Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[socitycourty]

i get really mad when people don't understand or try to downplay how awful hadley's sleep is. and also blame it on me. yeah, i do all this for fun! urgh

i still have to feed 1-2 bottles a night. most advice i get is to ler her CIO because she's manipulating me.....wtf

 

[Noelle610]

It's hard, isn't it? I give great sleep advice to the moms in my group and I don't take any of it! It was so funny... We have a facebook page and a woman posted she was going to do sleep training for her daughter's pacifier addiction. Another women commented, "Noelle gave me great advice - stick to it for at least a week before you give up and be consistent!". My husband read this and laughed hysterically as the night prior I'd be trying to feed and rock my kid to sleep

My best friend is a CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST and she's confused too. She decided to let her baby CIO after she woke for her pacifier a few weeks ago. It failed miserably - she cried non stop for 2 hours and then she just went and stuck the damn thing in her mouth. She was really frustrated, because of course she's read that it work (and it does for many) and she's like, "What now? Does sleep training not work for my child?". I think the sleep stuff is just hard and so, so temperamental no matter how much control we like to think we have.

I too just want to find a middle ground, but my baby is so extreme that I don't know it works for her.

 

[Noelle610]

i get really mad when people don't understand or try to downplay how awful hadley's sleep is. and also blame it on me. yeah, i do all this for fun! urgh

i still have to feed 1-2 bottles a night. most advice i get is to ler her CIO because she's manipulating me.....wtf

Yup, that's annoying. I had a coworker with a toddler who always told me, "It's just a phase! Deal with it!". Okay, yes, while that is true it doesn't help to hear when you're a walking zombie and working 10 hour days.

I too hate being blamed for how my kid sleeps. A women in my mom group ounce (infamously) told me that she uses lavender lotion and has a bedtime routine, so OF COURSE her baby sleeps through the night. Oh, really? I hadn't thought of THAT! And yes, I did run out and buy the lavender lotion, so top judging me okay ladies?

 

[socitycourty]

I've gone through 2 bottles of that stupid bedtime wash...gave up on using it for Hadley, just use it for myself because it's supposed to be "calming"

 

[bananaz]

i get really mad when people don't understand or try to downplay how awful hadley's sleep is. and also blame it on me. yeah, i do all this for fun! urgh

i still have to feed 1-2 bottles a night. most advice i get is to ler her CIO because she's manipulating me.....wtf

Yeah, that's so frustrating. People always tell me to "just" let her CIO too. If my LO's sleep was consistently awful I might be more inclined to go with something like CIO but I know that she can go to sleep on her own and there are decent stretches of time where she's a pretty good sleeper so I don't know that CIO would really be that helpful for her.

But you know... I haven't tried lavendar lotion. Maybe that's the problem.

 

[socitycourty]

 

[Shadowy Lady]

I missed so much again! Hoping all you ladies got some sleep.

On night 2 of no sleep meds, I did much better. I fell asleep by 9 pm (in bed by 8:30) and woke up at 2:30 am (with only one wakeup in the middle). I was up till 3:30 when Sofia woke up and I fed her. After that I slept till 7 am. I know it sounds like a terrible night to normal ppl but it was better than night 1 and now I know I can do it.

We're going to be away for about 2 weeks starting Wed (visiting inlaws in the Caribbean) and I have to do a lot of packing/organizing as it is the first time we're going away with baby. I won't be on for much during this time but hope you all keep well.

We'll be in touch when we get back. Hugs to you all ladies..

 

[Noelle610]

I missed so much again! Hoping all you ladies got some sleep.

On night 2 of no sleep meds, I did much better. I fell asleep by 9 pm (in bed by 8:30) and woke up at 2:30 am (with only one wakeup in the middle). I was up till 3:30 when Sofia woke up and I fed her. After that I slept till 7 am. I know it sounds like a terrible night to normal ppl but it was better than night 1 and now I know I can do it.

We're going to be away for about 2 weeks starting Wed (visiting inlaws in the Caribbean) and I have to do a lot of packing/organizing as it is the first time we're going away with baby. I won't be on for much during this time but hope you all keep well.

We'll be in touch when we get back. Hugs to you all ladies..

That's a good night for me too. Can't remember the last time I slept 'til 7!

Enjoy your trip! You deserve it.

 

[Phantom]

My LO is 17 months and still wakes multiple times a night. Its really tough. Especially when you hear of other babies who sleep amazingly well. I guess we're just not lucky with sleep.

 

[bananaz]

I missed so much again! Hoping all you ladies got some sleep.

On night 2 of no sleep meds, I did much better. I fell asleep by 9 pm (in bed by 8:30) and woke up at 2:30 am (with only one wakeup in the middle). I was up till 3:30 when Sofia woke up and I fed her. After that I slept till 7 am. I know it sounds like a terrible night to normal ppl but it was better than night 1 and now I know I can do it.

We're going to be away for about 2 weeks starting Wed (visiting inlaws in the Caribbean) and I have to do a lot of packing/organizing as it is the first time we're going away with baby. I won't be on for much during this time but hope you all keep well.

We'll be in touch when we get back. Hugs to you all ladies..

lol Getting over 9 hours of sleep and sleeping until 7am sounds like heaven to me even with a long waking in the middle, but then again I don't think I count as "normal people" at the moment. I'm glad you're getting some rest. Hope you have a good trip!

 

[bananaz]

My LO is 17 months and still wakes multiple times a night. Its really tough. Especially when you hear of other babies who sleep amazingly well. I guess we're just not lucky with sleep.

That is tough. Does he go back to sleep on his own or do you have to feed him or soothe him back to sleep?

 

[MrsPear]

Bananaz, how can you complain when you haven't even put lavender in the bath! Such a simple solution and you'd never have any troubles again!! Seriously though- I agree, there is nothing like a curve ball after two days or so of good sleep and it's soul destroying!

Shadowy that's great you got some sleep, it will get easier sleeping without meds I am sure.

Phantom, I'm sorry you are still experiencing sleep problems, that sucks.

Silver medals to Lysh and Aimee for your LO's sttns...but they can only get gold if they do it a few more times!

boo- I hope Jack is better soon, sounds pretty miserable if he is refusing liquids and needs an inhaler.

Sorry I've been MIA last couple of days. I'm really disappointed about my interview, I thought I was okay about it but I do feel disappointed. I suppose being awake from 3am does not help, I completely froze at all the questions. She asked me what I can do on Microsoft Word and I could think of a single thing! Moron.

Anyway, that has nothing to do with sleep but I thought I'd throw it in as you ladies are so nice about everything!

Joni is sleeping okay!! She woke up twice the past two nights!!! I can't believe it. Also, she has cried a few times and got herself back to sleep which has never happened before- I used to wonder what all you meant when you said wait five minutes because she'd be hysterical. But now I think that because she went to sleep in her cot, she isn't surprised to find herself in it when she half wakes up, so she just gets back to sleep without a fuss.

I don't think you can necessarily tell whether what you are doing is making a difference or if it's just coincidence, but whatever, I'll keep up with the shhhpatting for as long as this good pattern is going on.

 

[cmarie33]

Ladies I'm joining you! Up until a couple of weeks ago lo slept really well! She'd go down fine and only wake once in the night. Hmmmm where did that lovely routine go?! We now have screaming before bed and at least two wakenings in the night. There's nothing wrong with her I reassure her I'm there. Once she's asleep her first stint will be 7-8 hours but from about 3am onwards its hit and miss

 

[L-C]

Hi

Please can I join you, I have an eight and a half month old, who can be up every 40 mins, I'm beside myself tired and on the verge of losing it. Went to see the HV on Thurs and ended up blubbing and so they are visiting on Monday.

As a newborn she was great and slept through to between 3-5 had a feed and then back until 8 ish. Those days are long gone.

I must admit though last night we had a freak good night with DD up twice at 11:30 and 4 am. I however didn't sleep - gutted!! She napped in her bed for and hour and a half today too, after two mins grumbling. That's the first time she;s slept that long during the day in her bed for 5 months. Feel like I'm a total failure and that I've let her down somehow.

Started a diary on the advice of the HV, I did do that with my son, who I thought was a rubbish sleeper but actually turns out he was pretty good. He was really consistent and was only up once or twice, until 11 months when he slept through and has done since!

Hope you all have a better night x

 

[Larkspur]

Ladies, I would love to make individual comments but I am just too tired to read the thread and need a vent and I know you will all understand.

Rafe's sleeping is worse than ever. I'm praying it's a Wonder Week (well, month) because the thought that this might go for months more depresses me.

He wakes up every hour to two hours (two hours is the 'long' stretch at the start of the night). That is bad enough but at least he usually goes back down to sleep very easily after a cuddle and/or a feed, so I am only up for 15 minutes or so at a time.

Last night he decided to stay awake for an hour at 1am.

I even tried putting him back in his cot to 'fuss' but he just worked himself up. In the end I put him in the bed with me, where he kicked and flailed around, finally had a tiny snack at 2am and then dropped off into a pretty restless sleep. Hour later, wake up, boob, asleep, repeat till 6.30am.

I don't know what to do. CC or CIO is simply not an option for me at this stage. People keep saying 'helpful' things like "Your milk probably isn't enough for him, give him formula at night." I'm starting him on solids next week, so I hope that might make a difference, but this baby is 98th percentile for height and weight, he's certainly not starving. In fact, I think part of it is growth spurt, as he grew 3cm in 3 weeks recently. (!!??)

Dear god, I'm so tired. OH is really trying his best and is being a great support, but the weight of this really has to fall on my shoulders (or boobs). My back aches, my head aches, and at the night wakeups I'm so tired it's hard to keep my eyes open. Surprisingly, during the day, once I get past my first coffee, I don't feel so bad.

Oh crap, I've gotta go - he just woke up from his (40-minute) nap.

 

[socitycourty]

larkspur, I know the feeling. I've gone over 8 months on crap sleep and it sucks.

Maybe you can start with rice cereal closer to bedtime, some people say it really does help. Although starting solids is a new "adjustment" and may disrupt the sleep briefly, or it may not. My LO started sleeping the teeniest bit better since solids. But by now she's on 3-4 meals a day and has started having the meat jars too.

Good luck!

 

[Aimee1003]

Larkspur- I feel your pain. The weeks where LO woke up every hour or so I slept in the recliner while I fed him. I think ur body just goes into survival mode!!

 

[Phantom]

My LO is 17 months and still wakes multiple times a night. Its really tough. Especially when you hear of other babies who sleep amazingly well. I guess we're just not lucky with sleep.

That is tough. Does he go back to sleep on his own or do you have to feed him or soothe him back to sleep?

He doesn't go back to sleep on his own. He usually needs milk (really bad, I know) otherwise we would be in his room all night. I haven't been able to try CIO or anything, can't bring myself to do it.

 

[Aimee1003]

Cmarie and LC...welcome. sorry to hear about ur lack of sleep. 5 months is when LOs sleep went all to hell. 4 months of crap sleep but finally things are getting better. Hope u all get some sleep!

Mrs. Pear- Sorry about the interview. Sleep deprivation makes it hard to function.

 

[bananaz]

Hi

Please can I join you, I have an eight and a half month old, who can be up every 40 mins, I'm beside myself tired and on the verge of losing it. Went to see the HV on Thurs and ended up blubbing and so they are visiting on Monday.

As a newborn she was great and slept through to between 3-5 had a feed and then back until 8 ish. Those days are long gone.

I must admit though last night we had a freak good night with DD up twice at 11:30 and 4 am. I however didn't sleep - gutted!! She napped in her bed for and hour and a half today too, after two mins grumbling. That's the first time she;s slept that long during the day in her bed for 5 months. Feel like I'm a total failure and that I've let her down somehow.

Started a diary on the advice of the HV, I did do that with my son, who I thought was a rubbish sleeper but actually turns out he was pretty good. He was really consistent and was only up once or twice, until 11 months when he slept through and has done since!

Hope you all have a better night x

Yikes, up every 40 minutes? You poor thing How are you putting her back to sleep? I hope last night wasn't a freak occurrence and you have another good night tonight and are able to get some rest. If you've read any of the other posts here you'll see that a lot of ladies have a hard time sleeping when their babies finally have good nights. It's so frustrating!