Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[megangrohl]

At 5.5 months it was only 2 to 2.5 hours of awake time from finishing one nap to starting another one for us. But Lily has always been a terrible sleeper so it may be different for your infant. I'd say just keep trying and you will soon find what works.

 

[bananaz]

daneuse - At that age I think Elsie's max awake time was usually in the 1.5-2.5 hour range.

 

[Noelle610]

Bananaz, I am so relieved! I knew Elise would snap out of those 1-2 hours wakings.

MrsPear, you had me laughing out loud!!! Do NOT put the baby in the fish tank. But if you do, please take pictures.

Aliss, we KNOW you know what it's like not to sleep. My fingers are crossed that you skip the 4 month regression. You deserve it.

Daneuse, I've found this chart really helpful. It's a little complicated, but it has wake times recommended for each age. At nearly 6 months, it recommends 2.5 hours between naps at the upper limit.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GHo4keUb2TVJUlSL1kD6HQcEgaNFBmzoQoOzcpcyas/edit?hl=en&authkey=CPXE1bsO&pli=1#

 

[MrsPear]

I agree that about 2 hours was about right at that age for Joni. In fact, she still can't stay awake more than 3 hours straight without problems.

So...night two...she's asleep! It was A LOT more traumatic tonight because she was screaming and screaming, but she fell asleep all of a sudden after 30 minutes. I just kept reminding myself that in the intensity of the moment it seems a long, long, time to have her crying without picking her up, but I am there, right next to her, she can hear me and feel my hand on her, and I feel absolutely certain that once she is used to that, she will be just fine with that level of support. I think some(not on this thread I know you wouldn't judge) would say I should 'ride it out' and just keep cuddling her all night but to be honest I thought she would be able to sleep either next to me or in her cot by 7 months, I don't really know of many other babies that literally can't be put down all night every night by this age. Perhaps I'm just trying to justify it in my head, I don't know. Ugh, I hate this.

 

[Noelle610]

MrsPear, you are doing just fine. Don't be so hard on yourself Joni knows you are there for her, she is just fighting change. You are mom and you know best. Once you are both sleeping a bit better, you will be glad you stuck with it.

 

[MrsPear]

MrsPear, you are doing just fine. Don't be so hard on yourself Joni knows you are there for her, she is just fighting change. You are mom and you know best. Once you are both sleeping a bit better, you will be glad you stuck with it.

Yeah I keep remembering that last night she only woke up 3 times and there could be better to come Thanks for that message Noelle, it's just what I needed to hear.

 

[bananaz]

MrsPear - I agree 100% with Noelle and I don't think it's at all unreasonable to expect a 7-month-old to sleep in her crib. You are taking a very gentle approach but some resistance is just par for the course, unfortunately. You'll get there!

 

[daneuse27]

Yikes! That might be why we have morning nap battles! For some reason she sleeps well at night, but the morning nap is the hardest because ive been keeping her up for 3 hours I feel awful now. I've been exhausting her this whole time.

 

[MrsPear]

Yikes! That might be why we have morning nap battles! For some reason she sleeps well at night, but the morning nap is the hardest because ive been keeping her up for 3 hours I feel awful now. I've been exhausting her this whole time.

Don't feel bad, some babies show a lot more signals of being tired than others so it can be hard to guage. And if you have a baby that fights sleep (like Joni) then it can be tempting just to keep them up longer even though it'll cause problems later on in the day!

Joni's first nap is often not far after waking up, even now it might only be 1.5 hours or less of wake time before her first nap. Then later naps can be spaced out a bit more. I don't know if that's the same for others.

 

[Noelle610]

Yikes! That might be why we have morning nap battles! For some reason she sleeps well at night, but the morning nap is the hardest because ive been keeping her up for 3 hours I feel awful now. I've been exhausting her this whole time.

Don't feel bad, some babies show a lot more signals of being tired than others so it can be hard to guage. And if you have a baby that fights sleep (like Joni) then it can be tempting just to keep them up longer even though it'll cause problems later on in the day!

Joni's first nap is often not far after waking up, even now it might only be 1.5 hours or less of wake time before her first nap. Then later naps can be spaced out a bit more. I don't know if that's the same for others.

Don't feel bad! As babies get older, their sleepy signs become unreliable. So by the time they are rubbing their eyes, yawning, etc., you've missed that magical window where they are tired, but not overtired and will go down easily. But how in the world should we know that? The only reason I know this is because I've read more sleep books than the average person. And quite frankly, I don't know that it's really helped me get my baby to sleep any better!

MrsPear is correct that the awake window between first waking up and that first nap is usually shorter. Try putting your LO down around 1.5-2 hours after she wakes and see what happens. I bet you have success! Charlotte can usually tolerate 3 hours of awake time or even 4 hours before bed sometimes, but she typically takes her first nap after just 2.5 hours.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

ok guys, i'm so nervous! My doctor wants to be to stop taking Adevent gradually. She thinks that I'm physically able to sleep and it's just my mind that's keeping me up. DH also thinks I should not take meds unless maybe 1-2 times per week.

I've been anxious and stressed about no meds since my appt this morning. I'm exhausted mentally and physically (just came back from bootcamp), but I can't seem to control my anxious mind.

I think Sofia sleeps way better than me

 

[Noelle610]

ok guys, i'm so nervous! My doctor wants to be to stop taking Adevent gradually. She thinks that I'm physically able to sleep and it's just my mind that's keeping me up. DH also thinks I should not take meds unless maybe 1-2 times per week.

I've been anxious and stressed about no meds since my appt this morning. I'm exhausted mentally and physically (just came back from bootcamp), but I can't seem to control my anxious mind.

I think Sofia sleeps way better than me

That's interesting. Truthfully, I don't know a lot about insomnia, but I didn't think most people suffering with it physically couldn't sleep. I guess I thought it was more of an anxiety thing, so in my opinion your mind keeping you up is a valid concern.

If it helps, I took only half of my pill last night and slept great! I was nervous too

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Thanks Noelle, that's what I wanna do too but my DH is telling me I should go cold turkey. My problem is that I'm soooo tired but scared that I won't sleep if I don't take the meds. And I know it's a fear and not real but don't know what to do about it.

Maybe I will take half and see

 

[MrsPear]

Shadowy I thought being physically unable to sleep was extremely rare and extremely dangerous. Therefore surely almost 100% of people taking those medicines have some 'switch' mentally that they just can't flick off? Sorry I have no advice but if taking half has worked for Noelle then maybe it could for you.

Well...last night was NOT a success. I think Joni only woke up three times between 10:30 & 4am which is not bad (I suppose, I try and be positive because it is so much better than other nights, but really? I'm still kind of disappointed even though I know I shouldn't be asking too much)...

...but at 4:15 I put her down and we had a huge battle of wills. It's not like she wants to be awake because she keeps drifting off for about a minute, but she screams! This baby can scream! I couldn't believe the thread recently asking how many times a day does your baby cry and people were replying with "only a handful of real tears since birth"- Say wha'?...anyway off on a tangent there...at 6:15 (yes two hours, I can't say I didn't try) I put her in my arms and by 6:20 she was fast asleep until 8:45.

So, I don't know what to do from here. I know a lot of babies have trouble sleeping around 4:30am. But, she's so tired! I just don't understand why she won't do it in her cot. She's not cold- if anything she overheats when she's next to me. She's just tired and grumpy, with a lot of stamina.

Should I just have picked her up at 4:30 and thought this is not a good time for her to go back to sleep? Should I have tried for less time (OH did about 40 minutes of the two hours, I can't take all the credit)? Should I have given up sooner? Should I have not given up at all and just got her up at her normal time? Should I wait a month and have another go?

I have no idea, all I know is it was completely pointless, upsetting for everyone and has left me so tired I might cry. Got my job interview tomorrow. Sigh.

xxx

 

[Noelle610]

MrsPear, so sorry you had a tough night. I think you should stick with it, no matter how long it takes. You're trying to break 7 months of habit (not bad or good - just habit) and she's going to fight it. That said, I probably would have given in at that point too, so don't be too hard on yourself! I would give this a least a week, mabye two, before deciding whether or not it's working. I know it feels like a lifetime, but you're only a few days in. You're doing great.

When we were spacing out Charlotte's night feeds, we had one terrible night where she cried for like 90 minutes around 3am. It was horrible. DH and I were soothing her while she was in her crib, like you are doing with Joni. I really wanted to give up. My husband had to practically hold me down! The next night was much better and we never had a night like that again. They do adapt, probably faster than we do!

 

[megangrohl]

Hey everyone, hope all is well. I just wanted to report that lastnight was the third night in a row she has slept 12 hours straight in her crib! And now she only whimpers for 5 minutes then plays in her crib for about 10 minutes and is off to sleep. This is for naps too! She also doesn't need her soother either. I can't believe it only took 1 night of crying it out for this to happen!

 

[Boo44]

Megan that's amazing!!! Am so happy for you!

Jack has had a cough and runny nose AGAIN. Am trying not to get paranoid about him allllways being ill lol! Anyway he was whiney all afternoon yesterday. He slept amazing u til 4.45 then I could hear him awake and shuffling and fussing in a minor way. This is a very unusual time for him! I decided to leave him and it took 20 mins but he went back to sleep. He was then awake at 6.20 at which point I gave him his dummy as I didn want to risk him waking up fully (!!!) this is a more normal time for him. And he slept til 8am. Soooo random. I checked his mouth this morning and I think he's cutting his third tooth. But strangely it is at the bottom alongside his front 2! So I'm beginning to wonder if I can actually see it at all lol!

Recently since he's (presumably) teething and therefore being more unsettled on a night (still great, just different) I've reverted back to my old mindset from when he was a newborn. I seem to have lost the ability to relax overnight and get all worked up at hearing him or the possibility of hearing him and when it will be! Last night I had a song running through my head over and over, and I couldn't switch off at all at 5am. Argh! I hope this passes soon....

 

[Aphrodite]

Boo I am sooo with you on this one. I panic like mad at even him moving in his cot in case it means he'll wake! My heart starts going, I dread it more than ever, doesnt that sound ridiculous? Sunday night we were both so tired I though I would hallucinate. Yet I lay awake until after 1am. I said to my DH that its almost like you are awake so much your body thinks, right, she obviously needs to stay awake so lets keep her awake! I was singing nursery rhymes from rhyme time in my head over andf over until gone midnight. Arrgghh!!! Going insane!

 

[mrsbeano]

Oooh, lots to catch up on again! So so many babies have really been improving which is great & hopefully providing a little hope for those whose babies are still fighting the good stuff

Mrs Pear - do stick with the shhh patting. I read somewhere that the most important thing is how they get themselves to sleep for the first part of the night so if she can start to settle herself then you should be onto a winner. I shhh-patted Quinn at 3/4 months and it worked a treat. If he was starting to get worked up by it, I'd give him 2 minutes and then go back in for a bit more shh-patting and it was as though the reset button had been hit as he would usually go back over quite quickly.

Megan - I now always just leave Quinn to sort himself out for about 10 minutes. At nap times he fights it and nearly always cries but at bedtime he just smiles, rolls over and goes to sleep. I'm too scared to become his aid for getting to sleep so I suppose I CIO on a daily basis.

Boo - when I'm like that I read my book for a chapter to break the cycle. I say that Quinn has sleep trained me to never sttn again.

Shadowy - I would try again. Your anxiety is causing you to not sleep so you need meds for that, surely?

I didn't go back too far so probably missed some bits.

Our night weaning now seems to have worked and Quinn hasn't had a bottle at night for about a week. He has transferred his intake to daytime which is great as he had got into rejecting milk in the day to wake up and have it at night instead. The teething has also subsided for the meantime so we're in a good spot, enjoying it while it lasts.

O/T only one night left with the in laws in our tiny house. I cannot wait to have my house back and to be able to leave the house without checking off the items in the changing bag with my MIL. How have I coped without her LOL?

 

[Noelle610]

Megan, yay yay yay!! That's all I have to say. You deserve this.

Boo and Aprhodite - we have definitely been there. With both the teething and being utterly exhausted, yet unable to fall asleep. I think it's the anxiety and unpredictability. I am on sleep meds for that very reason, so unfortunately I have no advice to give in that area! In terms of the teething, I would try ibuprofen before bed. That said, it lasts 8 hours so you may need to re-dose around 3am or so.

MrsBeano, glad you're in a good place! On the topic of in-laws, I'm right there with you. My father in law is the most lovely man and he was here for a week last week. He was great - took care of Charlotte, cooked for us. But I was ready for him to leave at the end of the week. He loves to talk and on that last night I just wanted to VEG OUT.

Things are very good here. Charlotte has been sick with a tummy bug, but still sleeping very well. Sunday night she slept 13 hours straight. No joke. Last night she had two wakings between 11pm and midnight, but I'm pretty sure it's because she didn't feel well. I was fine to cuddle her a few times. Feels too good to be true. It's scaring me!