Ready to Give Up

mouse_chicky

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I never thought I would be here.

Ttc #3 since December 2014; I guess that's considered long-term.

I am not making another baby my mission. I love my 2 beautiful children, and I am blessed and thankful for them. I feel complete with them; I will not feel my family is incomplete if I don't have another baby.

And yet . . .

I do want one.

When I had my 2nd pregnancy, that resulted in miscarriage, it was the result of the 2nd round of femara. So I never dreamed clomid wouldn't work. But here I am, getting ready to start round 5. Our deal was-6 rounds and then done.
But, dh has agreed that I can ask my gyno if the test she wants to do to see why I'm not getting pregnant, can be worded in a way so that my insurance will pay for it. And if it's a problem that can be fixed easily, we'll do it. If not . . .
we're done.

I have already been coming to terms with it in my heart. I am at peace, but part of me is irritated that I've work so hard, and no baby. But if that's God's will, so be it.
 

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