Recently Single Mum To Be With No Family Support.

[Sammy92]

So im 22 years old (will be 23 in a few months), I am 13 weeks pregnant and so excited to be a mom, its all i have ever wanted, i see friends that are career driven or want to travel etc but i have always wanted to be a mum and have a family.
My Boyfriend (ex, also the father of the baby) has always been there for me through everything thick and thin, but hes strongly against having this child, he doesnt think im ready or does he think he is. And no longer wants to be with me due to me keeping it. Im just in my final year of university due to graduate in june (baby due in august).
My parents however have completely disowned me, they want nothing to do with me or this child when its born, they have told me when I have finished university im not welcome back at their home leaving me around 6-7 months pregnant homeless.
I have never felt so scared and alone, all i want is their support emotionally and neither of them are willing to do that.
I went through an abortion last year and i just dont think i can do that again it will hurt me so much and i will never be able to forgive myself.
Please someone give me some advice, good or bad i just need to know that what i am doing isnt wrong, i already love this baby more than anything in the world.

 

[missk1989]

Oh hun I am so sorry to hear they are treating you this way. Hopefully your parents will come around in time but in case they don't I would go to citizens advice and ask them what you are entitled to financially and in housing etc.

 

[Squiggy]

YOU ARE NOT WRONG!
And since you've already gone through an abortion, you know that's not something you want again. Have your little baby. And when it gets difficult remember that no temporary feeling is ever stronger than love. You and your little baby will have each other and as long as you never resent him/her you will always have each other. And always be the parent you wish you had right now!
Your situation is terrible but it's not permanent. It's a shame that everyone is abandoning you when you need them the most. Babies are hard work and they stay hard work for a lot of years. But being a mum is your dream and it's SO rewarding! I waited until I couldn't wait anymore to have a baby, I wanted to be mature and "ready." I wanted my financial situation to be good, I wanted to be married, I wanted the security of a home. so I was 35 when I finally got pregnant for the first time. Let me tell you, I traded the energy of my youth for the maturity of being older and I think I'd have been happier the other way around!!! AND, I have NONE of those things. I'm broke. I'm married but I'm married to an unsupportive loser who doesn't want me or the baby and increasingly tells me to get out. And I have no home to go to, not even relatives or friends. I have nothing but my baby. So, waiting works for some people but not others. I couldn't put off having children any longer so chose to start my family in a very poor situation and still, I desperately want at least one more child!! And what if my husband finally throws me out and means it one day? No court will allow a homeless woman to keep her children. I understand what a bad situation is. I waited too many years for my life to get on the right track and yet at every turn it would derail. I always assumed that life was long and that by 30 I'd be happily married, financially independent, and have a happy home. Instead I settled for a mediocre guy whom treated me much worse once I became dependent on him. I'm verbally abused, so is my son. My life is nothing I imagined it would be by this age.


The point is - keep your baby. But ALWAYS be glad that you did. And never confuse your anger at the world for anger at your child; always know the difference and your relationship with your baby will be so much better. Be your child's friend, but always be his/her parent! And you two will have each other lifelong whenever you need someone, whenever times get hard, whenever everyone else turns their back.

 

[daneuse27]

I'm sorry to hear that the people you thought you could trust have turned their back on you If being a mom has always been your dream, then I think you should keep this baby. It sounds like you really want to.

You will have a degree under your belt which will help when you begin to look for jobs. May I ask which country you live in? Do some research and find out about every opportunity, benefit and assistance there is available to you. Start preparing now, as there is a lot to prepare for and a lot to figure out. But you can do it.

 

[Yammas]

As a young pregnant female you'll be entitled to emergency housing I'm the opposite way around to you I'm potentially starting uni in September so I'm not sure how benefit entitlement will work but of you've graduated you should be fine. Try speaking to the jobcentre if your 6 months gone I'm you might be able to get income support if you don't find a job straight away, there's a sure start grant to help with baby things as well.

I wasn't with my fob but he tried to make me feel like an abortion was the only option and I knew in my heart I couldn't do it you know what's right for you hun there's help out there I hope this is helpful x

 

[alina_sss]

Jesus... I understand when a boyfriend leaves you, when your friends dissapear, when bosses hate you for missing so many days at work while you're pregnant, but when parents are telling you that you aren't welcomed back home is "terrific"!
There is a song by Mylene Farmer called "F*** them all", and I did think about it when I read your story.
Sammy, just forget about those people, all of them. You don't need such betrayers in your life. Have a baby , trust me he/she already loves you for who you are.