Rant! People need to keep opinions to themselves unless asked!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by MegGriffin, Jun 2, 2011.

  1. MegGriffin

    MegGriffin Guest

    ARRRGHHH!

    Everyone seems to have an opinion on my pregnancy!

    Them - "are you going to find out the sex"?
    me - "yes"
    Them - "oh no you can't do that, it won't be as special/a surprise"

    P*sses me right off! it WILL be special when i give birth to my child thank you very much and and a "surprise" is hardly my biggest concern - I just want a healthy child.

    Another thing that's been p*ssing me off is we live in Zone 2 London, almost central, and don't have car and don't intend to get one. The parking is too expensive as is conjestion charge, plus we have everything on our door step. If I want to do a big shop I will do an internet shop. I have a tesco, co-op and sainsbury's all within 3-8 mins walk of my flat(!) we live in zone 2 london, npt somewhere that you NEED to have a car for.

    Them - "oh no you'll need a car"
    Me - "no we'll be fine, we live in zone 2 in london and we have the underground, the bus and the train line literally on our doorstep"
    Them - "no you'll need a car when a baby comes"

    A million people before me have had kids and no car and a million others after me will do the same as well.

    and just today I've been TOLD pretty agressively by someone that when the baby comes i will NEED a dryer.

    It's as if new parents think they're the only ones who have ever had a child EVER!!! It's like they're tryig to make me feel like a bad parent just because I'm not doing things THEIR way.

    ARRRGHHH! rant over.

    Thank you x
     
  2. Tantan

    Tantan Nathan, Brandon & Bump

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    Everyone thinks there opinions are always the best. I'd just try and let it go in one ear and out the other
     
  3. Cashewnut

    Cashewnut Mum to Abigail

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    Ive lived in london for a good couple of years, you do NOT need a car, at all. Especially if you are in a central zone, it would make more sense to get an oyster card than a car, will save you more money in the long run.
     
  4. MegGriffin

    MegGriffin Guest

    Thak you Cashewnut! xx
     
  5. Chocciebutton

    Chocciebutton Well-Known Member

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    My husband and I live on the edge of Dartmoor...nearest shops are 10 miles and neither of us drive!!!! we just about manage...you can definately survive in London lol
     
  6. Cashewnut

    Cashewnut Mum to Abigail

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    Haha no problems, I know what you mean, everyone says me and OH now need to get a car, but we have survived for 2 years without, and using buses and trains, and the last thing i want to spend my money on now is a car, id much rather spend the money on things for the baby!
     
  7. cooper2010

    cooper2010 Well-Known Member

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    You will do what you need to and your the only one who can decide that! i think its pretty cool you don't need a car. I live in a town with no sidewalks and if I ever had to walk to the grocery store it would probably take an hour with a stroller.
     
  8. pbuggy2284

    pbuggy2284 Well-Known Member

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    yeah I've been hearing the same thing about finding out if it's a boy or girl. I try to let it go but today my boss goes.." I told my daughter about how you liked the name Marlie and she said you should spell it Marli....that really pissed me off! I guess some people are trying to help but don't know they are making it worse :(
     
  9. seoj

    seoj Our family of four...

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    I know it's hard, but just take it all with a grain of salt. People get diarrhea of the mouth when it comes to pregnancy and babies... if they have one, they feel their way is THE best way... and maybe it is, for them-- but that doesn't mean it's the best way for everyone else in the world. lol.

    I've learned to keep my mouth shut tbh, when I talk to people I don't say what we are doing or else they will have an opinion about it. It's not been too bad... but I'm only 4 1/2 months... I'm sure the closer it gets the more "helpful advise" I'll receive! haha. As of now, I just say "oh thanks, I appreciate that" and do what I want to do regardless! lol. They won't be any wiser ;)

    Best of luck hun! I know you'll what is best for your family.. :hugs:
     
  10. 10.Laura

    10.Laura Well-Known Member

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    My mum said she would buy us a dryer because we would need it ... I'm not going to disagree, because she's putting the money up for it! :)
     
  11. heather91

    heather91 Preggers with 2nd

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    Oh what bollocks. I wouldn't dream of having a car, I live in Birmingham and everything I need is on my doorstep too. I live a 10 minute busride from the city centre for gods sake! Tell everyone to mind their own business. People just LOVE to inflict their opinion on you when you enter the world of motherhood, trust me, it will only get worse :doh:
     
  12. MegGriffin

    MegGriffin Guest

    Thank you ladies - I guss the thing that's p*ssed me off the most is unwanted advise that is given in a manner that seems like advise but is actually putting you down. We live ina 1 bdroom flat and our major proiroity is sving up to move not dryers and cars and other luxuries that may or may not come after.

    xx
     
  13. Rhiana79

    Rhiana79 Well-Known Member

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    I can sympathise.

    We keep getting the opposite reaction when we tell people we're not finding out the sex until the birth
    "oh no I can't wait that long"
    "But how are you going to decide colours for clothing/nursery"
    "how are you going to choose a name when you don't know the sex"
    "how are you going to bond with baby"

    So you can't win whether you choose to find out or not.

    The other thing is my mum keeps going on about us buying a fireguard "you bought that fireguard yet" "most important thing for you to buy is a fireguard" "forget about the cot and nursery until you've bought a fireguard"

    WTF the babys not even born yet and you've got it toddling around near the fire.
     
  14. MegGriffin

    MegGriffin Guest

    See advice and pestering from mum's is annoying but their hearts are in the right place. I'm p*ssed off with people at work that barely speak to me, not friends in any way shape or form and then think they can give me loads of "advice" which is basically just their way to criticise.

    There's also another lady in my office who has the same due date as me so there's alot of comparison which can get tiresome.

    x
     
  15. lau86

    lau86 Well-Known Member

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    Finding out the sex is each mum and dads own choice, it really annys me when people say oh it's better not to then give a whole list of reasons why, I mean we have found out, were over the moon to be having our little man, and they know it, yet they still do it!! I mean what do they want, us to say ok well we'll go back 2 months and not find out because of what you've said?! They're crazy!! Sorry, the whole finding out the sex thing always provokes a rant from me, everyone buts there nose in when it's only the business of those that have made the baby!!!
     
  16. LoPanda

    LoPanda Mama to 2 expecting #3

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    Drives me mad how people advise you on whether or not to find out the sex - your baby, your decision! I found out on Wed we are having a girl and couldn't be happier but completely understand why others would prefer to wait.

    When I told my friend we were finding out she told me that (she works in admin in a hospital) "oooh no don't - when I walk past maternity and people are phoning relatives to say their babies have been born they are so excited when they say its a boy or a girl but if they already know they are all deflated like 'oh yeah the babies been born'" How ridiculous! I think I'll be ecstatic to meet my baby whether i knew the sex or not thank you very much!

    People are even saying now "why did you find out?" cos I friggin wanted to!! Hehe rant over :)
     
  17. LoPanda

    LoPanda Mama to 2 expecting #3

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    Lau86 we have nearly had identical rants there lol :) x
     
  18. dragonhawk

    dragonhawk Mummy to Jonathan

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    Oh I had a good one last week....
    Picture the scene:
    At dance practice (3 hours of non-stop intensive ballroom and latin training) I'm wearing my normal ballroom shoes, so 2 1/2 inch heels.

    ---

    I sit down briefly for a drink of water and a spruce up with a towel.

    Husband goes and asks his more 'mature' dance partner to practice whilst I catch my breath.

    'Nice' but slightly interferring female stops in front of me and informs me that I need to be careful with regards to my calf muscles as, 'You'll be more prone to getting leg injuries!' Excuse me????

    I didn't say anything, it's not worth the hassle, but inside I was seething. Several things: if I was that concerned I would change to lower heeled dance shoes; I would take it easy for every other track so that I would not be as tired; I WOULD GET BORED and I'VE BEEN DOING THIS DANCING FOR OVER 20 YEARS. If I don't know what my body can cope with, no one else will!

    Sorry, rant over.
     
  19. MegGriffin

    MegGriffin Guest


    so true, and it's always the people that ask "are you going to find out the sex" who have a massive opinion on it and that opinion is "no you shouldn't find out" why are you freaking asking me then? clearly you only want me to say no because that's what YOU did.

    arrrghh! x
     
  20. MegGriffin

    MegGriffin Guest


    Oh my god I can't belive someone would say that! I think people get blind sighted about what's the most importnat thing in pregnancy/birth - and it's the healthy child. It's as if these people think the MOST important thing in the world is finding out the sex, then it's all yawn from there.

    We've decided we're finding out the sex but not telling anyone. se how they like it then, when they ask me I'll say yes we know the sex, and when they ask what it is I'll smile and say "we're keeping that private". See how the blo*dy like that! x
     

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