Rant of an Infertile Woman

[Catwoman83]

my rant has two elements to it.

having an evil period after spotting for 9 days sucks. it feels like i never get time to catch my breath. AF for 6 days, trying to get over another failed cycle. BD for a week and a bit and feeling the hope and excitement that this might be the month. Then the 2WW symptoms spotting and trying to keep my emotions level, hoping, dreaming, praying, planning. then it all falls apart again so quickly, the moment that temp goes down I have to accept that it's over.

and lapping, oh i'm so glad i've found a word for it now, i know this is going to happen with my two closest friends. i got an email this week from a colleague to say she's pg, i don't know her story but does it make me a bad person to wish it was me announcing our pregnancy.

 

[kelly brown]

we been ttc 3 years x2 micarriage i totally agree you also missed out girls smoking and drinking/drugs whlist pregant when people like me who does none of than cannot concieve and when i do losses it life is very cruel xxx

 

[hopes fading]

Ladies, I love this thread, you make me feel human. A friend at work (who I also sit next to) has just announced that she is pregnant and they she wasn't even trying. It makes me so upset and the world feels like one big unfair place. The irony is that I will probably be the lucky person who gets to cover her workload while she is on maternity leave!!!

 

[Tulip77]

Lola, I am with you...What you've written is all what is in my mind...YOu just spoke out what I thought and thinking...Thank you so much...You see we both are in the same boat, hence I know exactly where your coming from.

Take care hun... and hope you will have your lil one sooonnnn...I am still ttc...10 yrs...with unexplained infertility & ofcourse DH has antisperm antibody...

Hoping to have ICSI in Feb'11. Fingers crossed.

Cheers
Tulip.

 

[lola13]

Thank you, Tulip

UPDATE: After all of my ranting, I have a (very, very, very) little bun in the oven! Clomid + IUI was the magic combination.

Best of luck to all my fellow ranters!

 

[hopes fading]

Thank you, Tulip

UPDATE: After all of my ranting, I have a (very, very, very) little bun in the oven! Clomid + IUI was the magic combination.

Best of luck to all my fellow ranters!

Congratulations - it's lovely to hear of someone finally getting what they have wanted for so long :-D Very pleased for you. X

 

[Leila Fae]

YAY! Congratulations Lola!

 

[Starbright]

Congrats Lola! That's fab news xx

 

[Catwoman83]

Thank you, Tulip

UPDATE: After all of my ranting, I have a (very, very, very) little bun in the oven! Clomid + IUI was the magic combination.

Best of luck to all my fellow ranters!

 

[Serene123]

Congratulations xx

 

[maaybe2010]

Congrats hun!

There's a post I have just read in TTC were a woman, already with two children is complaining that she is finding TTC very hard this time round.
She's on her second, SECOND cycle

 

[Deb111]

Family members who know the problems we're going through and spend every minute we're out making comments like ...
"aww look at that gorgeous little baby"
" that little one's looking at you - I think he's trying to get your attention"
"have you ever seen such a sweet little baby?"

 

[daisy31]

Love this thread! my Sister in law has said she cant possibly book a holiday with us in three months time because she will be pregnant by then (married a few weeks ago). She then looked me up and down and said "I would have thought you would want to be pregnant by then too"..... I do, I do, i do!!!

 

[jwelmel]

Continuing the rant...

I hate those girls who bitch and moan about ovulating one or two days earlier / later..try no ovulation or ovulating on day 40 of your cycle...
I hate that my cousin who was the b***h of our town has a 1.5 yr old son that she flaunts..yes i meant it...she flaunts or facebook..family gettogethers ..everywhere..
I hate that Oh doesnt care abt this as much as i do...
I hate the fact that this is totally out of my control...

 

[EmmyReece]

I hate the fact that my brother's girlfriend who keeps making me feel crap about my size will probably be the one to give my mum her first grandchild.

I hate the fact that my cousin tells me to relax and take my time "it'll happen when it happens"

I hate the fact that one of my friends has had 3 babies by 3 different dads.

And above all I hate people who are trying for baby number 5 or 6 and start moaning about how long it's taking them compared to their others!!!

 

[patch1]

I need to vent. Was not on any chemical bith control only condoms and diaphragm. Have been TTC for 9 montsh now with no success. Had blood tests- i ovulate, have regular 28 cycles (although since ttc they have been longer) partners sperm count is fine, had a scan of my womb- no visible problems so why hasnt it happened? Its not fair since i have been trying someone new in my life has been pregnant every month. My sister with her second, My Doctor would you believe when i went to see her about having trouble TTC! My partners brothers Girlfriend, My partners best frineds girlfrined, one of my closest friends, a girl at work, various people on the dreaded facebook. Its like it wil never happen what is wrong with me? then people make horrible comments like you two are trying so hard you will end up having 8! or they laugh when i tell them another person is pregnant- why is this happening to me? every month it gets worse, have tried OPKs, preseed it doesnt work and i cant go back to the doctors until after 12 months now to be referred to a specialist. I just feel like i will never be a mum and it is so bloody unfair that everyone else around me falls pregnant at the drop of a hat i feel like i am that 1 in 7 that will never experience motherhood otherwise why hasnt it happened for me yet. There must be something wrong as i wasnt even on any chemical contraceptive. I am fed of people and their comments. I feel like i have noone to talk to i am fed up of being in this position. I went on facebook today and an old school friend who already has two children is pregnant with her third. WTF! Where is the justice in that i only want 1. I have never been pregnant or had an abortion or miscarriage i just feel like i am living a nightmare i just wish it wasnt happening to me. It is such a tremendous strain on me and my relationship. I try to forget about it but as soon as someone announces another pregnancy i am back down in the dumps i feel so helpless i am so fed up i really dont know ho wmuch more of this i can take it is the worst experience i have ever ever had the misforune to go through and it only gets worse every month.

 

[Sash]

...so glad I found this site. Struggling to keep things together today!
TTC for 6 years, me and dh both 30. I have low amh but good quality eggs due to my age, 2 failed IVF cycles, one just last month.

Just found out today that two of my friends are pregnant and one of my colleagues, and another colleague just had a baby today. I have been feeling very composed and pragmatic about everything but today it's just hit me like a brick. Not many people know we're trying so struggle to find anyone to speak to. DH is rapidly losing interest and now not even willing to try naturally (hasn't been since we embarked on IVF). I just feel I'm falling apart a bit....

Just needed somewhere to vent, so thanks. x

 

[hopes fading]

...so glad I found this site. Struggling to keep things together today!
TTC for 6 years, me and dh both 30. I have low amh but good quality eggs due to my age, 2 failed IVF cycles, one just last month.

Just found out today that two of my friends are pregnant and one of my colleagues, and another colleague just had a baby today. I have been feeling very composed and pragmatic about everything but today it's just hit me like a brick. Not many people know we're trying so struggle to find anyone to speak to. DH is rapidly losing interest and now not even willing to try naturally (hasn't been since we embarked on IVF). I just feel I'm falling apart a bit....

Just needed somewhere to vent, so thanks. x

So sorry to hear of your situation; I can't imagine how you must be feeling. I am hoping that DH is just feeling negative at the moment but will come back around again. LTTC is hard enough without the added misery of other peoples pregnancies. I feel terrible most of the time for feeling like this but unless I know that someone has had some difficulty conceiving, then I find it almost impossible to be pleased about their pregnancies. I guess it's just the nature of the beast.

I hope your luck changes and somehow you get your BFP. X

 

[Deb111]

DH is rapidly losing interest and now not even willing to try naturally (hasn't been since we embarked on IVF). I just feel I'm falling apart a bit....

Just needed somewhere to vent, so thanks. x

I hear you on this one! We found out nearly 5 months ago that he has azoospemia - he's not been near me since It's getting to me today too - especially as he always says he's too tired, yet spends endless hours on bloody facebook!

I hope things improve for you soon xx

 

[hollee]

OMG this thread is just brilliant....im sorry but this could be a long rant

im 3 years ttc, one failed icsi & am 2 days into 2wk wait of FET - 2 snow babies transferred on thurs so feeling very up & down

i hate the fact that since ive started ttc 15 women have fallen pregnant 2 of which are on their 2nd - so i have to listen to alot of pregnant talk & then baby talk. All these women fell pregnant within first few months

people coming in to show off their babies - everyone crowds around them cooing & if im having a bad day & just can't face it i get one of 'those' looks making me feel horrible because i couldn't face holding their 4wk old baby

being left out of things because apart from 1 single friend im the only childless person

being told to relax & chill out - im sorry but i actually have a medical condition that stops me getting pregnant

a pregnant woman in work asked what side effects im getting while on ivf and after explaining some of them - teary, moody, headaches etc she went on to say that its all things she's going through in her pregnancy & that ill be used to it ----HELLOO at least you have a baby which makes it all so worth it

listening to people worry about having an ugle baby WTF get some bl00dy perspective

finding out a friend that already has 3 children had an abortion because she couldn't handle a 4th....well im sorry but you know how babies are made use protection

knowing my SIL does everything she can to get anyone to look after her 2 kids coz she can't be bothered

another friend of mine who has had 2 abortions & now has 2 beautiful girls says if i can't have any that she'll be happy to be my surrogate as she can pop them out - great just the thing i want to hear how fabulous you are at falling pregnant

i think i better stop now although there is lots more to burst out, its good to know that when things happen im not getting upset just because im being sensitive its because other people are being so insensitve

sorry for the loooooonnnnngggg rant x