone who does! I know how hard it all is, I just really didn't want to). You will get through it, I hope it doesn't last long for you guys

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Bananaz - so happy for your and Elsie You deserve the rest mama...hope things stay consistent! Got my fingers crossed for you.

Noelle - so sorry Charlotte is sick again. But happy at least you have help. Sometimes I really hate winter and viruses. We're all sick in this house too

Minikwi - Glad Mia's self soothing. That's honestly the best step imo, haha! Once they learn it, you know they won't forget

Larkspur - awww sweetie I'm so sorry It will pass though hun. We had a few nights of soooo many wakups I couldn't even count. It did pass though, just make sure you have DH help around the house. That's the only way I managed tbh.

Libby - so sorry to hear about your night and especially your back

We're having mixed nights here :/ First of all, I've been putting Sofia to bed at 7 pm instead of 8 pm and she seems to prefer it. Since I've been so friggin sick, I had DH help with the night feeds for the last 3 nights. For this past 6 days, she's been waking up only once (between 12:30-2:00) for a feed and then down again till (6:30-8). But then yesterday she got sick as well so last night was rough. I was in bed with earache and woke up every time Sofia woke up even though I slept downstairs. She probab was up 7-8 times

I hate when babies get sick, it's like everything is out the window Gave her some baby Tylenol last night and this morning and now she's napping in her swing. My cold is lingering forever too coz I don't seem to get enough rest

 

[lysh]

Baby girl is actually napping in her crib so after starting my turkey meatballs, I am allowing myself to sit down and catch up a bit!

Noelle- Yay- so glad that Charlotte (other than getting sick) seems to have turned a corner with sleeping. I am crossing my fingers it sticks! I know how unpredictable these babies can be, but you figure one day it has to stick for the majority of the time!

Bananaz- I do the same thing with solids- I feed LO after a breastfeed (or soon after). That is what my pedi recommended. I am so glad to hear you got a good, long, rest!!! Is that the first she went that long???

MiniKiwi- That is great your LO is starting to self-soothe. My girl is still inconsistent- a few times she shocked me and went to sleep after being put down into the crib drowsy, but a majority of the time she still wants to nurse. I have not been as strict with the whole self-soothing stuff yet...I am going to give her a little bit more time (at least until she is a full 6 months, then start working on it a bit).

Larkspur- So sorry- I hate nights like that. I am hoping that does not happen again for you this evening!!!! Mama needs a break!

Libby- I am so sorry- I never relax when I am out for the evening because I am so worried with how LO will handle it that I do not even bother now! I am sorry it ended up being such a crazy night after having a nice dinner out (minus the worrying!).

ShadowyLady- I hope everything gets back on track- it sounded like your LO was doing such a good job!!!!! Sickness, teething, learning new skills, it all just causes such a regression!!!!

So two nights ago, my girl had a great night!!! She woke up twice, but had a 6 hour stretch in between and then did not wake up until 7!!!!! That is huge- we are usually lucky if she sleeps until 5. Of course, that is the one rare good night we get with her, as last night she was up every hour and a half. A few times she resettled back to sleep after fussing for a bit, but it was still no sleep for mom and dad. I am getting sick again too. This winter, my DH and I are constantly getting sick! It is crazy. I honestly blame it on the lack of sleep keeping our immune systems down, plus being a teacher I am around germs all day!

Anyways, it was interesting reading about the solids. My pedi had us start some at around 4 months. Now we are up to 3 times a day. I feed her solids after a BF. I notice that the days she eats more solids she actually does seem to sleep better. The night she slept for 6 hours straight, she ate a lot that day. It could be a coincidence, as my LO does not seem to fit any pattern for long, but I will continue to test out the theory. Today she is being a picky eater.

Happy New Years everyone! Anyone doing anything fun? My fun will be getting to sleep at a decent time and hopefully getting a long stretch before LO wakes up! We are party animals these days.

 

[Noelle610]

Lysh, my fun will be some of the same

I HATE winter and bugs, it's awful! Charlotte is still sick with a cold and was up hourly after midnight last night and up for the day at 5:30am. Of course our humidifier broke that day, so DH is out getting a new one now - hopefully that helps her stuffy nose.

I have to admit, though, since Charlotte started sleeping better and I finally got some medication to help my insomnia, I've found these hard nights easier. My anxiety isn't quite so bad and I know that there will be relief in the future.

 

[bananaz]

MiniKiwi - I don't know if it "counts" but it's definitely a step in the right direction! For Elsie, self-soothing was a very gradual process. Initially I had to bounce her all the way to sleep, then I was able to bounce her until she was drowsy and shush-pat or sing her the rest of the way to sleep in her crib, and after that I started putting her straight into the crib with no bouncing and would just shush or sing her to sleep. Now I can put her down wide awake at bedtime and she'll go to sleep on her own with minimal fussing, though I still have to pat her to sleep at naps. So IMO progress is progress, whether or not she's all the way there yet!

libbylou - Oh honey, I'm so sorry. Having a horrible nap day after being up all night is just the worst. I hope today has been better for you both.

Larkspur - Aw, any idea what was going on? Teething? Wonder week? Hang in there!

Shadowy Lady - I'm glad the earlier bedtime is working for Sofia, I hope she gets over her illness quickly (and I hope you do too, poor thing!). This thread has made me so scared for my LO to get sick

lysh - Yay for good naps and nights! I hope she keeps it up for you.


We had another good night - down at 7pm (which was way too late, she'd already been up for 4 hours) and up at 2:20 for a feed. She was up again at 5, and honestly I have no idea what happened during the next hour before I got her up for the day. She was making noise off and on but when I looked on the monitor she was usually lying down like she was asleep? Anyway, I didn't have to get out of bed until 6:15 so I consider that a win!

 

[lysh]

Noelle- I am sure once better nights become the norm it does lessen anxiety. Right now good nights are still rare,

Bananaz- Glad you had another good night!!!

 

[Aimee1003]

Worst night in a while. Up at 10:30, 2:30, 3:20, and up for day at 5:30!!! I thought babies were supposed to sleep 10 hrs at night. He got only 7!!! I tried for 1.5 to get him back to sleep when he woke up at 5:30. I don't function well on 5 hrs sleep!!!! Omg! Please pray that he starts sleeping again b4 I go back to work next Monday...