Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[bananaz]

He doesn't go back to sleep on his own. He usually needs milk (really bad, I know) otherwise we would be in his room all night. I haven't been able to try CIO or anything, can't bring myself to do it.

Even if you're not interested in CIO or CC, you might want to check out Ferber's book called "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems." He has a great chapter on night weaning and the method he suggests is very gradual and gentle. It helped my LO shift almost all of her feeds to the daytime and I know other people have had even better success with it.

 

[bananaz]

Sorry I've been MIA last couple of days. I'm really disappointed about my interview, I thought I was okay about it but I do feel disappointed. I suppose being awake from 3am does not help, I completely froze at all the questions. She asked me what I can do on Microsoft Word and I could think of a single thing! Moron.

Anyway, that has nothing to do with sleep but I thought I'd throw it in as you ladies are so nice about everything!

Joni is sleeping okay!! She woke up twice the past two nights!!! I can't believe it. Also, she has cried a few times and got herself back to sleep which has never happened before- I used to wonder what all you meant when you said wait five minutes because she'd be hysterical. But now I think that because she went to sleep in her cot, she isn't surprised to find herself in it when she half wakes up, so she just gets back to sleep without a fuss.

I don't think you can necessarily tell whether what you are doing is making a difference or if it's just coincidence, but whatever, I'll keep up with the shhhpatting for as long as this good pattern is going on.

I'm so sorry about your interview. Don't beat yourself up about it - sleep deprivation really does have a way of turning a person's brain into mush. There's a reason it's used as a method of torture, after all!

I'm glad to hear Joni is sleeping better. I think I have a tendency of chalking everything up to coincidence and abandoning my attempts before they have a chance to take full effect, so I commend you for sticking with the shush-patting!

 

[Randianne]

Noelle, I had a friend tell me to try rubbing frankincense on LO's feet. I was very confused. I'd only ever heard of it in the three wiseman story in the Bible. I have no idea what is or how to get it, but for days I laughed a lot. Maybe they sleep trained Jesus!

bananaz, I think I give up too easily on some sleep training things too. Quinn came home from the hospital sleeping for six hour stretches. She would fight sleep, but once you convinced her to do it she slept for 8 hours at six weeks. Once I started laying her down drowsy, she went to sleep easily and slept for 10-12 hours. There was no sign of a 4 month sleep regression. I thought I was doing everything right! After 6 months we've hit a series of sleep issues. She tricked me into thinking it was easy to get babies to sttn! It's frustrating when your ten month old sleeps like your newborn should have. She's very, very inconsistent. After my rant about her nap issues, she took two perfect naps and then slept for eight straight hours that night. Tonight she's been in bed since eight and woke up three times. I see no pattern to her sleep at all!

Larkspur, I've tried to cosleep on nights I was too tired to function, but Quinn kicks too! It's like trying to sleep with a tiny kickboxer.

Its frustrating because I'm so problem-solution oriented and it's just not that simple to get her to sleep. I also read everything because I feel like the next tip in a book or online might be the magic solution! I know there's no magic solution, but my brain keeps telling me the only reason she's not sleeping is because I haven't found said magic. I frustrate myself.

 

[bananaz]

Noelle, I had a friend tell me to try rubbing frankincense on LO's feet. I was very confused. I'd only ever heard of it in the three wiseman story in the Bible. I have no idea what is or how to get it, but for days I laughed a lot. Maybe they sleep trained Jesus!

 

[Noelle610]

I'm sorry to see all of you new ladies here! Welcome to our group - hope we can be helpful and supportive through your sleep deprivation

MrsPear, please don't beat yourself up. I thought about looking for a new job this year and I really honestly don't think I'm capable of interviewing! So that fact that you got that far is impressive. And I'm glad to hear Joni is doing so well. Keep with it.

Radianne, you made me laugh out loud!

We had another difficult night! Long waking from 2am to 3am. They're not happy wakings either. I'm not sure what's going on. Her schedule is perfect with beautiful naps (2 hours in the morning and 90 minutes in the afternoon yesterday). I don't think it's developmental - like crawling in her sleep. Teething, maybe? I feel a bit discouraged and wonder if I need to sleep train now that reflux is controlled. I know that's a hot topic here, but I just don't know how else to handle this. I usually go in and rock her for a bit when she wakes, but then it seems she needs me for subsequent wakings even though she falls asleep on her own at bedtime.

 

[bananaz]

We had another difficult night! Long waking from 2am to 3am. They're not happy wakings either. I'm not sure what's going on. Her schedule is perfect with beautiful naps (2 hours in the morning and 90 minutes in the afternoon yesterday). I don't think it's developmental - like crawling in her sleep. Teething, maybe? I feel a bit discouraged and wonder if I need to sleep train now that reflux is controlled. I know that's a hot topic here, but I just don't know how else to handle this. I usually go in and rock her for a bit when she wakes, but then it seems she needs me for subsequent wakings even though she falls asleep on her own at bedtime.

In my (admittedly limited) experience, going to sleep and night wakings aren't always as connected as all the sleep books would have you believe. Elsie started self-settling at the beginning of the night a lot sooner than she started being able to put herself back to sleep when she'd woken all the way up at night, and obviously that's still hit and miss for her right now. So sleep training for night wakings might be not be an unreasonable move to make even if Charlotte can self-settle at bedtime.


Last night was somewhat better for us. She skipped the 9pm waking but she did have that stupid 11:30pm one yet again. Thankfully she managed to put herself back to sleep after only a few minutes of fussing and she stayed asleep until 2:30am, when I nursed her. Then she woke again at 4am I let her fuss for a while and there were several times where it seemed like she'd gone back to sleep but then she'd start crying again, so finally at 4:45am I just gave up and fed her again and after that she went back to sleep until 6am.

I was talking with my mom about these issues yesterday and I decided that I really need to just take the plunge and night wean her because right now my response is so inconsistent that I think it's making LO confused. So the plan is that if the situation hasn't improved by Friday then my mom will sleep over for a few nights and we'll just power through it. Not looking forward to it but I can't keep going like this!

On the bright side, I tried a little chai tea the other day and Elsie didn't seem to be affected so I am adding caffeine back to my diet!

 

[socitycourty]

yay on the caffeine. And good luck with the night weaning, I think it will help (I've heard from some other BF moms that it does) and she is eating solids and eating during the day so you know she's not starving if she does wake up, I want to wean Hadley from her bottles at night (usually it's 2) but not sure how to go about it as she's not good with milk during the day and I'm afraid she's legitimately hungry when she wakes up as opposed to just wanting it for comfort.....

 

[Boo44]

Bananaz that would make me soooo happy starting caffeine again! Go you! Will help with the sleep-deprived mornings

Jack's cough is still going strong He stayed over at my parents' last night and apparently was up coughing at 10.30pm and then coughing on and off from 5.30am. Just wish it would go away already!

If you do decide to sleep train Noelle we're right behind you! And will be interested to see what happens! Although it does seem like Charlotte is generally really improved so maybe wait a bit and see if whatever issue it is passes? She may surprise you!

I know the feeling though, at the moment jack has this cough. But he also may be teething. So I just keep thinking well even if his cough goes his teeth will be upsetting him. Argh! I think I need to chill out and stop searching for the perfect day. Like when he's not ill, he's not teething, he's slept fine and is eating/drinking well. We have had days like that but something always comes along to upset the balance. So I think I need to accept that this slightly fussy grumpy phase may actually just be the normal and be happy with that. Lol!

 

[Noelle610]

Aw Boo, sorry Jack is still sick. Poor kid.

Bananaz, yay for caffeine!!!! It would be great if you could have your mom for support in night weaning. It's not easy, but quick and I think Elise is a smart kid

So, I have spent the majority of my day trying to lay my former perfect napper down because she just learned to stand in her crib. Tonight should be fun.

 

[mrsbeano]

Aw Boo, sorry Jack is still sick. Poor kid.

Bananaz, yay for caffeine!!!! It would be great if you could have your mom for support in night weaning. It's not easy, but quick and I think Elise is a smart kid

So, I have spent the majority of my day trying to lay my former perfect napper down because she just learned to stand in her crib. Tonight should be fun.

We're kind of having this but only with sitting. You lay him down and by the time you've drawn the curtains he's sitting up so I just leave his blanket near him and leave. No idea how long it takes for him to lay down though! Does she know how to get down?

 

[Noelle610]

Aw Boo, sorry Jack is still sick. Poor kid.

Bananaz, yay for caffeine!!!! It would be great if you could have your mom for support in night weaning. It's not easy, but quick and I think Elise is a smart kid

So, I have spent the majority of my day trying to lay my former perfect napper down because she just learned to stand in her crib. Tonight should be fun.

We're kind of having this but only with sitting. You lay him down and by the time you've drawn the curtains he's sitting up so I just leave his blanket near him and leave. No idea how long it takes for him to lay down though! Does she know how to get down?

You know, she knows how to get from a seated position to laying down, so I assume she could get down from a standing positioning but I'm not sure. I guess I should probably try to work on it with her after the "nap" (if it even happens at this point).

 

[bananaz]

So, I have spent the majority of my day trying to lay my former perfect napper down because she just learned to stand in her crib. Tonight should be fun.

Ugh, yeah the standing thing can be a pain. For us it was a much bigger issue than sitting up, mainly because she learned to do it before she had totally mastered getting down. Hopefully Charlotte will get it figured out quickly for both your sakes!

Boo - Sorry to hear Jack's still feeling rough It's so frustrating that you can't give them cough medicine at this age. When my LO was dealing with the same issue her pediatrician suggested that Benadryl might help if the cough is being caused by post-nasal drip.

 

[Noelle610]

So, I have spent the majority of my day trying to lay my former perfect napper down because she just learned to stand in her crib. Tonight should be fun.

Ugh, yeah the standing thing can be a pain. For us it was a much bigger issue than sitting up, mainly because she learned to do it before she had totally mastered getting down. Hopefully Charlotte will get it figured out quickly for both your sakes!

Boo - Sorry to hear Jack's still feeling rough It's so frustrating that you can't give them cough medicine at this age. When my LO was dealing with the same issue her pediatrician suggested that Benadryl might help if the cough is being caused by post-nasal drip.

I hope she figures it out! A lot of the moms in my moms group have older babies. A few mentioned they only had one bad night and others said this went on for weeks! Why do I feel like Charlotte will be in the "went on for weeks" camp?

A bit off topic, but I cannot tell you ladies how many times I fantasized about giving my LO benadryl because I figured she'd sleep great I know that's not a good reason to medicate a baby, but when you're desperate you think of crazy things!

 

[MrsPear]

Ha, we are all looking at the thread at the same time! Hi guys!

 

[bananaz]

A bit off topic, but I cannot tell you ladies how many times I fantasized about giving my LO benadryl because I figured she'd sleep great I know that's not a good reason to medicate a baby, but when you're desperate you think of crazy things!

Haha, I've given Elsie benadryl at bed maybe 3 or 4 times to help make her comfortable when she has an eczema flare-up (per her pedi's advice). I debated about it for a while because I was worried that my real motivation was just to sedate her so I could get some rest But she was so itchy and I knew it was safe so I finally got up the courage and gave her a dose. As it turns out, it doesn't make much a difference for her sleep. She doesn't go to bed any easier and she doesn't sleep any better than normal, which seems crazy because the same little dose would probably knock me out cold! I guess I should just be glad she's not one of those kids who gets hyper on it.

 

[mrsbeano]

Aww, I always try and have a look but don't always comment.

We have had an awesome couple of weeks of 12 hours sttn but the last couple of night he has woke up and demanded a bottle. I can only really assume its a growth spurt because he polished it off and wouldn't settle without it at all. Fingers crossed its passed in a week or else its back to the night weaning!

Least hes settling quickly, was only awake for about 15 minutes myself last night so no complaints! x

 

[MrsPear]

Charlotte is hitting loads of milestones, but I hope she still sleeps okay tonight. Sometimes they surprise you and a day with good naps is not a good night and then a day with awful naps turns into a great night.

Bananaz, that is a better night than before but you still didn't get a really good stretch of sleep. Hope tonight's the night, and if not then coffee first thing tomorrow. Caffeine has pretty much got me through the past few months.

Boo I am sorry to hear Jack is still sick, poor little guy. Worth a try to give benedryl definitely.

Lots of new people! Hello! Sorry you are getting sleep deprived I am rubbish at offering advice because basically I try something different with Joni nearly everynight and have no consistency to my method (neither does she, coincidence?!) but you all have my sympathies.

Anyway, I have some exciting news- yesterday Joni went to sleep at 7 (did shhhpatting as normal but had to go back twice as she started crying, third time she let out a few sleepy moans and went to sleep), I did a dream feed at 10, she woke at 4 (6 HOURS, LONGEST SHE HAS EVER SLEPT!), I fed her and she slept 4:30-6:20. All in her cot! I was trying to remember the last time she did a night in her cot, I think it was before 4 months.

Tonight, I sat next to her but didn't do any patting (or shhhhing) and she was just playing in her cot, clearly completely relaxed, so I left the room, she did some moany cries for less than 2 minutes and she was asleep.

Don't want to get too hopeful, but I am so excited.

Also, thanks for your commiserations on the interview- I'm over it now, found another (better) one to apply to

x

 

[Boo44]

Thanks for the Benadryl tip! What exactly is that, is it an antihistamine? Am feeling sorry for the poor guy as he seems to be developing my tendencies to eczema and ?asthma, sob sob. He has gone to bed absolutely fine tonight but I can hear him wheezing! And that will turn into a cough come about 5am I just know it!

Wow MrsPear that progress is amazing!!!'

 

[bananaz]

MrsPear - That is soooo awesome! Go Joni!

Boo - Yep, it's an antihistamine. It tends to have a sedating effect on a lot of people which is part of why it's no longer labelled for use in infants in the US (I guess people were using it to get their babies to sleep on a regular basis) but it's very safe and if you speak to your LO's pediatrician they will probably give you dosing information. It's pretty much the only antihistamine that helps with eczema.

 

[Noelle610]

GOOOOOOOOOOOOO JONI! That made my night MrsPear

So Charlotte refused her second nap and was awake from 11:30am until I put her down at 6:00pm. The longest she has EVER BEEN AWAKE. She did the "I'm going to stand in my crib and scream and then laugh when you come to lay me down" thing for like 30 minutes and I think she finally crashed. Tonight should be interesting.