really mad at my OH

[Bazinga]

We have to give the women here a little credit to make the choices that will suit them and communicate with their partners in a way that moves them forward. I'm happy that you're contributing even if just to disagree however, you influence more people when you can be positive while doing so and keeping your language clean, moderators manage language in these threads not ideas that people disagree with.

I am totally confused now. My language was clean? I did not curse or insult anyone. I disagreed with a post, being part of similar forums where the rule is criticize the post, not the poster. At no point did I make it personal toward you.

But then perhaps this forum is not for me, as I have been made to feel like a bully having been accused of calling you names, using foul language, judgmental, critical, negative and berating. Yes it might be foolish, but I'm actually very upset by that and feel like an idiot for crying over what some has said on the internet.

I have tried to avoid posting a reply here as I do not want to derail the thread further, and this will be my last post on the thread, I will be careful to avoid threads like this in future rather than be reprimanded.

SG I want to reiterate that I wish you all the best of luck and if you ever need to chat or vent let me know.

 

[mammag]

Your dog and I have the same name Lol, Gracie!!

 

[veronica s]

Your dog and I have the same name Lol, Gracie!!

Yay for Gracies! and you have a chi chi too----too cute. Love my little furry kiddos!

 

[mammag]

I have her Bella, and my black lab Charlie, he is the worlds dumbest dog. I pour him a bowl of water, and he immediately picks up the still full bowl, spills it EVERYWHERE and brings it back to me, like here's your bowl back Mom, lmao. My poor little Charlie.

 

[sg0720]

So, I just read through this whole thread and can absolutely sympathize, while my DH is always "willling" he is not always "able" and it can be so frustrating. Getting sex from him 3 days in a row is next to impossible. Which makes it very hard to have sex on O day, I don't always O at the same time, and since sometimes I O the day after my +Opk and sometimes two days after it can go like this, sex the day before pos OPK (because I know O is coming but not sure when and don't wanna miss it) I get the pos OPK and since I know I will most likely O the next day I have sex that night, but then DH is all sexed out, and say I don't O that next day and I O the day after that, his little soldier is just not "up to the task" so to speak. It makes me feel unattractive, or fat, or like he is bored with me. Back in the old days, when we were first together he could go 5-6 times a day, whenever; wherever. But not anymore, and it can make me feel worthless. And I almost never tell him when I'm O'ing, because if I do, then even getting the first BD out of him is next to impossible. The pressure to perform is apparently too much. Even though I go monthly to get poked, prodded, take pills and every other thing to try and get pregnant, and all he needs to do is HAVE SEX WITH ME!! Sorry for the long post, I just super feel your pain.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's tough when things don't happen on our time......My DH probably wouldn't BD as much if he knew I was ovulating. I choose to keep that info from him so I don't stress him out, because once he's focused on something else, he can't perform. I used to get upset whenever he couldn't get it up (bless his heart, he would try), but getting upset made it worse for him, and he explained that to me. He said he would be more willing to try again if I didn't get so upset. He told me that when I get upset, that adds more pressure and stress on him so the entire time he's worried about not being able to get it up, and then of course that's the worst thing to be thinking about right before BDing. So I've stopped taking it personally, and that's helped, because he's a lot more willing to try again. He's pretty upfront about that stuff, which is good.

My issue with my dh is that he's really not that excited about having a baby.....

i could have wrote that myself and mY OH is not 100% excited if we got pregnant he could care less lol but we talked about it a little yesterday and he would be happy if he did know i was pregnant so thats a good thing

 

[2have4kids]

So, I just read through this whole thread and can absolutely sympathize, while my DH is always "willling" he is not always "able" and it can be so frustrating. Getting sex from him 3 days in a row is next to impossible. Which makes it very hard to have sex on O day, I don't always O at the same time, and since sometimes I O the day after my +Opk and sometimes two days after it can go like this, sex the day before pos OPK (because I know O is coming but not sure when and don't wanna miss it) I get the pos OPK and since I know I will most likely O the next day I have sex that night, but then DH is all sexed out, and say I don't O that next day and I O the day after that, his little soldier is just not "up to the task" so to speak. It makes me feel unattractive, or fat, or like he is bored with me. Back in the old days, when we were first together he could go 5-6 times a day, whenever; wherever. But not anymore, and it can make me feel worthless. And I almost never tell him when I'm O'ing, because if I do, then even getting the first BD out of him is next to impossible. The pressure to perform is apparently too much. Even though I go monthly to get poked, prodded, take pills and every other thing to try and get pregnant, and all he needs to do is HAVE SEX WITH ME!! Sorry for the long post, I just super feel your pain.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's tough when things don't happen on our time......My DH probably wouldn't BD as much if he knew I was ovulating. I choose to keep that info from him so I don't stress him out, because once he's focused on something else, he can't perform. I used to get upset whenever he couldn't get it up (bless his heart, he would try), but getting upset made it worse for him, and he explained that to me. He said he would be more willing to try again if I didn't get so upset. He told me that when I get upset, that adds more pressure and stress on him so the entire time he's worried about not being able to get it up, and then of course that's the worst thing to be thinking about right before BDing. So I've stopped taking it personally, and that's helped, because he's a lot more willing to try again. He's pretty upfront about that stuff, which is good.

My issue with my dh is that he's really not that excited about having a baby.....

i could have wrote that myself and mY OH is not 100% excited if we got pregnant he could care less lol but we talked about it a little yesterday and he would be happy if he did know i was pregnant so thats a good thing

Just wait till they get their big hands on their little ones, even the toughest men melt like butta.

 

[Tiff]

2have4kids - People are allowed to disagree with you. Yes, her comment was critical in the sense that she openly stated she did not agree with you. That is completely fine and within our TOS. She was not rude nor did she berate you. Please see this for what it is and move on. Agree to disagree.

This thread is fine to stay open and let the OP get the support she wants and deserves. However, if either of you keep it going I will close it.

As per TOS:

Public posts debating these rules and/or the moderators enforcement of them will be closed or removed without comment. While feedback is welcome we request that you use the 'Contact Us' link below if you have any questions or concerns.

 

[sg0720]

I have her Bella, and my black lab Charlie, he is the worlds dumbest dog. I pour him a bowl of water, and he immediately picks up the still full bowl, spills it EVERYWHERE and brings it back to me, like here's your bowl back Mom, lmao. My poor little Charlie.

lol that is funny. i do not have any animals yet but i would like a pupply once we move into our own house

 

[2have4kids]

Ah, yes, we've all moved on! Thanks for your insight.

 

[sg0720]

So, I just read through this whole thread and can absolutely sympathize, while my DH is always "willling" he is not always "able" and it can be so frustrating. Getting sex from him 3 days in a row is next to impossible. Which makes it very hard to have sex on O day, I don't always O at the same time, and since sometimes I O the day after my +Opk and sometimes two days after it can go like this, sex the day before pos OPK (because I know O is coming but not sure when and don't wanna miss it) I get the pos OPK and since I know I will most likely O the next day I have sex that night, but then DH is all sexed out, and say I don't O that next day and I O the day after that, his little soldier is just not "up to the task" so to speak. It makes me feel unattractive, or fat, or like he is bored with me. Back in the old days, when we were first together he could go 5-6 times a day, whenever; wherever. But not anymore, and it can make me feel worthless. And I almost never tell him when I'm O'ing, because if I do, then even getting the first BD out of him is next to impossible. The pressure to perform is apparently too much. Even though I go monthly to get poked, prodded, take pills and every other thing to try and get pregnant, and all he needs to do is HAVE SEX WITH ME!! Sorry for the long post, I just super feel your pain.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's tough when things don't happen on our time......My DH probably wouldn't BD as much if he knew I was ovulating. I choose to keep that info from him so I don't stress him out, because once he's focused on something else, he can't perform. I used to get upset whenever he couldn't get it up (bless his heart, he would try), but getting upset made it worse for him, and he explained that to me. He said he would be more willing to try again if I didn't get so upset. He told me that when I get upset, that adds more pressure and stress on him so the entire time he's worried about not being able to get it up, and then of course that's the worst thing to be thinking about right before BDing. So I've stopped taking it personally, and that's helped, because he's a lot more willing to try again. He's pretty upfront about that stuff, which is good.

My issue with my dh is that he's really not that excited about having a baby.....

i could have wrote that myself and mY OH is not 100% excited if we got pregnant he could care less lol but we talked about it a little yesterday and he would be happy if he did know i was pregnant so thats a good thing

Just wait till they get their big hands on their little ones, even the toughest men melt like butta.

i agree they will melt. how long have you been ttc and is your husband on board?

 

[veronica s]

sg, are you asking me?

 

[mammag]

I'll answer just for the sake of answering Lol, I have been TTC since May of 2008, have gotten pregnant 3x in that time span and all have been chemical pregnancies/early miscarriages. DH is on board, except for when I have a miscarriage, that is always hard on him and he will bring up not trying anymore, he sometimes makes comments like "trying for a baby for this long destroys families" he's just worried that I can't handle it or something, IDK. But it does drive me crazy that I could just quite trying tomorrow and he would be totally cool with it, so yes he is on board in the sense that he goes along with me, he did his SA with no problem and pays for my fertility stuff every month, but if it weren't for my goading, he could care less.

 

[2have4kids]

Mammag, I'm sorry to hear about your losses, I really hope it happens for you two soon!!

I've had the IUD out since last june, been tracking my cycle for 5-6 months, fam doc said I look anovulatory and sent me to the fc, fc did assessment in Feb. Up until Feb, the OH wasn't seriously wanting kids...why would he give up this selfish lifestyle!! We live well, travel lots and he's just lined up a demanding job on top of his own business. So when we were both pulled into the clinic and they broke the news that I have less than 10% chance of conceiving the water works started (I couldn't hold it back) he changed his tune that instant. I was diagnosed with really bad arthritis in my knees at 35 May 2011 to remove bone spurs-that's what changed my mind. How am I going to be able to carry when my body's breaking down! Too much running & impact sports. I have to tread lightly now.

So OH is on board but hasn't always been, up til Feb this year! It's funny cause he's not really interested in unless now I'm hinting...ok it's time OPK is blinking...! Then he's trying to do his very best for us. He recently told me he read an article in BBC news that giving your lady an org during can help the make it's way to where it needs to be.

But he's also 42, if you ladies are dealing with men who are younger, they may well be in a diff stage right now (not that it makes their behaviour any better!) I mean if it took a doc to turn my guy around at 42, I can totally relate and hope that you're potentially in a better situation because YOU are trying younger than I have. Stay positive, keep determined and you know the rest blah blah blah

 

[sg0720]

veronica- i was asking 2have4kids lol

but anyone that wants to answer i will be happy to get to know each of you a little more.

mammag- awww im sorry for you losses i hope you get your bfp soon and its a sticky one =]

a little bit about me i am 21 soon to be 22 i have a 2.5year old boy and my OH is 25 i have been ttc for 2 years or so after the depo and my OH hasnt been trying lol he could also careless if iget pregnant or not but he knows that i am not on BC and he is not using protection..so i am just waiting for it to happen this cycle i think we had the best chance out of them all because we actually bd at the right time and thank you ladies because your encouragement made me very persistent lol and i got to have sex lol but that is really my story in a nut shell lol

 

[sg0720]

I've had the IUD out since last june, been tracking my cycle for 5-6 months, fam doc said I look anovulatory and sent me to the fc, fc did assessment in Feb. Up until Feb, the OH wasn't seriously wanting kids yet, we live well, travel lots and he's just lined up a very demanding job on top of his business. So when we were both pulled into the clinic and they broke the news that I have less than 10% chance of conceiving the water works started (I couldn't hold it back) in the office he changed his tune very quickly. I was diagnosed with really bad arthritis in my knees last year and had surgery in May, that's what changed my mind. How am I going to be able to carry when my body's breaking down! Too much running & impact sports. I have to tread lightly now.

So he's on board but hasn't always been and it's funny cause he's not really interested in unless I'm hinting...ok it's time! Then he's trying to do his best, he even told me he read an article in BBC news that giving your lady an org during can help the make it's way to where it needs to be. But he's also 42, if you ladies are dealing with men who are younger, they may well be in a diff stage right now. I mean if it took a doc to turn my guy around at 42, I can totally relate and even feel that you're potentially in a better situation because YOU are trying younger than I ever have. Stay positive, keep determined and you know the rest blah blah blah

thanks. my family and i never thought i would be able to have children because i have cysts on my ovaries and they said if i wanted them removed it would decrease my chances of having children so they still come on there own and they burst on there own which is soooooo painful because i refuse to get the surgery but like i have mention i have a little boy and i pray god will bless me with 2 more children 1now and then 1 in the future

i wish you the best of luck and i hope you catch your egg and get that well deserved BFP

 

[smurfy]

Hey ladies I got to bd before work lol persistance lol

Good, you said you had EWCM a couple of days ago - how many days have you had it?

x

 

[sg0720]

i had alot of ewcm the 22nd then that was it my CM was just clear some was stretchy some wasnt and then yesterday i checked my cervix and around my cervix only there was clear stretchy CM and im like that seems fertile still to me so i BD again just to make sure all of my bases were covered.

before that i got a lil freaked out because i thought i had ovualted earlier but i didnt my body was just gearing up for ovulation around the 14thish

 

[smurfy]

i had alot of ewcm the 22nd then that was it my CM was just clear some was stretchy some wasnt and then yesterday i checked my cervix and around my cervix only there was clear stretchy CM and im like that seems fertile still to me so i BD again just to make sure all of my bases were covered.

before that i got a lil freaked out because i thought i had ovualted earlier but i didnt my body was just gearing up for ovulation around the 14thish

makes sense, i had alot of ewcm this time round so was interested to hear your story so to speak. trying to understand though as the egg can last 24 to 48 hrs, so EWCM helps the sperm swim towards the egg, so i assuming we would get EWCM for the 24/48 hrs whilst the egg is around too not just before ovulation, what do you think? thanks

 

[whlisa19]

Sorry yall are going through this. I don't know all the details, but there could be several things going on. Sometimes our men don't want to conceive as badly as we do. Sometimes they feel too pressured or intimidated. Also, if you have been trying to get pregnant for a while, perhaps he may feel like a failure? Some men also can't stand for bding to feel like a chore. I have never had this problem to the degree that I become so upset, but I have found that choosing a calm time to talk about what we both want helps. In our case, we do both want another one, so DH understands there are certain times we have to DTD. For us, it works best if we bd every other day.

That's what I went through with my husband. After we got his fertility results he felt like it was his fault and that it was no use trying, or something like that. He didn't want to talk about it When we started talking about NI he really perked up because our odds now are very good. My results are all normal and with a bunch of during my fertile week I am very hopeful that we can finally start our family

 

[whlisa19]

He recently told me he read an article in BBC news that giving your lady an org during can help the make it's way to where it needs to be.

I read the same thing so my husband is going to give me one before we do NI