Recurrent Miscarriage Thread

[padbrat]

Hello my friends it is with much sadness that I am writing this.. I had my 12 week scan a few weeks ago which showed a 3.5mm nuchal fold which is Abnormal(although fro
Reading posts some baby's are born normal.) I was given a 10%risk of downs and my partner and myself decided not to have the amnio which carries a 1% risk of miscarriage., having had 3 early miscarriages already I was not prepared to take that risk., so on the day of amnio I went along and asked for a scan instead as I'd been alarmed the day before to have had some mild cramping...
On the scan the consultant spotted a soft marker for heart defect which points to downs.., also I was told that as it was spotted at 6 weeks the heart damage would be catastrophic and that at best baby would survive to omy 2 weeks even after surgery if she didn't die in the womb before that...
I had a heartbreaking few weeks to decide on what the best thing to do was we went ahead with the amnio which confirmed our little girl did indeed have downs..
We felt the kindest thing would be to opt for an ethical termination. Which I had done last week on my 40th birthday., baby emma was born then on our shared birthday...
I am just so lost and devastated for my poor little angel but knoW we made the best decision and have spared her from suffering...
My little girl should have been born before Xmas which will be hard as I know 3 people who are due around that time..

Oooo Mandy I am so sorry to hear your news. You not only faced a some tragic news about Emma but had to make the toughest decision any parent could ever be faced with. You are a brave and strong lady. To have had your Daughter have a life of pain and suffering would have been devastating. This is just my opinon and I felt exactly the same when I was told about my Son inheriting my translocation and I knew if he had lived it would have been a life of suffering for him.

Know she is looking down on you and thanking you for being such a brave and strong Mummy xxx

 

[Lamburai1703]

Mandy I am so very sorry that you had to make such a truly heart breaking decision. There simply are no words. My thoughts are with you and your husband at this sad time.

 

[stardust22]

Mandy, I am so very sorry to read your post. I have no words that can possibly come close to comforting you. Its devastating and unfair. I just hope and pray you and your hubby can hold each other tightly and ease some of the pain.
x

 

[teddygrahams]

Heart tree,

I've experienced two miscarriages this year and after each one I felt that I would not have the courage or strength to try again. Someone on this blog said that their desire to have a baby outweighs their fear of having a miscarriage. That really stuck with me and that's exactly how I feel.

 

[MissMaternal]

Mandy I am so sorry, there really are no words... My heart goes out to you xxx

 

[hopefulmama2b]

Oh Mandy, I am so sorry to hear that you were faced with such a difficult decision. My heart goes out to you and your husband

 

[Mon_n_john]

I just made my appt. for my blood work next monday and I'm oddly excited about it. The nurse asked which test I needed and when I told her the 3 different names she said "Oh yeah, the expensive one." LOL, yeah, that's the one. She asked if I had been told how much it would be, which I was: $766, eeek! But, it's one step closer to answers and worth every penny for my little future baby.

 

[LeeC]

Hi Mandy.

Just wanted to see how you are doing. Sending you big hugs.

xxx

 

[puppycat]

Hi ladies

Well I'm back again after m/c number 3, it was a chemical which I suppose some people wouldn't even consider a m/c but I saw 2 lines and then started bleeding the next day - I have cried a lot. We have been trying since November 2010 and I thought it might be third time lucky but not so

for us all x

 

[Mon_n_john]

Hi ladies

Well I'm back again after m/c number 3, it was a chemical which I suppose some people wouldn't even consider a m/c but I saw 2 lines and then started bleeding the next day - I have cried a lot. We have been trying since November 2010 and I thought it might be third time lucky but not so

for us all x

I'm so sorry for your loss Puppycat. A loss is a loss, no matter how early. Most of my mcs have been very early and it still hurts like heck. Have you considered having testing done? After 3 losses it is certainly warranted.

 

[daviess3]

Mandy my heart goes out to you, such a hard decision to make your an amazing lady an I hope this forum can give you the support and hope you need. xx

Puppycat so sorry hun to have that excitement an then taken away a few days later you definately feel the loss a babys a baby hun! x

 

[daviess3]

Update on me, 11dpo and bfp today so far done 5 tests 3 different brands an all positive! Im really scared but excited, I dont want to tell my oh has any1 else ever felt like this? I want to save him the pain in case i end up in mc no4! I no that sounds negative but i just dont no what to do for the best! I last mc in march so 4 months a go but its such a strain on our relationship i dont want him to worry, our lifes seemed to be getting on track. Do you think i would be wrong to keep it from him? I only could for 2 weeks as i have to go for an early scan at 6 weeks as i need to start using clexane? x

 

[heart tree]

Mon, I’m so sorry for your 4 losses. I don’t know anything about the tests you are having. I hope they shed some light on your losses. Sorry I can’t offer more advice.

Mandy, my heart breaks for you. What a difficult decision. I can never say what I would do in your shoes, but I truly believe I would have made the same decision. Always remember that you made your decision out of love for your child.

Heart tree,

I've experienced two miscarriages this year and after each one I felt that I would not have the courage or strength to try again. Someone on this blog said that their desire to have a baby outweighs their fear of having a miscarriage. That really stuck with me and that's exactly how I feel.

Teddy, I’m so sorry to hear about your losses as well. My desire used to outweigh my fear. But after 4 losses, the most recent ending in an ectopic and losing my tube, the wind has been knocked out of me. I’m terrified to be pregnant again. I’ve also been given the option of surrogacy. Not that I want anyone else carrying my baby, but if it is the only way to get my baby, I might go this route instead. My wonderful mother has offered to pay for it, because lord knows my husband and I couldn’t afford it. It hasn’t even been a week since my surgery. Maybe my fear will subside in a few months. The other hard thing is that I’m almost 37 and DH is 42. Time is running out for us.

Puppy, a loss is a loss. I’m so sorry you’ve just had another one. It isn’t fair.

Daviess, finally some good news! Congrats! Personally I wouldn’t be able to keep it from DH, but I feel like I deserve extra attention from DH when I’m pregnant LOL!

Seriously though, there is no way of sparing him the pain if you have another mc. At some point he’ll have to experience the pain. It is totally up to you whether you tell him or not, but you may find it very hard to keep it from him. And also, let’s think positively about this. You have no reason to believe you are going to lose this one. Every pregnancy is unique. This could be your forever baby. I hope it is.

 

[daviess3]

Thanks heart tree ur right i will tell him got a house full tonight so prob tom!! I just checked an 20th july 2010 was the date i first miscarried an i get my bfp today! Will it bring me luck? who knows fxd how ironic is that! X

 

[Tina_TTC2]

Hi ladies

Well I'm back again after m/c number 3, it was a chemical which I suppose some people wouldn't even consider a m/c but I saw 2 lines and then started bleeding the next day - I have cried a lot. We have been trying since November 2010 and I thought it might be third time lucky but not so

for us all x

I am so sorry

This is my first time in the recurrent miscarriage thread - I know none of us want's to be here. I am hoping to find some comfort here - it's been a reallly realllly rough few days...

I remember in August, going through an emotional upheaval, thinking it was so like Post Partum Depression - without the benefit of having the little one to hold. It hit me today - the depression - I've been crying on and off - fueled by some things someone had said - but I am hoping that part is over with - I found some solace in the 'ignore' option -

Has anyone else felt like they experience a form of PPD after their miscarriages?

Actually, on that note, I also noticed that in BOTH miscarriages, I had encounters with another female who lashed out at me. The last time it was a co-worker, but thankfully I don't work there anymore. Has anyone had experiences like that, where there seems to be that one person who just doesn't get you? the last time I lost the pregnancy, the girl told me "Tina, I've been with people to have A*******S, I've seen the hearbeat on the screen, it doesn't mean anything" she told me that a pregnancy before x amount of weeks isn't a baby... that experience ripped me up something awful, and I quit as soon as I found another job. This time, it was different, but still someone was quite hurtful and mean.. maybe I just have bad luck, or when things go bad and dark around me, I bring out the darkness in people - I don't know

 

[hopefulmama2b]

Puppy cat- sorry for your loss. It's painful no matter how far along because we all wanted our babies.

Tina- People are just idiots sometimes with their comments. I have found comfort in this thread...

https://www.babyandbump.com/miscarriage-support/120353-not-say.html

It shows that we've all heard the thoughtless comments and gives you a place to vent and unite with others in a similar situation.

Davies- congrats! I couldn't go 5 minutes without telling my DH!! He'd know something was up by looking at my face!

 

[MissMaternal]

Congrats Davies! I really hope it is 4th time lucky for you xx

 

[mandy1971]

Thankyou girls for all of your kind words and support...you are a lovely bunch of women.. I'm doing ok., still cryi g at the drop of what Bdif I hear a sad songon the rAdio..,then that's me off again.., I am seeking out some councilling and hope to have a session in a few weeks time.
There is a miscarriage support group which meets once a month at my local hospital so will go along to that and see howit goes..
Emmas funeral is on Monday.. Hoping I can be strong it will be just myself my partner and both sets of our parents..
I hope everyone is well and in a good place..
Davies. That's good newsfor you honey., I can understand you wanting to keep it from hubby., until you've gained confidence..take care and really hope this little one is your rainbow baby xxxxx

 

[daviess3]

Thank you Mandy that's really kind of you to even consider wishing me luck after what your going through, but I really appreciate it, also someone understanding, I feel like today is my angels day an she sent me another baby so i still haven't told him! Maybe tomorrow! Thanks for all your hope and support ladies xx

 

[Mon_n_john]

Thank you Mandy that's really kind of you to even consider wishing me luck after what your going through, but I really appreciate it, also someone understanding, I feel like today is my angels day an she sent me another baby so i still haven't told him! Maybe tomorrow! Thanks for all your hope and support ladies xx

What a beautiful thought. I'm so happy for you, I wish you a very happy and healthy pregnancy!