really mad at my OH

[sg0720]

I am soooooo tired of getting denied to BD.....im sick of it i fell like i wish i had a normal guy who wanted to BD with his fiance like any normal person...WTF this is not the way to start off the day.... this is not the first time i have gone through this

 

[smurfy]

totally agree - i sort of give my other half an approx time when we need to DTD and now 4 months running there is always something, sickness, work etc

i feel like i cant do this any more, he does have IBS which is not nice but he continues to go out drinking thinking he is well again, 2 weeks later he has another attack, i am angry that he isnt taking his health more serious. I am working out 3 times a week, taking supplement, doing opks, hardly drinking only to get told i dont feel great or that we DTD 3 days ago. the think is my cycle can vary by 3/5 days sometimes so we really have to cover our basis for the week.

hear you totally.

 

[New Mrs W]

It's really hurtful to be turned down, I know how you feel. Normally I would say play hard to get, but when you're TTC it's not that easy! xxx

 

[RKW]

Hi, totally understand. We have been through a fair few months of suckness or work commitments or stag dis which can't be avoided meaning we miss ovulation time. It is so frustrating as I think they believe you can get pregnant any time at all and don't see ovulation as important. I'm sure it goes back to the major ramp up in sex education we all went through at school to stop teen pregnancy. We all now believe one go unprotected = BFP as that's what we were taught for 15 years at school. Very annoying when you are trying so hard for a baby.
You are not alone. Good luck xx

 

[jcombs35]

Sorry yall are going through this. I don't know all the details, but there could be several things going on. Sometimes our men don't want to conceive as badly as we do. Sometimes they feel too pressured or intimidated. Also, if you have been trying to get pregnant for a while, perhaps he may feel like a failure? Some men also can't stand for bding to feel like a chore. I have never had this problem to the degree that I become so upset, but I have found that choosing a calm time to talk about what we both want helps. In our case, we do both want another one, so DH understands there are certain times we have to DTD. For us, it works best if we bd every other day.

 

[Dahlia05]

I hear you. It can be frustrating. I talked with my DH, he said guys don't like to feel pressured & they will get frustrated. It will only frustrates them, knowing only for baby making. It can eventually drain them & make them not want to have sex anymore.

So instead of only sex for baby making. Do something creative? Don't mention baby making for a bit of a time. Show them you want to have s-e-x as in a womanly thing instead of a woman want to have a baby now mode. They can feel it & it will stress them out. Be romantic about it. I know this can be frustrating...but it can help a great deal on guys.

I stopped thinking about "baby mode" & my husband have changed his attitude too.

Not sure, if that is the case between you & DH.

Hugs*

 

[jcombs35]

I hear you. It can be frustrating. I talked with my DH, he said guys don't like to feel pressured & they will get frustrated. It will only frustrates them, knowing only for baby making. It can eventually drain them & make them not want to have sex anymore.

So instead of only sex for baby making. Do something creative? Don't mention baby making for a bit of a time. Show them you want to have s-e-x as in a womanly thing instead of a woman want to have a baby now mode. They can feel it & it will stress them out. Be romantic about it. I know this can be frustrating...but it can help a great deal on guys.

I stopped thinking about "baby mode" & my husband have changed his attitude too.

Not sure, if that is the case between you & DH.

Hugs*

Very true! We have certainly been there!

 

[sg0720]

I haven't mentioned anything to him about ttc cuz I know how he gets so idk..its very frustrating cuz I do just want to have fun sex

 

[silmarien]

I am soooooo tired of getting denied to BD.....im sick of it i fell like i wish i had a normal guy who wanted to BD with his fiance like any normal person...WTF this is not the way to start off the day.... this is not the first time i have gone through this

Have you sat down and calmly talked to your fiance about this? Some guys don't want to have sex because they aren't as enthusiastic about having a baby as we are. Others feel incredibly pressured each time you ask so saying no to sex is a way to stop feeling anxious about performance issues. And yet another segment of guys are just clueless about how often you NEED to have sex to successfully have a baby. I think your DF will feel safe to be honest with you if you're calm, and just ask him why he doesn't seem to want to have sex with you often, and if you ask him to be honest (and promise that you won't scream at him if you don't like the answer ).


Good luck, and I hope this issue gets resolved!

 

[veronica s]

I don't mention anything about ttc to my DH. He has no clue when I ovulate and no clue that I am so obsessed with TTC. He just thinks I'm extra horny during certain times of the month.

I know if he knew all this, he would not want to BD. Trust me, he can't have ANY distractions, otherwise it probably won't happen. If he's not up for a BD during the time I'm most fertile, I try to seduce him, LOL. And trust me I am very shy and reserved......but when it comes to baby makin, you better believe I break out those crotchless panties!

Ok, that may have been a little TMI, hehe

 

[sg0720]

Lol I am very shy n so scared to get turned down

 

[Bazinga]

I think a lot of men don't fully understand the need for sex (sorry I hate the term BD ) around ovulation. I have to have the chat a few times with OH. He knows it's important to DTD around ovulation, but he still thinks you can get pregnant anytime during the cycle.

Then other men do know how important it is and the stress makes them scared they'll be unable to perform to get us pregnant. So the stress and the fear combined aren't the best combo!

My advice to you would be not to mention you are ovulating for the next few cycles, and initiate more so he gets the fun without the fear and stress.

You won't get turned down trust me! Take a shower together or make him a nice dinner and wear a dress/skirt and casually drop into conversation you're going commando

 

[birthchickie]

I'm sorry if my comments offend someone, but this just seems so typical of some men. Maybe it's the new-age feminist coming out in me, but in my opinion they need to suck it up a bit. As soon as a women mentions that there is now a purpose to all the wonderful sex they've been having they suddenly crack under the pressure. My OH has done it as well so I can totally relate. It's not like were asking them to perform some great feat. This is a natural, pleasurable, and in the case of TTC, purposeful act. Unless a woman is simply laying there and demanding insemination, I don't really have sympathy for any man. I have a wonderful, honest, and loving relationship with my husband. We have agreed together to have another child, and that means participation by both of us (personally my TTC duties far exceed his). I can understand the frustration that months of TTC can have, but do they really think that little fairies come down, sprinkle some magic dust, and poof a baby is made?

 

[sg0720]

yes i agree with alot of what you ladies have said and like i have mentioned before my oh doesnt know i am ovulating i am simply just saying i am in the mood and want sex..just like any other day...so fx we have sex tonight and tomorrow lol

 

[silmarien]

I'm sorry if my comments offend someone, but this just seems so typical of some men. Maybe it's the new-age feminist coming out in me, but in my opinion they need to suck it up a bit. As soon as a women mentions that there is now a purpose to all the wonderful sex they've been having they suddenly crack under the pressure. My OH has done it as well so I can totally relate. It's not like were asking them to perform some great feat. This is a natural, pleasurable, and in the case of TTC, purposeful act. Unless a woman is simply laying there and demanding insemination, I don't really have sympathy for any man. I have a wonderful, honest, and loving relationship with my husband. We have agreed together to have another child, and that means participation by both of us (personally my TTC duties far exceed his). I can understand the frustration that months of TTC can have, but do they really think that little fairies come down, sprinkle some magic dust, and poof a baby is made?

Goodness, thank you for this. I so agree! I find it unbelievable that some men think women can get pregnant any time in their cycle?! Do schools really not teach males the human reproductive system(s)?! THEY SHOULD!

And yeah, guys should get OVER the stupid performance anxiety just because sex has a purpose other than getting off. Grr.

/rant

 

[sg0720]

lol you are lucky to have a husband like that and i am gladi am not alone

 

[silmarien]

yes i agree with alot of what you ladies have said and like i have mentioned before my oh doesnt know i am ovulating i am simply just saying i am in the mood and want sex..just like any other day...so fx we have sex tonight and tomorrow lol

Ah, in that case, I don't understand why your OH is being so weird about it. He gets lucky! Yay, right?


Wish I could be more helpful

 

[sg0720]

Thank you. i have tried talking to him and exactly like you said who knows what is going thru his head...i dont understand why it is so hard to have sex i know guys have to get it up...but if im there willing to do what i need to do...he should be happy right? i thought all guys want to have lots of sex lol and i have a 2 year old so it is hard for me to walk around in sexy clothes and not feel weird lol

 

[veronica s]

Thank you. i have tried talking to him and exactly like you said who knows what is going thru his head...i dont understand why it is so hard to have sex i know guys have to get it up...but if im there willing to do what i need to do...he should be happy right? i thought all guys want to have lots of sex lol and i have a 2 year old so it is hard for me to walk around in sexy clothes and not feel weird lol

Step outside of your comfort zone a little. Get a babysitter and make him notice you! You can do this. Trust me, I've Had success and I've been turned down but you never know until you try. Find out what he likes and just become that....or just break out a porn flick ( while your child is out of the house). If that doesn't work, try something else fun. You CAN do this! You are beautiful and sexy!

 

[sg0720]

Awww thanks I will give it a try tonight when we lay down for bed and put my son to sleep hopefully ill have good news that we had sex lol