Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[mrsbeano]

Eeeeee go Joni! Enjoy your night off x

 

[Noelle610]

Yay Joni!!! MrsPear have fun!!!!!

Boo, I feel like Charlotte has constantly been sick too. Right there with you!

 

[bananaz]

MrsPear - Yay, isn't that such an amazing feeling?? So happy for you I'm sorry you felt your interview didn't go well, but please enjoy your evening out!

Boo - I'm glad Jack is sleeping well and self-settling! He's made so much progress. Hope he feels better soon.

Sunnie - Sorry your STTN stretch got broken, sounds like a rough start to the day. I can't wait until cold and flu season is over!


Last night was... odd. Elsie woke up at 11:30pm again and normally I would just let her be and see if she settles herself (which she almost always does at that time) but for some reason I thought it was 6am so I ran to her and nursed her and then took her out of her room. Thankfully I managed to get her back to sleep very quickly when I finally snapped out of whatever trance I was in, but WTF?? Why is my half-asleep brain trying to sabotage me?

Anyway, I guess that counted as a dream feed because she then skipped her 2am feeding and slept until 4:30am. At that point I nursed her and put her back down and she really tried to go to sleep but despite both of our best efforts she just couldn't so at 5:30am I finally gave up and got her out of bed for real. We are both sick again so I think maybe her head was bothering her. I'm so tired of these pre-6am wakeups!

 

[Boo44]

Thanks bananaz that bit of positive confirmation really made me smile!!

Ahh I've been there before running into Jack thinking its morning when it is pre midnight! Poor sleep deprived mummies!! That's what it does to you lol. Hope Elsie also gets better soon. Roll on springtime

 

[Shadowy Lady]

MrsPear - Hope you enjoyed your night out!

Bananaz - OMG I do that all the time. I wake up and think it's 6 am....once I even got Sofia outta her sleep suite before realizing it was only 1 am :/

ughhh last night with no meds was tough. I was so exhausted yet I was too scared so I couldn't sleep. I was in bed at 9:30 but didn't sleep till around 11 pm. I then woke up 4 times between that and 3:30 am when I was just up :/ Sofia didn't wake up till 4:45 am when I fed her. After that I managed to nap for another hour but today is rough...

Did any of you ladies try coming off sleep meds? How did you manage it? I only have been taking sleep meds for a week so it's not like it's been forever either...

 

[MrsPear]

Haha Shadowy and Bananaz, that's really funny. My OH does it all the time too- I'll wake up at midnight to see to Joni and he'll be all like, "You have a lie in, I'll take her downstairs", and I have to remind him it's only midnight. Maybe just so I can't accuse him of not offering haha.

Shadowy I'm not sure about the meds because I don't have experience, but I do think you need to give your body time to get used to Sofia's better sleeping pattern. It is so used to waking up all those times, anxiety or not. Sorry you had a rough night, but I am glad that Sofia seems to be getting better at sleeping longer. Fingers crossed she will keep it up, then you might find your body relaxes naturally?

Boo, it's just one cold to the next to teething to something else isn't it. Can't believe you're another one who thinks it's morning when it's midnight! Mind you, I often have really odd thoughts when I'm half asleep, I'm sure I've written in this thread before that I once thought Joni was a greyhound puppy!

Bananaz, that's the worst when you are trying to get your baby to sleep and clock watching and then you realise you have to give up and get up. It's like you're counting down for the hour before, but trying to leave it to the last minute to admit defeat...

We had a good night with Joni. She didn't wake up whilst we were out (got back at 9:30) and I did a dream feed at half ten, then she woke up at 1:50 and 5:10. It's amazing being able to pinpoint when she wakes up rather than just feeling that I spent half the night jiggling her as she stirred in my arms. From 5:30-6:30 we bed shared (but she wasn't in my arms) and she woke up about 6:15 (the last 15 minutes were me trying to stir myself lol).

x

 

[lysh]

Hey ladies....feels like it has been a while since checking in!!! Both LO and I have been sick this week...I have a terrible sinus infection and she has been battling a cold on top of teething!

Well, we had our first STTN! She slept from 7:15-4am! She has never done that. However, that lasted only one night of course! lol

Bananaz- I feel your pain. I am so tired of LO waking up at 4 am. I would even be happy with a 5 am awakening!!!!! It is making us nuts.

Noelle- We have been sick constantly too- I am so over this winter season.

MrsPear- We bed share for the last bit of morning time too. Since LO wakes up at 4, I put her in my bed to BF in hopes she will go back to sleep!

Shadowy Lady- I am sorry you keep battling insomnia! That is hard- it is tough enough sleeping around our LOs schedule, never mind fighting that on top of it!!!! I never really took sleep meds for long, so I can't help with that one.

 

[Aimee1003]

Coleton finally sttn again last night!!! First time since Oct 15th"!! He rolled onto his tummy and slept there. Wonder if that was the reason?

 

[Randianne]

So, I'm just going to jump in here and ask a question because you ladies seem to have quite a bit of knowledge about sleep issues and I'm losing my mind.

Have any of your LO's gone through stages of getting very little sleep for days at a time? My LO normally takes one nap for an hour and a half to two hours, and then a second nap of about an hour. For the past three days, she's taken 2-3 naps of no more than 20 minutes. I have tried everything I can think of. She just won't sleep. She's super grumpy because she's so tired. It's starting to effect her night time sleeping too. Last night she only slept from 8pm to 9pm, then 1am-6am, and I say slept loosely because she was waking up every ten to fifteen minutes, crying, and then going back to sleep very quickly. I think the only time she didn't wake was from 4 to 6.

Any suggestions? She started crawling for last week, so maybe that's it? I don't know. I've just never seen her act like this. She thrashes around like she can't get comfortable, but I don't think she's sick. I have no idea.

Anyways, thanks for letting me pop in.

 

[Boo44]

Wow MrsPear that is amazing progress! Am so happy for you!

Shadowy - sorry I don't have much to offer re stopping sleeping meds. I do suffer occasionally with insomnia and constant worry re baby waking though! And I can imagine that if I WAS on meds and then was faced with a night with no meds, that I would worry myself so much about whether I was going to be able to sleep, that I wouldn't end up sleeping! If you see what I mean. Hope things look up for you soon

Libby/Aimee that's amazing that you have both had a sttn!

Randianne- I think some of the girls in here will be able to tell you lots of possibilities but it does sounds to me like your LO may be sensitive to developmental milestones and it could be causing a slight regression of sleep. Hopefully it passes quickly!

Jack has been sleeping well but is still poorly. His cough is really quite terrible. And he sounds v chesty now. We too him to Drs who ended up giving him an inhaler as he gets very wheezy every time he has a cold. The frustrating thing is he won't drink! Cries and refuses bottles. He had a total of 8oz milk in the last 24hrs! I'm going a bit spare with it all. Luckily he's having his food normally so that's something. Just hoping it passes soon ...

 

[bananaz]

So, I'm just going to jump in here and ask a question because you ladies seem to have quite a bit of knowledge about sleep issues and I'm losing my mind.

Have any of your LO's gone through stages of getting very little sleep for days at a time? My LO normally takes one nap for an hour and a half to two hours, and then a second nap of about an hour. For the past three days, she's taken 2-3 naps of no more than 20 minutes. I have tried everything I can think of. She just won't sleep. She's super grumpy because she's so tired. It's starting to effect her night time sleeping too. Last night she only slept from 8pm to 9pm, then 1am-6am, and I say slept loosely because she was waking up every ten to fifteen minutes, crying, and then going back to sleep very quickly. I think the only time she didn't wake was from 4 to 6.

Any suggestions? She started crawling for last week, so maybe that's it? I don't know. I've just never seen her act like this. She thrashes around like she can't get comfortable, but I don't think she's sick. I have no idea.

Anyways, thanks for letting me pop in.

How long is your LO going between naps? My baby goes through phases like that every so often. It usually lasts a few days and then she goes back to normal, however sometimes it's because her optimal awake period has lengthened and I'm trying to put her down too early.

The restless nighttime sleep thing could definitely be developmental, though being overtired doesn't help I'm sure. Usually when that happens with my LO it's just a one-night thing, so hopefully you'll have a better night tonight!

 

[lysh]

Coleton finally sttn again last night!!! First time since Oct 15th"!! He rolled onto his tummy and slept there. Wonder if that was the reason?

You know, it is interesting because the one and ONLY night LO slept through the night she was on her tummy too!

 

[Sunnie1984]

Hi Everyone,

Socity - I am sure you've already tried it, but Mrspear is having a lot of success with Joni using ssshhh patting to get her to sleep without being held. I wonder whether it would help Hadley settle to sleep without you holding her?

Mrspear - Thanks, I think the cold is on its way out now, so hopefully sleep will continue to improve.

Great news with Joni, that is such fantastic progress, especially do quickly. It's lovely that you got to leave the house, and that Joni didn't wake while you were out. Sorry your interview didn't go well, it's so hard to try and function for things like interviews when you are having sleep battles.



Shadowy Lady - It would make sense if that was the problem, that Seren needed less sleep, but she regularly did 12 hour stretches before, and had no problems with 4am wake ups. Glad Sofia STTN again for you. Yes there is a WW26, I hope it doesn't last too long for you.

I'm so sorry that your night with no meds was so tough. I agree with Mrspear that you need time to adapt to Sofia's better sleep pattern to help you have less anxiety about sleeping when you come off the medication. Can you talk to your doctor again? I'm sure she'll be understanding and you can find a way to compromise.

Boo44 - Thats great news! I agree that you can't always stay in the house, so some naps just aren't going to be as restful as others. I try to be in the house for one nap a day, to see if that helps, although again that's not always possible.

I hope the inhaler works for Jack. Don't worry about his eating, as long as he's having some solids and it doesn't go on for too long, and he's hydrated, he'll pick back up again.

Bananaz - I wouldn't mind so much be we live in the Middle East, so it's not exactly cold and flu season here, and yet colds are still floating around. I think its because a lot of people go home to the UK and USA over Christmas and brings all the germs back with them and then spread them around here.

So sorry you had a weird experience, I've often done that, thought it was the middle of the night, when I've only been asleep like 20 mins! At least you got the benefit of no 2am feed though

Pre 6 am wake ups are a killer. I try to keep them as a night waking, but that is not always possible, Seren often has other ideas!


Lysh - Congrats on STTN - it must feel so good to get a solid block of sleep.

Aimee - Yay for you too! Congratulations!

Randianne - we're here at the moment. Seren is taking only 20 minute naps and being awake 3 hours between them, I have no idea why at the moment. No advice though, I have no idea where it comes from. Although she sleeps at night pretty well to compensate.


We're doing ok over here. Seren was waking at 4:30-5am crying hysterically, wants the dummy for two minutes and then going back to sleep - but that has now stopped. I wonder whether it's because of her cold, the dummy seems to help clear her nose.

Last night she woke crying at 3am, but I went in to her and she passed wind and went back to sleep.

Then she woke at 6:30am and we got up at 7am.

Still having trouble getting her down at night, but I think she's been a bit overtired at going to bed later, so I'm going to have to cut naps short if they happen after 4:30pm, to make sure she's ready for bed at the normal time.

She has suddenly started going 3 hours between naps, but only naps for 20 minutes. I wonder whether the naps are as a result of the overtired from the late bedtime, but she now needs more awake time between naps.

I tried putting her down earlier for a nap, which was a waste of time as she just laughed at me!

She's in a pretty good mood at the moment, so I think we're in the sunny period before WW26 begins, so we're enjoying it while it lasts!

 

[bananaz]

Ughhh well LO has been up since 11:30pm and it's now 1:30am. I've tried patting, back massages, even giving her a drink of water in case her throat was dry (which I'm sure it was after all of her screaming). I'm just letting her fuss on her own now to see if she'll settle herself.

The past couple nights have been crappy but I had a really good feeling about tonight. I even let myself fantasize a little about her magically sleeping through. I guess that should've been my first clue that it was going to be a disaster

 

[mrsbeano]

Aww bananaz I hope she wears herself out soon and gives you a nice long stretch x

 

[lysh]

Ughhh well LO has been up since 11:30pm and it's now 1:30am. I've tried patting, back massages, even giving her a drink of water in case her throat was dry (which I'm sure it was after all of her screaming). I'm just letting her fuss on her own now to see if she'll settle herself.

The past couple nights have been crappy but I had a really good feeling about tonight. I even let myself fantasize a little about her magically sleeping through. I guess that should've been my first clue that it was going to be a disaster

I am sorry- I work with a bunch of women that just do not understand what it is like to have a baby with up and down sleep patterns! Sometimes I feel like I am the only one! I know so many women with babies and yet I am the only one who deals with nighttime struggles. Even when teething, these babies do okay! They might just wake up once instead of not at all! That is the nice thing about the internet- we know we are not alone and crazy! Now that I have gotten some decent stretches of sleep, it is so hard when LO takes a backslide. Did she end up settling back down on her own? Hope you got some sleep!

 

[Noelle610]

Hey girls! Sorry I have been MIA.

I was so happy to log on and see STTN for both Aimee and Lysh! That is fantastic! I hope you both slept too.

Sunnie, that doesn't sound too bad. Charlotte used to be able to nap wherever, whenever and sleep fine at night, but at 9 months I've found I need to end naps by 4pm (3pm is really better) and then her ideal bedtime is around 6:30pm-7:30pm. This helps in getting her to go down easy so she's not overtired or undertired.

Radianne, that sounds so, so tough! I'm sorry to see you here. There is a sleep regression around this age and I would bet there's something going on with the crawling. She may be waking herself up crawling in her sleep - Charlotte did that for a bit and it did pass. I think Bananaz also gives good advice about maybe spacing naps a bit. We do well with the 2/3/4 schedule (first nap 2 hours after waking, second 3 hours after that and then bedtime 4 hours later).

Bananaz, we had an identical night on Thursday! Charlotte was up from 11pm to 1am and nothing I tried to get her to sleep was working. I tried cuddling, pacifier, feeding, rocking, everything! I finally gave her advil at 1am and I don't know if she conked out because she was teething or she had just been up for so long. It sucked. Last night was better - she was up at 1am and 3am, but for like 5 minutes only. It sucks that she was STTN and hasn't been sleeping great, but I have super low expectations and I know it could be so much worse. I feel well rested today. And I'm grateful that naps have been wonderful. Either two 90 minute naps or a morning nap of an hour and an afternoon nap of 2 hours. She's getting very consistent with that and it certainly makes things easier.

 

[bananaz]

At 2am I finally gave in and nursed her and after that she fussed for another 5 minutes before finally going back to sleep. Until 5:30am when she decided she was done sleeping for the night It's going to be a long day.

I'm glad you ladies understand how difficult it is to have such an inconsistent sleeper. I really don't understand how she can go from sleeping 8-9 hour stretches to not being able to go 5 hours without waking up to eat? She nurses all day and she gets a good amount of solids now too. I know I shouldn't compare, but she's almost 9 months old - there are 6 week old babies who routinely go 12 hours without eating!

I feel like maybe I'm confusing her with how inconsistent my response is at night. It seems that every time I come up with a plan for how I'm going to handle her wakings, she comes up with new variables that my plan doesn't take into account.

 

[Noelle610]

OMFG (excuse my language) but the inconsistency is the worst. I am terrified that 2 hours awake in the middle of the night is going to become Charlotte's new "normal". I won't be able to relax unless she sleeps well for like two weeks straight. When she has a 5 day stretch of STTN, THEN I freak out that it's all going to fall apart.

I understand your frustration over not being able to respond consistently. I was really good about that when we night weaned from 6-7 months, but I fear I've become more wishy washy. I just feel there's so much going on - with developmental leaps (huge at this age!), teething, the variation in what she eats day to day, separation anxiety - it's just like everything seems to require a different response. I also can't help but feel there's a possibility that I would regret responding less, but that I won't regret being proactive even though that's not necessarily true in my experience.

Anyway, I do find it frustrating that there are small babies that sleep so well. Although I must admit I do wonder what most consider "sleeping through the night". I had breakfast with my best friend and her 6 month old yesterday and she mentioned that Zoey "slept through the night", but that she had to go in and replace her pacifier two or three times or re-settle her. Okay, so she doesn't feed at night, but in my mind that is not sleeping through. She basically admitted that she says Z sleeps through the night because she doesn't want to be judged or questioned and honestly I totally get that.

 

[bananaz]

I'm really glad to hear you say that, though I'm sorry you're struggling with this too! It makes me feel better that I'm not the only one totally confused, especially since I know how much thought and research you've put into this. I know what you mean about things almost being worse when she's sleeping well, though I wouldn't mind a little of that right about now

To be honest I can't remember the last time I've been able to get Elsie back to sleep without feeding her or just letting her cry for a few minutes. Patting and singing and rocking and all that stuff will often get her calmed down but they haven't actually gotten her to go to sleep in ages - the moment I stop she starts screaming again. I was really trying to stick to my guns last night but she had already been up for over 2 hours and it seemed like she would have no problem staying up all night if that's what it came to.

It feels like I'm going to have to commit to either the "feed her every time she wakes" attachment parenting camp or the "let her figure it out" Ferber camp in the near future, because clearly my attempt to find some kind of magical middle ground isn't working.