schooling argument..

[megrenade]

okay, I don't want this to turn into anything heated.. and for those of you in the U.S. I'm sure you've heard all of the horror stories of things happening in schools.. given, my son won't be in school for another 4-5 years.. but I'm trying to tell my OH that when he's in school I want him to go to a charter or private school, and he's disagreeing with me?

I live close to Portland, OR.. and with all the shit I see on the news, I don't want my son in public schools (where all of this happens).

he's acting like I'm being over protective, when all I want is for him to be safe and concentrate on school, and not be afraid to "keep the Christ in Christmas".. I'm very strong on my beliefs and it annoys me that my OH is so leniant.. this happens to be a very liberal state.. and I don't like how they run the education system.

so, I want to try to find a Christian private school for him.. is that so wrong to suggest?

if this turns into a debate, I will contact a MOD to have it shut down immediately.. I'd just like some advice with people who have similar views or experienced with private/charter schools.

thank you

 

[ZombieQueen]

I went to public, a very bad school.. but I think there will always be influences its just a matter of teaching your child to make the right choices.. I noticed a lot of kids at my school got into trouble because they genuinely didn't know better, their parents just tried to shield them and not talk to them.. I don't know. I'd like my LO to go to a private school though. For educational purposes. but funny enough, I was just talking to my DH about how I'm worried about how my LO will get to and from school, like buses dont have seatbelts! But walking is dangerous, even in a nice neighborhood and I can't drive her to school everyday

I dont know if I'm cut out for this parenting thing, I may stress too much..

 

[megrenade]

haha, I totally know what you mean.. I went to public school too.. but living in small town Idaho is WAY different than living so close to Portland :\

I mean, some of the teachers I've seen went molesting kids for YEARS.. and this guy (the one on the news) is getting charged with 200-something counts of it!

I guess I'm lucky I'm having a boy; less risk.. but there's still a chance there's some sick f*cks out there

& 4 years from now we might end up rich

so, things might be a little different.. ya never know!

and yes, very stressful!

 

[Lina]

If sexual abuse is your only concern then I think you are overreacting. Christian schools also have abuse going on and you have more to fear from friends and family. The only sure way of avoiding is to home school.

 

[megrenade]

If sexual abuse is your only concern then I think you are overreacting. Christian schools also have abuse going on and you have more to fear from friends and family. The only sure way of avoiding is to home school.

I'm not afraid of just sexual abuse.. I'm afraid of people influencing him.. and not being able to keep the Christ in Christmas and such. My beliefs are important to me.. and I don't want him to be taught by a bunch of liberal atheists.

 

[Lina]

If sexual abuse is your only concern then I think you are overreacting. Christian schools also have abuse going on and you have more to fear from friends and family. The only sure way of avoiding is to home school.

I'm not afraid of just sexual abuse.. I'm afraid of people influencing him.. and not being able to keep the Christ in Christmas and such. My beliefs are important to me.. and I don't want him to be taught by a bunch of liberal atheists.

I understand, I am religious too and can identify with your concerns. We hope to move as his school time nears or he will be going boarding. Is it the cost that he is uneasy with?, you have plenty of time to save.

 

[megrenade]

If sexual abuse is your only concern then I think you are overreacting. Christian schools also have abuse going on and you have more to fear from friends and family. The only sure way of avoiding is to home school.

I'm not afraid of just sexual abuse.. I'm afraid of people influencing him.. and not being able to keep the Christ in Christmas and such. My beliefs are important to me.. and I don't want him to be taught by a bunch of liberal atheists.

I understand, I am religious too and can identify with your concerns. We hope to move as his school time nears or he will be going boarding. Is it the cost that he is uneasy with?, you have plenty of time to save.

yeah, probably.. but he's a pot smoker and really easy going.. he doesn't really have any beliefs

but I don't want my son around drugs.. I want him to graduate (I didn't).. I want him to concentrate on school and have a good start.

I will most definitely be saving for the next couple years.. and if he HAS to go to public school, I'll move to a more rural area and away from Portland.. and if OH doesn't want to go with, well.. then he can take a hike! (he won't even move an hour closer to me, has no career or family to leave.. he's afraid to leave where he's from, even though I've come 400 miles from home for him).

 

[Lina]

Yeah, it is always hard when you have different belief systems. My DH and I are on the same page on the issue and I cannot imagine having to put up a fight for something that is so important to me.

I say stand your ground and if he cares for you and his son he will do what is best. The drugs would be a big no no for me, children like to emulate and him smoking is not setting a good example and more importantly bad for his health.

 

[megrenade]

Yeah, it is always hard when you have different belief systems. My DH and I are on the same page on the issue and I cannot imagine having to put up a fight for something that is so important to me.

I say stand your ground and if he cares for you and his son he will do what is best. The drugs would be a big no no for me, children like to emulate and him smoking is not setting a good example and more importantly bad for his health.

yeah, his whole family smokes pot.. and if they even SMELL like it, they are not holding or touching my baby.. and he has went from smoking every day to only smoking on his 2 days off a week.. I'm sure he'll quit once the baby is here (we quit smoking cigarettes the day we found out I was pregnant too, that was nice of him).

but yes, definitely standing my ground.. I don't want him around drugs

 

[veganmama]

i TOTALLY understand

i attended a catholic school (for free, as the majority of our schools are catholic) and i thought they were fab compared to the public school i attended for only 1 year. MAJOR difference in the amount of drug use/bullying/bad influences.

i would never send my child to a public school after experiencing the drastic difference. i would try to convince him as much as possible!

 

[megrenade]

i TOTALLY understand

i attended a catholic school (for free, as the majority of our schools are catholic) and i thought they were fab compared to the public school i attended for only 1 year. MAJOR difference in the amount of drug use/bullying/bad influences.

i would never send my child to a public school after experiencing the difference. i would try to convince him as much as possible!

thank you for the first hand experience, that really helps!

 

[Sarahkka]

I have worked extensively in public schools, the separate catholic school system, private/charter schools, private christian schools, and with home schoolers. I have both gone into schools to do projects and have had classes come to me for in situ courses. Here's my take:
it's not the school system that makes or breaks a good, safe learning environment; it's the teachers and admin. I have seen incredible schools in the "bad" part of town where there are gang problems, high crime rates, and all sorts of social issues. If the staff were solid, caring, and supportive, the kids were a joy to work with. If the staff were disorganized or disgruntled, I would frequently see a lot of behaviour problems in the classrooms. I don't mean individual behaviour problems; I mean the class as a whole would be noisy, unfocused, rude, etc.
It was a pretty interesting phenomenon. But I can categorically say that private schools do not produce better students. I don't know if I even think that they give much of an educational advantage. I certainly haven't noticed one. I can remember a few private schools, including a christian school, where the kids were really rude. It made me pretty certain that I would not want my kid to go to that particular school, but I wouldn't let the experience rule out that type of school (except christian, as I am not one, so I wouldn't pay tuition to teach my children beliefs that I do not share - that wouldn't make a lot of sense! ).
Anyway, the long and short of it is that if I were you, I would not rule out any type of school, but focus instead on assessing potential individual schools. If you find one that ticks off all your boxes and is private, could you apply for bursaries or something like that? Would home schooling work for you? There are fantastic resources out there for home schoolers who want to incorporate faith into their child's education. Maybe you can supplement a public school education with an extra-curricular religious class? There might be more than one way to address your concerns.

 

[Sarahkka]

Also! Don't just use the media to make up your mind about public schools. You know how bad they are for skewing the facts and reporting the most negative possible aspects - often creating a problem where there really isn't one so that they can create a news story.

 

[pinkie77]

Personally I'd be more worried how his father and his family's pot smoking will influence your child in the years before he starts school

 

[smelly07]

i agree with sarahkka x i dont think you can safely assume your LO will be better off in a private school because its 'private'... abuse, bullying, drug taking, etc etc can happen anywhere and obviously if his father and family are pot smokers that needs to be worried about firstly its a long time before you need worry about school, what will influence him and shape his character are the people and enviroment around your LO in the first 4 years of life is what needs to be focused on now iykwim xxxx

 

[Menelly]

My son attends a charter school for autistic kiddos, and it's the best thing we ever did for him. He LOVES it there, they shut down things like bullies and teasing faster than I thought possible, and their academics are great and far more individualized than any public school could manage.

I'd just do all the work on picking out a school, and tell hubby it's done. I know my ex was hesitant originally to put him in a special school, but once the work was done FOR him, he didn't mind as much.

Good luck to ya!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I attended public school in California and graduated with honors from college, so to tar public schools with the same brush is a bit harsh, imo.

I agree with the PP. It's about the admin and teachers. That's what makes a good school, not whether it is private or public.

There was an all girls school (private) in my town and most of the girls were pretty slutty.

I think you can have your child attend public school and still keep your beliefs. Remember though, it is a joint decision between you and your husband.

 

[megrenade]

well, at least if the girls are slutty I know he won't turn out to be gay! hahah.

teachers at charter/private schools get paid a lot more than union teachers, and they can actually get fired without it being a huge ordeal.. and they are more selective in choosing their staff.

(nothing against public school teachers)

he'll definitely be going to a private or charter school.. of course I'll look at more than one, haha.. we'll just see what happens.

and I'm not letting anybody smoke pot in my house.. and if they smell like it they can leave!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

well, at least if the girls are slutty I know he won't turn out to be gay! hahah.

teachers at charter/private schools get paid a lot more than union teachers, and they can actually get fired without it being a huge ordeal.. and they are more selective in choosing their staff.

(nothing against public school teachers)

he'll definitely be going to a private or charter school.. of course I'll look at more than one, haha.. we'll just see what happens.

and I'm not letting anybody smoke pot in my house.. and if they smell like it they can leave!

Just wait until he knocks one of them up then

My public school teachers were among some of the best. They have to be accredited by the state whereas private school teachers do not.

 

[megrenade]

I don't want this to turn into an argument.. and I'm not disagreeing.. maybe that public school was nice? but Portland, OR? hell no!