Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[bananaz]

L-C - It could definitely be teeth. When my LO is teething her naps seem to fall apart. At least it's temporary, right?


Last night was a mix. The good part was that she slept from 6:45pm to 3am, which is an awesome stretch for her. Unfortunately she was then up for almost 2 hours Both of her top teeth are cutting right now I gave her some ibuprofen and I think that helped, but in the end I had to just leave the room because every time I thought she was finally drifting off she would stir and then see me and want me to pick her up. After that she fussed for about 10 minutes and was out.

I guess me trying to pat her to sleep must be like having a big cheeseburger with fries next to your bed - even if you're not hungry you're still going to want some and get distracted

 

[socitycourty]

i am just having such a horrible time. feeling like a really bad mom and bad person too,TBH.

Hadley is just so fussy and clingy. She's fed, eats 3 meals a day, has a million toys. But all she does now is crawl around after me crying, I was loading the car the other day, she was here in the house behind her gate, she cried so hard she was almost vomiting when I came back-after 3 minutes or less.

The past 2 days she has refused naps in the day, I can't put her down yet she won't fall asleep, she finally fell asleep and then woke up hysterically as I laid her down.

Yesterday was the same, no naps all day, I was alone with her and my niece all day, got home, found out we have to buy a new car for my DH, which we don't have money for. I was trying to eat dinner, she knocked it on the floor, which then meant it was covered in fuzz and mashed up puffs, so I was like just fuck it all, I don't need to eat, whatever. I just got sooooo mad and then told my husband you have to watch her so I can go take a bath. Well as soon as I shut the water off I could hear her screaming. Not just crying but screaming.

He was changing her diaper. That's all that was wrong.

I just got out and got dressed again and went out to get her.

She wanted me to hold her but kept pulling my hair, pinching me etc and stuck her fingers up my nose.

i finally yelled at her, god damn just leave me alone, can't you just leave me alone for 5 minutes.

she just looked at me and then fell asleep. I felt horrible but I'm just losing it. How could I know that having a baby would make me nuts?

I've always had anxiety attacks, depression etc. but this is really bad.

I know that one factor of it is the sleep, I don't get restful sleep and never get to lay down on my own.

I have a bad tooth which needs a root canal and it HURTS.

I don't have time to eat regularly and when I do eat it's not healthy. I have no sex drive, no interest in going out or doing anything, not that I would have time anyway. All I used to do was read in my free time, 2-3 books a week. Now a book takes me over a week at least.


I'm totally losing it over here and I feel awful. I feel like I should give my LO to someone who will be nice to her all the time. Not a grumpy miserable bitch like me.

 

[L-C]

socity..... can anyone help you for an hour or so here and there so you can't hear the screaming?? I feel a lot like you hun, it's the sleep deprivation it magnifies everything! The fact that you recognise how you feel is awesome.....we all lose it at times but you are able to stop and realise when it gets out of control.

I've been sneaking off to the gym, I'm so tired by the end of the day I feel like I've been run over but a bit of me time puts everything into perspective xx

 

[mrsbeano]

i am just having such a horrible time. feeling like a really bad mom and bad person too,TBH.

Hadley is just so fussy and clingy. She's fed, eats 3 meals a day, has a million toys. But all she does now is crawl around after me crying, I was loading the car the other day, she was here in the house behind her gate, she cried so hard she was almost vomiting when I came back-after 3 minutes or less.

The past 2 days she has refused naps in the day, I can't put her down yet she won't fall asleep, she finally fell asleep and then woke up hysterically as I laid her down.

Yesterday was the same, no naps all day, I was alone with her and my niece all day, got home, found out we have to buy a new car for my DH, which we don't have money for. I was trying to eat dinner, she knocked it on the floor, which then meant it was covered in fuzz and mashed up puffs, so I was like just fuck it all, I don't need to eat, whatever. I just got sooooo mad and then told my husband you have to watch her so I can go take a bath. Well as soon as I shut the water off I could hear her screaming. Not just crying but screaming.

He was changing her diaper. That's all that was wrong.

I just got out and got dressed again and went out to get her.

She wanted me to hold her but kept pulling my hair, pinching me etc and stuck her fingers up my nose.

i finally yelled at her, god damn just leave me alone, can't you just leave me alone for 5 minutes.

she just looked at me and then fell asleep. I felt horrible but I'm just losing it. How could I know that having a baby would make me nuts?

I've always had anxiety attacks, depression etc. but this is really bad.

I know that one factor of it is the sleep, I don't get restful sleep and never get to lay down on my own.

I have a bad tooth which needs a root canal and it HURTS.

I don't have time to eat regularly and when I do eat it's not healthy. I have no sex drive, no interest in going out or doing anything, not that I would have time anyway. All I used to do was read in my free time, 2-3 books a week. Now a book takes me over a week at least.


I'm totally losing it over here and I feel awful. I feel like I should give my LO to someone who will be nice to her all the time. Not a grumpy miserable bitch like me.

I think you need a break. I enjoy Quinn so much now I'm working... I think that for me it's a case of distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Noelle said to me once that you don't have to enjoy the baby stage. For some reason that really helped me remember that there's so much more than the difficult first part.

Did you get any meds for PPd? X

 

[Noelle610]

i am just having such a horrible time. feeling like a really bad mom and bad person too,TBH.

Hadley is just so fussy and clingy. She's fed, eats 3 meals a day, has a million toys. But all she does now is crawl around after me crying, I was loading the car the other day, she was here in the house behind her gate, she cried so hard she was almost vomiting when I came back-after 3 minutes or less.

The past 2 days she has refused naps in the day, I can't put her down yet she won't fall asleep, she finally fell asleep and then woke up hysterically as I laid her down.

Yesterday was the same, no naps all day, I was alone with her and my niece all day, got home, found out we have to buy a new car for my DH, which we don't have money for. I was trying to eat dinner, she knocked it on the floor, which then meant it was covered in fuzz and mashed up puffs, so I was like just fuck it all, I don't need to eat, whatever. I just got sooooo mad and then told my husband you have to watch her so I can go take a bath. Well as soon as I shut the water off I could hear her screaming. Not just crying but screaming.

He was changing her diaper. That's all that was wrong.

I just got out and got dressed again and went out to get her.

She wanted me to hold her but kept pulling my hair, pinching me etc and stuck her fingers up my nose.

i finally yelled at her, god damn just leave me alone, can't you just leave me alone for 5 minutes.

she just looked at me and then fell asleep. I felt horrible but I'm just losing it. How could I know that having a baby would make me nuts?

I've always had anxiety attacks, depression etc. but this is really bad.

I know that one factor of it is the sleep, I don't get restful sleep and never get to lay down on my own.

I have a bad tooth which needs a root canal and it HURTS.

I don't have time to eat regularly and when I do eat it's not healthy. I have no sex drive, no interest in going out or doing anything, not that I would have time anyway. All I used to do was read in my free time, 2-3 books a week. Now a book takes me over a week at least.


I'm totally losing it over here and I feel awful. I feel like I should give my LO to someone who will be nice to her all the time. Not a grumpy miserable bitch like me.

That sounds hard. Serious separation anxiety.

What is her routine during the day? I wonder if Hadley might do well with something more rigid - I think most high needs babies do. If you could get her napping well, she would probaby be happier during the day and you would have some time to yourself.

I think if I were at the point you are, I would go ahead and do sleep training. I would start with nights and get that in order and then move on to naps at a later time. I'd probably choose the Ferber method or just full on CIO, since you're really getting no sleep at all and it's not healthy for you or Hadley.

Does she have a lovey? A little blankie really helps my LO at night. In addition, our pediatrician recommended a night light.

Hang in there, mama. You are doing great under very difficult circumstances. Most of us have snapped at one time or another and we don't have it half as hard as you do right now.

 

[Noelle610]

i am just having such a horrible time. feeling like a really bad mom and bad person too,TBH.

Hadley is just so fussy and clingy. She's fed, eats 3 meals a day, has a million toys. But all she does now is crawl around after me crying, I was loading the car the other day, she was here in the house behind her gate, she cried so hard she was almost vomiting when I came back-after 3 minutes or less.

The past 2 days she has refused naps in the day, I can't put her down yet she won't fall asleep, she finally fell asleep and then woke up hysterically as I laid her down.

Yesterday was the same, no naps all day, I was alone with her and my niece all day, got home, found out we have to buy a new car for my DH, which we don't have money for. I was trying to eat dinner, she knocked it on the floor, which then meant it was covered in fuzz and mashed up puffs, so I was like just fuck it all, I don't need to eat, whatever. I just got sooooo mad and then told my husband you have to watch her so I can go take a bath. Well as soon as I shut the water off I could hear her screaming. Not just crying but screaming.

He was changing her diaper. That's all that was wrong.

I just got out and got dressed again and went out to get her.

She wanted me to hold her but kept pulling my hair, pinching me etc and stuck her fingers up my nose.

i finally yelled at her, god damn just leave me alone, can't you just leave me alone for 5 minutes.

she just looked at me and then fell asleep. I felt horrible but I'm just losing it. How could I know that having a baby would make me nuts?

I've always had anxiety attacks, depression etc. but this is really bad.

I know that one factor of it is the sleep, I don't get restful sleep and never get to lay down on my own.

I have a bad tooth which needs a root canal and it HURTS.

I don't have time to eat regularly and when I do eat it's not healthy. I have no sex drive, no interest in going out or doing anything, not that I would have time anyway. All I used to do was read in my free time, 2-3 books a week. Now a book takes me over a week at least.


I'm totally losing it over here and I feel awful. I feel like I should give my LO to someone who will be nice to her all the time. Not a grumpy miserable bitch like me.

I think you need a break. I enjoy Quinn so much now I'm working... I think that for me it's a case of distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Noelle said to me once that you don't have to enjoy the baby stage. For some reason that really helped me remember that there's so much more than the difficult first part.

Did you get any meds for PPd? X

Is that ever true! I am finally enjoying motherhood at 9 months. When I was at the pediatrician's today for our checkup, there was a mom with a 2 week old baby. I turned to my husband and said, "I don't miss that". And I meant it.

I think the fact that I work and have a daily break really helps. I also think the meds I'm taking make a world of difference.

 

[socitycourty]

I was given xanax for occasional anxiety but can't take it every day. My ob wasn't very concerned when I saw him for what I thought was PPD, he told me to take vitamins. I'm going to ask the pediatrician at her 9 month appointment to evaluate me, I think she could do that.

 

[dalismom]

hi ladies, i need some sleep help. my lo is a reflux baby and has always been a terrible sleeper. he has given me one six hour stretch at exactly 12 wks and that was it. he sometimes went 4hour stretch first then 2s frommidnight to 8. he has always slept on me for naps, if i put him down he wakes up or maybe sleep for 20mins,MAX! he takes 3 hour or so long naps on me and a shorter nap at 415 and then bed at 7. well lately he goes down and is back up every hour or so and uo for the day at 6! he has always woke up alot in the evenings,after the initial bedtime but now it continues all night. i nurse him every two hours during the day and night,even though he wants it every wake up, i just rock him back to sleep. i would love him to nap in his crib but he just wont do it and for him to sleep even in 3 hour stretches. that's not ti much to ask,right? lol! our ped said cc but i just can't di it, he's so young yet. thanks for reading!!

 

[Boo44]

Noelle that's really interesting. Tbh I think we've been lucky with Jack's sleeping and I'm worried re this 9 month regression! He woke for 2 nights really crying out but was still mainly asleep when I went to him. Think he may be dreaming! Hasn't done it since *touch wood*. Not sure why I'm winding myself up with worrying re the 9 month regression. I did exactly the same at 4 months!!!!

 

[Noelle610]

I was given xanax for occasional anxiety but can't take it every day. My ob wasn't very concerned when I saw him for what I thought was PPD, he told me to take vitamins. I'm going to ask the pediatrician at her 9 month appointment to evaluate me, I think she could do that.

Definitely ask for an evaluation. I think something you take daily would be more helpful if the anxiety is constant (which mine was, so I understand!).

 

[Noelle610]

hi ladies, i need some sleep help. my lo is a reflux baby and has always been a terrible sleeper. he has given me one six hour stretch at exactly 12 wks and that was it. he sometimes went 4hour stretch first then 2s frommidnight to 8. he has always slept on me for naps, if i put him down he wakes up or maybe sleep for 20mins,MAX! he takes 3 hour or so long naps on me and a shorter nap at 415 and then bed at 7. well lately he goes down and is back up every hour or so and uo for the day at 6! he has always woke up alot in the evenings,after the initial bedtime but now it continues all night. i nurse him every two hours during the day and night,even though he wants it every wake up, i just rock him back to sleep. i would love him to nap in his crib but he just wont do it and for him to sleep even in 3 hour stretches. that's not ti much to ask,right? lol! our ped said cc but i just can't di it, he's so young yet. thanks for reading!!

I relate! Mine was a refluxer too. How old is he now? Is he medicated for the reflux?

 

[Noelle610]

Noelle that's really interesting. Tbh I think we've been lucky with Jack's sleeping and I'm worried re this 9 month regression! He woke for 2 nights really crying out but was still mainly asleep when I went to him. Think he may be dreaming! Hasn't done it since *touch wood*. Not sure why I'm winding myself up with worrying re the 9 month regression. I did exactly the same at 4 months!!!!

I'm a worrier myself, so I completely relate That certainly sounds like dreaming to me! I hope it doesn't become a regular thing for you. We had a few nights like that recently, too, but have had STTN without a peep the last two nights. Really hoping it continues.

 

[dalismom]

he is on zantac and just turned 4 months on monday

 

[Noelle610]

4 months is a terrible time for sleep! The 4 month sleep regression occurs when a baby's sleep becomes more "adult like" and they cycyle in and out of light sleep. It can cause more night waking, especially if baby is rocked/nursed/pacified to sleep, because they will need mom's help when they inevitably wake when entering a light sleep cycle. You might encourage some self-settling with the shh pat method:

https://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/01/shhpat.html

Do you have a Rock n Play Sleeper? My LO used one until 5 months old. They are GREAT for reflux babies:

https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Newborn-Rock-Sleeper-Yellow/dp/B002M77N22/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1361991584&sr=8-1&keywords=rock+n+play

 

[dalismom]

4 months is a terrible time for sleep! The 4 month sleep regression occurs when a baby's sleep becomes more "adult like" and they cycyle in and out of light sleep. It can cause more night waking, especially if baby is rocked/nursed/pacified to sleep, because they will need mom's help when they inevitably wake when entering a light sleep cycle. You might encourage some self-settling with the shh pat method:

https://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/01/shhpat.html

Do you have a Rock n Play Sleeper? My LO used one until 5 months old. They are GREAT for reflux babies:

https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Newborn-Rock-Sleeper-Yellow/dp/B002M77N22/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1361991584&sr=8-1&keywords=rock+n+play

that is what he sleeps in every night! i will look into thr sshhh pat, he usually just screams until i pick him up and it just wakes hik si much more. I am at a loss and so exhausted! 4 months is a long time with no sleep!!!

 

[Noelle610]

4 months is a terrible time for sleep! The 4 month sleep regression occurs when a baby's sleep becomes more "adult like" and they cycyle in and out of light sleep. It can cause more night waking, especially if baby is rocked/nursed/pacified to sleep, because they will need mom's help when they inevitably wake when entering a light sleep cycle. You might encourage some self-settling with the shh pat method:

https://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/01/shhpat.html

Do you have a Rock n Play Sleeper? My LO used one until 5 months old. They are GREAT for reflux babies:

https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Newborn-Rock-Sleeper-Yellow/dp/B002M77N22/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1361991584&sr=8-1&keywords=rock+n+play

that is what he sleeps in every night! i will look into thr sshhh pat, he usually just screams until i pick him up and it just wakes hik si much more. I am at a loss and so exhausted! 4 months is a long time with no sleep!!!

Oh that's great! Even if the sshh pat doesn't work, don't worry - this regression usually passes on it's own. Being sleep deprived is the worst!

 

[Boo44]

Noelle that's really interesting. Tbh I think we've been lucky with Jack's sleeping and I'm worried re this 9 month regression! He woke for 2 nights really crying out but was still mainly asleep when I went to him. Think he may be dreaming! Hasn't done it since *touch wood*. Not sure why I'm winding myself up with worrying re the 9 month regression. I did exactly the same at 4 months!!!!

I'm a worrier myself, so I completely relate That certainly sounds like dreaming to me! I hope it doesn't become a regular thing for you. We had a few nights like that recently, too, but have had STTN without a peep the last two nights. Really hoping it continues.

Well the first night it happened he did it like 5 times! And I went in every time as he sounds distressed. But when I clocked that he was asleep and fine, the next night I decided to leave him for a minute first. That night he only did it once at 5am and stopped and self settled within 30 secs then slept til 7.45! Amazing. Last night he didn't dream but woke ready to party at 6.30. I'll take that!! Have you escaped the regression so far? Touch wood!!!!

 

[Noelle610]

Noelle that's really interesting. Tbh I think we've been lucky with Jack's sleeping and I'm worried re this 9 month regression! He woke for 2 nights really crying out but was still mainly asleep when I went to him. Think he may be dreaming! Hasn't done it since *touch wood*. Not sure why I'm winding myself up with worrying re the 9 month regression. I did exactly the same at 4 months!!!!

I'm a worrier myself, so I completely relate That certainly sounds like dreaming to me! I hope it doesn't become a regular thing for you. We had a few nights like that recently, too, but have had STTN without a peep the last two nights. Really hoping it continues.

Well the first night it happened he did it like 5 times! And I went in every time as he sounds distressed. But when I clocked that he was asleep and fine, the next night I decided to leave him for a minute first. That night he only did it once at 5am and stopped and self settled within 30 secs then slept til 7.45! Amazing. Last night he didn't dream but woke ready to party at 6.30. I'll take that!! Have you escaped the regression so far? Touch wood!!!!

Oh that's great! Every time we have a bad night, I worry it's a new pattern or a sleep regression. We seemed to have escaped this one so far (knock on wood!!!). We've had the odd bad night where Charlotte has cried out in her sleep like Jack and we had that one night where she stood in her crib all night long, but otherwise her sleep has actually been really great recently!

 

[dalismom]

4 months is a terrible time for sleep! The 4 month sleep regression occurs when a baby's sleep becomes more "adult like" and they cycyle in and out of light sleep. It can cause more night waking, especially if baby is rocked/nursed/pacified to sleep, because they will need mom's help when they inevitably wake when entering a light sleep cycle. You might encourage some self-settling with the shh pat method:

https://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/01/shhpat.html

Do you have a Rock n Play Sleeper? My LO used one until 5 months old. They are GREAT for reflux babies:

https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Newborn-Rock-Sleeper-Yellow/dp/B002M77N22/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1361991584&sr=8-1&keywords=rock+n+play

that is what he sleeps in every night! i will look into thr sshhh pat, he usually just screams until i pick him up and it just wakes hik si much more. I am at a loss and so exhausted! 4 months is a long time with no sleep!!!

Oh that's great! Even if the sshh pat doesn't work, don't worry - this regression usually passes on it's own. Being sleep deprived is the worst!

Thank you! It is awful! What do yout think abouthis naps? Too many, too long or short? We do a bedtime routine but I don't even think it matters anymore?!

 

[Noelle610]

4 months is a terrible time for sleep! The 4 month sleep regression occurs when a baby's sleep becomes more "adult like" and they cycyle in and out of light sleep. It can cause more night waking, especially if baby is rocked/nursed/pacified to sleep, because they will need mom's help when they inevitably wake when entering a light sleep cycle. You might encourage some self-settling with the shh pat method:

https://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/01/shhpat.html

Do you have a Rock n Play Sleeper? My LO used one until 5 months old. They are GREAT for reflux babies:

https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Newborn-Rock-Sleeper-Yellow/dp/B002M77N22/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1361991584&sr=8-1&keywords=rock+n+play

that is what he sleeps in every night! i will look into thr sshhh pat, he usually just screams until i pick him up and it just wakes hik si much more. I am at a loss and so exhausted! 4 months is a long time with no sleep!!!

Oh that's great! Even if the sshh pat doesn't work, don't worry - this regression usually passes on it's own. Being sleep deprived is the worst!

Thank you! It is awful! What do yout think abouthis naps? Too many, too long or short? We do a bedtime routine but I don't even think it matters anymore?!

Is he doing 3 hours worth of naps prior to 4pm or 3 hours per nap? If it's 3 hours per nap, I'd say they're too long. At his age, I'd aim to have him down after 90 minutes-2 hours of awake time. I would cap individual naps at 2 hours and I'd discourage napping after 5pm. It's hard because you can get into this undertired/overtired cycle. Baby sleep poorly at night and naps well during the day to make up for it, but then they're undertired and don't sleep soundly at night, which causes night wakings and the cycle starts again.

I would definitely stick with the bedtime routine. It may not seem like it matters, but it does. Dr. Weissbluth of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" (great book!) has a chapter on colic/reflux babies. He says that parents of these kids often don't instill good habits because the feel like they're not working, but they do work - it just takes them a bit longer to "get it".

If it helps, I had a baby just like yours - she's now 9 months old and sleeps through the night most nights. We did some things to encourage this, but I think it was mostly time and growing out of the reflux. Hang in there!