Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[Randianne]

Noelle, the pulling up in the crib thing is beyond frustrating. And mine laughs at me too!

bananaz, what lotions/bath products do you use during a flare up? My LO has eczema too and we're in the midst of a bad flare up. Nothing seems to be working, and I want to try all our options before we start steroids. Any suggestions?

 

[bananaz]

bananaz, what lotions/bath products do you use during a flare up? My LO has eczema too and we're in the midst of a bad flare up. Nothing seems to be working, and I want to try all our options before we start steroids. Any suggestions?

CeraVe cream is the BEST! You have to get the thick stuff in a tub though, not the lotion. When LO is having a flare-up I put it on her at every diaper change, and then the rest of the time I just put it on after baths. I haven't had to use steroids on her since she was 6 weeks old thanks to CeraVe. As far as bath products I usually use Cetaphil or Aquaphor body washes - both seem to work fine and don't irritate her skin.

Also, you may have already done this but if not then it's definitely worth switching to a hypoallergenic laundry detergent and rewashing everyone's clothes. Laundry detergent residue is a big trigger for Elsie, as it is for a lot of babies I think.

 

[Sunnie1984]

Hi Ladies,

Sorry to see some new faces in here, I hope you're not stuck in sleep limbo too long!

Bananaz - Sorry Elsie is having a tough time with her sleep. I know what you mean about being inconsistent, it's just so hard to figure out what they need, rather than what they would just like.

Perhaps Elsie is one of those babies who responds better to tougher sleep training, like with megangrohl?

Good luck with the night weaning, I'm glad your mum is around to step in and help. Hopefully it won't be too tough.

Noelle - Thanks, nights here are pretty good in context, it's just the hysterical screaming when she wakes up that is a bit draining, I think it's a mix of lots of different things, although it's probably none of them

Sorry Charlotte is struggling again, but it does sound developmental, especially with the standing in the cot. Random question, but I read somewhere that to get them to learn to lie back down, you put their hands around the bars on the cot and slide them down, it gets them to sit automatically apparently, have you tried it?

Not that I know what I'm talking about, we've still got a long way to go before that!

I found with Seren that good naps generally mean't she'd had a bad night the night before and nothing else, when she STTN her naps went to pot again!

Shadowy Lady - Glad the no meds worked much better the second night. Enjoy your holiday, I hope Sofia has a relaxing time too!

Phantom

Mrspear - Wonderful news with Joni, she is doing so so well! Congratulations on sticking with it too, I know how hard it is to keep going in the middle of a very sleep deprived night.

cmarie - You might find you are entering wonder week 26 - which brings with it lots of fussiness and night wakings. Separation anxiety kicks in then, so that might be the problem?

LC - to you too. You not sleeping when your baby is has got to be the worst.

Larkspur - You are definitely at the right stage for wonder week 26, fingers crossed that that is all it is and it passes quickly. The MOTN parties are generally developmental, so they shouldn't last too long.

Randianne - Inconsistency is the worst, I feel like I have no idea what's coming each and every night at the moment.

Boo44 - Sorry Jack still has that cough, I hope that's all that is disrupting his sleep and that he can get back to normal after it goes away.

Sorry, can't respond to everyone, as Seren is waking up from her nap after only 20 minutes! Aaaarrgggghhhhh!

We're doing good on the night sleeping here, although still waking at about 5:30am. I have finally figured that it's better to let Seren go without a last nap, and get her to bed at 6:30pm rather than let her nap and go to bed later as she gets overtired.

But last night she had really bad wind again, so was up every 10 minutes from 6:30 -8pm until it was all gone. So that has thrown everything out completely!

I've decided to go back to the baby whisperer book and transition her to the 4 hourly schedule (she's already on it for feedings but not for wake time) and see if it helps. I did it before Christmas and she started taking 2 hour afternoon naps, but then it all fell apart when we travelled.

I'm also going to leave her in her cot when she wakes from naps until she cries, hoping she'll go back to sleep. No hope of that actually working, but at least I get a bit more time to myself.

She has a bit of a cold still, but it's more of a cough than a cold, so hoping this is the last bit and it goes away.

Although fussy period for WW26 has just started, hang onto your hats, it's going to be a bumpy ride!

x

 

[Randianne]

bananaz, what lotions/bath products do you use during a flare up? My LO has eczema too and we're in the midst of a bad flare up. Nothing seems to be working, and I want to try all our options before we start steroids. Any suggestions?

CeraVe cream is the BEST! You have to get the thick stuff in a tub though, not the lotion. When LO is having a flare-up I put it on her at every diaper change, and then the rest of the time I just put it on after baths. I haven't had to use steroids on her since she was 6 weeks old thanks to CeraVe. As far as bath products I usually use Cetaphil or Aquaphor body washes - both seem to work fine and don't irritate her skin.

Also, you may have already done this but if not then it's definitely worth switching to a hypoallergenic laundry detergent and rewashing everyone's clothes. Laundry detergent residue is a big trigger for Elsie, as it is for a lot of babies I think.

Thank you! I will get some first thing tomorrow. Poor LO is so itchy tonight! I think laundry soap is what triggered this outbreak. I usually make my own, but I keep regular stuff on hand for OH's work clothes. He was trying to be helpful by doing laundry for me, but he washed everything in regular detergent. I didn't figure it out for a few days, and now she has the worst outbreak. I rewashed everything twice in the homemade detergent and vinegar, but I'm not sure all the residue is completely out. It's amazing the problems detergent can cause!

 

[MrsPear]

Randianne and Bananaz I feel for both your LOs with eczema, I had it mildly occasionally as a child (not a baby I don't think) and it was so itchy. I think babies really do have high thresholds, they just put up with all sorts don't they! Make me feel bad for complaining.

Sunnie the last line of your comment made me laugh, you're right it is a bumpy ride!! Poor Seren, caught in between colds and wonder weeks, no wonder she can't get any good sleep

We had another good night last night, no 6 hour stretches but I really don't care about that at this stage, I'm just savouring feeding her and then putting her back and stretching out, on my back, and getting comfy again. I'm not a person who sleeps right through the night anyway, so getting up a couple of times for a simple feed suits me fine. She did wake really screaming at 5:30 so I thought there's no way she'll go back down now and decided to put her straight in bed with me, but by the time I put my dressing gown on and walked down half the stairs there was silence...unfortunately our stairs are really really creaky so I was too scared to move and stood there a good fifteen minutes before creeping back upstairs. Suddenly she seems to be able to self settle like a pro, so I really need to work on waiting a couple of minutes before fetching her (hark at me, she's had 4 good nights and I'm talking as though she's a perfect sleeper now...setting myself up for a fall?!!).

x

 

[Noelle610]

MrsPear, very pleased to hear about the subsequent great nights. Sounds like you're turning a corner.

Last not was GOD AWFUL for us. I'm trying to have a sense of humor about it, because it's really the only way I know how to handle it. The standing in the crib thing was not actually an issue, but.... If I ever doubted the "experts" on overtired = night wakings, I sure as hell believe them now. My lovely daughter was up for 7 hours straight, which is insane. I put her to bed at 5:45pm and she fell asleep around 6:15pm. Then she proceeded to wake at 7pm, 8pm, 9:45pm all the way until 11:30pm. I'm ashamed to say at that point I let her cry a bit, because all of the rocking and cuddling in the world was not putting her to sleep! She then finally drifted into a deep sleep until around 4:45am, had another night waking and at 6:22am is still sleeping. I truthfully was just so glad for that 5 hour stretch so that I could at least lay down and get a couple hour's rest. I was so on edge that I had to pop a Benadryl in addition to my sleep meds.

Here's hoping she gets back on her schedule at daycare and that tonight is better. She sleeps in a Pack-n-Play there, so I don't think she can do the standing routine! Man, I am tired. Hope this doesn't become our new "normal".

 

[MrsPear]

Sorry you had a bad night Noelle, I hope you manage to swing the naps back into sync very very soon. Don't worry about taking a benedryl if it meant you got some sleep, ometimes you just have to do what you have to do to get by. It sounds like you need a better stretch tonight so fingers crossed you get one xxx

 

[Sunnie1984]

Mrspear - So glad you seem to be getting some consistency. Do you feel any better rested, or are you just shattered as your body tries to catch up?

I often feel worse when Seren STTN again after some wakings, as I think my body tries to get back all the sleep it can.

Noelle - So sorry you had another rough night with Charlotte. I agree overtired wakings are the worst because you feel you can never catch up with her need for sleep. Hopefully some schedule at nursery will sort her out ready for tonight, and hopefully she'll be just tired enough to at least give you some decent stretches.

I think all the bad fairies have invaded the house today. To add to the last bits of her cold and the start of WW26, we now have teething and a growth spurt... I think.

She woke at 5:30am this morning screaming and nothing but a bottle would settle her (we haven't had to do night feeds since she was 9 weeks old). Then all day she was fussy, and the only thing that helped was anbesol on her teeth, so pretty sure she's teething.

Bath at 5:45pm tonight, usually she's well asleep by 6:30pm. Well between 5:15pm and 7:15pm she ate 390mls of formula and finally passed out.... to wake 30 minutes later needing to be winded again and demanding more food.

I just hope she's been fully stuffed with food and she can sleep properly tonight.

Growth spurts are over pretty quickly, right?

She was wincing when I gave her anbesol this afternoon, which I am hoping means the tooth has split the gum and is on it's way out, although I can't really see in her mouth to check.

Maybe it's not teething at all though, and she just likes the taste of anbesol!

x

 

[bananaz]

Noelle - So sorry about the rough night Yes, being super overtired is definitely a recipe for a bad night. Don't be ashamed about letting her cry for a little bit after soothing her didn't work. Elsie has been the same way for the past couple of weeks - no amount of rocking or patting will settle her but if I let her cry for 5 minutes she'll go to sleep. I think sometimes they just need to discharge some energy. I hope Charlotte has a better day and night!

Sunnie - WW26 is tough but I think it went faster than other WWs for us, though maybe I'm just glossing over the gory details! I hope Seren works through whatever's going on with her ASAP

 

[socitycourty]

Totally lost it this morning. I have had a horrible toothache since yesterday morning, all I wanted was to sleep....well she had other ideas. Didn't go to bed till nearly 11, up several times in the night and then up at 6:30 a.m. I can't take it anymore!

I yelled at her, yelled at my DH, I haven't slept past 7 since May 31st 2012.

 

[MrsPear]

Oh Socity I'm sorry It's like a vicious circle isn't it because you get mad, yell (I've been there loads of times), and then it makes you feel more miserable and terribly guilty and then you're half way to getting mad again Get well soon, toothache is the absolute worst, it's like it envelopes your whole head. It's horrible horrible horrible being so sleep deprived too. When Joni won't sleep I've been known to launch whatever I can get my hands on across the room (minus the baby- I'll just quickly make that disclaimer- the baby is never launched) and go to another room to scream. Anyway, I'm sorry I can't say much particularly useful but I just feel so sad when other people experience that sort of day too because I know it so excrutiatingly well!!

Sunnie does Seren have any teeth already? I'm only asking because then you might recognise if it's teething with a bit more certainty. For Joni, she really did sleep badly the week before the teeth came through and would hardly be put down at all, it was so tough. So it could definitely be teething. But then again, take your pick, it could also be wonder week, still suffering from her cold...as I always say, it's usually pretty much guess work. Hope she sleeps better tonight.

In response to your question Sunnie, I do feel quite tired still but I have had a cold this week so it's probably that. OH and me both noticed that Joni was in a much better mood than normal this weekend, less clingy and laughing more when she was playing, so I think she's the one who is benefiting the most! I'm definitely less short tempered which is no bad thing as I feel very ashamed of how angry and annoyed I feel inside sometimes. x

 

[daneuse27]

Joni - I get so enraged sometimes when my daughter won't sleep too. A couple nights ago, it took 2 hours for her to go to sleep and I was getting so frustrated that I had to leave the room and wanted to punch a hole in the wall. I hate that I get so annoyed over it, but its very hard when all you want to do is sleep and the baby just isn't cooperating. lol. Even though I know its not her fault, I feel bad! But I think its totally normal.

I want to say thank you to Noelle and the lovely laidies who advised me to put my daughter down after 1.5-2 hopurs after the night sleep; all the advice on this thread has really helped me.

I've developed a naptime trick that I'd really like some opinions on, because although its been working (so far) I feel bad doing it. This is how it goes: I usually nurse her before a nap, and then she falls asleep in my arms. Then, I put her in the crib and she wakes up, refusing to go back to sleep. Once shes in the crib, I don't pick her back up again because I want her to get used to going for naps in the crib. I leave the room, and after several minutes, she starts to fuss. The fuss soon turns into a cry. Rather than running back in right away, I let her cry for 5 minutes or so, and then I go back in and I give her the pacefier. Usually by then she's so relieved to have the pacefier that it soothes her right to sleep and she naps! I feel slightly guilty going about this trick, because I hate listening to her cry. It makes me feel guilty and I worry that maybe she'll think I don't love her (as silly as it sounds) if Im not running back in as soon as she cries. But I need her to get used to naps and come to expect whats going to happen. I've been reading about how separation anxiety kicks in around this age, and as a single mom I really can't afford her to be on my boob all the time. She needs to nap in her crib and this has helped her do it. Am I going about this the right way? Do you think this will develop good habits?

A little more background info:
-She only ever uses the pacifier for sleep aid, she's not interested in it during the day, or do I offer it during wake times
-I try to put her down after 2 hours of waking from nigh, and then every few hours from then on.

 

[socitycourty]

i feel terrible but definitely have been enraged a lot of the time..........i just want to sleep alone for a few hours.....it seems like heaven ATM

she's finally napping in my arms of course and i feel horrid, like she needs a new mom

 

[L-C]

Oh socity, I've so been there!! a lot in fact and I think it happens to most. They just push us and push us.

This should cheer you up. I went to the supermarket yesterday and tried on some trousers. I had a pair of leggings on, with a stiched fake fly. When I got home I realised I had put them on back to front and had finished the food shop like it ha ha

Daneuse I think that sounds like a good way to get your LO to sleep and should help you LO learn to settle xx

 

[socitycourty]

lol!

 

[Boo44]

Hey ladies. Can anyone explain how to night wean for me in a nutshell? It's not for me, but for my friend who also has an 8 month old who is demanding at least 2 bottles per night. She goes back to work next wk and is desperate! I told her I 'knew' just the people to ask....! X

 

[bananaz]

Hey ladies. Can anyone explain how to night wean for me in a nutshell? It's not for me, but for my friend who also has an 8 month old who is demanding at least 2 bottles per night. She goes back to work next wk and is desperate! I told her I 'knew' just the people to ask....! X

The method I'm familiar with involves reducing each feeding by an ounce a night (or every few nights if that's easier), and then also increasing the minimum length between feedings. So if baby usually gets a 6-ounce bottle and eats every 2 hours then the first night you'd give them a 5-ounce bottle and wait a minimum of 2.5 hours before feeding again, etc. Apparently by the time you get down to only 2-3 ounces many babies stop waking for the feed altogether.

Alternately I know that some people will gradually dilute the milk with water, ounce by ounce, so that baby's tummy gets filled but the calorie intake is still shifted to the daytime.

Other people can probably fill you in on the details but I think that's usually the general idea

 

[x Michelle x]

Hi ladies, I've always randomly posted in here but here is a little update...
Hayden's sleep is improving!!
For a few weeks he was bed at 6:30, up at 10, 1, 3 then 5 for the day...
But he was also teething so didn't want to piss him off so just fed him back to sleep every time.
One night, he woke at 10. I made the decision that if he seemed ok then he wasn't getting fed. Now, he is almost a year, in 3 meals and 3 bottles a day, I'm sure the night feeds are habit (my fault of course lol) so, I went up, gave him a cuddle. He was perfectly happy, standing grinning as soon as he saw me.. I offered him some water, got a look of disgust... Gave him another cuddle, some teething powder (just incase) gave him kiss, told him it was bedtime and laid him down.
Now, you all probably know your babies cries? We had rage.. Utter rage... But I left him, it broke my heart but we really needed to just try something, anything (rocking, shhh pat has never worked) anyway, we were watching him on the monitor, standing, sitting, rattling the bars and raging. We live in a brand new house and his 2 year old sister is in the next room. Our walls are like paper so we knew just how much we were risking with possibly waking her but I really just wanted to try, just for 5 mins to see if he would go back to sleep. Ill add here that Hayden self settles for all his naps, and at bed time. After 5 mins, rage turned quiet, a few thumps (he was rolling to get comfy) and he slept til 2, had a bottle, then slept til 7. For the last 2 weeks, he has gone down at 6:30, woke anything between 12-3 but just for a bottle and slept again til 7am....
But, I noticed he cut a tooth the other day, his 13th one lol! So fully expecting a crappy night and warning my OH that ill feed him if he won't settle, he slept for 13 hours!! Yes ladies, 13 whole hours! He woke at 9:30, but only as his dummy had fallen out of the cot but took it and went straight back to sleep!

I know it was only a one off, the 3rd full 12 hour sleep in his entire life (I don't count the ones my mum claims he does when he stays there lol) but I just know he can do it

My god that was a loooong!!

 

[Boo44]

Thanks bananaz that's great x

 

[MrsPear]

i feel terrible but definitely have been enraged a lot of the time..........i just want to sleep alone for a few hours.....it seems like heaven ATM

she's finally napping in my arms of course and i feel horrid, like she needs a new mom

No she doesn't need a new mum. Honestly, I'm sure nearly everyone has those moments, some more than others (me). Some days I am literally at the end of my tether with Joni. It's awful, I'm not at all proud. Such a horrible feeling. But I'm generally a 'normal' person, I'm just an average-joe. So, I figure, I'm probably not that different to everyone else. If you weren't so sleep deprived you would feel so much more confident that you can cope. Even sleep deprived, you can still cope and you're still an absolutely fantastic mum, it just feels a lot closer to snapping point.

I'm sure babies do pick up on some emotions, but when she's asleep in your arms, all she knows is that she's warm and cosy and safe- thankfully for us they have no context or reference point so they really don't know about or care about what frustration/sadness/uncertainty is going through your mind. She's just enjoying your warmth and smell and wouldn't want to be without you

xx