Recurrent Miscarriage Thread

[LeeC]

That's understandable 9babies, we all need a break sometimes and you definitly deserve one xxx.

 

[9babiesgone]

thanks!! I am having a hard time coming to this thread, bc it is such a reminder of what I have lost.

 

[petitpas]

Lee, it's such a darn shame you're at the opposite side of this island to where I am!

9babies, we all take breaks, there is nothing to apologise for.

 

[9babiesgone]

thanks petipas!!!

 

[LeeC]

Yeah, thank you Petitpas, it is a shame, I'm really thinking I want to organise something, not sure what, but I know I def want raise awareness for our cause xxx.

 

[LeeC]

I don't want to cause offence to anyone who has suffered m/c and has children, but read this on m/c assoc page and it really brought a tear my eye,
I really don't want to offend anyone who has suffered m/c and has children, as it is always a tragic event, but felt the need to post this link, because of my personal circumstances,:

https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/ma2006/support/reflections/personalaccount21.htm

 

[9babiesgone]

I am really not comfortable posting in here anymore.


it is like when I used to post in ttc section, people got mad, bc how can I understand since I have 2 kids. and then there were comparisons on how it was harder for them, then for those with kids already. I feel the comparsion between those who miscarry before or after having kids, shouldnt feel like they can relate with those who havent had a child. I almost lost both of my living children, my daughter tried to miscarry, and then at 20-24 weeks, she kept trying to come out. my son also did the same thing. I almost lost him at 26 weeks.
I had 5 miscarriages before my first child, and now 5 after my 2nd child. I think I shouldnt be mad to feel like I dont understand the pain of not being able to conceive and miscarrying. I know perfectly well.

 

[LeeC]

I'm sorry you feel like that 9babies, it is def not my intention to undermine any m/c or anyones feelings, this was not my intention we all have different journeys, it does not mean one is harder than the other.
If that post nade you feel uncomfortable, I apologose profusely, we are all struggling enough as it.
I can't reallly say anymore, I hoped that post was appropriate for people in this situation and was not dismissing any loss in any other way x

 

[daviess3]

9 babies gone, I have no children an have just lost my 3rd an you no what you out of everyone have the knowledge an pain to understand what it's like! I got told in first tri by a lady that I was wrong for calling my dog my baby! But I have no children so she is an when I do have my baby whenever that may be, my dog will always b my baby she has caught so many of my fallen tears! She told me when I actually become a mother to a real child I would have the right to an opinion! I was so upset! Whatever anyones opinion we all find ourselves in these unfortunate circumstances an it's not for any woman to judge another!
I would certainly say you understand don't worry or stress yourself with these people! You no both sides of how someone would feel an if anything you should be able to give people hope that with perserverance you can get your baby but the roads not always easy!
Chin up sweetie x

 

[smidgen]

sending big hugs to you 9babies. xxx Remember we are here for you if you need to talk. And its no big deal if you need time out from the thread. I've been ducking in and out of here for the last 2 years or so xx

 

[LeeC]

Right, I'm sorry I seem to have upset people unintentionally. It was not my intention. I think I will give this site a break for a while too. Thank you all for your support xxx.

 

[stardust22]

I know you didnt mean to offend anyone! dont go away Leec!!!

 

[smidgen]

Whoa there LeeC, don't be rash! We know you didnt mean to offend anyone intentionally!

We're all supposed to be here for each other - not push each other away - don't go..

Big hugs for you too

Vee x

 

[daviess3]

Leec my comment wasn't against u Hun, I dont want u to go either we are all here fir same thing sweet an I read that link an can understand how she feels, I don't think u came across like that hun, I don't think ur who 9babies was talking about! Like I said in my post someone on first tri was really horrid to me telling me coz I don't have a living baby I don't qualify for my opinion! I think as soon ad u get preg ur maternal insti
Ct kicks in to protect an I'm a mummy to babies in heaven! The fact is we will all have diff opinions about dogs children whatever else, but were all here coz we need support to try an get our 1st 2nd 3rd 10th baby it doesn't matter we are all here coz of out unfortunate circumstances! Let's all stick together ladies 20 heads is better than 1!! Xx

 

[9babiesgone]

dont leave lee!!
I am just tired of not feeling like I fit in, bc I have kids, and that isnt your fault, I shouldnt have taken that personally.


It is just something I see a lot of times, on this forum.

I am going now. bc I honestly hurt people I guess to o much.

 

[stardust22]

Hey 9babies, I am soooo sorry you are feeling the way you are, I can just tell from your messages how upset you are and frustrated!! having so many losses must really have made you so sensitive, I have (only) had 4 but trust me, I get so angry when some of my closes friends make a comment that seems to insensitive or I feel they just dont realise. we are all here to stich together and that means you too, we all want you here and to be able to say how you feel. I think this is the one (and only) place we all come to be true to ourselves and say what we want.

Sending everyone huge hugs and positive thoughts, I have no answers to this heartache anymore and wonder if it will ever be normal again, my life has changed from the day of my first loss. I will never get over it

 

[petitpas]

Honestly, lee, what are we going to do without our little fighter in our midst?! If you leave, I will no longer feel comfortable posting in here knowing that someone as nice and understanding and courageous as yourself was pushed out.

For what it's worth, I also sometimes think I am in a different situation to those recurrent miscarriers who already have live children. I am not devalueing their loss, just as I don't disrespect the pain of my lttc friends. There is nothing wrong in saying that we are in different situations!
Yes, we are all recurrent miscarriers on this thread, all in different parts of the world. Some of us have children, some do not, some of us are young, others are older and I think it is fine to post something that is only relevant to one of those categories.

I don't have children and just like the lady in the article, people keep asking me why not. That hurts and I should be able to complain about it on here.

9babies, I know you are in a lot of pain and need support. So please don't be too upset when you read this. I just think that lee was totally in line to post what she did and I liked the link.

 

[reedsgirl1138]

I dont post here often anymore but I follow you ladies all the time praying for your miracles...I hate to see any hurt feelings in here. Please stick together ladies...and put all your faith together. I am praying for you all. XX

 

[mandy1971]

Hi girls Prof Quenby was my consultant with this pregnancy and she delivered him. If anyone wants any info let me know. After technically six mc including ectopic she diagnosed my problems and got me Ollie x

RESULT!
A dr Quenby success story. Congratulations on Ollie, he's a little cutie.
what did your treatment consist of?

Fluffy Blue, I am hoping for my appt in 2 weeks or so, I have had 5m/c's and 1 ectopic also and know that I will never be able to carry a pg to term without some intervention, so i'd be keen to hear about your experience with Prof Queby prior to my appt.

Mandy thanks for posting this. x

Hi I was rooting about and found a girl on here called applegirl, anothe bnb member asked me to look her up. So I emailed her and here is her reply. she had her baby after steroid therapy.

Many - you are not asking too many questions at all and I am happy to answer.

We did not use IVF - i never had problems getting pregnant - it was staying pregnant that was hard...

I was on 20 mg of prednisolone. i started taking it from my and continued through to 14 weeks. (we scaled up and down from 5 then 10 then 15 then 20 mgs over a few days at the start/end.)

After the steroids finished I did not have any other special care in my pregnancy - and I delivered a healthy baby on due date best day of my life! you can read my birth story on the first page of my parenting journal. I think that Dr. Quenby does not like the NK cell pregnancies to go late and she usually induces at 38 weeks, but I had moved and was under the care of a different doctor and we did not do that. Dr. Q said that NK cell babies tend to be small and FM was a little small at birth and that they have a higher risk of cleft palate, but FM did not have that - thankfully! (but of course, if she did, that is a small price to pay.... and we would have just had the corrective surgery for her)

 

[mandy1971]

I am really not comfortable posting in here anymore.


it is like when I used to post in ttc section, people got mad, bc how can I understand since I have 2 kids. and then there were comparisons on how it was harder for them, then for those with kids already. I feel the comparsion between those who miscarry before or after having kids, shouldnt feel like they can relate with those who havent had a child. I almost lost both of my living children, my daughter tried to miscarry, and then at 20-24 weeks, she kept trying to come out. my son also did the same thing. I almost lost him at 26 weeks.
I had 5 miscarriages before my first child, and now 5 after my 2nd child. I think I shouldnt be mad to feel like I dont understand the pain of not being able to conceive and miscarrying. I know perfectly well.

we are all in the same boat, and we all need to share our story, whether you already have children or not is irrelevant., If anything the fact that you almost lost your 2 living children, should be encouraging, because it shows the rest of us who still have no kicking screaming kids, that it can happen. so dont feel that you are not part of an exclusive club because you very much are, and a crusader at that! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx